Xiao Yong never dared to look forward to the arrival of love. To be exact, after his boyfriend of two years left himself to find a woman after graduation. He thought he saw the so-called gay circle clearly, but he indulged himself in his youth, and then he was dismissed after his youth.
When he just broke up, he was very sad, crying to stay, and even threatened to commit suicide. All kinds of actions he once looked down upon were done, and finally he only got a cold sentence from his boyfriend, "People like us are doomed not to be together forever." Xiao Yong didn't want to. There are lovers in the world who have problems. First of all, they should figure out how to face each other. Why are they here? When they encounter real problems, the first solution is to break up. Xiao Yong began to register dating software.
In fact, most people in the circle do not join various qq groups to seek physical stimulation and register various dating software. At first, everyone just wanted to chat with their peers and get recognition for their experience and identity. They really need some people to talk to. So is Xiao Yong.
Xiao Yong talked with them about his experience. When he was in primary school, his mother died and his father and stepmother ignored him. No one seems to care whether he is cold or not, and he doesn't have enough to eat. In his own words, he is wild. Fortunately, he still loves to study, was admitted to a good university and made a boyfriend who cares about himself. Xiao Yong felt as if life had begun to give him a taste of happiness. Indeed, I only let him taste it once, only for two years, and then I separated.
Like other groups in the world, people in the circle are mixed, and Xiao Yong has changed under the temptation of some idle people.
"Happiness must be won by yourself."
"Who should you go to see? Who wants you when you are old? "
"If you are too tired, relieve the pressure."
"What does that sentence say? Oh, let a man with spirit take risks where he wants to go?"
"Who cares about your persistence? Wake up. "
...
People are more likely to accept such negative things when they are most sad and almost give up hope.
One weekend, Xiao Yong suddenly smiled halfway up the mountain, laughed loudly and turned down the mountain.
2
Xiao Yong seems happier. He won't talk about his sad past with others. He even learned to drink and laugh with everyone. Xiao Yong began to contact and associate with all kinds of men. It was late at night, and a faint voice in my heart told him not to do this. He sneered, "What did I get in the past?"
This went on for several years until he came into contact with light rain. In fact, I have always known him, but Xiaoyu rarely speaks in groups and does not participate in activities such as group dinners. Xiao Yong once again talked about buying books because he was preparing for the exam. Xiaoyu said in the group that he had books and could give them to him.
Xiaoyu is a sunny boy with lovely dimples when he smiles. Xiao Yong followed him to Xiaoyu's residence to get books. Although it is a rented house, it can be cleaned up like home with warm yellow lights.
Xiao Yong felt as if his heart had melted, just like his mother was at home when she was alive. Although Xiao Yong has made preparations in advance, just like he met other netizens, chatting, eating and sleeping trilogy, Xiaoyu is not as eager to have physical contact with him as other boys. Instead, I just touched his head, gave him a glass of juice, and then went to him to chat with him.
"Maybe, I'm not his type. I don't even want to touch me. " After leaving Xiaoyu, Xiao Yong thought.
He guessed wrong, and Xiao Yu seemed to like chatting with him until one day, Xiao Yu sent a long message: "I thought for a long time, and finally got up the courage to tell you today." I don't know if you are single, it's a bit presumptuous. I like you. If you are single, I will chase you until I catch up with you. I don't want to play, I have come out with my family, and my family doesn't object to me. " Xiao Yong didn't expect love to find him again. He was even a little scared: "I have some past. Do you mind?" But don't worry, if we get in touch, I will return the group and the software. The expression "Xiaoyu sent a smile.
three
Although Xiao Yong has been mixed up with other people for years, she still longs for a simple love and a home-like environment.
In this way, the two began to associate and lived together after half a year. As Xiao Yong said, he quit all gay social circles, and he felt he needed to get rid of his old self.
Even the signature of WeChat has become "reborn". He seems to be a different person. His old friends are very serious and don't even joke. Xiao Yong felt that since God took care of himself and gave it to himself almost this time, he must take it seriously and put aside his dissolute life in the past.
Soon, Xiao Yong got a job in a famous international pharmaceutical factory, and he seemed to feel that everything was going well. But just as he was preparing to join the job, a phone call from the CDC coldly informed him: "The HIV test result is positive." Xiao Yong directly sat down on the ground.
He didn't cry, even wanted to laugh, laughing at his innocence: "Do you think your past idleness can be erased? Silly X, how can you do something wrong without paying the price, haha. " If he can, he wants to go back a few years ago and give himself a loud slap in the face: "Just because you were dumped, you are willing to fall?" Do you know that nobody wants you anymore?
Like this, when happiness comes, do you dare to take it? "
Xiao Yong and Xiao Yu, who are at work, returned to their residence. Xiao Yong couldn't stop crying at the moment she entered the room. The video games they played together, the casserole they made together, and the handmade ornaments they made together. He is reluctant to part with it. Xiao Yong believes that if he tells Xiaoyu everything, he will accept himself and take better care of himself. Xiao Yong wanted to think, but he loved Xiaoyu too much to tell Xiaoyu. While packing, he fantasized that Xiaoyu would come to himself like crazy when he got home. Xiao Yong hung the key on the porch and whispered, "I love you very much, but I'm leaving you. Goodbye. " , say and drag the suitcase to leave.
It's sunny outside, which makes him breathless. Xiao Yong decided to leave Xiaoyu in this way. He dare not say goodbye. He is afraid to see himself withdraw from Xiaoyu's world with a sense of ceremony.
Outside the community, there is a straight street. Xiao Yong walked farther and farther, like a drop of water evaporating in the sun, shrinking slowly and finally disappearing.