Hello, I'm Ceng Laoshi, a family educator who has worked for more than 20 years. During my nearly 20 years' educational career, through getting along with children and communicating with parents, I found that family education is so important in the process of children's growth and plays a vital role in the development of children's personality, behavior habits, ways of thinking, beliefs and values. ?
Good family education makes a good life for children. In our daily work and life, we often hear many parents' confusion when educating their children: Ceng Laoshi, what should my children do if they are particularly careless? My child is fooling around in his studies every day, and I need to keep urging him. How can we make him study consciously?
I collected all kinds of parents' puzzles and sorted them into 100 family education problems, 100 family education cases and 100 solutions. Today, I will share these cases with you to see what family education problems you have encountered, or what problems need to be solved urgently, and discuss how to educate children in the most scientific way. ?
Question 1: Children always drag their feet when they do their homework. What should they do?
If children delay doing their homework, we can help them make a good time management plan. Pay attention to the negotiation plan and don't force it. For example, according to children's homework, tell them before what time they must finish their homework, and then you can have fun. You can use a small alarm clock to let the children estimate the completion time, and then within the specified time, there will be rewards for completion, remember to keep urging. "Do one thing with a purpose" can help children learn to plan their time and know what is most important. Stick to it, and children can get rid of the habit of procrastination in homework. Remember not to directly criticize children's procrastination, because it is meaningless to let children speed up in a state of lack of thinking and irritability, and even dampen their interest in learning.
? ? Question 2: What should children do if they love to play mobile phones?
First of all, you should reflect on your parents, whether you are addicted to video games. If so, it will be difficult to correct the child. For example, you screen every day, play Tik Tok every day, or play games and watch your mobile phone for a long time. Children will imitate you to play mobile phones. Parents are children's mirrors, and parents' shadows can be seen from children. Therefore, in order for children to quit mobile phones, parents must first do not play mobile phones in front of their children.
We played mud marbles when we were children after 1980s. That's our time. Nowadays, children play electronic products and mobile phones. This is their time. Playing mobile phones is not all bad. Children can learn a lot in the process of playing mobile phones. But there is a limit to everything, and you can't be addicted to mobile phones. Parents can make some reasonable rules for their children, such as the length of playing mobile phones. Don't give your child a mobile phone to play with when he is young. Common parents give their children their mobile phones in order not to cause trouble. Doing so may prevent children from making trouble, but it is easy to form a bad habit of relying on mobile phones, which is also bad for children's health. You can use the "attention transfer method" to help children quit mobile phones. For example, you can accompany your child to do some outdoor sports, especially antagonistic sports, so that the child can win and lose, and let the child find more sense of accomplishment and value in the process of winning or losing. If the teacher arranges homework on the mobile phone, parents can do it with their children. Don't simply give your mobile phone to your child to prevent him from stealing it.
Question 3: Children are timid and afraid of life since childhood. What shall we do?
The world familiar to adults is unfamiliar to children, and children's fear of life is an instinctive self-protection. Parents, first of all, should face it with understanding and acceptance, and then analyze whether children usually have too few outsiders, or strangers tease their children too much, and we don't explain to them in time, which leads to children's insecurity towards strangers. ?
Also, are our parents themselves showing a lot of worries and discomfort about strangers' environment, and then unconsciously passing this feeling on to their children, and so on. Remember to force children to greet relatives and friends or kiss and hug, allow children to have a small space for self-protection, and then naturally set an example and gradually expand their comfort zone, thus becoming confident, strong and brave, and no longer afraid of timidity.
? Question 4: What if children don't like sports? ?
Children don't like sports, but they don't have good habits of sports. Parents can choose to exercise with their children at a fixed time every day. ? Such as running, ball games, etc. As long as children experience happiness, sense of accomplishment and value in sports, children will like sports. My son didn't like sports before, but later I bought him a badminton racket. Every time I play badminton with him, I deliberately lose to him. He felt a sense of accomplishment and his own value in playing with me. Now he is always pestering me to play badminton and likes sports.
Question 5: What if children don't like to do homework? ?
