Because of the long-term closure and lack of a lot of social experience and basic common sense in daily life, it is difficult to do any small thing, and it is even more difficult to achieve that successful or perfect goal. Therefore, there are two steps, first to get healthy and sound, and then to succeed.
Here are some examples of me.
From the previous information, we know that only two or three relatives come to play in our family, and grandma's house is too far away to play. My parents don't have any friends, and even my neighbors never visit. Under the subtle influence of parents, I can imagine decades of social aspects and learning ability. When I was young, I always didn't want to go. There are many people in my family who have never said a word. I am very depressed and scared. I don't know what I like, and I can't express my feelings. Every time they see me, they always say that I am honest, too honest and have more courage. I feel even worse after listening to it. Parents never respond to their words. In the last two or three years, I am most afraid of being a guest. As a result of growing up, it is customary to propose a toast to the guests. This is etiquette and what a young man should do. But I won't make a toast. There are scruples.
One is that I always feel that I have no real feelings for two or three relatives who come and go. After all, we only come once every 1 year, which is our custom here. In addition, guests must give gifts. I think gifts should be given to those who need them most, so that people will be happy. Only in this way can we reflect a relationship of care and love, and we don't have to pay. This has become a form, but the customs that have existed for so long have changed. We don't have to ask people to give us much money, but we must also give us much money. What's the point? Do what you can according to your family's situation. No matter how many ideas arrive. If you don't send it, it means that you are heartless and stingy.
Second, I have never been in contact with two or three relatives who came to their home, let alone have any real feelings. Most of them have no real feelings, either very young or elders, and there are not many peers. The topic they talked about never touched. Coupled with my years of isolation, there are fewer topics in my mind. There is nothing to say at the dinner table, so many people are eating around a big round table, which is extremely embarrassing. In addition, I don't know the basic methods of listening. People say that it is not right to say nothing all the time, but just deal with it. That is, anyone who associates with others without saying a word 100% will be embarrassed. After a long time, his facial expression will become very stiff and ugly like a dead body, and his movements will become passive. When someone suddenly asks me a question, he will suddenly be at a loss and may be nervous. Khan, I really want to escape from reality at once, but I can't escape. That kind of contradictory psychology can be imagined.
Third, I want to propose a toast when I grow up. I don't know how to make a toast. It is very particular to see many people toasting. As for me, I am old-fashioned and like to finish a task. Because I have no real feelings with most people, I can't persuade them to drink. Etiquette in China is a problem for me. I propose a toast to others, and they will say no, that's enough. However, this is only a polite shirking. I have to say something that makes him feel acceptable, and what I can't say makes him feel forced to add it to him. It's too difficult. I will only say symbolically: Do you want more? I really can't think of anything else. Moreover, his voice sounded reluctant and light, like he was completing a task, and his face was embarrassed, stiff and colorless. It makes people pale and feel worse. They always say the same thing over and over again. I became helpless. Sometimes I make myself feel so bad that I simply don't give them a toast, which makes them embarrassed. In fact, they don't have much in the quilt, and they are embarrassed to say more. Sometimes people can't stand that many people are out of wine and shout for a toast. Suddenly, like a thief caught, I raised my glass passively. When eating, so many dishes have no appetite at all. Like completing a task, they always want to eat early and return early, hoping that the wine in their cups is shallow and slow. Because I have closed all contacts for so many years, there are too few people, I have never seen how people toast, I don't know what the detailed process of toasting is, and I know too little in my mind. By self-examination and analysis, I can't find a toast that suits me and can be accepted by others. I think the first thing to learn to toast is to practice it again and see how others toast, but at present, only two or three parents can practice it, and only once in the New Year. In the last two years, I'm too old to be a guest. No matter what my parents say, I don't want to go, and it's embarrassing to go. Dad said: There were few relatives, so we won't go. After that, if something happens at home, who should we turn to for help? Only once a year. Being a guest is a form. My mother never goes here. Although she doesn't have to make a toast, she is not as serious as I am, but there are some obstacles. She has nothing to do with them. It's embarrassing, and there are many things she doesn't want to face ... What Dad said is reasonable and I understand, but he knows my problem. I also know that the first thing to change myself is to practice, but if a family doesn't go for two or three years, a family doesn't go for five or six years, and a family doesn't go for two years, it makes people even more strange. People think I must have become able to talk, but it will make them even more disappointed. Whether it is career or social interaction, it will bring shame to parents and themselves. I haven't had feelings for them for so long. There are too few internship places, and these environments will still have an impact on my previous shadow. Moreover, I think I should adjust my thinking comprehensively, understand some social attempts, listen to the most basic things, and have topics in my mind. But where can I find so many? What should be the first step? How to treat toasts and gifts and how to treat relatives correctly. I feel very weak.
