Don't think that if you stick to it, you can get her back together; I don't know if the more you put pressure on each other, the more they resist you and even run away.
You don't know me. Why don't you impress each other after doing so much work?
Because after breaking up, I don't repent, only moved. For the other person, your personal behavior is putting pressure on her.
When you haven't changed to save each other in the same way, the other person always feels that you have no idea about your own nature, so why should the other person stay with you again? How on earth should you save her?
Next, the emotional tutor combined with a student's example to discuss in detail how to change the other person's mentality and distort the game.
Xingfu compass emotional consultation center
Student private prosecution:
My name is A Hao. I am 28 years old. I am a project manager in an enterprise. After graduation, I traveled alone. After two years, the development trend of work is also good, the income is very good, and the work is quite satisfactory, but there is not much improvement in feelings.
Qinqin and I are not in the same unit, but because we often have contact at work, we gradually get familiar with it after a long time.
At a theme activity of the enterprise fraternity, we were assigned to a group to play games. Her plump and attractive figure and youthful breath attracted me at once.
But I always feel that I don't deserve her. I am a 28-year-old grandfather and she is a 23-year-old girl.
With the encouragement of my friends, I pursued the perfection of Qinqin for more than a month. Finally, in a romantic tryst, Qinqin promised to give it a try with me and said that she would watch my main performance later.
After being with Qinqin, I regard her as a treasure and care for her in every possible way. I can eat whatever I want and play whatever games I want. If I can do it for her, the Foundation will obey. That's it. Our feelings have been warming up, and Qinqin also agreed to my request for cohabitation.
I don't know that dogs can't change their ways and eat shit, so I think we should put marriage on the agenda. Qinqin has been expressing herself too fast, and I don't know how to tell my parents. There are all kinds of small frictions, and I don't want to argue with her, so she is cold and violent to me and often doesn't even let me touch her.
Gradually, the kiss stopped pestering me and sending it to me. She always finds fault with me. She thinks I am fat and my clothes are worn out, but she is very strict.
In fact, I am very insecure about her. I always feel that she loves others, but I dare not ask, and I am more afraid of losing my temper with me. I think this will mean what everyone says.
However, the piano is getting colder and colder, and giving gifts can't make her happy. She has been playing the glory of the king herself when she comes home from work. I poured out my boredom as a basin friend, and the basin friend told me that she would play games with her. This is called shaping the same topic.
I went home and tried to play with her. Unexpectedly, after playing a few games, she thought I wouldn't play with me. I found that there were many boys I didn't know in her mobile game. She also had a man, and the relationship between them was hot.
I got angry right away. No wonder I play games with my mobile phone all the time. Not long ago, it was this man who called back at midnight. We quarreled about it, and I questioned her. She was very excited. Needless to say, it is undoubtedly bad for her to be so excited! I robbed her of her mobile phone, but she didn't give it to me at all, and she scolded me for almost never trusting her.
Qinqin has clearly proposed to break up now, and I won't agree. I didn't coax her at once this time, because I knew she was difficult to coax, so maybe it would be better to be cold for a while. Unexpectedly, the next morning, she packed her things and left, and called her best friend to help her move things. I had to watch them leave.
These two days are also very cold. I am alone at home, and the impression of our association is everywhere. I didn't reply to the message or answer the phone. I only waited for the news of breaking up, and then deleted me.
I completely collapsed and had to go to their unit to find her and beg her. She has a very bad attitude towards one thing and deliberately avoids me. I'm really scared. I'm afraid the problem will get worse.
With the strong recommendation of my friends, I found a lifelong emotional mentor. The emotional tutor made a technical analysis of one thing and told me that my situation is very common, the problem is outstanding, the breakup time is not long, and I have a great grasp of recovery. The emotional tutor said so, and I once again ignited my expectations.
Xingfu compass emotional consultation center
Emotional mentor analysis
In the actual operation of redemption, it is very common for students to have some paranoid behaviors that lead to the deterioration or withdrawal of relations. Therefore, it is very important to urge and immediately guide students to implement exchange, in order to ensure the pass rate of exchange.
According to telephone communication, collect and sort out students' personal experiences and exchange information, and quickly analyze the key problems of this marriage breakdown after discussion at the conference.
? Low-key efforts, unbalanced framework
After long-term low-key efforts, there may be imbalance in my heart, but if you resist a little, she will judge that you have changed. You don't love me anymore, and love is so tired that the other party pulls away from feelings.
And the cost of pulling her out of that relationship is very low, because she didn't pay as much as you.
You don't want her to suffer indignities, and you don't want her to pay. How did she fall in love with you? In daily life, we can easily find that some boys are not very nice to their girlfriends, but they still love each other and are inseparable.
? Typical straight man, lack of love skills.
It is not difficult to find that students are typical straight handsome men in love, who do not know sweet words and have poor judgment in love. Girls sometimes want to find superiority, and students' answers are not good.
? Strong control and possessiveness.
Moderate possessiveness can make girls think you are very manly. But being too tough can cause problems. In the final analysis, it is all caused by boys' lack of confidence.
