Enjoy those jokes about housing prices and listen to the sadness behind the laughter.
Double-decker houses and single-family houses
Why do snails look cute, but slugs are disgusting?
This is probably the difference between having a house and not having a house.
-Why are wasps annoying and pearls attractive?
Son, this is the difference between living in a tube-shaped apartment and a single-family apartment. "
Creative space
The most expensive place is called Wang Di; The most expensive room is called Wang Lou;
The latest one is called out of print; The tallest building is called a landmark;
In the old city, it is called inheriting thousands of contacts; Being away from the city is called ecological luxury;
A foreign name is European; Name the Chinese as classical Chinese;
Big and expensive, called a mansion; Small and expensive, called a mansion;
Fine decoration is called "give you a five-star home"; The blank room is called "creative space".
Looking at house prices from firecrackers
Looking at Shanghai housing price from firecrackers during the Spring Festival;
20,000-30,000 clearly heard firecrackers, 40,000-50,000 vaguely heard firecrackers, and 80,000-200,000 didn't hear them at all.
Imperial capital house price
If your annual salary is above 300W, you can buy it anywhere you like in the Second Ring Road.
If your annual salary is between 100-300W, you can buy it anywhere you like;
If your annual salary is between 50- 100W, you can buy it anywhere you like.
If your annual salary is below 10W, you can dig a hole for yourself and bury it anywhere.
mortgage
Mortgage is to press you to the ground and uncover you layer by layer.
Although the writing is a little rough, this description is very vivid for most house slaves.
House prices rise and fall.
House prices rise, you work for the developer all your life;
House prices fall, and you work for the bank all your life;
In fact, you have been working for an invisible hand all your life.
Solve the congestion problem
The Chinese nation is a wise nation, and we invented off-peak commuting to solve the congestion problem.
Next, we can solve the problem of high housing prices by inventing peak-valley houses. Simply put, some people buy a house in this life, and some people buy a house in the next life. ...
make a discount
A: "It would be nice if the house price was also 50% off on the day of the Double Eleven!"
B: "Look at what you said, it seems that you can afford it at a 50% discount!"
deal
The agent called to ask Big Brother if he wanted to buy a house, and the house price would soar. If you don't buy it, you won't have this price!
I said I already bought it.
He also said, big brother, do you want to sell the house? Now the house price is good and at a high level. If you don't sell it, there will be no such price!
Three fantasies of life
Three illusions in life: TA still loves you, stocks will go up, and house prices will go down.
I want to choose a city to die, and I met a man with white hair. But we can only book A shares for a lifetime and pay back the mortgage for a lifetime.
Real estate couplets
The first part: "Silly" came, "Silly" bought it, and "Silly" earned hundreds of thousands;
In a word: "smart" calculation, "smart" look, "smart" year is in vain;
Horizontal batch: buy if you believe it, read if you don't believe it.
Which bubble is bigger, the property market or the stock market?
China has a project that can win the Nobel Prize in Economics:
Nearly half of the profits of listed companies are not enough to buy a luxury house in Beijing, Shanghai and Shenzhen, but selling the shares of 1% is enough to buy several sets. Please demonstrate which bubble is bigger, the property market or the stock market?
Magic lamp
A Dai found a magic lamp in the alley. He wiped it, and the genie appeared: "I can grant you a wish, you say it!" "
A Dai shouted excitedly, "I want a house."
The spirit turned black: "What's in it? You are too greedy. If I can give you a room, why do I still live in the lamp? "
Sacred comment
A real estate project slogan: "My mother said: If you want to buy a house here, I will marry you."
God commented, "I can only reply to her: Did your mother force you?"
Shuofang
Pu Songling has a serial studio, Liang Qichao has an ice drinking room, and Ji Xiaolan has a reading cabin, but I just want a set of affordable housing.
Achieve the same goal through different ways/means.
The so-called "all roads lead to the same goal" means that China children who once dreamed of becoming pilots, scientists and politicians turned their dreams into buying a house when they became adults.
Won 5 million
The reporter interviewed passers-by in Shenzhen: If you win 5 million yuan, how do you plan to spend it? Passerby: Pay the mortgage first ... Reporter: What about the rest? Passerby: Return the rest slowly. ...
Buying a house is up to standard.
The wedding day is coming, domestic brothers, rich apartments, no money to live in, looking at the inside and outside of the Great Wall, tall buildings, construction sites, crowds surging, getting up early and greedy for the dark, my mother-in-law said: buying a house should meet the standards.
God's darling
You need money, but you can't see a sea of people. Such a high property price, a room is hard to find, attracting countless heroes to compete. When the Emperor Wu of Qin and Han Dynasties saw this scene, he shook his head, but Tang Zong Song Zu did not move. A generation of arrogant Genghis Khan had to live in a yurt.
The most honest real estate developer
When a real estate opened, the director made a big advertisement to attract the public, which read: no house, no wife.
At the appraisal meeting of the real estate industry association at the end of the year, the real estate director won the "most honest real estate developer".
Which model are you?
If you have a house and no money, you want to learn from Russia to keep the house price and abandon the exchange rate.
Those who have money and no house hope to learn from Japan, protect the exchange rate and abandon the house price.
Those who have houses and money in their hands are eager to sell houses and allocate overseas assets.
Those who have no house or money in their hands feel that it has nothing to do with themselves, just collapse completely …
Which model are you?
Watching the sea and drinking coffee with a dog.
Husband and wife, worked hard, and then bought a villa with a sea view. The mortgage was very stressful every day, and they went out early and returned late.
Then what their nanny does most every day is to take the dog to watch the sea and drink coffee on the balcony.
A cure for salvation
In the past year, we have experienced effective rescue remedies one by one in the United States:
Keynesian government stimulates demand; Marshall Plan's Belt and Road Initiative; Clinton's internet plus innovation; Friedman's money supply theory; Reagan's supply-side reform, oh, and the fuse system; Finally, we return to the familiar real estate to stimulate the economy …
66 study in Dongtai City, Yancheng City