There are also many girls who are hesitant about their love, such as "he has no house", "he has no car", "he has nothing" and "is he worth marrying alone?"
In today's skyrocketing housing prices in China, many people will sympathize with the young people in China. If there was no room here, what would you propose to the girl you like? If there is no house, how can we give girls a different life? If there is no house here, which girl will marry you?
Here I want to raise a misunderstanding. Why is the house, car and ticket a prerequisite for two people to get married, rather than their life goals after marriage?
We choose marriage because we value him, not because of external conditions. In other words, in today's ridiculously high housing prices in China, who can afford a house on their own? I want to say that most of them rely on their parents to make a down payment.
There is a popular saying that feelings are nothing, and feelings will always be defeated by reality. When all the real material conditions are superimposed, many people's love becomes vulnerable.
It is also said that what to talk about in love directly depends on whether a person's material conditions can be met or not. And most people who have this idea, even if they get married, are likely to be unhappy after marriage.
Entering marriage with impure purpose, without emotional foundation, everything is fragile. Without emotional foundation, how can such a home be rock-solid just because of material conditions?
I value whether two people have the same goal in life more than a cold house.
Sister Jing and Mr. Wei have been together since college. Although two people are in different departments, in the same club, playing much, it is natural to walk together. As we all know, love in college is the purest, and two simple young people will not be disturbed by realistic conditions.
Sister Jing always said that I value him more than the house.
After graduating from college, Jingjie was sent to Xiamen University for postgraduate study, and Mr. Wei found a job. Speaking of the most bitter days of their love, Mr. Wei was sent to Inner Mongolia by the company, and Jing Jie was alone in Xiamen. During those days in different places, Mr. Wei gave Jingjie his salary card, and Jingjie called him to ask for his monthly living expenses.
Mr. Wei often says, I am a big man, why do I need so much money? It doesn't cost much in this hellhole.
On 20 12, Jing Jie graduated from graduate school, and Teacher Wei was transferred back to Xiamen. That year, they had no house, car or ticket. Two young people got their certificates and had a simple wedding.
"With him, everything will be there." Sister Jing is an only child, and her parents are also very kind to Mr. Wei and listen to him.
Sister Jing works in Xiamen University, and they just started renting a house. Mr. Wei takes the shuttle bus to work and runs business all day; Sister Jing goes to school by bus, and they live the simplest life. Mr. Wei is very kind. He always gathers fellow villagers from all walks of life. He is a lesbian, climbing mountains on Sunday and traveling long distances on short holidays. Although there are not many tickets, life has its own poetry and distance.
On 20 14, Jingjie was pregnant, and Mr. Wei began to look for a house near Xiamen University so that Jingjie could walk to and from work. We became neighbors and friends and occasionally played cards until two or three in the morning. House prices in Xiamen began to skyrocket, and the four of us once talked about whether we planned to buy a house when we were tired of playing cards.
/kloc-At the end of 0/4, the daughters of Mr. Wei and Jingjie were born; /kloc-in 0/5, Mr. Wei bought a car to take his daughter out for the weekend; /kloc-in 0/6, Mr. Wei and Jing Jie bought a house in Xiamen, and they finally officially settled in Xiamen.
Not long ago, I saw Jing Jie posting in a circle of friends. "Two people were brushing the door, and a fool forgot to bring his key and closed the door, so he was blocked at his door." A state of complaining is also full of fun in a small life. Sister Jing will also bask in the furniture they bought, and finally manage this small house and her little life bit by bit.
From nothing to building a home bit by bit, Jing Jie and Teacher Wei spent four years. In fact, when we are young, we should choose a suitable person, someone who is willing to work with you. The process of two people from scratch, looking back on the journey, everything is so beautiful.
Instead of having everything, think about whether this person is suitable for you. How can two young people, with hands and feet and stable jobs, not build a good family? Home is not just a cold house, it also has temperature. You built it with the same purpose in life
When Sister Miao first arrived in Hangzhou, she had nothing but a debt of 20,000 yuan. Live with a second-hand landlord and put up with her harshness everywhere. what can I do? People are under the eaves, just graduated, so I have to put up with it.
Miao Jie's boyfriend Junko is in Nanjing, graduated one year earlier than her, and also found a job in Nanjing to accompany Miao Jie. Who knows that Miao Jie signed a company in Hangzhou as soon as she graduated from University? Two people set out from different places. Hangzhou is not far from Nanjing, but there is no high-speed train in 12, so they only meet once a month. 12 years, Junko quit his job and went to Hangzhou with Miao Jie.
The only way to solve the long-distance relationship is that one party must choose to sacrifice, so that life is possible.
Junko found a job in Hangzhou that he didn't like very much, but the income was ok. Sister Miao got rid of the second-hand landlord completely, moved in with her and lived a happy life.
Young man, you have to move on. The two of them are good at making friends, and Sister Miao is also a cheerful and lively woman, who is good at playing. Every weekend, the young couple's chief accountant plans where to play and eats whatever he has to eat. Every year, the young couple still travel abroad and have a good time. Sister Miao and Shunzi also made an appointment with friends to play mahjong until they were tired. In the evening, several people ran out to string together. What's even funnier is that I lived in their house for a while, and Sister Miao wanted to say at night that Junko accompanied Sister Miao out for several nights. "No, I have to eat tonight." Sister Miao ate it and brought me a snack.
