First, the skills to understand the psychology of the elderly To do a good job in psychological counseling for the elderly, we must first understand the psychology of the elderly in order to prescribe the right medicine. How to understand the psychology of the elderly? You can start from the following aspects:
(A) should pay attention to listen to the voice of the elderly.
Listen to the voices of the elderly, such as their adaptation or living conditions, economic life, interpersonal relationships, and satisfaction with life before and after retirement. From these aspects, we can understand the psychological state of the elderly. In addition, listening itself is the process of helping the elderly to carry out psychological counseling. Sometimes, after the old people talk, their mood becomes particularly happy.
(2) Pay attention to the behavior of the elderly. Pay attention to the uneasy expression of the old man and understand what causes the old man to be uneasy. Generally, the reasons can be found from the following factors: the cultural background of the elderly, their value judgments and attitudes, the views and prejudices of the society towards the elderly, their responses to the society and their adaptation to the social environment.
(C) to understand the interaction of the elderly
Understand the psychology of the elderly by knowing their relatives and friends. Understand the situation of old people making friends, the needs of old people for friendship, especially heterosexual friends, the needs of getting along with others or learning to do things, whether old people care about others, like to get in touch with people, like sports and walking, and whether life is full of vitality.
In addition, we must understand the uniqueness of the elderly and respect their dignity. Understand whether the elderly like to make their own decisions and choices, whether they like to criticize others or write about past deeds, whether they have self-esteem, whether they participate in meaningful activities, whether they are good at handling personal belongings and whether they remain unique.
2. Talking skills with the elderly
(1) Be prepared for heart-to-heart.
Before talking to the elderly, workers should be prepared, especially the topic and general steps of the conversation, as well as what unexpected changes will be encountered during the conversation and what measures should be taken.
(3) Choose a good time and place to talk.
When talking with the elderly, the time and place should be chosen properly, and it is not appropriate to occupy the rest time of the elderly or engage in recreational activities that the elderly like. In the choice of location, it is advisable to choose a quiet and elegant place, and at the same time pay attention to whether there is a third party present to affect the heart-to-heart. If there is a third party who affects your heart-to-heart, you must change the venue or ask him to leave. If the third party has a positive influence on the heart-to-heart talk, we should pay attention to controlling the theme and main tasks of the heart-to-heart talk, and don't let the third party usurp the role of the host.
(d) Address the elderly appropriately.
Use honorifics for the elderly. If the old man has held a post before, he can be commensurate with the old post, but he should pay attention to choosing the highest old post he has held.
(5) Ensure the consistency and coherence of the heart-to-heart talk.
In the process of heart-to-heart, we should pay attention to the theme and avoid digression. When the elderly talk about digression, we should pay attention to pulling them back to the topic with hints or gestures to ensure the consistency and coherence of the heart-to-heart talk.
(6) Pay attention to the posture of listening when talking, and don't pretend to be the host. The essence of heart-to-heart talk is also a psychological catharsis of the elderly. Therefore, workers should pay attention to be good listeners and listen to the voices of the elderly. In this process, we can use hints, gestures or objects around us to control the thinking of the elderly and prevent them from digressing.
(seven) pay attention to control the time of heart-to-heart, the duration should not be too long.
The elderly are weak, so it is not advisable to talk for too long, so as not to affect their health.
2. How to help the elderly cope with the pressure of life
In their later life, the elderly will encounter many pressures from life, such as illness, children, relatives and friends, social interaction and so on. If not handled properly, it will lead to heart disease and endanger the physical and mental health of the elderly. How to help the elderly cope with the pressure of life? Li Zenglu, a scholar from Taiwan Province Province, China, put forward the following skills for our reference:
(1) Encourage the elderly to participate in various beneficial activities.
Participating in beneficial social activities is not only conducive to eliminating the loneliness of the elderly and adding interest to their old age, but also helps them forget their troubles and eliminate stress.