Fourth, I don't know how to communicate with my children correctly. /kloc-children aged 0/to 3 or 4 should have been hurt by their elders. Why don't I have feelings for them? I see many people like children, teasing them with all kinds of actions and language, and caring for them. And I also know that being a brother or elder should also show concern and love for the younger generation, at least say a few words. But there is nothing in my mind and I don't know what to say. It is rare to say a few words, and the words are boring, and children don't like to hear them. Some children are really cute and I like them very much, but they are contradictory. They don't know what to do or say, they can accept it in that way. They have too many unexpected scruples in their hearts, some of which can only be said when they meet. 1 1 Children between the ages of are very naughty. I often hit you on purpose to attract others' attention. You ignore him and he keeps walking. I have a pair of lovely and charming eyes like a child. People say I'm five or six years younger than my actual age. People who don't grow up, whether psychologically or physically, especially those eyes, are out of tune with my age. Sometimes I wish I would rather be ordinary. Because it can attract children's attention more. They hit me on purpose to get my attention. I don't know how to respond to them correctly. I ignored them, but they fought anyway, which was embarrassing in front of everyone, especially their parents. I just said very gently: don't move. Very embarrassed and weak voice, and that kind of poor feeling of being moved and sweaty. I am so humiliated in front of everyone, but I feel wronged is really ridiculous. Because they are children, I always speak loudly like a man at home. I'm afraid my voice will scare the children. Besides, many people, especially his family, are afraid of being rude. So I'm ambivalent. I see some people who are similar to me, and saying something will distract the children, but I can't, I don't know how to study, and there is nothing in my mind. Others are mean to the child, regardless of his parents' presence, but he is mean and won't hurt the kind. I couldn't learn at that time. Some deliberately beat children to scare them away. Some people played with the children for a while before leaving. I didn't understand. What should I do? Where should I start?
Fifth, I don't know how to associate with beautiful women. I've been sensitive to women since I was 16, 17 years old, and I've been in a serious hazy state before, like a volcanic eruption suddenly waking up and sweating. If they sit on the edge and have nothing to say, they will be embarrassed, and their faces will be red to the root of their necks, which will aggravate the vicious circle of other people's every move. The key is to have words suitable for yourself and others, and all communication problems have been solved. If someone else is in this state, if someone suddenly says something to me, it's like getting an electric shock. It's terrible. Women's bodies or parts are beautiful, but they dare not look at them. That kind of state is very uncomfortable, because they are afraid that their men will say: little pervert, what are you looking at, my girlfriend, my wife. What a duplicitous guy, he looks serious and has such a color in his bones. If I look at them, they will look at me. Some men are afraid of being jealous when they see me. Another idea is to look at a girl about her own age and tell herself that she is not good enough. what are you reading? And if you just watch and don't talk, it will be bad and embarrassing. I also said to myself in my heart, I can't be so ugly. There will be all kinds of other problems. I have never had a real friend of the opposite sex, and I have never seen the opposite sex at close range. Beautiful heterosexual couples are laughing around. Compared with themselves, they are embarrassed and uncomfortable. They dare not stare at their eyes or any part, suppressing everything.
