Lead: An important means for people to face the reality positively and grow up healthily is to help them finish what they think? Unfinished business usually refers to bad emotional experience (such as chagrin, regret, guilt, anger and so on). ) from some traumatic and exciting experiences in previous lives. Like emotions, they restrict people's free activities in real life. And if people want to devote themselves wholeheartedly to real life, they must be excluded? Heart knot? Interference.
I. Introduction
With the continuous development of education in China, the number of graduate students in normal universities is also increasing, among which the number of girls accounts for a large proportion. In the current new social situation, coupled with some characteristics of girls themselves, many female normal students often encounter some psychological confusion.
Psychological confusion refers to the incomprehension and confusion that individuals encounter in their work, study, communication and self, which will lead to a certain degree of psychological contradictions and conflicts, produce some irrational ways of thinking and negative emotions such as anxiety and depression, thus affecting the normal life of individuals, but it has not yet reached the level of psychological obstacles. The author was fortunate to have in-depth exchanges and some face-to-face consultations with many female normal students. According to her own practical experience, she classified these psychological puzzles and put forward corresponding psychological counseling strategies.
Second, the main psychological confusion and its causes
1. Where is the way to study the professional direction choice of a female normal school student?
The training direction and objectives of graduate students are different from those of undergraduates. For normal graduate students, postgraduate education mainly cultivates students' educational research ability and teaching ability, and the training mode has also changed from general education to tutorial system focusing on professional research. At the same time, graduate students are also required to make an appropriate evaluation of their own characteristics, abilities and wishes, hobbies and environmental conditions, so as to determine the appropriate learning goals and research directions. This change is a difficult process for many freshmen, even for the old classmates who have already returned to work. For graduate students, they often experience? Excited? Confused? Do you understand? Evaluation? Positioning? This process, even a reciprocating process. Due to some characteristics of female normal students, such as the age of admission is generally over 22, and they basically reach the age of late marriage and late childbirth when they graduate; Whether to continue studying for a doctorate or get a job after graduation, or to get married and have children, these are also problems that female graduate students have to face.
2. Where does love belong? Study the emotional world of a female normal school student.
Love is an eternal topic of mankind. Female graduate students are a group with higher education, and their understanding and pursuit of love will also have their own unique side. The love situation of female graduate students can be roughly divided into two types: seeking type and maintaining type. What does the former mainly mean? Ignorance? The girl who finished her undergraduate course and went on to graduate school suddenly found out one day? Time and tide wait for no man? , plus the surrounding? Go out in pairs? Moved, I realized that I should hurry to find myself? The other half is. However, they are in normal colleges. Obviously, there is a serious imbalance between male and female students in these colleges, and women account for the majority. This undoubtedly sets a great obstacle for girls who want to find the right person. Girls who maintain their initial love also face many problems. What are the problems on campus? Holding your hand? It's enviable, but it's a pity that most girls' love is not around, and the other half may be in other cities or even abroad. Compared with boys, girls are more attached and look forward to the day when they can meet again without meeting; Finally meet, but often contradictions are caused by unsatisfactory trivial matters in reality.
3. A drop in the ocean to study the life orientation of a female normal school student
Female graduate students are also high-quality knowledge groups in today's society. Under the concern of the society, female graduate students walk into the school gate with some glory and beautiful vision for the future. Generally speaking, when people are proud, they tend to overestimate their abilities and have higher expectations for themselves. After a period of school life, I found that the reality is not as beautiful as they thought, the pressure of study and employment is everywhere, and the city consumption is so high. The original ideal is like the moon in the sky, and the gap between ideal and reality makes them feel uneasy.
I began to doubt my ability, and I couldn't help asking myself where my way out was and where my life value was.