(two) to help the elderly to correctly cope with the pressure of life.
The life pressure of many elderly people often comes from worries about family, living environment, health or economy. For example, some old people worry about the future of their children or grandchildren, some old people worry about their physical condition, and some old people blindly compare their living conditions with others, which leads to their psychological imbalance and unhappiness. All these require staff to help the elderly to look at social phenomena with a correct attitude and eliminate worrying anxiety.
(three) to help relatives and friends of the elderly to understand the elderly.
Staff can communicate with relatives and friends of the elderly and tell them some knowledge about the physiology and psychology of the elderly, so that they can better understand and understand the behavior and psychology of the elderly, thus improving their relationship with the elderly.
(d) Help children communicate with the elderly.
Because the old man lives in seclusion and his social information is ineffective, he very much hopes that someone will chat with him often. When children come home, they often find a lot to say like children. Because children have their own living arrangements, they often avoid talking with the elderly intentionally or unintentionally, which is the most unbearable thing for the elderly. Therefore, social workers should help their children do the following two things:
1. Always catching up with old people.
Old people don't want to lose the value of life. Their past life and career are something they should cherish. The past means that you are brave, lucky and wise, and it is a kind of "motivation" for the elderly to live bravely. Therefore, families should review their past events with their parents, and some interesting things that parents brought up as adults.
2. Don't be too talkative to the old people.
Chattering, being talkative and caring repeatedly is a characteristic of the old people's way of thinking, and it is also a reflection of their slowness. Just like the old man's movements are not as neat as before, and his words are easy to nag. Children should have more understanding and patience with their parents' words and deeds.
(5) Establish a good professional relationship with the elderly.
The staff should sincerely provide meticulous service for the elderly with their enthusiasm and love, gain the trust of the elderly, and at the same time let the elderly have a close friend to effectively help them eliminate the pressure of life.
(6) Discuss with the elderly the coping methods of past life stress.
If the old people don't cope with the pressure of life properly, it will not only not eliminate the pressure of life, but will make the pressure of life even greater. Therefore, the staff should often discuss with the elderly the ways to cope with past life stress, correct some incorrect practices of the elderly and help them find better ways to cope with life stress.
(7) Praise and encourage the elderly appropriately.
Observe the people, things and things that the elderly value and cherish, and praise and encourage them appropriately. Every old man will have something he values or treasures or something he is proud of. If we give proper praise or encouragement to these people, things or things, it will often give the elderly a sincere sense of pride and satisfaction, thus enhancing their confidence in life and making them love life more.
Four. Counseling and treatment skills of psychological abnormalities in the elderly
(A) sense of aging
As an organism, human beings have irresistible natural laws, so aging is inevitable. Old people have a feeling that they are old, that is, a sense of aging. Senility is a subjective psychological state of "I am old and become an old man", that is, I think I am "useless".
1, the main manifestation of aging feeling
Once the sense of aging is produced, it means that a person's spirit has aged and lost his will and enthusiasm for life. Its performance mainly includes:
(1) Depression. Depression leads to aging, accelerates the decline of will, and then accelerates the decline of physical aging and psychological function, or leads to or implies new diseases.
(2) Feeling old and weak. "If you are afraid of old age, you will be worried about illness." Old people will feel weak and powerless when they go downhill.
(3) Serious sense of loss. I often fall into an embarrassing state, always feeling that "the world no longer needs me, and people have forgotten me."
4 perfunctory. Get up, have breakfast, have lunch and have dinner. I think it doesn't matter, it's dispensable, as if I'm just a body without soul but with life.
(5) no progress. Early habits, such as reading newspapers and watching TV, are no longer maintained, thinking that "it's useless anyway, what are you looking at?"
2. Guidance and treatment of aging.
For the elderly with aging consciousness, family units should be given priority to, supplemented by social interaction for guidance and treatment.
