I. Preface:
1. As we said in the last issue, people sometimes don't want to let go of some past events that hurt them and let negative feelings and emotions continue to affect them. This is because these people and things are of great significance to the subconscious of visitors.
2. The crux of the problem is that people have to realize that there are three things in a traumatic event: the memory of the event itself, the meaning of the event and the emotion brought by the event, but they are not a whole and are indispensable, just like the gems in an old wooden box. In fact, through some skills, we can keep the beneficial experience and significance in traumatic events, let go of bad emotions and let the discomfort disappear with the wind. Afterwards, we can recall the traumatic events clearly and peacefully.
3. It should be noted that:
A, if it is an event with greater discomfort and pain, it is not recommended to handle it by itself. For example, measured by numbers, there is no uncomfortable feeling =0, especially uncomfortable or even difficult to face = 10, and the severity is higher than 6, so it is not recommended to handle it by yourself.
B, interested readers can deal with emotions as little as possible, and if it has an effect, it is naturally good; Even if you don't feel the obvious effect temporarily, you don't need to care too much.
C. When the skill proficiency is insufficient, both reason and emotion are mobilized to deal with the existing negative emotions. When reason tries to use skills, the feeling is suppressed, which will interfere with the processing effect of skills.
D, if it is related to traumatic events such as death and parental relationship. It may not be effective, because for some special reasons, other skills are needed to deal with negative emotions.
Second, the skills of ending traumatic events.
1, evoke memories
To deal with emotions, you need to arouse that feeling first.
You can find a quiet place and close your eyes.
Focus on your shoulders and take a few deep breaths to relax your body.
Then try to recall the scene of the traumatic event, try to recall the scene at that time: environment, time, event scene, people in the scene. ...
It seems that he has returned to the scene of the incident. ...
Step 2 pay attention to feelings
When negative emotions appear.
Try to understand, if this negative feeling has a name, what is it? Anger, sadness, injustice ...
Try to feel this negative emotion, if it is in your body, where it is. If you want to imagine that this negative emotion is "visible and tangible", what is this negative emotion like? How does it make you feel?
(For example, when someone is dealing with uncomfortable feelings, it seems that there is a large black lead block in his chest, which is square and heavy, and the whole chest seems a little stuffy ...)
3. Try to resolve negative emotions.
The most interesting thing about people is that the human brain can't distinguish between facts and imagination.
When you evoke negative feelings in traumatic events, for example, in the last step, you have tried to describe the unspeakable feelings in the past, and change the intangible negative feelings into "what they look like" through imagination and "what they can see and touch" in imagination, then you can dissolve the intangible emotions through imagination.
You can try ways to resolve your emotions, such as:
1. When you recall past traumatic memories, you will imagine that you are watching a situation program on color TV. When you deal with the distress, you imagine that the distress scene changes from color to black and white, and the distress changes from clear to fuzzy, and the degree is weakened. Slowly, the TV signal is not good, and the "TV program" in the uncomfortable scene begins to fall off the screen, and your discomfort seems to be missing for a few minutes. ...
For example, if you feel negative emotions in your body, you can imagine the feeling that you can touch the outside of your body with your hands. If the body does not feel uncomfortable, it will become easier. Further, for example, in your imaginary scene, emotions outside your body are pushed away, crushed and thrown into the trash can. ...
…………
wait for ...
This technique is very useful for some people. Even if it is only in imagination, let a negative emotion that has not been dealt with for a long time be "visible and tangible", deal with that emotion in an imaginary situation in your own way, and deal with that uncomfortable emotion with your imagination. Please mobilize your "vision, hearing and feeling". The more enjoyable and interesting the picture of dealing with emotions in imagination, the better the effect. (For example, someone once recalled some scenes in Tom and Jerry. The uncomfortable mood was knocked lightly with a hammer, smashed into dust, fell to the ground, sucked away by a vacuum cleaner and disappeared ...)
Ideally, after this step, the negative emotions have disappeared and you can calmly recall the traumatic events at that time.
But some people have been divorced from their feelings for too long, and the effect is not good when they need to mobilize their feelings and imagination.
