A way to persuade others
First, adjust the atmosphere to retreat for progress.
When persuading, we should first try to adjust the atmosphere of the conversation. If you kindly replace orders with questions and give people a chance to maintain self-esteem and honor, the atmosphere will be friendly and harmonious, and persuasion will be easy to succeed; On the other hand, if you don't respect others and show a domineering attitude, then persuasion is likely to fail. After all, people have self-esteem, even three-year-old children have their self-esteem, and no one wants to be easily persuaded and dominated by others.
A middle school teacher took over the job of a poor class teacher, just as the school arranged for all classes of students to take part in leveling the playground. The students in this class are hiding in the shade, and no one can work. What the teacher said is useless. Later, the teacher thought of a way to retreat. He asked the students: I know you are not afraid of work, but you are all afraid of heat, right? None of my classmates want to say that they are lazy, but they all say that it is really because the weather is too hot. The teacher said: in that case, we will wait until the sun goes down, and now we can have a good time. ? The students are very happy to hear it. In order to make the atmosphere more lively, the teacher also bought dozens of ice creams to relieve the heat for everyone. In the fun of talking and laughing, the students accepted the teacher's persuasion and began to work happily before sunset.
Second, strive for sympathy and overcome the strong with the weak.
It is human nature to yearn for sympathy. If you want to convince a stronger opponent, you might as well use this skill to gain sympathy, so as to defeat the weak and achieve your goal.
There is a mountain girl 15 years old who was unfortunately trafficked to Shanghai for prostitution. That night, it was raining and the little girl's door opened. A middle-aged Shanghai? Allah? Come in. The little girl's heart beat to her throat. However, she quickly calmed down and called out tactfully: Uncle! ? Middle age? Allah? People are stunned and seem to be enchanted. The little girl said cautiously, I can see that your uncle is a good man. Your age is similar to my father's, but my father is much more bitter than you. He farmed in the countryside. When transplanting rice last year, he suffered from heatstroke and burst into tears. ? Allah? He blushed, remained silent for a while and whispered, Thank you, little girl. ? Then he opened the door and left. Facing the strong? Allah? Why not make yourself look weaker to arouse his sympathy? That's what the clever little girl did. A word? Uncle? , suddenly opened the age distance between two people, let? Allah? I can't help thinking of the children who are also in the flower season. The seeds of sympathy began to sprout in his heart. And then the little girl immediately put one on him? Good people? Hat, induce his psychological trend? Good people? Standard alignment. Use? My dad? And then what? Allah? Contrast, further strengthen? Allah? Compassion.
Third, the threat of goodwill is accompanied by a rigid system.
Many people know that threats can enhance persuasion, and they also use threats from time to time. This is a kind of skill to make the other person feel fear with well-intentioned threats, so as to achieve the purpose of persuasion. In a group activity, when everyone arrived at the hotel booked in advance, they were told that there was no hot water in the originally booked suite (with separate bathroom) because of work mistakes that night. For this matter, the tour leader made an appointment with the hotel manager.
Team leader: I'm sorry to invite you home so late. But everyone is covered in sweat. How can you not take a shower? Besides, we agreed to supply hot water when we made the reservation! This matter can only be solved by you. Manager: No way. The boiler man went home. He forgot to drain the water. I have asked them to open the collective bathroom. You can go and wash. Leader: Yes, we can all take a bath in the collective bathroom, but make it clear. One suite, 50 yuan, with a separate bathroom for one night. Taking a bath in the collective bathroom now is equivalent to lowering to the level of uniform bedding, which can only be paid per person 15 yuan according to the standard of uniform bedding.
Manager: That won't work, that won't work!
Guide: There is only hot water in the bathroom of the suite.
Manager: I have no choice.
Team leader: You have an idea!
Manager: What do you suggest?
Team leader: You have two ways: one is to call back the boiler worker who has failed in his duty; Second, you can carry two buckets of hot water for each room. Of course, I will cooperate with you to convince everyone to wait patiently. As a result of this negotiation, the manager sent someone to retrieve the boiler worker, and after 40 minutes, there was hot water in the bathroom of each suite. Threats can enhance persuasiveness, but in specific applications, we should pay attention to the following points: First, friendliness. Second, explain the consequences and the truth. Third, the threat should not be excessive, otherwise it will be self-defeating.
Fourth, eliminate prevention and make it emotional.
Generally speaking, when you compete with the person you want to convince, you will have a sense of prevention, especially in times of crisis. At this time, if you want to persuade successfully, you should pay attention to eliminating the defensive psychology of the other side. How to eliminate preventive psychology? Subconsciously speaking, preventive psychology is a kind of self-defense, that is, when people regard each other as imaginary enemies, the most effective way to eliminate preventive psychology is to give hints repeatedly, indicating that they are friends rather than enemies. This hint can be expressed in many ways: caring for others, showing concern, showing willingness to help, and so on. ?
