What have parents done?
Things that make you hate
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We had this discussion some time ago.
"About what your parents did that made you hate."
Our readers also actively participated, and we extracted some comments.
For more wonderful comments, you can click on the entrance.
Actually, it's really annoying for you to talk like this.
It's really different to say that my parents have done too much to me. Once my brother talked about a girlfriend going out for a trip, and my parents must give them money. I just said that my brother's girlfriend didn't introduce my brother to her parents. Last time they went on a trip, they already gave me money. My mother told me that I didn't want to start a family, and I couldn't hide my brother's kindness. Another time, I also talked about money. Originally, I paid the living expenses symbolically after work every year. I remember my mother said at that time that we didn't want your money (PS: I don't know exactly what happened at that time). After that, I stopped paying the living expenses, and then she said I wouldn't give them money. Another time, a friend asked me out to dinner. On that day, my family also had some farm work to do and my brother was going out. Father asked me to stay at home and help, and let my brother go out to play. It is right for boys to go out to play, while girls stay at home to help. And a colleague of my mother's, whose daughter bought her something. She praises her daughter in front of my mother and always buys her things. My mother (PS: I also buy things for my mother, but every time I buy them, I don't mean they are expensive, but I think they are bad, so I will buy them for her, but I won't buy them often. I just bought it for her before she said I had it, so I went home and said whose daughter often bought her things and you didn't give it to her. These are not too much. Sometimes my mother will tell me to die and say that I have suffered so much because of me.
Hello, Leng Ai, I am the questioner of Case 2, and I am glad to receive a reply from Leng Da. At present, I have gone out to work and my mood is stable. After work, I also began to learn new courses and other skills. I firmly believe that only when we are strong can we make rules. When I saw Lengda's reply, it had been half a month. This incident accelerated my determination to leave. This is the knot of more than ten years. Through continuous learning, I think about why I was treated like this and why my parents did it. What should I do? I keep reflecting on my own problems, and I probably understand what is going on. Not all parents in this world are qualified. They can choose to love their children or not. Happy families are different, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Because of different positions, the way and starting point of thinking about problems are also different. During the transition period from childhood to adolescence, I was hurt physically and psychologically to varying degrees, and I am now learning this to cure myself. Try to look at it from an objective point of view. I don't care what others say about me, after all, what you see is only the tip of the iceberg, and the comments will be biased. Only by looking at the problem from the perspective of the parties, the objective judgment is correct. I never gave up being myself. I know that after I compromise, it will be a bottomless pit, because no one will compensate me for my time. Everyone is a spectator, not under such circumstances. Everyone will be cynical. In short, for one year, no one can make a decision for me. I need advice, but I don't need my parents to help me make a decision. You can give different opinions. This is their right. I have the right to do so. Without my parents, I would not be who I am today. I try not to make the same mistake and get out of my parents' shadow. I want to really live in the sun. I would never do this to my children.
The family I came from made me fragile, sensitive, inferior, unable to express myself, and used to suppressing myself. The latest news: You stayed at home for half a year (graduate school) without a job, thinking that you can find a job after graduating from college? ! You can't even sweep the streets! And you can't! The expression of depressed mood is: as if nothing happened when facing my mother every day, crying silently in the room at night. Recently, this sentence will be played in my mind every night.
Indeed, being born in a family has brought too much harm to children. I am a Chaoshan girl, ranking first in my family, with two sisters and two brothers. My home is really a black hole, which makes me bear too many shackles and dare not complain! Many things are broken and swallowed in the stomach, which has become a tool for parents to make money. /kloc-I was told by my parents to stop studying when I was 0/5 years old! I have been out of society for ten years and have been earning money to go home. I started from scratch and scrimped. Since I was 22 years old, I have given my parents 70,000 to 80,000 yuan a year. I don't know how to grow up and be good to myself. I just paid blindly, and finally I hurt my family all over, including two relationships, because I couldn't give up my business. I never thought I needed to be loved. I didn't wake up until something happened last year. I never thought about my life! Now I realize it! I am so lacking in love!
My mother said I dared to say one more word, and she threw hot water in my face. My father said that he would be in charge of my business from now on. He committed suicide on the spot, and I helped them raise his sister. These are the years when my parents hurt me. I never wanted to hate, but I'm sorry I don't want to be weak, hate or love again. They are selfish to me, and I don't want to be selfless anymore. It's best not to disturb each other like this.
