"A spiritual book that everyone can read and benefit from."
After reading it, I want to say: this sentence is correct.
Do you have such confusion:
1, after marriage, the lover is not as perfect as when he is in love;
2. I don't know what to do with my child's problems;
3. Parents look too carefully or neglect to take care of them and don't know what to do;
4. I have paid so much, but my relatives and friends around me don't buy it;
5. I lost the most important person in my heart and couldn't face life;
6. I have been deeply hurt and it is difficult to trust anyone;
7. I look forward to changing the status quo, but my heart is full of fear;
8. I have faith, or I have no faith and am laughed at;
……
Simply list, just want you to know: you can find answers to almost all the problems in your life about family, feelings, work, friends. This is a popular psychology book about self-growth, which enables you to handle the relationship with others.
After the publication of Few People Walk, it did not do any commercial promotion, but it became the best seller list in the United States in a very short time, creating a miracle in the publishing history for 20 consecutive years. Scott parker himself is therefore regarded as the most outstanding psychologist of our time. After he became famous, he began to give speeches everywhere to expand the influence of his psychological counseling.
Nevertheless, scott parker also faced many problems: for example, he smoked and drank too much, alienated from his children, and had an affair ... scott parker divorced one year before his death, and finally died of pancreatic cancer (in 2005). Perhaps, the writer's own experience further proves that mental maturity is indeed a "road that few people take" because it is so difficult that even the author himself can't fully practice it.
"Life is full of hardships"-scott parker tells the essence of life at the beginning of this book: as long as people live, they will face all kinds of problems. The key to solving life problems lies in self-discipline, and the power of self-discipline comes from love-as long as we have love in our hearts, maintain self-discipline and face life problems with an open mind, we will gain spiritual maturity and touch the true meaning of life.
Psychology books are inevitably boring because of their strong professionalism, but scott parker makes this book very readable through two points: he seldom uses professional vocabulary and is close to readers' real cases. The book The Road Few People Walk seems to be a key, and the author uses it to open the door of psychology for us. When reading this book, we can often put ourselves or people around us in the right position, making reading itself more interesting and practical-we will suddenly clap our thighs and suddenly realize, "Ah, that's what TA thinks!"
The book The Road Less Traveled is divided into four parts. Let me give you a brief introduction:
The so-called self-discipline means "actively asking yourself to suffer and solving problems with a positive attitude." In order to realize self-discipline, scott parker put forward four principles: delaying satisfaction, taking responsibility, being loyal to facts and keeping balance.
The introduction of a large number of grounded gas cases will give readers a new understanding of procrastination that everyone has, find a methodology for how to cultivate children's good habits from an early age, find a psychological basis for those who become paranoid and indifferent after being hit, understand some common psychological terms, such as neurosis, personality disorder, empathy, etc., and make a small diagnosis for themselves in reading.
The interpretation of psychology seems to clear the fog in front of us, let us see the essence behind the phenomenon, and suddenly feel enlightened.
But these four principles are really difficult to put into practice. In particular, maintaining balance "is to establish a flexible restraint mechanism", which is actually a general principle to grasp the first three points-there must always be a degree in everything, and you can't overdo it.
It is not easy to face problems, but it is more painful to solve problems and achieve self-discipline. It is human nature to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. Why can people be self-disciplined? Scott parker explained the reason: Love is the driving force of self-discipline.
Here, the author has a point that may break your glasses-falling in love is not love! The reason is that people in love are immersed in a perfect illusion created by themselves. This is undoubtedly a blow to the people I love most. But at the same time, the author also emphasizes the importance of falling in love, which can make people dare to promise when they enter the marriage hall in the future, and strive to get true love for this promise.
Therefore, marriage may really be the grave of love, but it is the beginning of love-an excellent opportunity for a person to support each other and spend the rest of his life together after returning to reason.
If you also encounter problems in sexual relations, you should read this part carefully. By comparing the cases in the book with the author's explanation, I can find a lasting prescription for my love.
In addition, the author also tells readers how to love and the price paid for love through a large number of cases ... These cases involve unavoidable problems in a wide range of life, such as: listening to children's chatter, how to face the death of their loved ones, how to be responsible for their own choices, how to face external injuries, how to criticize and blame, how to remain independent in love relationships, how to respect each other's independence, love and sex, and the psychological roots of masochism. ..
Scott parker emphasized that "true love is not simply giving, but also includes appropriate refusal, timely fault, appropriate criticism, appropriate argument, necessary encouragement, gentle comfort and effective urging."
Although the author has made a lot of exposition on love and how to love, he still admits that the mystery of love cannot be fully understood with our existing knowledge, so he inevitably leads to the topic of religion.
If this book subverts my previous cognition, it must be the author's analysis of trust.
"Everyone has their own beliefs, and the knowledge and understanding of life belongs to the category of beliefs."
As the author said: "Usually, our definition of faith is too narrow. We believe that having a certain belief means believing in gods, joining believers' organizations and holding certain religious ceremonies. If a person never goes to church and doesn't believe in supernatural gods, we will think that he has no faith. "
Therefore, don't say that China people have no faith in the future. As long as we can keep learning under the tempering of life, break through the boundaries of self and establish correct experience and cognition, it is the most suitable belief for us. It has nothing to do with whether you believe in a certain religion or not.
The author also used three cases to tell the story, questioning the help that religion and identity religion bring to different people's growth, so as to show that whether you are a theist or an atheist, it is good to choose according to your cognition!
When it comes to faith, it is inevitable to talk about science. The author thinks that we should have a scientific attitude first, because science can help us understand the world. But at the same time, we should be aware of the limitations of science and don't splash baby with bath water. For the mysterious phenomenon that science can't explain, the author calls it grace. He advocates that we embrace these grace wholeheartedly and regard it as a gift from heaven.
This part is very interesting, because scott parker told many amazing things, his own and the patient's. These miraculous experiences make us deeply aware of the limitations of human beings and unconsciously fear the world we live in. While reading, I also remembered some magical things I encountered, and the reading process was very enjoyable. For example, I have many premonitions that what happened a few minutes later, my friend's previous dream actually came true!
For the time being, the author calls this invisible existence independent of our consciousness "God". Since God is secretly helping us to grow mentally, what reason do we have not to work hard for the evolution of mankind? Although this is a road full of obstacles, we need to constantly break through ourselves to explore.
The last two parts of the road that few people take are very important. Although they are all derived from the discussion of love, scott parker constantly reminds us in these two parts that we should never treat this incident with an either-or, black-and-white attitude, and profoundly analyzes the biggest obstacle to human mental maturity-laziness from the perspective of biological evolution. In order to overcome this innate evil, people must make greater efforts and move towards the road of mental maturity, which may be the reason why this book is called "The Road Few People Walk". ?
The book "The Road Few People Walk" is rich in case introduction and information, and readers will have a strong sense of bringing it in when reading. Unconsciously, they will follow the author to analyze the puzzles in life one by one, and sometimes they will be suddenly enlightened and understand the reasons, and sometimes they will laugh. It turns out that everyone has this experience.
Although, we may not be able to look at the world with compassion like the author, nor can we always be self-disciplined and selfless like the author said, and embark on the hard and lonely road that few people take. But we can at least learn to think like psychologists, look at ourselves and others from the perspective of a bystander, live with self-discipline driven by the love in our hearts, constantly revise our cognition, embrace the gifts given by God at any time, and embark on a smoother and clearer life path!