Third, a preliminary study of psychological counseling strategies
Psychological consultation means that psychological counselors help visitors solve their existing psychological puzzles and obstacles through discussion, discussion, suggestions, inspiration and education, so that they can live and develop better. There are various forms of psychological counseling. The author's commonly used consultation method is mainly individual interview consultation, which is a development process and can be roughly divided into five stages according to certain steps or dimensions: (1) starting talks and establishing harmonious relations. (2) Collect information and lead to stories, worries, problems and topics. (3) make * * * goals consistent. (4) work. Explore different methods to find out the contradictions and conflicts of visitors. (5) End the interview and put what you have gained into practice. In these five stages, we should flexibly use various consulting strategies and skills to promote the progress of consulting and achieve certain results. In view of some psychological puzzles encountered by female normal students in this paper, the author puts forward the following psychological counseling strategies based on accumulated psychological knowledge and experience.
1. Decision consultation
Decision consultation (also called problem solving). Its theory originated from Benjamin? Franklin's System Decision Model and Frank? Parsons' theory of trait factors presupposes that visitors need to make some decisions, such as choosing a career, choosing a partner or choosing how to live. Decision-making consultation can find problems by understanding the relevant information of visitors, and at the same time comprehensively consider the characteristics, abilities, skills, interests and related environmental conditions of visitors, discuss feasible solutions with visitors, and promote the decision-making process of visitors.
[Case] Wen, female graduate student, majoring in Chinese language and literature, entered the education department of a normal university with enthusiasm for education. After half a year's schooling, she has read many educational classics and listened to some lectures on education, but she still can't find her interest in learning and can't determine her future research direction. She is still confused. I feel very confused. I don't know what I really like. Sometimes I feel that I like a certain research field, but I still can't find a feeling after studying for a while, and I am worried that I can't develop in this field, which is quickly denied by me. .
With the deepening of the interview, after understanding Wen's psychological troubles, under the guidance of the author, she told specific examples of her interest and learning tendency, she said? At first, I thought I liked educational philosophy, but after half a year, I still couldn't find my feelings and found a philosophical theory. Obscure? . Later, I read books on culture and listened to lectures in this field before I found a little comfortable feeling. But I am studying education now, and I really can't decide how to choose my future research direction. ?
Wen is confused about his choice. She used to study literature, but she chose education as her major. There are many kinds of educational methods, and the text is caught in the contradiction of no choice. In view of the problems faced by the article, the author mainly uses it in the consultation process. Decision consultation? Strategy: On the one hand, listen to her present story, worries and inner contradictions, on the other hand, listen to her detailed description of her own characteristics, and let her do psychological tests on her career interest and ability tendency. In addition, I also asked Wen about her current study, such as the teachers and curriculum in her department. Based on the above factors, I discussed and analyzed Wen * * *, and finally got the understanding that Wen tried to study a certain aspect of education from a cultural perspective, such as curriculum culture, teaching culture and teacher culture.
2.***
Empathy means that one person can see and experience the world like another. * * * Love is a humanist Carl? Rogers'? People-centered counseling? (People-centered consultation). Rogers believes that human life is a positive process of self-realization. This process may be disturbed by some internal and external factors, but the process of people's own life growth will not stop or be destroyed. Therefore, when the visitor is in trouble or frustrated in the process of growing up, the consultant only needs to pay attention to the visitor, pay attention to his or her meaning and feelings, treat things like a visitor, respect and understand the feelings of the visitor, and work with him to find potential meaning and strength, so that the visitor can better understand himself or herself and regain the strength of life.
[Case] Mei is a clever girl who has outstanding performance in her class and is often envied by people around her. However, for a while, she was depressed and came to consult the author. In the quiet corner of the school coffee shop, she told the author about her distress, love and friendship. In love, she and her boyfriend were undergraduate classmates, and now they haven't seen each other for several months. They often cause unhappiness, bitterness and resentment because of some misunderstandings, which makes Mei feel pain. ? We are all very strong people and always can't tolerate some things. Sometimes we want to break up, but where can we find the right boyfriend? The situation in normal universities is that there are more girls than boys, which makes me very contradictory. I can't get along well with my roommates at this stage. I'm used to staying up late, so I can calm down and write something at night. Roommates like to go to bed early and can't make any noise. I try my best to pay attention, but there will inevitably be times when she is not careful. As soon as she can't sleep well, she complains endlessly. Life is really bad now. ? Mei has a depressed face.
