I carefully analyzed the remarried people I interviewed before, and found that after divorce, six situations are possible to get back together. Of course, in these six situations, we must first rule out those cases where the husband and wife agree to leave for a period of time and then remarry, so I won't say it here.
But you must pay attention-if your partner talks to you about "leaving for a while before getting married", be careful! Last year, I met an old sister. She married a man seven or eight years older than him and gave birth to a child. She takes care of the children in her hometown and her husband is in Beijing. Her husband just negotiated a "fake divorce" with her, and the fake divorce soon became a real divorce. Later, she found out that she had been cheated and married another woman immediately after leaving others. This elder sister is a graduate of Peking University.
Well, let's look at those situations where it is possible to remarry after divorce.
Impulsive divorce, which does not involve the issue of principle.
This often happens between many young couples. For example, when two people just got married, the girl suddenly felt very lost. Boys don't care about her as soon as they get married, and often don't return messages or go home. In a rage, he wanted a divorce.
People say that marriage is not a joke, but in these couples, marriage is a bit like a joke. But you can't say this woman is unreasonable-she's really upset. The man doesn't think there is any problem, he can't communicate, he feels that he is still young, he is not worried about running away from home, and he wants to leave quickly.
But after the divorce, he found himself too impulsive, and the man saved it. The two men were not really broken, so they pestered each other and remarried.
Divorce because of some incorrigible bad habits
Just like my little aunt, when she first married my little brother, they were particularly loving. But after a few years of marriage, she was addicted to playing mahjong, and sometimes she had to get up in the middle of the night to play mahjong. The husband and wife don't quarrel, and she still can't change when she talks to her relatives and elders. Later, my little brother filed for divorce.
After a few months, menstruation found that he had really done something wrong and could not let go of his two children, so he made up again.
But my cousin is not like this. He has been drinking and has become a "wine string skin". It's been almost ten years, and he has written all kinds of guarantees, but it's still useless. He is also a heavy drinker, and he can't walk steadily without drinking. Sister-in-law wants a divorce, and there is no one who does not support it.
After the divorce, my cousin didn't repent, and there was nothing we could do. After more than two years of divorce, my sister-in-law lives alone with her youngest son, and there is no sign of remarriage.
Generally speaking, this type of remarriage is based on the premise that the party with bad habits has completely got rid of bad habits-but this does not guarantee that you can remarry after you change it. After all, the most important thing to maintain a relationship is feelings-people are indifferent to you, disappointed and indifferent, and it doesn't matter if you get better. You may even be with someone else soon after the divorce, and it's no use getting better.
So, don't get into bad habits and indulge in anything that hurts the feelings of husband and wife (mahjong, games, etc. Once the other person is extremely disappointed in you, it is difficult to rebuild confidence and trust, let alone rebuild feelings.
Wrong divorce, the other party is willing to forgive.
For example, when the news is known, it is almost unbearable for the other half, especially for men.
Generally, as long as the wife cheats, it is difficult for men to forgive, and they will basically divorce. If the husband cheats, some women will choose the content of marriage according to the situation. Of course, some people will choose to divorce.
After divorce, the wrongdoer apologizes and repents, and the divorcee gradually relents and forgives, and may make up.
According to relevant statistics, 50.3% of divorces are due to infidelity. Therefore, it is still very important to be strict with yourself. Many times, the breakdown of marriage has obvious harm to family, children, career and psychology.
If you divorce because you cheated, it will not only make you more empty, but also bring down your family, so it will be hard for you to forgive yourself-of course, it will be hard for others to forgive you.
Husband and wife still have some feelings. After divorce, they are very lonely and it is difficult to understand each other.
This type of divorce, the focus is not on the reasons for divorce. But the state of life after divorce. For example, some men are lonely after divorce and want to cheat, but there is no object, so they have the idea of ex-wife.
At this time, he became enthusiastic again. At this time, the ex-wife thought that love was back, so-it was also anxious. I can't say that women are reluctant. This must be what you like and what I want.
Well, the most important thing is to tell those women who have ex-wives and ex-girlfriends. Don't just believe that your husband has nothing to do with his ex.
I have been exposed to three or four almost identical stories-the woman said that her husband (boyfriend) came home because his ex-wife took care of the children. When I sleep at night, I sleep together-then I have sex. Okay, cheating ex-wife, it sounds a little ridiculous, but in fact, this kind of thing always happens.
For animals like men, many times they don't care much about who sleeps next to him-so does their ex-wife.
Divorced because of the contradiction of the extended family, but the contradiction was later eliminated.
It's simple, like a mother-in-law relationship. You give your mother 1000 and my mother 800. The contradiction between big families will seriously affect the happiness and feelings of small families.
Dealing with extended families is an important proposition for many couples five years or even their whole lives before marriage, and many marriages are torn apart by extended families.
However, once the contradictions between extended families are eliminated, remarriage is still possible. In the final analysis, for women, I just want my small family to live well-as long as external conditions do not affect the harmony of my small family, then everything can be discussed, understood and forgiven.
God's eyes are long. "Driving around is still yours."
This is simply a matter of luck. Many people divorced for seven or eight years, or even divorced for ten or twenty years, and then remarried. A famous example is Joker Xue and Gao Leixin's Go for a Drive for You.
This operability is not strong, the key depends on whether God has long eyes.
However, although "God has eyes" and "going around" sounds beautiful, some things are still subtle. Take Joker Xue and Gao Leixin for example. When Joker Xue and Gao Leixin reunited, Joker Xue became famous, while when they divorced, Joker Xue was obviously in a silent period.
This thing is very subtle. It doesn't mean that Gao Leixin left Joker Xue at a low ebb and came back at a glorious time.
There is a very important problem that we should make clear-when a man is at a low ebb, his marriage is difficult to get along with, because his main energy and main contradiction at that time are survival and development, not marriage and love.
You see, many people divorce because men are heavily in debt and their careers are frustrated. It's not because women are too poor to love rich people and don't accompany them when they are in trouble. But when men are at low tide, it is difficult to be romantic, or even have a bad temper, and it is difficult to give women more warmth. Women's attitudes are mutual. You should expect a woman to be fierce, scolded by men and ignored by men.
Therefore, the divorce of husband and wife in this case cannot be understood as "husband and wife are birds in a forest, and they fly separately when disaster strikes." It is still an emotional relationship in essence-there are still some differences between husband and wife and lovers.
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