Marriage counseling refers to psychological counseling in which both husband and wife seek professional help to solve psychological obstacles caused by marital problems.
Second, the main problems to be solved in marriage counseling:
Poor communication, frequent contradictions, disharmony in personality, disharmony in sexual life, extramarital affairs, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, cold and distant feelings between husband and wife, etc.
3. Marriage counseling mainly involves:
Emotional counseling for unmarried and married people;
Pre-marital counseling and counseling for unmarried men and women;
Provide consultation and guidance on the adjustment of husband and wife relationship;
Provide counseling and guidance on family interpersonal relationship adjustment;
Help the parties to resolve various marriage and family crises;
Provide parents with self-education and parenting education consultation and counseling;
Provide counseling and guidance for divorced and remarried people;
Provide advice and guidance on family health and safety.
The purpose of marriage counseling:
The primary purpose of marriage counseling is to help spouses solve marriage problems with professional counseling skills.
Secondly, through consultation, we can actively enhance the emotional connection between husband and wife and make marriage a safe spiritual base.
In addition, marriage counseling can also help both parties explore their personal needs and expectations, and discuss whether to make a decision to end their marriage according to their different situations.
5. The length of marriage counseling
There is little difference between marriage counseling and usual psychological counseling. Generally speaking, marriage counseling needs several times to a dozen times, sometimes it may last for several months, and the time of each counseling varies from 45 minutes to 75 minutes.
The frequency of counseling mainly depends on the complexity of marital problems of both husband and wife and the motivation to improve these problems.
The object of marriage counseling (who is suitable for seeking the help of marriage counseling? )
John Gottman, a famous American marriage scholar, once said: In western society, on average, couples will seek professional assistance only seven years after their marriage becomes red. In a society that is more conservative and resistant to psychological counseling, this average life expectancy has been lengthened by two or three times.
As a psychologist with decades of experience in marriage counseling, I want to say that there are far more couples with marriage problems than we thought, and many problems in marriage are beyond our own ability to solve. Just like the metaphor of action and reaction in Newtonian mechanics: none of us can drag our hair away from this earth.
But unfortunately, at present, Chinese people still hold the mentality of washing their dirty linen in public, and their acceptance is not high, and they are generally unwilling to seek professional marriage counseling.
Delaying marriage is just like delaying medical treatment because of physical illness, which will only make the contradictions between two people more frequent, and the psychological grievances and dissatisfaction will become deeper and deeper, eventually leading to more and more serious problems.
Marriage has been popular for decades, and it is difficult to ask for help. Not only does the marriage counseling work rise to the difficulty of "everything is in a hurry and there is no way to start", but the two people in the marriage also find other windows that can give emotional comfort, such as children, work, religious beliefs, friends and so on.
When two people in marriage gradually get used to the cold or hostile marriage relationship, their psychological distance is basically alienated to the extent that they are unwilling to communicate and change.
At this time, it is very difficult to seek the help of marriage counseling. Because the return on investment in repairing marriage at this time is too low, both husband and wife no longer need each other psychologically.
Therefore, a friend will usually ask me: Teacher, what is my situation and is it suitable for marriage counseling?
My reply is basically: look at the time. The sooner you consult, the greater the hope.
Effectiveness of marriage counseling
Recent research shows that after 8-20 interviews with marriage counselors, 90% of couples' relationship has improved, and 70% of couples report that their relationship has been completely repaired.
After years of empirical research, marriage counseling shows its effectiveness in helping partners improve their relationships, and follow-up research also shows that these improvements are lasting and effective.
Matters needing attention in marriage counseling
The biggest difference between marriage counseling and individual psychological counseling is that both husband and wife need to participate in the whole process of marriage counseling at the same time.
Because, even though there are many mistakes and disputes, from the perspective of system theory, the marriage problem is caused by two people together, so both sides need to cooperate and improve the problem together.
Although personal changes will also cause changes in the family system, personal strength is meager, and the system that resists change can easily bring back the old behavior pattern before the change and return to the old painful balance when there is no alternative.
The last thing I want to say to my friends is:
Marriage is like a precious gardenia, which needs proper humidity, sunshine and careful care. What kind of marriage relationship you want requires different degrees of effort.
Marriage counseling is another professional and efficient resource besides friends and relatives. I hope readers can make good use of it.
I'm @ 両両両両両両両両両両両両両両両𰵁両両両𰵁𰵁両𰵁20000