alley
It's curved and long.
There is no door
There are no windows.
I took an old key.
Knocking on the thick wall
-Focus on the city.
Anxiety is difficult to describe, and there are many professional definitions. We can have a brief understanding of its basic state. It is a particularly subjective feeling, which basically points to a kind of worry about the future, a kind of tension and fear about an uncertain thing.
It is good for people in light situations, such as common exam anxiety. Because of the coming exam, I am not sure whether I can pass it, so I will have some nervous emotional experiences. In order to relieve such nervousness, I will study harder for the exam, which is beneficial to some extent.
But in serious cases, it is not. It'll drive people crazy. This feeling of tension is beyond their capacity and lasts for a long time. And there will be physical reactions, such as sweaty palms, tight scalp, stiff limbs and rapid heartbeat. In more serious cases, convulsions, panic attacks, coma and near-death experiences may occur.
What I want to talk about today is a generalized state of anxiety, which is basically a state of anxiety. I'm not sure if I can cope with some things in the future, and I don't even know why I am anxious and impetuous. I can't concentrate on what I do. I can't concentrate on one thing. Then he became grumpy, angry at a little thing, and regretted it afterwards. I am so confused about the future that I can't keep doing things.
Do you have the above performance? I don't know what to do to be more efficient, to be quiet, to be less anxious and angry, but I can't find a way to make my anxious heart have a place to rely on.
When a person has too many things in his mind, he will lose himself and feel anxious.
I did a good job in my old job, too. Why didn't I behave well and then resigned hastily?
Although the original business is far from making a fortune, it can basically maintain a medium level. If it didn't give up, it is basically doing well now.
Once we were such good friends, he broke up with me without a word. Friendship is really unreliable.
In fact, my ex-girlfriend is really good to me, but I am too demanding and I haven't cherished it, so I haven't found a suitable one yet.
I still have a lot of things to do, and I really don't have enough time, but I put it off again and again, and maybe I can start doing it in a few days.
I want to learn to get a certificate. There is a good project I can consider. Recently, the child has always been naughty. I need to talk to him. The tasks assigned by the leaders are also very important. Should I join our outdoor club activities? I need to travel with my family recently. The furniture at home needs changing. ...
These things are like weeds in a wheat field. I can't count them. I think everything is important, but it is not what I want. I want to save or plan, but my heart is so big. Can I hold such weeds?
You have too many things to do and obviously not enough time. You don't even know what to do first or let yourself not think, so it's inevitable to get angry in a hurry.
In fact, there are so many things in your mind that you really want to do well.
You keep everything in your heart because your heart is empty.
Just like A Fei in Du Qifeng's bullets, every time he meets a major task or faces a contest, he always eats a lot until he is full and even vomits.
When you don't have a path you like to take, it's as if you don't have a trustworthy belief. You will like to fill your heart with many things.
When the stomach is full, people usually feel dizzy. If they want to go to sleep or have a rest, they will have a temporary satisfaction when their hearts are filled, and they will not think about what they really want.
So even if you eat enough, you still can't enjoy that kind of food.
A heart full of weeds is not firm, because these weeds are not what you want, and they also block your desire for what you want.
If you want something but you can't get it, you will inevitably be angry and anxious.
Your anxiety also stems from too much fantasy and too little action.
Fantasy is the best tool for people to satisfy themselves. Both alcoholism and drug abuse can make the brain into hallucinations. This is your own world, and all external systems can't bind you. You can wander freely in your own world. I have met many people who ask for help. Their way of satisfying themselves is fantasy. They are unable to solve the setbacks and failures in reality, and they are unable to deal with and solve the problems of their partners' cheating, children's dropping out of school and unemployment.
Or fantasize that you will earn millions or tens of millions one day, or think that bad things will pass, or plan a lot and be thorough, and so on.
This fantasy is a way to escape from yourself. It will keep you away from action and reduce your efforts, but it can still play a psychological soothing role.
Like a baby. When he is hungry, his mother is often absent, and then he will start putting his thumb in his mouth. At that time, he had been sucking sweet milk with relish in his fantasy. The baby satisfied himself with fantasy, and he really felt satisfied.
Like every match the little match girl wears.
This time is not only an escape, but also a kind of self-protection, because if there is no such fantasy, I will really disappear and die.
And this fantasy is like every plan in reality. There is a saying that "don't make too many promises every spring, and then bear the sin of betrayal in the rest of the season".
The thoroughness of planning is similar to the expression of fantasy. When an idea is often expressed, people will feel that they are already doing it, just like a hint, which will really reduce the actual action, and the external performance is procrastination and laziness.
When you really want to do it and your heart slows you down, there will be conflicts, just a sense of self-blame, anxiety and procrastination.
Another manifestation of anxiety is that it is too easily influenced by others, that is, comparing with others.
Your deskmate has made faster progress than you, your colleagues are often praised by leaders, earning more money than you, and people around you have cars, houses and talents. You have thought about things for a month and got it done in one day, and you are still struggling for a living. People have already moved into the villa in a luxury car, and your husband is always quarreling with you after work every day. Her husband can earn money and have time to spend with him, and he can also take her abroad for a holiday. ...
Comparison is a self-mutilation knife that confuses the boundaries between yourself and others.
Boundaries mean clarity and independence. When you always go deep into another person's field, you break through the boundary, break through the boundary of others, and lose a part of your boundary, which is equivalent to forcing yourself to be a part of others, and it's not what you like. You just hold it, whether it matches or not.
In this way, you can't digest it, because you don't know how others digest it. It must be unbearable for you to digest other people's hearts with your own. In such a comparison, you consume your energy, and consumption will make a person weak. It's like you stipulate that you must jog 10 km. If you run 5 kilometers in someone else's place, it's complete consumption. You don't have the strength to run your own way, only anxiety and nervousness.
These old things, these trivial things, these hollowness, these fantasies, these delays, these comparisons are all feelings of inferiority and low self-worth that you can't perceive. It's all weeds in your soul garden, which makes you look back, overwhelmed and anxious.
It's time to prune your weeds, empty your mind and let it have your own pure land. If you persist in doing one thing and loving someone in your life, you won't be anxious, because there is enough space and value for you to survive. (Bing Wang)
Note: This article was edited by Wang Renyuan Family Education Studio. "Wang Renyuan Family Education Studio" takes it as its duty to publicize advanced family education concepts, hold free public lectures on family education guidance, provide family education consultation, transmit positive energy and spread excellent culture. More exciting, please collect and pay attention to Wang Renyuan Family Education Studio. Search for "Teacher Education and Training Speech Wang Renyuan" on Youku to get relevant videos.