On the one hand, it is important to know yourself. Being able to know yourself well is one of the important prerequisites for change. There are indeed some people who spontaneously solve many things as soon as they realize the problem. But for most people, it doesn't mean understanding and cognition. Changing the narrative can be changed immediately.
Behavior is often restricted, and life is often trapped in the same place. People's cognition and behavior are greatly influenced by the environment. Every time I consult, the hope and understanding I get are likely to be immediately overwhelmed by the environment and reality.
Depression, anxiety, depression, these emotions that are not seen for a while often come back, and these emotions that leave and come back are the enemies to complete the change.
I understand that the change is spiral, and it is normal to fall back from time to time. At this time, in the consultation in different places, the goodwill, recognition and support of the consultant is very important.
Change takes time. In this process, many people will worry about whether they are doing the right thing, whether they are good enough, and whether they are on the right path. Even those who know themselves best will question themselves in the face of actual decisions; Especially in the face of real pressure, this sense of uncertainty is even stronger.
At this time, if there is a consultant from a different place, because the consulting relationship is relatively stable, it can provide emotional support to help visitors understand the analysis behavior and stimulate motivation, and tide over the difficulties together.
For example, common family, marriage and emotional problems in counseling. Recognizing problems is often just the beginning of change. For various reasons, it is very difficult to try to change each other in a relationship and realize self-change under the influence of one party.
Even if you are aware of your cognitive and emotional deficiencies, it is not easy to really pursue what you want in a relationship. There are rules to be clear, needs to be expressed, beliefs to be firm, and behaviors to be practiced. Want to implement, want to try, want to pursue, can't be done overnight.
Many visitors, after completing short-term consultation (generally 6-8 times, including 1-3 times of pre-evaluation), will have a feeling that I already know what I want, what is my cognitive problem, and I am eager to change. This kind of motivation is very precious. If the problem is not complicated and the visitors have strong subjective initiative, the result may be more in line with expectations.
For more complicated situations and cases, due to the old boundary and inherent pressure in the relationship, sometimes at the initial stage of trying this change, visitors are often surprised, more stressed and more prone to depression.
"I have realized this problem, but I can't change it. Is my life really unsolvable? " This is a question I am often asked and my answer is often the same. Change does not happen overnight, but often takes a long time.
Focusing on the present and reducing anxiety and depression about the future is easy to say, but there is great resistance in the process of real implementation. In this process, the consultant, as the companion of the visitor's journey, always tries to understand, comfort and love. It is meaningful to remind visitors why they chose this change at that time and let them know that their change is on the right track. This is the best consultation and interview relationship in my mind, and I should look forward to it.
It is my understanding that short-term consultation can help you understand yourself and long-term consultation can complete the change.
I hope my answer is helpful to you.
Generally, in the later stage of consultation, there are three contents.
1. Consolidate the effect: review the consultation process, summarize, point out his progress to the visitor, and guide the client to learn to adapt to the environment independently.
2. Follow-up investigation: the investigation of the negotiation effect may be that the negotiation effect is obvious and the problems of the parties have been solved; There may be some effects, but it is not completely solved; It also has little effect and the problem has not been solved. In the latter two cases, you need to continue to consult.
3. Ending the consultation relationship: generally, it is a gradual transition to stop consulting, such as once a week before, once every two weeks, and once in the last month. After reaching the standard, the consultation is over.
What will you talk about in the later stage of long-term psychological counseling?
The so-called long-distance psychological counseling refers to a long counseling time, generally more than half a year, as opposed to short-distance counseling.
Undeniably, psychological problems are complicated, but there is a main line. Solving problems along the main line is to grasp the core problem, which often has a good effect and takes a short time. Although complicated, there are so many cores.
The emergence of remote consultation also has a historical origin. At that time, the psychologist Freud consulted for a long time, 1 year, several years, more than ten years. It is estimated that many words are repetitive.
The development trend of psychological counseling is short-term. Judging from the situation of visitors, a considerable part of life is spent on psychological counseling, which is really a loss. On the other hand, the cost of long-term consultation will be unbearable for many people.
If the counselor's skills are good, he can solve problems quickly and efficiently, and visitors actively cooperate, the consultation time will be greatly shortened, so that visitors can recover as soon as possible and resume their normal work, study and life, which is powerful for counselors, visitors and their families.
Remote psychological consultation
Cognitive school is short-term, and long-term is nothing more than psychoanalysis, existentialism and humanism. Jung's analytical psychology can also be long-term.
In the later period of psychological counseling college, the topics discussed basically did not involve some rules and regulations. Visitors don't come to psychological counseling with themes. After establishing a good relationship of trust and attachment with psychological counselors, the two sides developed a special intimate relationship instead of sticking to the original focus. Visitors will only make an appointment at a time and place, just like meeting their close friends, and will not want to meet and say something. When you meet, the topic will naturally come to mind.
For details, you can read "Fundamentals of Psychodynamic Counseling and Treatment" and "A Concise Guide to Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and Long-term Psychodynamic Psychotherapy".
The perfect situation fades from the psychological counseling relationship.