Actually, I blame my mother. I dare not say that I hate her. Her education is very simple and rude. When I was a child, I didn't take a nap and ran out to play. When she came back, she insulted her and pinched the child's private parts. Really cruel and insulting! Junior high school is not long, just call me a dwarf hen all day, and the neighbors know that voice! Now that I'm older, I force you to go on a blind date. I was scolded at home before meeting everyone, for fear that others would look down on me, so I can make do with it. In fact, every time I come back from a blind date, the other person likes me and asks to get along. In order to resist her demeaning to me, I have always refused to be with my blind date, even if the other person's conditions are good ... In short, this kind of family education is very poor.
Looking at the comments, there are still people who crusade against two problems. I think they think the problem is simple. I also think it is not easy for parents to ask the second question. There is still a child to take care of after breast cancer surgery. Now that the topic has worked, I'm sure my parents are old and really need the help of their children. But it is not clear from this case what help parents need from their children. Is it because of poor health that people need to take care of the elderly and children, or is it a heavy financial burden? Blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla This is definitely unacceptable, and it also shows that there is no big problem with the parents' economy. After that, it seems that I will give my family 2000 yuan. If you have difficulties at home, you should give something to others, which is more like the need to solve the problem. Of course, this 2000 can also be understood as the money for hiring a nanny, but it is not clear. Of course, the subject is not very patient with parents, parents do encounter difficulties, and children do have the obligation to help. If you go beyond the limits you accept, you might as well tell your parents about your difficulties, how much money you earn now, how much money you spend in life, how much socializing you need, how much you have reserved for your future plans, and don't go far. How much you can give to your family in the first month or two, and what specific changes you may encounter in the future, it is not easy for your parents to see you, which is much better than a cold "it doesn't have to depend on the specific situation". This topic is really a bit straightforward. Be sure to show that you are willing to help your family. I believe that there is nothing to discuss when a family sits together. Help the subject to tide over the difficulties smoothly
I accidentally knocked over that glass of water. My father called me an animal. At that time, I was 20. I had a quarrel with my mother. My father went to the kitchen and took out a kitchen knife and photographed it in front of me. You can either go out or chop us both up. I was 18 years old. Both of them were injured. The girl's parents came to me and tried to hit me. My parents didn't see the correspondence. They left me alone to deal with this matter. I was 16 years old.
The cold must let me through. 2 Ask my sister that I am basically the same as your parents except that I have no younger brother or sister, but it took me ten years to believe that my parents loved me the most, but in the wrong way, to give up and resolutely "cut off contact". I mainly want to say that the material and spiritual consumption of being born in a family is far beyond your imagination. The counselor said that I was the most antidepressant she had ever seen and asked me how I got to this state quickly. I said I might have known that I had no home, no husband and no money. Therefore, there is no other way but to save yourself. I used a sentence to describe the mentality at that time: people don't save themselves, and the devil takes the hindmost. So far in my life, I am most grateful to two people: 1 Fan Meisheng, who let everyone know that there are parents in the world who don't love their children. The pressure of public opinion is 30% less. I am Kimi, let my friends understand and support me more. If you think too much, you will vomit. Say something dry 1. Admitting and accepting that your parents don't love you is still in two stages. Sister, you may not even be able to admit it now. 2. Under the national conditions of China, parents should love you well, but the method is not right to suppress children who want to resist the fate of their families. Sister stay away from this group of people, or don't tell outsiders in the future. This matter does not need outsiders to understand. It's really unfilial to be dragged down by the family. The filial time of this family is a subsidy for parents when they completely lose their labor force. You can take care of your parents after you are invincible. Finally, negative energy is great, but it may help you: if I can only live one, I am still young, and I choose to live. The above is only applicable to a few families with extreme origins. Don't mislead other fairies.
Speaking of bad parents, I didn't expect so many people to vomit. I'm in my thirties, and my mother has always been in charge. She is in charge of big and small things, and she asks all my questions. Besides, I can't be careless. I have to be clear. Anyway, I just can't have privacy and I can't hide anything from her. My marriage has also been interfered by her too much. Currently divorced, with children around. I wanted to remarry after a few years of divorce, and she tried to stop me from remarrying. I hope I can live with her all my life. My boyfriend broke up with me because she opposed it. Her son's affairs, from what clothes to children's education, are up to her. It's not that I haven't thought about resisting. Whenever I don't listen to her, she will scold me. Since last year, I have been almost depressed, and I don't want to go home. Stay in the company after work and trick her into working overtime. At the end of this year, I dare to ask to live separately from her. Although the consequence was that she was angry and ignored me for a month, she also asked my sister and father to do ideological work for me and let me continue to live with her. I insist on living separately, because I can't imagine that I will be controlled by her in the next few decades. I want to make my own decisions in this life! At present, I only live with my children, and I am also very happy. To tell the truth, living with my mother is really my nightmare. She scolds me almost every day. Tucao!