Six are my questions. The details are very detailed It's like greeting different people. For example, I am now working as an extractor in a pharmaceutical factory. It is said that it is polite to meet the leader and say hello. One day, I was walking in the corridor with a colleague with a similar position, and the old factory director came over. I realized from far away that I had to do a task to say hello. People are not like this, but naturally. Most people don't say hello when they meet the factory director. They just looked at each other and knew it was each other. And every time I see the factory director, I scream, which is embarrassing and not from my heart. I don't think the director is willing to say anything. The kind of greeting that everyone has is only available in big companies on TV, but how can I be right in this factory in reality? For example, I share a workshop with the monitor of our workshop. He is four years older than me and has worked in the factory for seven years. Call the monitor politely in your mind every day. So every morning when the monitor is far away, I realize that I have a task to do. It's unnatural, stuffy and ugly, but it's not good not to scream. I am ambivalent. I have a knot. Can anyone around me tell me what is right and appropriate? No one imitates the surrounding environment. It is also very difficult to imitate, because we need to know some aspects of the situation, purpose and significance, objectivity and subjectivity, what we think in our hearts and how to combine them. Only by knowing them, can we learn how to deal with the specific role at that time, and there are no related books, and we don't know what keywords to search for him. It's too difficult. And different occasions, different roles, greeting ways are different. Because it has been closed for a long time, I haven't learned it. What should I do?
There is also the problem of walking posture. Different people look at different people with sweaty eyes. ............ is sweating. .........
In a word, I lack the social experience to correctly handle different roles on different occasions. Need a systematic supplement.
Seventh, carelessness. Flexibility, and the situation of the display. He is four years older than me. There are only two people, the monitor and I, in a workshop to extract potions. Need to cooperate with each other. He took care of me in time, but I worked hard and he arranged more for me. The first few months are better. The monitor mainly taught me how to operate the machine, and talked a lot and in detail every day, so I was not afraid of nothing to say. At first, he was a little enthusiastic and active. Tell some stories about him. But I just kept listening, saying nothing and not listening. Recently, we have been stupefied every day. His words are finished. He likes watching football matches, but I don't. Besides, he is older than me and a little distant from the leader. The main thing is that I'm so bored. Our work is easier. Only when the medicine and the dregs are tired, do you sit there and wait for the medicine to burn for several hours when it is put in. It's really embarrassing for two people to sit together speechless. It can be seen from his expression that he is also very uncomfortable in this situation. Working for two people. The key is to cooperate with the tacit understanding, the way of doing things and a tone. I had a hard time at first. Because I have many bad habits. He is a very demanding person. Do things quickly, flexibly, well, down to many visible details, do everything forward and do superficial work well. Because of my personality and long-term habits, I didn't adapt at first, but now I'm better. I am ambivalent and inflexible in many places, and he said a lot about me. In fact, he has put up with a lot, and I feel guilty. I know his heart is good, mainly to do a good job. Often make careless mistakes and make mistakes unconsciously. What should I do? I made many mistakes and blamed myself. I really don't know what appropriate language to use to apologize. He is too lazy to talk about me. For example, if you add more water, you will lose one bag. If something he said is forgotten or confused, you will find that you do something he told you, and both ways are quite contradictory. You may make mistakes, which is not the way he wants. The longer they go to work day after day, the stranger they become. If we work late, we can go home. I can't go back until he agrees. Sometimes we sit there, I have nothing to do, and my expression is embarrassing, which makes people feel like going home. But I know I have to wait for him to talk. He was embarrassed to see me sitting there doing nothing. He wanted to wait because we passed the door of the factory director's office on our way home. There is no point in going back earlier than other workshops. But why didn't he tell me about the seat? It makes me want to go back. I don't know what happened. I always go back when I'm ready, so I have to sit around for no reason and waste a few days. I didn't know until later Anyway, we have nothing, such as robots. It's too uncomfortable.
