This sentence is especially true for psychological counselors. I remember that when I first came into contact with psychology, I also liked to make a savage analysis of others, applying theories I knew little about to explore other people's problems and satisfy my vanity.
Teacher Li repeatedly stressed in the course that as a psychological counselor, you should have self-knowledge. Help each other or show yourself? Only when you have a basic understanding of your own ideas can you see clearly what motives are hidden behind your help. Behind the Notre Dame complex, we often try to get a sense of self-worth from each other, which is not completely impossible, but we need to see clearly and know how much damage is done in the name of "I am doing it for your own good".
Without awareness, we will think that we are helping others, but we don't know that we have caused a lot of trouble to each other.
A few days ago, a friend in the WeChat group posted a link to the WeChat reading team, and another friend reminded him not to post such soft advertisements. He was not persuaded. He thinks it is not only for his own good, but also for the convenience of others. Team up and study for free. This is not a good thing. How can it be an interruption?
Different people have completely different needs. For some people, it is better to buy a member instead of spending time and energy to form such a team, so as not to bother others. Why waste other people's attention on things that can be solved with money? The friend who sent the link thinks that I am doing this for myself and others, so why not? The same thing, two people from different angles, from different ways of thinking, the conclusions and feelings are very different.
Many times, we are self-centered and think that we are helping others, but we are actually satisfying ourselves. Especially when the other party doesn't need it at all, our self-appreciation will only be annoying, but we don't know it, making it seem that we have to tell the truth when we take advantage.
So is psychological help. When the other person doesn't realize his psychological problems at all and has no need for help, you insist on telling others that you have problems and want to solve them. The other party will not buy it, but will think you are sick.
Therefore, being a good teacher is not only self-righteous, but also a lack of education. Because when we are good teachers, we are not filled with each other, but ourselves, a big self.
Therefore, Mr. Li will repeatedly emphasize that we should find and meet each other's needs, instead of starting from our own needs and thinking that the other party has the same needs.
At present, the situation of epidemic prevention and control is grim, and WeChat group and friends circle have overwhelming epidemic information every day. For people who are rational enough, if they want to get the latest information about the epidemic, they will get it directly through credible official channels. People who like to forward various links are concerned about the epidemic on the surface, but in fact they are often anxious and want to release this anxiety through forwarding. Even if the forwarded content is true or false, as long as the topic hits the soft spot in one's heart, it will be forwarded decisively, causing what Teacher Li said is mental pollution.
People who forward it may think that I just forward it casually, which may be harmful, but these unreliable bubble messages will not only consume the attention of people who trust you, but also leave a negative impression on you.
As a psychological counselor, you should be self-aware. When the other party is willing to ask for help, it is both a professional accomplishment and a self-knowledge to find the other party's needs and provide appropriate help to the other party with professional knowledge and skills.