There is one? Sister? (Taxi driver) When sending a young man to the designated place, the other party took out a sharp knife and forced her to hand over all the money. She pretended to be afraid and gave the gangster 300 Qian Yuan. That's all I earned today. If it is too little, I will give you the change. ? Say that finish and take out 20 yuan to find pocket money. Goodbye? Sister? So Frank, the gangster was a little shocked. ? Sister? Take the opportunity to say: where do you live? Let me take you home. It's so late, the family should be in a hurry. ? Goodbye? Sister? A woman didn't resist, so the gangster put the knife away and let it go. Sister? Take him to the train station. See the atmosphere eased? Sister? Lose no time to inspire gangsters: my family used to be difficult, and we didn't have any skills. Later, I learned to drive from others and started this business. Although I don't earn much money, I have a good life. Besides, self-reliance, who can laugh at me if I am poor! ? See the gangster silent? Sister? Then he said, alas, people have sound limbs, and there is nothing worse than doing one thing. He walked all his life and this road was ruined. ? When you get to the railway station, get off when you see the gangster. Sister? Say it again: Even if my money helps you, use it to do something serious and stop doing such shameful things. ? The gangster who has been silent suddenly cried and sent more than 300 yuan? Sister? Put a plug in your hand and say, Sister, I won't do it if I starve to death. ? Say that finish, low head away. In this case? Sister? It is typical to use the skills of eliminating defensive psychology to finally achieve the purpose of persuasion.
Fifth, do what you like and change your heart with your heart.
Analyzing problems from the standpoint of others can give others a feeling of thinking for them, and this skill of doing what they like is often very convincing. To do this, know yourself and yourself? It is very important to know each other first, and then consider the problem from each other's standpoint.
A precision machinery factory produces a new product and entrusts some parts to a small factory for manufacturing. When the small factory presents the semi-finished parts to the general factory, it does not meet the requirements of the factory. Due to the emergency, the person in charge of the general factory had to make it re-manufactured as soon as possible, but the person in charge of the small factory thought that it was completely manufactured according to the specifications of the general factory and did not want to re-manufacture, and the two sides were deadlocked for a long time. After seeing this situation, the director of the general factory asked the reason clearly, and said to the person in charge of the small factory, I think this incident is completely due to the poor design of the company, which has caused you losses. I'm really sorry. Thanks to your help today, we found such shortcomings. It's just that things have to be done now. You might as well make it more perfect, which is good for both of us. ? The person in charge of the small factory readily agreed.
Sixth, seek consistency and make up for the shortcomings.
People who are used to stubbornly refusing other people's persuasion are often there? No? In the state of psychological organization, it will naturally present a stiff expression and posture. To deal with this kind of person, ask questions from the beginning, and you must not break him? No? Psychology. Therefore, you have to try to find the same place as the other party, first let the other party agree with your opinions that are far from the topic, make them interested in your words, then try to introduce your ideas into the topic, and finally get the other party's consent. There was a young man who stubbornly fell in love with a businessman's daughter, but the girl always refused to look him in the eye because he was a funny camel.
Improve oral expression ability
First, study hard and master relevant knowledge. Eloquence is not enough. Don't you see those glib people? Smart wife? Although you can talk, you can't get it? Elegant hall? . Excellent oral expression ability is actually determined by a variety of internal qualities, which require a cool head, agile thinking, superhuman wisdom, profound knowledge and certain cultural literacy. To this end, we can study relevant theories, knowledge and experience hard. Such as learning oratory, logic, argumentative writing, philosophy, sociology, psychology and so on.
The second is to study hard and master the corresponding skills and skills. For example, in lectures and speeches, we should: (1) be fully prepared, write a speech, and don't follow the book; (2) People with emotions are full of confidence and passion; (3) Convince people by reasoning, take a clear-cut stand, have a clear viewpoint, enrich the content and have sufficient arguments; (4) Pay attention to generalization and try to convey the maximum amount of information in concise language; (5) Coordinate with nature and help to speak properly with gestures, actions, eyes and expressions; (six) accurate expression, clear articulation, moderate volume, high and low tone, clear rhythm, clear priorities, cadence; (7) humorous and vivid. Appropriate use of rhetorical methods such as rhetorical questions, metaphors, parallelism, proverbs, two-part allegorical sayings and allusions. Make the language humorous, vivid and interesting; (eight) respect others, understand the needs of the listener, respect the personality of the listener, put yourself in the listener's shoes, treat people with courtesy, pay attention to the audience's reaction, and adjust your speech in time.
Third, actively participate in various activities that can enhance oral expression ability. Such as lectures, debates, class meetings, seminars, literary evenings, street publicity, information consultation and other activities. Talk more and practice more. What teachers say in class or learn from books, say it in their own words as much as possible, which also helps to improve their oral expression ability. To exercise oral expression ability, we should have the spirit of hard work and perseverance. As long as we study hard, practice boldly and be good at summarizing and improving in time, our oral expression ability will be improved continuously. How should I improve my writing ability? The ability of written expression, like oral expression, is a tool for people to exchange ideas and express their thoughts, and a weapon for learning their major well and achieving their career. For college students, if they lack writing ability, they can't write or can't write well reading notes, work summaries, experimental reports, especially graduation papers. And they can't say that they have learned their major well, which will even affect their career and future.