Remember what we talked about? People's subconscious communicates and interacts with people mainly through their emotions and feelings about objects and events. However, due to the growing environment, some people have been wrongly educated to be "separated from their feelings" since childhood, and have always ignored and suppressed their feelings. They have little contact with feelings, and this will happen. They need to use their feelings, but they find that they can't seem to feel the information conveyed by their feelings.
At the same time, remember "the jewel in the broken wooden box"
3, meaning in the heart
When you deal with that kind of negative emotion, you always feel that you can't handle it (attachment: you can't push things to the past, you can't push them away, and so on). You just can't imagine how that feeling can be "tangible")
In a quiet place, focus on your shoulders and take a few deep breaths.
You can ask yourself first: "What part of my body felt uncomfortable in the traumatic event?"
Then ask yourself: "Is there any important meaning or knowledge in this, which is very useful for my future life?" Or "can I always learn from this incident? With this experience afterwards, I can take better care of myself, protect myself and make my life more successful and happier?"
Try to understand the significance of this traumatic event.
Now I want you to separate this meaning or learning from things in your own way.
(For example, in imagination, pain first flies out of the body, and then a diamond flies aside in pain)
At the same time, reach out your right hand, connect it to your hand, and feel some of its weight, the feeling in your hand.
Now slowly put your hand on your chest, put this meaning and knowledge into your heart, and feel the feeling of this meaning and knowledge entering your heart.
Does this one feel comfortable?
Wait until you feel a little comfortable.
Now take a few deep breaths, and breathe in hard every time, and feel this comfortable feeling and the feeling of expanding and warming. This kind of meaning has filled the whole body, and the meaning, value and things to learn of traumatic events have been stored in your heart.
That's it. Take a deep breath three or four times until you feel that this meaning has been integrated into every part of your body, and then you will use yourself to help and support yourself.
Step 4: Wrap it up.
Then repeat step 3. Now that you have the gem, you can throw away the broken wooden box. The third step is to deal with the remaining worthless distress.
Finally, thank you for your subconscious support and help.
Then go to see the traumatic event yourself and see if there is any other meaning and the need to learn to do the same thing.
If so, repeat the previous exercise until all the meanings are in your mind and all the negative emotions disappear.
In this way, traumatic events are dealt with, meaning is remembered, and negative emotions are dissolved and disappeared. In retrospect, we can calmly recall the events at that time.
Off-topic:
1, people sometimes can't let go of some painful memories because some pains have a meaningful value. When people learn what they should learn from them and complete the process of growth, they can let go, turn around and continue to live their own lives.
2. Dealing with traumatic events and learning from them, so as to complete growth, the premise is to face and accept the facts, but one of human instincts is to be afraid of pain, so people will be unwilling to face unpleasant things and choose to escape for a period of time (just like some children, who are too happy to do their homework and forget to be beaten by their parents, so children dare to tell any lies, anyway, escaping is just an instant). But if some pain must be faced and dealt with, avoidance becomes your own problem, because if you don't always deal with it, you will always avoid it, and as a result, you will always suffer until you do what you should do well.
It makes sense that the subconscious mind can't distinguish between imagination and reality.
Sometimes, what really makes people uncomfortable is not the incident itself, but the negative feelings and redundant imagination brought by the incident (for example, "the shadow of a cup bow snake" means that the parties imagine themselves drinking a snake in their stomachs and imagining the snake tossing in their stomachs).
This feature can also be used to motivate yourself, for example, when you try to imagine more about the moment when you will succeed in the future, how will you develop your ability step by step to succeed, and make yourself more positive through such hints.
In the same way, this is also the reason why imagination is effective in dealing with negative emotions. In imagination, illusory negative emotions become "tangible", and when they are dealt with in people's imagination, people will feel that the discomfort seems to have disappeared.
The more specific scientific research basis behind this will not be discussed here.
Provide reference keywords: subconscious, sensory connection
Interested readers can search related books and documents by themselves.
(Note: This skill was learned from teacher Li Zhongying's NLP implementation course).