Relatives are the main dependent objects of the elderly. They should adopt an understanding and supportive attitude towards the elderly, actively cooperate with the psychological doctor's treatment plan and adjust the patients. Social communication is a necessary therapeutic condition for an elderly person with psychological problems of aging, because they will feel relaxed and happy when they are integrated into the living atmosphere, and will not feel "old" or "useless".
(2) Retirement syndrome
It is an objective law of the development of human history that "the waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves before", and a new generation changes the old ones. When the elderly reach the appropriate age, it is normal for them to leave their professional posts for the sake of young people and promising people. However, retired veteran comrades often suffer from depression and abnormal behavior, and even cause other diseases, which seriously affect their health. This is the retirement syndrome, which is an uncomfortable experience for people after retirement.
1. The manifestations of retirement syndrome. People with retirement syndrome mainly show fidgeting, repetitive behavior, indecision, being at a loss, and even compulsive directional behavior; Can't concentrate and often make mistakes in doing things; Temperament changes obviously, easily irritable, dissatisfied with everything, always nostalgic; Suspicion and prejudice; Melancholy, insomnia, dreaminess, palpitation, paroxysmal systemic dryness and heat, etc.
Generally speaking, the incidence of people who are enterprising, aggressive, argumentative, rigorous and extreme, and opinionated is high; People who quit suddenly without psychological preparation have high incidence and severe symptoms; People who have a wide range of activities and hobbies seldom get sick. Women adapt faster than men and have fewer retirement syndrome.
2. Causes of retirement syndrome
The main causes of this disease are depression and sadness after retirement, including:
(1) sense of loss. The narrowing of social circle, the change of interpersonal relationship, the idleness, disappointment and regret of some wishes will all interfere with emotions, affect psychological balance and produce a sense of loss.
(2) Nostalgia. In the leisure time after retirement, it is easy to indulge in the memories of the past and reminisce about the good old days, but it will eventually lead to the regret of "helpless flowers falling" because of the passage of time like an arrow. Over time, I feel depressed and withdrawn.
(3) Love your friends. Stay away from colleagues and friends after retirement; Acquaintances die one after another, and when people get old, they often feel sad and lonely.
Many people don't expect to retire, but once they retire, they envy the busy days before. Some people stubbornly resist the laws of nature and refuse to give up their original social roles, resulting in frequent setbacks. Or they are not psychologically prepared for the life after retirement and have not made proper arrangements. After retirement, they feel empty and have nothing to do, and life is boring. Some people may have emotional anxiety, depression, tension, resentment, fear, inferiority, compulsion, paranoia, nitpicking and other psychological States, and may be complicated by palpitation, muscle beating, trembling, insomnia, dreaminess, nocturia, constipation and other symptoms, and even cause psychological and physical diseases.
3. Treatment of retirement syndrome
How to scientifically arrange the life after retirement and avoid the occurrence of retirement syndrome? The following suggestions are for reference:
(1) Necessary mental preparation. We should make full psychological preparations for retirement, understand and conform to the laws of nature, get a cheerful understanding of life, get rid of open-mindedness, establish a new way of life and adapt to new social roles.
(2) Life is endless and activities are endless. After retirement, after unloading the heavy workload, you can devote your energy to the activities you can, continue to make contributions to the society, make yourself "make a difference" and feel "useful", so that you will not feel empty and sad because of losing your original role.
(3) Pay attention to health care and prevent diseases. Disease, like adding insult to injury, will cast a shadow over later life. Therefore, we should pay attention to the maintenance of the body and often take part in the exercise within our power. Regular health check-up, early treatment of diseases and prevention of diseases.
(4) Rich life and harmonious family. Family members should pay more attention to retirees and talk to them often, so as not to make them feel lonely. Retirees should also make proper use of the opportunity of visiting relatives and friends to maintain social activities. Take part in appropriate cultural and recreational activities to enrich your life.