Eight is learning ability. I am busy with the Spring Festival. The monitor asked me to go to the packing class to help pack (put a bottle of medicine in a carton and seal it with sealing tape). There are nine women in their thirties and forties packing in that workshop, a man in his forties and a boy two years younger than me. I have nothing to say with women, but fortunately there are no beautiful women. It is convenient to load boxes standing, and it is responsible for loading boxes for 8 women. First installation. Women ask me all kinds of questions. I don't have time to answer them all. In fact, I don't want to answer many of their questions. Some people don't know how to answer correctly, and it is impolite not to answer. I don't want to talk about it? I feel very uncomfortable and contradictory. Embarrass yourself. Why is the communication between the 2-year-old boy and the woman so free, humorous and interactive? A woman also told me that you see how lively people are. Packing, sealing. Why people can find the most convenient method immediately without starting work. However, I was also embarrassed at that time. My mind was always different from others when I was studying. The simplest problems have to take a big turn, and some cannot be changed or circumvented. May be the so-called wrong way of thinking, cognitive way. I sealed a lot of boxes, the same as before, but the work should be done well. The box on the side suddenly opened again. I really don't want it anymore. If I don't get it, the woman on the side will shout, and the one on the side will open again and take it again. Is this still work? When I got it, the tape stuck together and I couldn't find it at the moment. Two women looking at me made me extremely nervous. I also said to myself that even such a simple thing is not enough, which makes people look down upon it. Does it look like a person? I dare not look women in the eye, for fear that their strange eyes and words will become more vicious circle. Later, the woman next to her couldn't stand it anymore and said to the woman next to her: You help her with the tape, but the boy can't get it out. You help her. That woman's expression is ugly. Give me a hand. Our expressions affect each other. I watched her help me like a child who made a mistake. I really want to die. Everything is meaningless. But there is no awakening of death. Many types of experiences before. The tape of the box was still broken, and the woman next to me showed me my method and taught me how to repair it, but I just couldn't learn that trick. She felt helpless, and her sympathetic and incredible expression made me even more embarrassed and sweaty. Later, the boy couldn't stand it anymore, so he showed it to me himself. He finished it quickly and well. The woman on the side said, well, look what he taught you! ! I feel even worse after listening to it. Plus younger people have taught me more. What am I like as a brother? After the first demonstration, he tried several times by himself and got a little better. Do I look like a job? The rework efficiency is very low. A little thing will make attractive women lose face. He really looks like a basket case. If the previous step is not done well, it will affect the next step, a vicious circle. Only when every step is coordinated and changed can the root cause be cured.
Nine is jealousy. Seeing those who are average-looking and average-minded, but have such good grades or good family, or everything goes well, their hard work is always average. What makes them unworthy? But I said to myself in my heart, jealousy is bad and I can't allow it. I am not convinced, but I am still helpless. Seeing those who are average-looking and have poor personalities, they just have a little money and lack a kind and beautiful girlfriend. What makes him, unqualified and dissatisfied. Anger. That's why. Think impassability. Many things.
Ten are out of step with their peers. No topic, thinking. Now I have nothing to talk to most of my peers. They talk about politics, mobile phones, computers, basketball and football, friends, games, fresh life events that happened in their home yesterday, humorous jokes and rich life memories. Their thoughts are active and open, their communication methods are humorous, there is no gap in communication and interaction, and their language is just right, so they can communicate with any group. They can handle all kinds of common situations, some disputes and some emergencies. Compared with my peers, I am too poor. I am so helpless and angry that I want to completely change and release my little universe. From the awakening of 1 year, I saw all my reality. Although there are some ideals, even the most basic ones are difficult and dangerous now. I didn't learn Chinese well since I was a child, and I couldn't write my composition. I haven't learned some basic knowledge. Now that we have entered the society, we find that Chinese is so important. It is one of the compulsory courses to know proper expression, acquire rich knowledge and learn proper expression. At present, it is in my plan, but so many problems need the help of psychological counseling to be fully coordinated step by step. So I have nothing in my mind now, and I really want to express some ideas but I don't know what appropriate language to use. Words, phrases, stylistic grammar, composition writing and literary common sense are all lacking. I keep my mobile phone, because I don't have any friends, so I buy the cheapest one, only the call function. People of the same age have many functions, such as taking photos, taking pictures, texting, chatting with many friends, playing games, surfing the Internet, reading e-books and chatting on QQ. They all have something in common, so they can talk together. They are very concerned about computers, and they all know a thing or two. They have been surfing the Internet in Internet cafes since childhood, or go to the computer room of video games. I wanted to go, but my parents refused. Visiting the computer city goes hand in hand. I haven't been there. When I was a student, everything was closed. I am also playing online games alone. I don't want to spend money, so it is difficult to do anything in the game, and no one will organize me in the activity. Many people are friends or classmates playing a game together, so it is interesting to take care of each other, communicate with each other and kill each other, and naturally cultivate feelings in the game. And I entered the game just to get rid of loneliness, but the game brought disappointment. Learning from each other in the game means that the equipment is always out of order and there are blows everywhere. I don't know what's going on, I hit a wall everywhere. Even the game is disappointing. Basketball and football are boys' favorites. Everyone likes to play and watch games. I didn't like it since I was a child, and I didn't even understand the most basic rules. I understand that watching the game is to get a sense of satisfaction and excitement, and I can watch the game in disguise. Playing ball can cultivate everyone's communication ability and unity spirit, as well as physical coordination. I lack too much. What is new in life? Do you think my family will have it? Every day, I hear my family talk about today's trivial work and complain about everything with my mother. All the good things and bad things have gone bad in my mother's eyes. Growing up, my mother was very good. She can juggle, that is, the little bad things will get bigger and bigger, and the little happiness will disappear, not the opposite trick I hope to see. Humor and jokes, harmonious atmosphere is based on the same topic. What is my life memory? It's basically blank. I don't know how to express some contradictions, which are very contradictory. What are the principles and what words are appropriate? It is even more embarrassing to be afraid of losing face. I have no experience in dealing with all kinds of things, and I don't know how to imitate that profound art, which leads me to be so out of place with my peers, and I am stuck everywhere.
