0 1, emotional needs are not met.
In the wedding smoke, many women's emotional needs are not met, because men are unable to see such needs and understand women. What a woman wants is nothing more than being seen and connected to her partner's love. But do men need this connection and need to be seen? The answer is yes, but most women don't. Why don't men want to go home and run away when they are alive? When accusing a man of not loving himself, the sense of need will become stronger and stronger, so that the other person will only feel pressured. At this point, they will only feel: "Women are really troublesome, just listen?"
The way a woman seeks love is to pester a person to chat and talk: let the other person pay; The way to give love is to be kind to a person and take care of each other. However, for men, such needs can also be met by nannies.
02. Why don't men need love?
Men actually don't need the love of a woman's nanny. Meticulous care, he will enjoy it at first, but after a long time, he will only think that women care too much. Compared with women's love, men need space more, rather than pestering for emotional value. Giving love, the understanding of men and women is biased. Everyone loves each other in their own way, but what they often give is not what they want. Women think that men want the same love as themselves, stick together and share, and think of me all the time? Do you still love me ? Why didn't you contact me today?
Why is he not interested in me? In fact, many avoidant men prefer to keep their private space after entering the wedding smoke, and they don't want to be too close to their wives. At this time, women often go crazy, feel that their emotional needs are not met, think that they are ungrateful for their own efforts, and often suffer from cold violence. But even if a boy is in love, it is only a short-term love. Only during this time will I try to satisfy my partner. After this strength, they will demand private space and more sense of boundary. Most men's emotions are late and rough. They are the people who pursued enthusiastically at the beginning, and they are also the people who are getting cold.
03. Men need women to obey.
Men who are afraid of their wives are a minority after all. In the relationship between men and women, men will unconsciously pursue the relationship between power and learning control to gain a sense of security, so men will expect women to obey. They even think that no matter what they pay for the family, they hope that a family can worry. A woman competes with a man every day, singing the devil's advocate, giving orders and refuting accusations, and a man will not suffer for long. Because men need face and the right to speak.
Therefore, they hope to have an innocent girl's partner, which can make them have a sense of existence and make them feel valuable and powerful. Being superior to men, or obeying men like mothers, will make them weak and make them not believe in their viability. Slowly, he developed into such a role. Power is robbed. When a woman who feels power appears, she may come out.
04. Men's love is always good.
I have seen a male colleague's circle of friends always basking in his wife and children, exaggerating his love, which is very high-profile, but at the same time he is a henpecked wife. Later, his wife caught him in bed, and there was an illegitimate child outside. Maybe I was afraid to bask in my wife and children every day before, but I covered up my fear with show of love. I have experienced the feeling of being a man outside, and obeying at home will make them live very depressed; People often ask, "Will men be with people they don't love? Most will. They are more concerned about the actual needs, as long as they can solve the needs. Therefore, many men marry women they don't love.
They don't pay much attention to the need to be loved, just meet the requirements. They will think that the essence of wedding smoke is cooperation, which is different from resisting risks and love. Some people, after more or less emotional experience, find that love will eventually disappear, so they make do; Some people are not so lucky when they meet love, so just make do. Their ideals are not here at all, but more in their careers, self-realization and even entertainment games.
05. Support mutual understanding.
Therefore, women should not over-beautify love and exaggerate the role of love in life. What an individual wants to achieve is not to witness the success and value of life by forming an intimate relationship with another person, nor to pin his personal value on it. But this doesn't mean that we don't need marriage cigarettes or intimate relationships, but we should take what we need and give it a try. If you don't expect anything in return, you won't pay too much.
So, what should be done specifically? Supporting each other and understanding each other is more about giving each other space to face things within their responsibilities. We just need to give him understanding and support behind his back. We pay within the range that we have a surplus and can bear, and we don't ask for anything in return, so as not to put pressure on each other. When two people are together, they are still responsible for the problems in life, because we will eventually find that intimacy means walking together and taking different roads.
06. Give each other space
Excessive pay often hides deep expectations, which is equivalent to letting your life and energy pin your hopes on each other. In this way, you will be disappointed, and you will accuse the other party of not meeting your expectations by accusing and belittling. Simple support and understanding need not be laborious, and there is no need to ask for returns from each other. This not only maintains independence, but also has no internal friction, and the other party feels mentally supported. This is the value given by intimacy.
There is absolutely no need to wait around like an old maid, consuming you and making you angry. Girls misunderstand that giving each other space is passive waiting, and when the other party calls, they will lick the dog as a spare tire. Giving each other space is actually giving yourself space. First of all, you should have the ability of spiritual independence, pursue the need of freedom, and create relationships for your own reasons.
07. Keep your personality independent
We can send messages on our own initiative, but we don't expect the other party not to reply. We can take the initiative to love someone, but we won't put our expectations on whether the other person loves us or not. Because there is no expectation and no dependence, you can love or leave. Make sure you are completely free and responsible for building your own life, and so is the other person, so there is no sense of oppression, no forcing cows to drink water and complain. Sometimes letting others go is also letting yourself go. Can rely on, but will not be controlled, no greed; Without greed, you won't be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and the other party will leave, and you will always be stable in your feelings.
Although there are occasional fluctuations, I can quickly perceive my emotions and persistence and return to a stable state. This is also the practice in intimate relationships. Although it is difficult to do this, the most important core is to establish a self-based relationship to create life, and not to overdraw what you can't afford. It is still very important to love with equality and quality, to maintain the independence of personality and to defend ourselves for both sides.