I envy their living conditions. Nothing serious, life is still the most dull happiness. There will be quarrels because of minor contradictions, but it is never because of the house or the car. These so-called realistic conditions, in Miao Jie's view, can be earned as long as two people unite.
Sister Miao and originally planned to rent a house for life. They also joked that it was good to get married and live together like this. In the seventh year of their love, Miao Jie and Shunzi got the license. When they called me, I told Junko that I took you as my brother, and I knew you would come into our house sooner or later.
/kloc-in 0/3, they bought a car, and Junko paid the full amount and wrote Sister Miao's name. /kloc-in June of 0/5, they bought a house. Two young people, with poor family conditions, finally got a house of their own in Hangzhou with the money they saved. "After the big deal, spend less money, don't go out to travel, and get a mortgage." As long as you do something with someone who is with you wholeheartedly, how much pressure you bear is shared by two people, not one person.
15 12, Junko called me and said Sister Miao was pregnant. My husband and I were very happy. I asked Junzi how he felt. Junko said, finally feel responsible, how happy, want to be a father. /kloc-In August of 0/6, Miao Sister and Junzi's son were born, and Miao Sister returned the money to me, saying that her biggest goal in life now is to "save money for her son, and now there is no foreign debt to pay back".
I admire them very much. They paid off all their foreign debts in less than a year. Also, as long as two people have the same mind and hands and feet, they can earn what kind of life they want.
Houses, cars, tickets, everything, but in this vast sea of people, I can't find a suitable person.
Although it is said that with a house, the chances of finding a wife are greater. But around me, there are some people who lack everything except their wives.
I asked Blackie more than once what kind of girl she was looking for. Xiaohe is a native of Xiamen. He has two houses and a car, not to mention working in a financial institution, and his income is naturally considerable. The little black boy is very good, and he is a very motivated and responsible older youth. Speaking of this age, it is a bit old, 83, still single.
I also introduced a girl with very good conditions to Xiaohe, who is very nice and has no choice in personality, education and appearance. But after several meals, they never contacted each other again. The black man said, don't feel that way. Don't scream.
Not long ago, I had dinner with some friends, and a doctoral student talked about his concept of mate selection. He said that when you have everything, you can't just pick anyone. Why do you have to find that girl? A person has capital, material conditions remain unchanged, and no one can be found. Why is he looking for someone he doesn't like? But there are still contradictions. We have everything, anyone can find it, but no one can find it.
I have never understood what he said, but I have everything, but I can't find someone I like. Until I wrote this article today, I seriously thought about it, only to find something missing: nothing, you find someone who has the same life goals as you, a car, a house and a ticket, get married and have children, and run your life bit by bit; You have everything. You're just looking for a mistress. It's hard to have any goals in life, such as getting married, having children and living in a muddle.
It is not difficult to find that the marriage of the first kind of people will not be the grave of love, and their love will sublimate with the gradual progress of life, which is also precious; The second kind of marriage is more like a besieged city. Just putting two young people together, this kind of marriage is more likely to be intervened by outsiders.
I finally understand, what kind of girl is Blackie looking for? He wants to find someone who has the same goal in life as himself, rather than simply living on the established basis.
If you just want to find someone to live with, you can really find anyone; But if you want to find someone who has the same goal in life as yourself, chances are that no one can do it. You have everything, how can you pray for such a person in the same boat?
Many married women always complain about their mother-in-law and interfere in their family and life. Actually, let's think about it. Who can tell you how to live and who has the right?
If you are not financially independent, how can you expect others to respect you? Especially in a family, even a family, as a person who wants money, how can it really be financially independent?
Look at the marriage of most young people now. Many only-child houses are bought by parents. How can you expect others not to treat you as an outsider when you live in someone else's house? Even if you live alone after marriage, it is difficult for you to feel at home in a prepared house.
You didn't earn this house. From the beginning, it was prepared by others and given by others. You did not build your home bit by bit, but because of this house, you married into their home.
Only when a person is economically free can he truly have freedom. And this is what many women are pursuing now.
At any time, don't give up people who share your life goals easily because of realistic material conditions. Once you give up choosing a house, you will be abandoned by the house one day.
Will you get married without a house? I will, as long as this person is worthy, I have the same goal in life as him. Even if we have nothing now, it is only a matter of time before two people have hands, feet, a house and a car. The important thing is that we are both United and determined to live a good life.
Some people will give up their love because of the existing material and conditions, and they are always anxious and feel that they have no time. Why are you so selfish? You can't make up your mind to live a good life with the people you love. In today's China, it's selfish of you to put all the burdens on men.
At any time, please remember that what matters is who you marry, not the house or car. A person who is not your soul mate, no matter how much you have, will lose it sooner or later; And a person and you are in Qixin, even if you have nothing, you are full of spirit and will manage your life slowly in the future.
Will you get married without a house? I will care more about the person who struggles with me bit by bit.
A thoughtful housewife. Wechat official account: Liming ID: yibao 8690