Eleven clothes don't match, and they are so uncoordinated and contradictory. The clothes my parents bought for me when I was a child were the cheapest and the biggest. I hope I can wear it for a few more years, so I feel distressed to buy it for me, and sometimes I don't buy it. Seeing that the goods are picked and picked, the counter-offer merchants have nothing to say, sweating. But parents are role models in this respect. Whether I like this dress or not, whether the style and color are suitable or not, put it on for me. I have no choice. I felt uncomfortable wearing it when I was a child. My mother was afraid that I would catch cold, so she wrapped it up for me in winter and dressed it half as thick as ordinary children. I acted like a little penguin, with heavy movements. Actually, it's not cold at all. I may have said something about resistance, but no matter what I say or think, my parents have their own ways. I bought my own clothes from 17 when I was working. But I won't buy it or match it. I bought it from a shopkeeper because she didn't have to bargain there and always gave a conscience price. And I can't bargain at all, and I hate bargaining. Give me a reasonable price, don't bother. She helped me choose, I paid and left in three seconds. Now many sweaters are made according to my mother's prototype, so I have to wear them. Many underwear are the cheapest, and socks are not as uncoordinated and sweaty as what I wear. However, if you throw so much at once, your parents will scold you to death. It costs a lot of money to buy it all by yourself. I really don't want to see what my parents will be like at that time. I always feel that my clothes don't fit me now, no matter the color or style. How to find or learn the combination that suits your figure, personality and age? Nobody told me, and I didn't know what to look for when I was looking for a book. I never go shopping, and there is nothing to see in this town. I am an out-and-out otaku. My parents never take me shopping. I just followed them to the market when I was a child, bought some daily necessities and left immediately. I need life counseling. My mother gave me a rice bag from birth because of a little feudal superstition in Sichuan, which caused my head at the back to be flat now. Although it looks not particularly ugly, it feels hateful. Otherwise, I will look better, which leads to this shortcoming. If you want to be bald, you have to have a round head, so every time you have a haircut, the barber deliberately leaves a little more at the back to achieve the coordination of the whole head. In the years since that discovery, I have been feeling sorry and very dissatisfied.
Also, a beverage factory behind us is going to start, which is new. Because I am an old employee, I will be a monitor, and bringing a young man who just came in four years younger than me will definitely encounter more problems. On the issue of mutual cooperation. No one taught me management, communication and time work. If you can't do it in one place, you will lose step by step and hit a wall everywhere, which is a vicious circle.
There are still many memories I can't remember clearly.
A psychological counselor made the following judgment on me through a Baidu question below. I think he is very powerful. You can see the core through some simple explanations without giving specific examples.
Hello, I'm Runxuan's psychology teacher. Your question is wrong and extreme, so I can't give you an answer. I'll give you some analysis and suggestions on your situation.
From your description, I feel that your growth has been depressing yourself, which is caused by the growth education environment, and it will also do great harm to you, which will cause your imperfect personality state, form an extreme thinking mode, and lead to extreme depression of your feelings, thoughts and behaviors; Extreme depression will produce negative depression energy; These energies are piled up in your body and mind and cannot be channeled out, so you will feel very uncomfortable and want to explode at any time.
