As for being outside, it shows that children don't know much about the outside world. He was afraid of the outside world when he went out, so he was outside.
To change these two problems, first of all, parents should have a sense of rules for their children at home, and they can't satisfy everything when their children cry. They should tell their children clearly that only by following the rules can they get what they want. In this process, parents must adhere to their own principles, and children must not be soft-hearted when they cry, so that children will never make progress. As for the child crying, you can treat it coldly and just ignore him. Don't talk to him until he has figured it out and is willing to obey the rules.
Secondly, parents must take their children to do more outdoor activities, get in touch with the world and let him know the rules of the outside world. In this process, parents can guide their children how to get along with others correctly, help them establish good contact with the outside world, and let them overcome external problems and grow up healthily.
Children who are "timid outside and arrogant inside" can't say that family education has failed, but it is very harmful. If left unchecked, it will have a great impact on their lives.
I believe everyone has heard the saying that the easiest way to destroy a child is to be obedient to the child. Children stay at home outside, largely because of their parents' overindulgence.
Now there is more than one child and two children at home, and parents protect them like babies. Because of "love", they feel that any request of their children is "reasonable", and they will try their best to satisfy their children and make them happy, for fear of bringing them painful suffering.
In the long run, the "kindness" of parents has cultivated the waywardness of children; The "kindness" of parents is precisely the source of children's pain.
Willful, laissez-faire, do not know how to restrain themselves, do not know how to control their emotions, whether correct or not, according to their own ideas. However, society is complex, everything around it does not exist to meet their needs, and people around it can't completely obey them.
When they do something unsatisfactory, they will feel that others are deliberately making things difficult for him, feel pain and depression, and have a bad influence on their body and mind.
If they can't actively and consciously adjust their psychology and emotions, over time, it is likely to lead to psychological diseases, such as depression, paranoia, mania and so on.
If parents really love their children, they should pay attention to scientific education methods, educate their children some rules from an early age, which behaviors are right and which are wrong, and don't let them develop wayward habits, so as to avoid being wayward for a while and suffering for life.
It is common for rats to cross their nests with guns.
Explain that the family is relaxed and comfortable for children. The outside is full of challenges and unknowns for children. The child is cautious outside and has accumulated pressure in his heart. When they get home, they know that their families will tolerate and forgive themselves unconditionally. The horizontal cost at home is very low, so they will release their stress at home.
Most of these children are introverted, sensitive, unsociable and a little flattering.
The reason may be the doting of parents. May be in the child's heart, don't understand the importance of family and outsiders, don't understand the truth of life. Over time, children will disagree with themselves, but they are unable to change the status quo.
Therefore, this situation requires parents to carefully analyze the reasons and guide them in time. Because once this practice becomes a habit, it will make children encounter a lot of confusion in their later lives, which is not conducive to their future family harmony.
I'm glad to answer your question. In the children's educational career, every pair of parents is a novice, but I think "being timid outside and being horizontal inside" is really a failure of education.
In my impression, there are two kinds of children around me, one is very protective of their relatives or friends. Abbreviations are consistent appearances. The other is particularly brutal and overbearing to his family, but he is very gentle outside and says everything, son.
However, the education of the two types of children is completely different. Parents give their children a sense of security, and their education is reasonable and principled. Just because it is a child, I think it should be allowed. And the status of the family is completely equal. Parents and children can ask questions democratically and share them together.
When I was a child, my mother often said that "children should have a fear of strength", which was very embarrassing outside. I think it is good because children still have this so-called fear of strength.
It is often said that some people are fearless, always making trouble, lacking awe, and will eventually harm others.
Whether children or adults, people must have something to fear when they are alive. If they are afraid of getting hurt, they won't take the initiative to provoke others. Don't do things that violate the law and discipline, afraid of losing face; Fear of backwardness, dare not be lazy; If you are afraid of what goes around comes around, you won't do anything unreasonable ... fear, fear of the outside, fear of strangers! It seems a little timid, a little timid, but in fact this is the normal state.
Crossing at home is nothing more than what we do every day. As soon as you enter the house, let go of your guard, do whatever you want, use your parents' love or your husband's preference, and exercise seemingly simple and rude coquetry orders! "Mom, why isn't the meal ready yet? I'm starving! " "Husband, my back hurts today, come and pinch it!" ..... as long as we understand each other and accept this seemingly "horizontal" mode of getting along!
Therefore, I don't think it is a failure of family education for children who are timid outside and cross at home. On the contrary, if you are "outside and inside", it is a bear! I think this is worse!
Everything is measured, don't be too timid outside, don't be too horizontal at home, this is the best state. This requires our lifelong adjustment and practice. Not to mention children? Children are still young, life is still long, give us time to debug and give children time to imitate! Don't rush to decide success or failure, this is the measure we should have.
As parents, it is good to reflect on their own education methods, but there is no need to completely deny their education because they are "timid outside".
At home, it is common for children to spoil their temper, which is the embodiment of children's sense of security and belonging. And if children are too timid at home to express their thoughts and needs, then parents should reflect on themselves, whether they are too strict with their children at ordinary times, or beat and scold their children, which has caused certain harm to them.
Let's imagine, if a child doesn't dare to speak loudly or have any emotions even in his own home, who will he talk to once he encounters problems? I'm afraid he won't tell anyone, but choose someone to bear it. In the long run, children are likely to have psychological problems and even cause serious psychological diseases such as depression.
