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Colleague Xiao Qi, 27 years old, is not too young. It's time to talk about marriage when dating your boyfriend.
I wanted to wait for good news from Xiao Qi, but the other day she said that she had broken up with her boyfriend and asked her why, but she was full of words.
Xiao Qi said, "I was told to quit my job after I got married, have children at home and take care of them. He also said that he would give me 2000 yuan of pocket money every month and 3000 yuan for my family.
Think I'm stupid? It is no problem to ask him for a month's money. You ask him for half a year's money, so I guess I'll be lazy?
He also asked me to live with his parents after I got married, so as to take care of his parents. Their family thinks very well. It is purely a nanny who enters the house, or a nanny who is not allowed to get a bride price for free. "
Actually, Xiao Qi's boyfriend's family condition is OK. He is doing business outside and has a complete house at home. Although he wants to live with his parents, the house is relatively large, 180 square meters.
Xiao Qi's boyfriend mainly thinks that Xiao Qi's job is not a stable job within the system, he often has to work overtime, and his salary is not high, so he suggests that Xiao Qi might as well just resign and take care of his family.
But Xiao Qi's boyfriend never thought that Xiao Qi would refuse.
02
Because in Xiao Qi's view, if she quits her job and becomes a full-time housewife, it will be too insecure for her future.
Xiao Qi himself said to us, "Now I am going to get married, but I am forbidden to do so. If I really want to be a rich local tyrant, I will spend 30 thousand to 50 thousand a month, so at least I can save some money.
But only 5000 yuan a month is given for pocket money and household use. You've all been there. Help me think. Is 5000 yuan too much?
More importantly, his business this year is not as good as before, and he still doesn't know if he can do it in the future. So, will we do nothing in the future? "
At first, we also advised Xiao Qi not to get angry and discuss it with her boyfriend. It's no big deal. Let's meet each other half way.
Xiao Qi said another thing. Her boyfriend's family has a grandmother who needs to be taken care of. He asked Xiao Qi to resign, which is equivalent to asking Xiao Qi to take care of this grandmother who has been ill in bed all the year round.
Hearing this, everyone gave up.
After a while, Xiao Qi's boyfriend found Xiao Qi and asked her, "Will you marry me?"
Xiao Qi replied, "As long as you don't limit my life choice and planning, we can discuss it. After all, we have feelings. "
Xiao Qi's boyfriend giggled and said, "You are so picky at your age. Believe it or not, I am now beckoning a little girl younger than you to marry me. "
Say that finish a word, Xiao Qi turned away.
03
After that, Xiao Qi went to work with swollen eyes. During her lunch break, I asked her the result of communication with her boyfriend.
Xiao Qi said, "I don't know where he got his confidence. Since I think I can find a younger girl, I'll find someone else. I was also raised by my parents, and I studied hard for more than ten years before I graduated from college. I really wasn't born to be his servant. What should I do if I am lovelorn at the age of 27? I just don't listen to their family's arrangements. "
After listening to Xiao Qi's words, as women, we all feel that Xiao Qi has done something with backbone.
Some men think that their conditions are very good. It seems that there are always many women who like them, so that there is no bottom line and no principle, and they always put forward some very harsh conditions.
Xiao Qi's boyfriend told Xiao Qi to resign, which may be out of kindness, but he didn't consider Xiao Qi's position, and he was sure that Xiao Qi wouldn't turn against him because of it. This feeling of being a girl is very bad.
04
Nowadays, many girls would rather be bitter and tired after marriage than give up their jobs to be full-time housewives after marriage. There are three general reasons:
First, stay-at-home housewives are too insecure, afraid that Huang, an old woman, will not be liked by her husband, and there is no cost to turn over.
Now news and consulting are very developed. It is often seen that people are forced to divorce in middle age. Because I have been a housewife for a long time, I have been divorced from society for many years and have no survival skills.
These women are extremely poor. After years of housework, they were mercilessly abandoned by their heartless husbands and lived a very hard life.
Nowadays, many girls don't want to embark on this unbearable road. At least when they have an independent economy, they have the confidence to fight against their husbands and are not in a passive state.
Second, too many people can't see the value of housewives, and too many housewives gradually shape themselves into pieces and refuse to grow up.
In fact, many families don't see the value of being a full-time housewife. The mantra of many husbands is, "What are you doing for me? It doesn't matter if you stay at home anyway. "
Please, do you want to mop the floor, buy food, cook and wash clothes every day? Are these all made by robots?
More housewives are gradually buried by the trivial things in life and give up growing up over time. When children grow up, they watch TV or brush their mobile phones when they have time, and they have no chance to get in touch with new things and society, forming a vicious circle.
Third, in many families, the husband alone is not enough to support the family, and letting the wife work full-time will reduce the wife's living requirements.
Nowadays, there are not a few families where both husband and wife need to work, because it will be very difficult for the husband to support his family alone.
Nowadays, society is changing with each passing day. If one day the husband loses his job, the family will have no income at all, and it will be more difficult to survive. But if both husband and wife have jobs, after one of them loses his job, the other can barely support his family.
Many husbands only earn four or five thousand yuan a month, which is enough to support a family. Therefore, asking your wife to be a full-time housewife means lowering your living requirements and not buying clothes, cosmetics, jewelry, etc. There are many girls who don't want to be subservient to their husbands because they have the ability to give themselves a better life.
05
Finally, back in Xiao Qi, what Xiao Qi said is very reasonable.
First, her boyfriend's family is an ordinary family. Giving her a full-time job is nothing more than doing housework and taking care of the elderly, which is equivalent to the role of a nanny. She is given very little money every month. 5000 yuan is only enough for the whole family.
Secondly, her parents trained her to go to college, not to make her a full-time woman after marriage, but to give her more and better choices in case she was abandoned in middle age.
So Xiao Qi's refusal is affirmative and reasonable.
Everyone is not wrong, but everyone's ideas are biased. Xiao Qi has become a modern woman and knows how to think about her future. However, Xiao Qi's boyfriend still stays put, thinking that girls will hate getting married when they reach the age of 27, and promise everything.
As we all know, women are gradually awakening. If they are hurt more, they will actually be hurt. They see more things and actually cherish themselves.