Linlin is the planner of a company. He has been in the company for some time. He works hard and has a good working attitude. In a few months, the leaders of the company headquarters will come to inspect.
The executives of the company decided to redecorate the office, so they arranged for Linlin to plan the project. Linlin put forward an economical and feasible plan, and the executives were satisfied with it, so Linlin was entrusted with an important task.
But it's not that simple to implement. If you want to save money, you have to save the space of all employees, which may offend many people. Finish the task ahead of time without delaying the work of colleagues, and consider everything thoroughly.
And even if it is finished, it may be thankless and will delay your work. Thought of here, Linlin hesitated for a moment, and finally refused.
Later, Sister Yu took the initiative to take over. After Yu Jie took over, executives suggested that Linlin help Yu Jie.
"If you can't finish it on time? What if something goes wrong in the middle? Who is responsible for the problem? ..... "Linlin hesitated, or choose to refuse.
The renovation project was implemented, and it did encounter a lot of troubles when coordinating with various departments, but in the end, the task was successfully completed. The senior management looked at my sister differently, and Yu Jie was promoted.
See the royal elder sister promoted, regret it. ...
Second, I'm afraid I can't finish it. Do I feel incompetent?
Does Linlin really think he is incompetent by repeatedly rejecting the proposals of senior executives? The answer is of course no. In fact, in the final analysis, it is the "demolition effect" that makes Linlin avoid the problem and have no courage to face it.
1. What is the demolition effect?
The origin of the demolition effect is related to an article by Mr. Lu Xun. 1927 Mr. Lu Xun wrote a "Silent China", in which there was a passage that said: "China people always like reconciliation and compromise. For example, if you say that this room is too dark, you are definitely not allowed to open the skylight here, but if you advocate tearing down the roof, they will come to settle and be willing to open the skylight. "
Therefore, this phenomenon of putting forward more or more requirements in order to meet less or less requirements is called "house demolition effect".
Usually, in the face of difficulties, the instinctive reaction of human nature is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. Few people are willing to accept tasks that cannot be completed, and they are easily amplified psychologically.
This situation leads people to refuse first when they hear something difficult or are asked something unacceptable. But if others lower the difficulty or requirements of things, they will hesitate. If you lower it again, you agree.
Take Linlin as an example. She thinks that the implementation of the transformation plan can't be completed by herself. She thought and thought, and finally refused. Later, he just offered help, but Linlin refused, fearing that he could not do it well.
But if Linlin agrees from the beginning, Linlin will be promoted.
2. Why do most people have a "demolition effect"?
Inferiority is at work. There are many reasons for inferiority, among which not knowing yourself is the main reason.
Most people look at themselves through other people's comments. Once someone has a low evaluation of themselves, especially those who trust them very much, such evaluation will disturb their own understanding, thus being influenced by others' words and producing their own sense of inferiority.
People with this mentality tend to underestimate their abilities and feel that they are worse than others in all aspects. But also accompanied by some negative emotions, such as shyness, loss, depression and so on.
Self-confidence is reduced, and inferiority is bound to prevail.
Therefore, for anything, even if you have the ability to complete it, the result will be a failure, because from your heart, there is another voice telling you: "You can't do this" and "You can't do that".
The result hasn't started yet, and we were defeated by ourselves first.
Come to think of it, in most cases, many things seem to be troubled by various external factors, but the problem lies in ourselves.
When we decided to give up, although we didn't want to give up in our hearts, our own reasons made us "raise the white flag" and declare surrender.
Fear of Uncertainty Lovecraft once said: "The most primitive and intense emotion of human beings is fear, and the most primitive and intense fear is the fear of the unknown."
Linlin is a good example. When assigned a task by an executive, Linlin's first thought was: "What should I do if I offend someone?" "What if I don't do well in the future?" What if something goes wrong halfway? ......