Adults are often upset, let alone children. When we are in a bad mood, we can choose to complain to our family and friends, read books, watch movies, or cry to relieve our mood. Children are too young to know what their emotions are sometimes. Even if they know what is going on, they may not be able to express it clearly in words. Therefore, they can only choose to cry and make a scene.
At this time, what parents should do is to guide their children to understand and ease their emotions, instead of scolding them because they think their children are too "horizontal". He is already very sad. Let's not be stingy with our love, shall we?
Many parents regard their children's anger as a scourge. In fact, anger and anger are just a normal emotion. What we need to do is to help children understand and resolve their emotions when they are angry, instead of not letting them get angry.
About understanding emotions, you can use some picture books, such as My Emotional Little Monster, to compare various emotions to small monsters of different colors, so that children can better understand the characteristics of various emotions.
As for resolving emotions, parents can learn from the mother in the picture book "Angry Soup", put all their anger in one pot and cook a pot of "Angry Soup". Of course, parents can also create their own solutions with their children, such as imagining a wisp of smoke coming out of their heads when their children are angry.
"Positive Discipline" says, "A child who misbehaves is a child who has lost self-confidence." When we encounter this situation, it is the best way to educate our children by giving them a hug, helping them and encouraging them.
It must be a failure. Will he face family or society in the future? Hope is to help children establish correct values and outlook on life and help them adapt to life and environment.
Hello, I'm glad to answer your question.
I can't think so completely, but one thing is certain, that is, parents spoil their children too much, as long as their requirements are responsive. At home, the child is the little emperor and the little princess. She is the master of her own territory. But others won't get used to him outside, so of course he just stays at home and is afraid of being outside.
Educating children is not an easy task in itself. Parents must educate their children more. Although children can't be like us adults, the most basic etiquette is still necessary. Whether children are at home or at home, they should form good habits. Spoiling a child is killing it!
I hope you are satisfied with my answer! thank you
Answer: It has something to do with family education, but it is not the failure of family education.
I often hear other mothers say: My children are cute at home, but they dare not speak when they come out. It's really worrying.
It seems that many children have this problem, and many mothers have noticed this problem. Is it a failure of family education for children to have such problems?
Not exactly.
Family education includes many aspects. We can't say that family education is a failure just because children have this performance. It should be related to family education, but it can't be a failure.
Children who are "shy outside and cross inside" are actually insecure when they go out and don't know how to contact and communicate with others. What they say is that they don't know how to socialize.
The reason can be attributed to the following points:
1, children rarely have contact with outsiders
Usually, children have more contact with their families and less contact with outsiders. When you get along with your family, the whole person is in a relaxed state, and you are more comfortable, and you don't have to hide your emotions. He can do whatever he wants, but it's a bit "in the nest."
Once in contact with outsiders, the whole person will be prepared, not good at communicating with outsiders, and look a little timid, that is, "strong outside but weak inside."
2. Poor adaptability to the environment
Children are timid outside, which shows that children have poor adaptability to unfamiliar environments and cannot change roles well. When they see outsiders, they are too timid to speak.
When children grow up, they will know that they are shy.
A mother said: My children used to love talking and didn't recognize strangers. The bigger you are now, the more alive you are.
In fact, this is because children grow up and know that they are shy. Seeing that outsiders are no longer as "stupid and bold" as before, they will become embarrassed to talk now.
Children who are timid outside and cross at home really give parents a headache. What should parents do when they meet such children?
1. Parents are advised to bring their children into contact with outsiders.
Take your children out for activities, don't stay indoors all the time, get in touch with different people, eliminate their nervousness and stop being "timid".
When getting along with outsiders, parents should set an example and tell their children what to do. If they don't do it, don't force it.
Children have strong imitation ability. When they see what adults do, they will do it themselves after a long time.
2. Parents are advised to encourage more and criticize less.
There is always a process for children to grow up. Parents should never blame their children for their "external cowardice" or force them to associate with others.
Parents should understand their children's psychology in this state, encourage and guide them more, and let them get through this period smoothly.
3. Parents are advised to communicate with their children more.
Usually, parents should communicate with their children more and exercise their language skills.
Parents should not think that their children play games by themselves and do other things by themselves because they are obedient. In fact, it is best for parents to play with their children. Only when there is communication in the process of playing can children have the desire to talk, and children especially hope that their parents can play with them.
Reading picture books is a good way of communication, which can not only learn new knowledge, but also help children develop the habit of reading.
When reading picture books to children, you can guide them to retell and tell stories in their own language. Parents should listen patiently and encourage.
Raising children is a slow process. Parents should not be too anxious. Children at each stage will face different problems. While doing a good job of self-reflection, parents should also know how to guide their children and make them progress.
Children who are "timid outside and horizontal inside" are examples of the failure of family education.
Now every family has only one child, and the child has become the focus of the whole family or even several families. Children compromise unconditionally at home, and children sincerely think that all members of this family can meet all my needs. This is called "crossing the nest".
The external environment will not blindly accommodate children. After several experiments fail, the child will find that the external environment will not meet all his requirements, and blind satisfaction at home will lead to the child's lack of communication, which will lead to the phenomenon of timidity outside.
If parents are kind to their children, they should let them experience principled love and let them learn the way of life and communication, which is more conducive to adapting to society.