I don't like doing my homework. First, homework is often a passive task, and children are not interested. ? Second, homework is not only boring, but also lacks a sense of accomplishment; ? Third, sometimes violent homework will make children feel punished. ? Fourth, children's ability is poor and it is difficult to finish homework. ?
Solution: First, finish homework passively, but when to write and what to write first can let the children decide for themselves. ? Second, the homework is completed, and praise the children in time. ? Third, in the face of violent homework, help children adjust their emotions, understand their boredom, and communicate with teachers when necessary. ? Fourth, when children have difficulty in completing their homework, they should give methods and guidance. ?
Question 6: What should I do if my child doesn't pick up his toys after playing? ?
This is because we missed this sensitive period of children's order in the early stage. When do children start to pay attention to fixed objects in fixed positions? ? We think this is the child's stubbornness. In fact, this is the best time to train children to pack their toys. At the same time, we often arrange children to pack things. ? Even when parents tidy up things for their children and children occasionally tidy up things, they have not received timely, full and positive praise and recognition. What should I do if I let my children pack their toys? We only regard this as a housework, but we don't see the cultivation of children's ability to summarize and classify behind packaged toys. ?
It is suggested that parents can get twice the result with half the effort by grasping the sensitive period of children's order. ? If you miss it, you can only cultivate it through positive encouragement and good habits. For example, it is a good habit to have a circle of friends before and after children clean up, so that relatives and friends can praise them and praise them for cleaning toys in time. Help children develop the good habit of packing. ?
? Question 7: What should I do if my child cries? ?
Crying is an expression of emotion. Crying means that children are used to crying to express and solve problems. ? Parents' anxiety is that they are eager to stop their children from crying when they see them crying, and even sneer at their children, unlike men. When the child stopped crying, he thought the child's problem was solved. Parents, on the other hand, ignored the reason why their children cried and did not help them find more expressions to solve the problem. ?
It is suggested to take these steps, allow the child to cry for a while, hold him and gently accompany him, saying, Baby, cry for a while, and I will accompany you. ? When the child is emotionally stable, help the child sort out the details of this matter, express the feelings of every detail, and guide the child to think. Besides crying, what other ways can you express and solve problems? Children learn to deal with emotions in the right way, and naturally get rid of crying. ?
Question 8. What should children do if they are picky eaters? ?
The so-called picky eaters mean that children only eat what they like. ? However, parents are afraid of children's unbalanced nutrition and often force their children to eat foods they don't like, which may lead to more eating problems and even dislike eating. Parents are advised to choose the appropriate method according to the specific situation.
? First, reduce snacks for children. Snacks can cause children to be picky eaters. Second, appropriately increase children's pre-meal exercise. Third, invite friends who are not picky about food to have dinner with their children. Fourth, indirectly explain to older children that the nutritional components of food are varied, so that children can understand the truth of nutritional balance. ? The fifth condition allows that there are ways to improve the taste of food. ? Sixth, parents can consciously and actively express what I like to eat, because of what? Guide children to balance nutrition.
? Question 9: Parents and the elderly have different educational concepts. How do we coordinate them? ?
First of all, we suggest that the problem of educating children should not turn into disrespect or unfilial to the elderly. Because it will cause new problems in family relations. Then, when we communicate with the elderly, we must pay attention to the way and express our views calmly, not impatiently. Old people tend to spoil their children too much. We should try our best to accept the way the elderly treat their children, but at the same time, it is more important to give full play to our role as parents. Parents have great influence, and children naturally know how to do it.
? Question 10: How to cultivate children's good reading habits? ?
First of all, we should create an environment suitable for children to read at home, with exclusive bookshelves, books and desks to build a scholarly family. Pay attention to the books on the shelf, the handwriting is outward. The illustrations on the cover can attract children's attention and arouse their interest in reading. Buy books according to the age characteristics of children and buy books that children like to read. Moreover, parents need to read with their children and experience the plot in the book with them. I use "reading book" to cultivate children's love of reading. Children can get points every time they study, and the points can be deposited in the "reading passbook" and exchanged for gifts. After a long time, children develop the habit of reading. ?
? So much for today's Family Education Problem 100. Thank you for listening. In the future, let's join hands and educate our children in a scientific way. Goodbye.
to be continued