During the conversation with Mei, I found that she has a strong independent ability, but the tension with her boyfriend and the friction with her roommate have caused Mei's psychological loss and grievance. These negative factors are stuck in her heart and cannot be solved and vented. In this case, the author thinks that what Mei needs most now is a conversation that can be accepted by the audience. Therefore, in the talks, the author mainly focuses on the use of? People-oriented? * * * Emotional strategy, listening carefully most of the time, respecting Mei's views and emotions, and feeling with her without judging. At the same time, not blind? * * * Love? , also need to find mei from * * * in time? Positive advantage? Help her regain her confidence. In the process of consultation, the author found that Mei is a woman with? Self? Girls who tend to look at problems and deal with things often start from their own positions and emotions and pay less attention to the feelings of others, so the author tries to learn from them. * * * Love? From another angle, encourage her to be with someone else? * * * Love? , that is? Empathy? . The author puts forward two points: (1) When you get along with your boyfriend, will you actively communicate and solve problems together? (2) If you like going to bed early and your roommate is used to going to bed late, what do you want your roommate to do? A week later, the author saw Mei in high spirits again on campus.
3. Reflection on meaning
The reflection of meaning, its theory originated from Victor? Frankl's Meaning Therapy. For individuals, people live in the four dimensions of behavior, emotion, thought and meaning, which is an interactive and influential system. Once one dimension is confused, the other three are also affected, which in turn affects the confused dimension, thus affecting people's overall life. Each of us lives in some entities, such as family, culture, personal experience and so on, and we give these entities meaning at the same time. At the same time, these meanings will also be reflected in our lives. There are many people who are thinking, experiencing and acting for a certain meaning. Once the meaning goes wrong, these people often have psychological and behavioral changes. In the face of these people's consultation, what do I often use? Meaning reflection? As the main consulting strategy. Help tourists find one of their stories? Why? This is the driving force of tourists' life, helping them from? Too light or too heavy? Or? Meaning lost? Get rid of the predicament, regain the meaning of life or rebuild a new value system.
[Case] Juanzi is a diligent student. When he was admitted to a key normal university, Juanzi secretly decided to do something in the field of education and become an educator. After entering school for a period of time, her mind suffered an unprecedented impact. Most of her classmates have excellent grades and the employment situation is not optimistic. The present situation of education is like a huge rolling wheel. Standing next to this huge ship, there is a kind of? Nothing can be done. This feeling. She began to doubt her ideal. I feel so small, can I really realize my dream? Even if I realize my dream through hard work, what can I do for education?
Juanzi suddenly felt that struggle was meaningless, and learning suddenly became irrelevant. However, the hard-working and enterprising character does not allow her to do so? Doesn't matter? Therefore, she fell into deep remorse and inner struggle.
In the consultation with Juanzi, the author emphasized the use of? Meaning reflection? Strategy. The main reason why Juanzi is in trouble is that she has lost the meaning of life, which leads to mood swings. Therefore, it is necessary to help Juanzi rebuild her life value structure. In the process of consultation, the author suggested that Juanzi should treat the current educational situation dialectically from a historical perspective. After decades of development, China's education has undergone tremendous changes and achieved remarkable achievements, which are behind the efforts of countless people. A person's strength seems to be minimal, but the cohesive force is enormous, just like water droplets converge into streams, countless streams converge into rivers, and finally form a vast ocean. Then, Juanzi and I analyzed some examples in her daily life and study together, and pointed out their meanings. Through the conversation, Juanzi's face gradually became clear.
Just because the above psychological counseling strategies are described separately does not mean that they are isolated. In the practice of psychological counseling, various strategies and skills are often used together. Of course, the emphasis of different cases will be different. On the one hand, this article is discussed separately because of the need to write an article, on the other hand, it needs to be emphasized that in practice, consulting strategies should be flexibly selected according to the situation of different visitors.
Four. conclusion
The author hopes that this paper can provide some useful enlightenment to female graduate students, especially female normal students in Grade One of Senior High School, so as to improve their mental health awareness, further enhance their psychological adaptability and develop better. At the same time, I also hope that families, schools and society will pay more attention to the psychological confusion of female graduate students, seek effective ways and means to promote their better life and study, and make due contributions to education and other fields.
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