This is a psychological obstacle, which will cause various psychological problems for a long time; So if you are like this, it is recommended to participate in systematic psychological counseling. This situation has something to do with your internal nature and external environment, and needs to be adjusted. You can't basically adjust yourself.
The questions are as follows: how to follow your inner needs and do it without scruple? It's hard! ! ! thank you
Reward score: 10| Solution time: 20 10- 12-6 09:32| Questioner: King ab left the shore.
In reality, I worry too much. My face, excessive self-esteem, speaking ability, economic ability, height and other people's opinions make many things I want to do impossible. I hope to be like Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump, let go of everything and have no scruples. I know he is a fool, but in fact he just doesn't know what others think. I'm not a fool. I can't do it without knowing what others think. I hope I don't care what others think and do something unusual that I want to do.
If I give up everything, what I want to do: 1 Whenever I want to run, I will go to the provincial secondary asphalt road with cars behind my home, whether it's jogging, running or walking, whether it's noon in the evening, winter and summer, it's thundering and windy in rainy days, and I will go when my mood comes; 2 wear different clothes that you want to wear, and only wear one style at present; Do your favorite hairstyle and get a haircut; 3 Not afraid of being short, not afraid of having no money, not afraid of not telling, chasing the woman you like in different ways; No matter where you go, sing loudly as long as you are happy, no matter how ugly it is, no matter how strange others look, no matter where you want to read, take it out and let them say it. 5 admit that you are stupid, you can put down your face for a question and ask and do it by hook or by crook; 6 Not afraid of rejection, curses, threats and condescending sales; Not afraid of inferiority, clumsy tongue, clumsy to do service industry; 7 Not afraid of death, not afraid of losing your own interests, stand up when you see someone robbing you; 8 Not afraid of blushing, not afraid of being called abnormal, good things are always appreciated, so boldly appreciate beautiful women and take a look; 9 boldly put forward unfair treatment on the spot; 10 shouted at the person who jumped the queue; 1 1 There is no distance with anyone, and you can communicate with leaders, beautiful women, strangers, children, old people, annoying people, colleagues and subordinates about anything, such as privacy, jokes, problem discussion, shy topics, important and boring. 12 do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't violate your inner needs and laws.
I admire those who have unique ideas and dare to do it. I vaguely saw some examples on the Internet before, but I forgot them. I don't know what keyword to search with. Please tell me what you know? Internet stars, entertainment circles, post-90s generation, new and new people, and some college students. I think there are some. How to search? I want to know what they think of others' unique behavior towards them. How to keep yourself and do what you want to do? I want to know their hearts. What sustains them? thank you
I vaguely see that there are some training institutions on the Internet that train eloquence or succeed or socialize. Psychological institutions will provide some students or patients with some specific environments, so that they can adjust step by step and practice for them. But this concept is very imitative, and I don't know what keywords to use to search online help. I feel that a professional psychology teacher can help me.
So many questions I need to step by step, where and how to start? If everyone helps me solve a problem, all the problems will be solved soon. This idea of mine is really selfish. I'm ambivalent, too My parents don't understand that I don't give financial support. I changed my job for five years because of social problems. I changed a lot of jobs. In recent years, except for food and accommodation, other expenses have been paid by myself. I can't find a well-paid job. Sweating. Not much savings. Otherwise, I want to go to professional psychological counseling. If someone helps me, I will write it down. I hope that if I have money that day, I will remit some appropriate money in the post office in return. I'm thinking, maybe someone will turn around and run away after reading so many questions, because there is no free lunch in the world, and it is said that this lunch is too rich. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you don't want to help me. I understand, but I hope you can give me some comfort or give me some other ways. I really want to borrow tens of thousands of dollars to do psychological counseling at once, but I have to find a guarantor loan after buying it. If my parents find out, they will definitely be kicked out of the house. I want to borrow money, but I have no friends. It will take at least two years to make up that meager salary, Khan. I'm not afraid to report my current deposit of 4300. I am willing to give everything on the premise that my life is guaranteed. My question needs systematic long-term consultation, so I calculated that it will cost 16000 yuan at least one year. If I have 65,438+million, I am willing to take out 90,000. Real psychological counseling will face many problems: leave from work, suitable psychological counselor, distance. Even if it helps me solve a problem, I am very grateful. I don't want to get sympathy from others. I just want to talk about my inner contradictions and helplessness.