A Feng was confused from the beginning, and the next scene can only be described as chaos. Feng began to stare at Keiko, and time seemed to stand still. After that, A Feng seemed to be crazy, banging his head against the wall and muttering, "It turned out to be true, how could you!" "
Keiko reacted and hurried to La Afeng: "Didn't you say you confessed, so you went!"
Feng thrust Keiko away and turned to look at Keiko again. His left forehead was beaten red and purple, his eyes were wide open, and tears kept overflowing from the corners of his eyes. Keiko was scared silly until she heard the sound of the door hitting the door frame.
Unexpectedly, the frank result is that A Feng ran away from home. Keiko didn't even think that Feng, as calm and tolerant as her father, would have such a fragile and helpless moment to abandon her.
The next day, Keiko received the divorce agreement. Only then did she begin to realize the seriousness of her affair. In her opinion, cheating is certainly wrong, but it should not have any serious consequences for their marriage.
Keiko panicked and contacted me: "Teacher, what do you think I should do? Does he really want to divorce me? " Is there any way to fix it? I think he just wants to divorce me. Why else would he give me the divorce papers? Teacher, do you think I can only sign the agreement now? "
After I learned the ins and outs of the matter, I gave her three pieces of advice:
1. See the hurt your husband has suffered and the frustration you have brought him;
2. Accept your husband's emotions, don't complain that he has emotions, not to mention how he reacted so much. If a man knows that his wife has no mood after cheating, that is the most terrible;
Don't discuss with your husband that "you both cheated, so he should forgive you", let alone explain to him why you cheated, which will not help to repair the relationship.
A month later, Keiko found me again. In a month, she lost ten pounds and the whole portrait was gone. She said that she cried at home every day and repeatedly told me the word "impossible".
"Is he determined to leave you?"
"It's not like that. I said I didn't agree, and he didn't mention divorce again, just didn't go home. "
"So what did you do for him this month? Let him go home. "
"I sent him a WeChat and he didn't reply to me."
"What did you say on WeChat?"
"Say I don't agree with the divorce and ask him when he will go home."
"Have you ever thought that you can say something you care about or do something to make him feel your love and care for him?"
"I don't know. I don't think he can go home no matter what I do. Yes, it is impossible. "
……
During the conversation, I found that Keiko has always relied on Afeng, and Afeng has always been paying after marriage.
Even though Feng has moved out now, Keiko still lives in Feng's house and spends Feng's money.
A Feng raised her like a father and tolerated her everywhere. If she doesn't want to work, she won't work. She wants to go out to work for a few days on a whim, and it doesn't matter if she doesn't cook after marriage. She doesn't have a good relationship with her mother-in-law, and A Feng doesn't say anything.
It is precisely because of Keiko's dependence on Afeng that Afeng thinks Keiko can't cheat without him. So, he heard from relatives and friends that Keiko might cheat, but he didn't believe it at all.
For Keiko, under Feng's care, she is still like a little girl in her forties. "Cheating" seemed to her as if Feng was too busy to accompany her, so she went to find someone else to play.
She didn't realize how devastating this was to her marriage, and even blamed A Feng for not playing the role of a "good father" and not tolerating her as always.
There was a popular chicken soup that said that if you get married, you will marry someone like your father. Many people think that a good partner is a person who will always play the role of father or mother, and he will always be a protected child.
But in marriage, such a single model can hardly make the marriage relationship happy.
Marriage is not just the union of a man and a woman who love each other. They should at least play three roles: parents and children, friends and lovers. If there is only one model for a long time, marriage will not last long.
Just like the relationship between Keiko and A Feng, Keiko will always be a wayward little girl. She can only take, not give, not express. She didn't tell A Feng to accompany her, but went directly to find someone else.
Even more frightening is that Keiko can only play the role of "child". When the marriage goes wrong, she has no ability to deal with it, let alone recover and repair it. In her opinion, she can only wait for a divorce.
Because she never thought about her life, where is her value and advantage. The company and love of others made her feel her own value. No one will refuse this feeling.
It is like planting an oasis in the desert. Besides water, you need seeds. To Keiko, her heart is a desert. Finding someone to accompany her is like finding water. The difference is that she has never planted the seeds of "confidence" and "value" in her heart.
Therefore, no amount of water can irrigate this oasis. Her life, like her attitude towards herself, doesn't need or want to do anything, just wait. Waiting for Feng to tolerate her, take care of her and wait for others to decide her life. Even her two infidelities ended with each other.
In marriage, we can completely play the role of "children", which is also an opportunity for our wounds to heal.
But there are some moments when we need to fight side by side, face the problems of life together, give each other strength, listen to each other's troubles and talk like friends; There are other moments when we need emotional appeal, romance, sour love words and hormone fermentation.
For Keiko, only by planting this seed called "confidence" can she grow up and play the role of "friend" and "lover".
After the consultation, Keiko and her husband still separated. But Keiko began to slowly try to do something to change the status quo, such as learning to express her feelings to her husband, especially her care and love.
Two days ago, Keiko told me that she bought some new clothes for her husband. According to her previous habit, she must have said, I bought you some clothes. You can have them or not. But this time she changed. She said, "I bought you some clothes. Do you think it is convenient to send them to you? "
After communicating with her husband, she sent it to her mother-in-law. After she got it, her husband specially told her that it looked good. She is also very happy after seeing WeChat, because the seeds of self-confidence are planted bit by bit: if you try to change, others will tell you, take a look and do it, and you will get a response. I believe Keiko will become more confident if she is given more time. I think she has found a way to make herself really happy.
When a woman is faced with "What should I do if my husband cheats?" In fact, there are only two options for such a problem-divorce or redemption. The divorce rate remains high in today's society, but can we be happy after divorce? The answer is no, so when there is a problem in marriage, don't divorce easily on impulse.
Then if you choose not to divorce, save your family, mend the rift, or even live a happier life, you need professional help and consultation. In order to help women save their marriage, Sister Tucki created "How to effectively save an derailed partner" in today's headlines. The "circle" is convenient for everyone to discuss and leave a message for consultation at any time.
How to effectively save your partner from cheating? Circle owner: Zhou Xiaopeng 1 1 Members enter the circle.