Instead of thinking, "What is the reward for doing well?" "Have you gained more work experience after completing this task?" …
Usually, when we are faced with uncertain things, we will subconsciously choose to escape and resist some turmoil and changes from the bottom of our hearts.
Because I can't predict the future, because I never know what will happen in the next second, and I don't know if my choice is right or wrong.
Third, how to avoid the "demolition effect"
Generally speaking, people will unconsciously start two psychological mechanisms when facing things they don't want to happen. One is to try to take some measures to avoid things happening; The other is to adjust the inner psychological contradiction and prepare to accept this unchangeable fact.
But no matter what kind of psychological mechanism, it is not a good choice. So how do we face difficulties or challenges and avoid the "demolition effect"? Teach you three ways:
1. Use "attitude"
"Attitude mentality", also known as "endowment mentality", is a kind of psychological state that describes people, and refers to the psychological state that a person thinks he is extremely rich in spirit, physiology or material.
We can try to think of such a scene: if you want to do something, you may encounter some setbacks in the process and you feel that you will be isolated. At this point, "Do I still want to do it" will become the focus of your willpower.
And if you change your mind, when you encounter difficulties and feel that your resources are infinite, will you still consider giving up?
If you don't think about failure at all, then your consciousness will not be affected.
Jie Ge is a young entrepreneur. He considered starting his own business when he was in college. For college students without any experience, although they have good ideas, they are faced with practical problems:
There was no start-up capital and not enough money to package his products, but he didn't give up. Instead, I spent all my money, sold my family property, borrowed money from relatives and friends, and raised money to start a company; He persuaded his companions to go to the streets to pick up "empty bottles" and use them after modification.
In fact, the most important thing is what kind of mentality you use.
If you can have this mentality, your attention will not stay on the difficulties, but how to get the resources to solve them.
2. Confidence comes from action
No matter psychologists, educators, sports coaches ... almost everyone will reach the understanding that self-confidence is based on action.
Sometimes, we may feel at a loss because of lack of self-confidence, so that we are in a dilemma. We will consider how to act without self-confidence.
However, in fact, only by trying to do it first can you have a sense of accomplishment every time you finish it.
Life has always prepared surprises and accidents for us, and all kinds of opportunities contain rich teaching. Only by taking action can we find new opportunities and unexpected possibilities in reality.
For example, one day the boss gives you a difficult task, and you may give up because you are afraid of not doing it well. And if the boss reduces the difficulty of the work, you will choose to accept it.
But in contrast, your boss will appreciate those employees who dare to accept problems and challenge themselves.
As everyone knows, your boss is actually taking advantage of the "demolition effect". His demands seem high, but his psychological expectations are not high. Such a task is also a task with less responsibility and risk.
3. Take utilitarian learning methods.
Sometimes, in addition to lack of self-confidence and fear of unpredictable things, feeling that our skills are not up to standard will also make us unable to challenge more difficult things.
Gorky once said, "It is never too old to learn".
Therefore, even if you are already in the workplace, you should always keep learning and meet the storm that may come at any time. The so-called utilitarian learning is to start from the actual needs of work and apply what you have learned immediately after learning.
Select a problem: select a problem that needs to be solved at work. For example, you are about to record an audio course, but you don't know how to make the sound better. Then you can be sure that the problem to be solved is "how to make the sound more comfortable."
In this way, learning for the purpose of solving problems.
Determine the scope: determine the scope and order of learning content. First, according to the urgency of problem solving, determine the content and scope of learning. If you have enough time to solve problems, you can learn more comprehensively; If the time for solving problems is tight, you should learn methods or skills that can get immediate results.
Practical application: If you have no previous experience in this field, you must strictly follow the guidance of the learned methods and apply them meticulously for the first time.
Because, only after strict application can we prove whether this method is useful according to the feedback effect, and we can know how to improve this method according to the actual situation.
Wilson once said, "Responsibility is proportional to opportunity".
No matter in life or at work, never say no to what you think you can't do, so that life will be more possible.