(5) Retirement generally has an adaptation process. During this period, if you have excessive anxiety and depression, you can take some relaxation drugs such as sertraline and Jiajing Ding An. Patients with persistent insomnia can take drugs for a short time to induce sleep, thus establishing a new balance.
(3) phobia of the elderly
Some old people used to be in good health, but when they saw their friends of the same age get sick or die, they felt painful and stubbornly thought they had some kind of disease. Although no abnormalities were found after the examination, they still could not dispel doubts, resulting in negative emotions such as fear and sadness, which brought unnecessary influence on work and family life. This is the so-called "gerophobia".
1. manifestations of phobia in the elderly
(1) Feeling seriously unwell. I feel headache, head swelling, dizziness, memory loss and other physical problems.
(2) neurological symptoms. Nervous is extremely weak, sometimes inexplicably tinnitus, insomnia, paralysis, fatigue and so on.
(3) passively waiting for death. I feel like I'm dying. I don't want to do anything anymore. I just muddle along and "wait for death".
(4) Depression. I don't think about tea and rice, and my spirit is sluggish. In others' eyes, I am really sick.
2. Causes of senile phobia
(1) insufficient understanding. Faced with the deterioration of physical fitness, some elderly people always require their bodies to be as strong as when they were young, and they don't know enough about biological aging and the "natural decline" of health status, or they don't pay enough attention to some chronic diseases until the condition is obvious, which leads to phobia.
(2) sensitive and suspicious. Old people tend to be thoughtful and considerate, and often put their discomfort together with various diseases in medical popular science articles, self-righteous, showing high sensitivity, tension and fear.
(3) Environmental stimulus. Old people often go to hospitals to visit patients or attend memorial services. When they see other people's birth, illness and death, they always feel that other people's today is their own tomorrow. They often suspect that they are ill and are always in fear. In addition, there are many elderly people suffering from chronic diseases, and the environment and atmosphere in the family are not harmonious. The reaction of people around them to their illness, even a word, an action and an expression, will cause patients' anxiety.
From the perspective of psychoanalysis, hypochondriasis or hypochondriasis in old age is a narcissistic complex, from pointing to others in youth to pointing to oneself in old age, to turning to excessive care and love for oneself. According to research, the number of elderly women suffering from depression is significantly higher than that of elderly men.
3. Treatment of senile phobia
The main symptoms of phobia patients are pain or abnormal sensation in some parts of the body. The patient felt the symptoms vividly and described them vividly. When the necessary examination proves that the patient is not sick, as long as the patient turns his attention away from the part he thinks is sick, the symptoms will naturally be alleviated or disappeared. However, due to the sensitivity, paranoia and stubbornness of phobia patients, they generally do not give up their inherent concepts easily. Because of the heavy mental burden, anxiety will do great harm to physical and mental health, and even really cause diseases.
Patients with phobia should receive psychotherapy in time. After cooperating with the doctor to do relevant examinations and proving that he is in good health, he should patiently accept the doctor's explanatory psychotherapy. When doctors make suggestions on patients' personality defects, patients should actively correct them. You can also take anti-anxiety drugs under the guidance of a doctor to relax and eliminate sadness and anxiety. Patients should also actively participate in entertainment and group activities and turn their attention to things of interest. In addition, relaxation training or qigong under the guidance of psychologists can also receive certain effects.
(D) "empty nest" loneliness
Children are not only a heavy burden for parents, but also their pride and spiritual sustenance and comfort. The whole family live in harmony and enjoy family happiness. However, once children get married and leave their parents, they will feel relieved and find themselves lonely. Faced with this change, many parents, especially mothers, can't treat it correctly, resulting in many psychological discomfort problems. The most common one is the loneliness of "empty nest".
