1, improper use of words. "White" should be changed to "white". that is
It's a waste of time to study for so long and get such poor grades.
2. Improper expression. Replace "equal to" with "close to". that is
Spending 20 yuan's money on such a beautiful dress is a drop in the bucket.
3. Logical error. Can be changed to:
The success of this matter concerns the future and destiny of our company.
4. Delete "Yes".
His views do not affect our evaluation of him.
5. Lack of theme. Can be changed to:
On this trip to Hong Kong, she spent thousands of dollars on clothes alone.
6. This is not just your business. If you are unhappy, am I happy?
7. The word order is wrong.
I didn't expect this to happen in advance.
8. Improper use of words. Replace "hope" with "desire"
War is cruel, and people's desire for peace and an early end to the war is growing.
9. We should constantly enrich our knowledge and improve our ability in practice.
10 He took off his coat to show off his muscles.
1 1, director Zhang and several other staff members, they are really enthusiastic and responsible.
12, you have a good talk with him so as not to cause unnecessary trouble.
13, everyone I look at you, you look at me, and they don't talk.
14. You should study as the teacher taught you.
Or: the teacher taught, you learned.
15, there are many more international students this semester than last semester.
16, everyone hopes that his illness will get better soon.
17, semantic repetition. Delete "very".
The child had a high fever and turned red.