Humans have lived in groups for thousands of years and don't like loneliness, especially the elderly. They may be afraid of loneliness. Some experts surveyed more than 0/000 urban elderly people in/kloc, and found that 40% of them felt lonely and depressed, and no one told them anything. Children leave their families and step into society. Old people are particularly "lonely" after leaving society and returning to their families. Once they feel the loneliness of "empty nest", the psychological or emotional support system is often fragile. If you are old and sick, you are more likely to doubt your worth and even feel depressed and desperate. You think you can only go to the grave step by step when you are old. In the worst case, you will soon join the ranks of Alzheimer's disease.
1. The lonely expression of "empty nest"
Patients with "empty nest" loneliness often show that they love to recall the past, feel left out, do not like to participate in activities, stay in a daze behind closed doors, and do not associate with relatives and friends. I always feel that others are indifferent to me, people are indifferent to others, and children have no emotional attachment without themselves.
2. The causes of "empty nest" loneliness
(1) Cognitive error. It is an inevitable trend of family development not to correctly understand children's "leaving the nest". When children grow up, they should be independent and develop their own careers, but as parents, they are not used to this fact.
(2) Emotional illusion. Extremely think that the child is not around, and the feelings are gone.
(3) stubbornly nostalgic. I feel like a stagnant pool without the excitement of the past, so I am depressed and lonely.
(4) Emotional exclusion. I didn't realize that my wife was my only lifelong companion, and all the feelings of rejection were caused by loneliness. In fact, many people are not lonely, because their wives will always be with them.
3. "Empty Nest" Lonely Psychological Counseling
(1) Correctly understand the law of family development. Nowadays, "leaving the nest" is an inevitable trend of family development. Parents raise their children, children get married, get rid of their parents' independence, explore their own living space and raise their offspring. This is the law of family development, and parents cannot change it.
(2) Correctly treat children's "leaving the nest". Leaving the nest is a sign of maturity. When children grow up, parents should look at them differently. In the eyes of many parents, children are always children, and they are never at ease. They always feel that children can't live a normal life without themselves. In fact, in children's living space, they have their own outlook on life and their own way of doing things. Parents should not regard the difference between their children and themselves as a response to their childishness, ignorance and incompetence. It is necessary to care about children leaving the nest, but it is unnecessary to worry.
If children grow up, they can't live without their parents, get married without housing and live with their parents for a long time; Financial constraints, asking parents for subsidies every month; Grandchildren can't support them, so they have to be fostered in nursing homes. This can only reflect their children's ignorance, incompetence and naivety, but it is a manifestation of family misfortune. Therefore, the elderly should be happy that their children have left the nest, and there is no need to lament negatively. At the same time, leaving the nest does not mean breaking off the relationship. After children leave home to establish a new living space, they should continue to strengthen their ties with children, try their best to enhance mutual understanding and understanding between two generations or even three generations, give children more consideration and help, pay attention to eliminating misunderstandings, and attract children to often go home for reunion.
(3) Husband and wife are true lifelong partners. Generally speaking, after the child is born, the relationship between husband and wife will gradually turn to the child, and the child will become the center of the family, and the care and consideration between husband and wife will be relatively reduced. When the children leave the nest, the elderly couple should turn their emotions to their wives in time, and the couple should participate in some meaningful activities to strengthen the emotional exchange between husband and wife and further improve the relationship between husband and wife, so as to fill the "vacuum" left by the children leaving the nest. If you are widowed, consider remarriage under appropriate circumstances, rebuild your family, create a happy family atmosphere, and let your feelings have sustenance.
(4) Strengthen communication with society. When you feel lonely, you can consider strengthening communication with society. Make more friends and try to get along with all kinds of people. On the one hand, we should help others and win their respect and sincere friendship. On the other hand, we should seek help from others, so that our mentality can be relaxed from tension through the help of others. If you pretend to be lofty, refuse to ask for help when you encounter difficulties, or ignore others' difficulties, the result will inevitably increase your loneliness.
(5) Explore a new amateur life. Get pleasure from reading, learning Chinese characters, drawing, practicing piano, boxing, fencing, planting flowers, raising animals and writing works, and let yourself get rid of the lonely circle.