People are uncontrolled microorganisms, and too strong possessiveness will cause many obstacles to feelings. Being too casual will give people an aversion.
Moderate possessiveness and moderate production create some unexpected surprises and romance, which can keep the mystery of feelings.
? Wrong way to save.
This is a typical operation error. The overall goal is like a spoiled child. After breaking up, she didn't settle down to communicate. She just chose to immediately engage in cold violence, thinking that girls can reflect on themselves. After getting the news of breaking up, I continued to be persistent.
As everyone knows, this practice, on the one hand, reduces its own use value, on the other hand, makes the other party's disgust more obvious and the situation further worsens.
The essence of Qin Qin is a passive little girl. She feels lonely, rational and attaches importance to her own experience. If she can't reasonably improve her emotional intelligence in communication, then the other party will easily lose her love and hobbies, leading to her emotional death.
In addition, Qinqin has a strong sense of temperament dependence and is not self-motivated. When encountering problems, she subconsciously refers to other people's suggestions. The personal behavior of calling a good girlfriend after breaking up fully proves this point.
Recovery is not an easy task. If there are no good ways and means, the road to recovery will be very difficult after all. In addition, after breaking up, we should dare to distinguish the problems exposed in this marriage relationship. Only when we face them, will we have the opportunity to upgrade our relationship. If she chooses to avoid and dodge from beginning to end, even if she is indecisive and successful, there will always be more and more problems after getting back together.
Xingfu compass emotional consultation center
Exchange guide
After fully collecting students' information, the emotional tutor worked out a set of exclusive rescue plans for students.
? Freeze briefly, break the ice as soon as possible, and rebuild contact.
The other party's breakup mentality is decisive, and students' operational mistakes have long put students on their opposite side. In this case, effective communication cannot be established.
For the current situation, the emotional tutor decided to release his dislike of the target by playing hard to get and send a message to the other party after packing up various schemes.
The purpose of writing information content is to make the target think that students have calmed down and just started thinking about this emotional problem, and the dissatisfaction of the other party will definitely be alleviated.
After the other party replies, change another micro signal and try to apply for adding WeChat friends immediately, and the success rate will be higher. Emotional tutors send students WeChat to further reduce their vigilance and carry out the second step of cold violence, so that the other party can further reduce their vigilance.
After seeing WeChat, the students eagerly started chatting and were discouraged by the emotional tutor. You have to understand that this eager chat at that time will expose a strong sense of demand, and it is easy for the other party to think that your words and deeds are different, and that you are playing tricks on her, thus causing new dissatisfaction.
During the disconnection period, the emotional tutor guides the students to learn the training value presentation, chat skills, long-term relationship maintenance and other services. And guide practical activities, cooperate with the demonstration of emotional instructors, and improve students' emotional intelligence and chat methods.
During the period of breaking off diplomatic relations, we should not be divorced from the analysis and guidance of the emotional tutor, but make purposeful adjustments at any time and place according to the feedback of the target opinions.
? Self-improvement, value establishment, and reversal of target impression.
The beginning and maintenance of a relationship are closely related to the improvement of my style. In addition to the improvement of chat ability, brand image update is also very important.
The emotional tutor has renovated the overall image of the students and put forward detailed suggestions on clothing, which has obviously improved the students' mental outlook.
Under the guidance of the emotional tutor, the students gained a lot of confidence by being a WeChat circle of friends, which can also bring a refreshing sense of goals.
Now is the critical moment of recovery, and the emotional tutor knows that the target and his best friend are now living together. There is no doubt that they care about and discuss the students' situation and analyze whether this person's use value is the most complicated.
According to the analysis of the emotional tutor, the temperament of the target belongs to passive personality, hesitant to do things, like to ask for other people's opinions, and getting a girlfriend is the key link to recovery.
It is normal that the change of classmates is first recognized by girlfriends. Because students are not girlfriends' boyfriends, girlfriends feel that students have a lot of tolerance and appreciation.
? Use the resources around you skillfully to enhance the relationship.
The recovery was carried out again, and the girlfriends evaluated the students' WeChat circle of friends. The emotional tutor concluded that it was probably instigated by the target.
As a personal behavior of my best friend, I have normal interaction with my best friend. After excellent interaction, I will drop down the dialog box to chat.
This student is very worried, because he used to lose his temper because of his girlfriend, and he was never afraid to chat with other girls, let alone be her best friend.
The emotional tutor immediately comforted the students. In the whole process of recovery, there are often some abnormal phenomena to stimulate each other. If the other person loses his temper, it is a useful reflection of redemption. If he keeps his previous design style, the other party is not easy to impress, and how to save his broken boyfriend will be a pool of stagnant water, which is not conducive to recovery.
After one-on-one immediate and specific guidance from emotional tutors, the relationship between girlfriends and students has warmed up slightly, but the situation of basin friends is still mastered. There are some negative comments and recognition from girlfriends and even students.
? Seize the opportunity, use the opportunity to invite, and successfully recover.
After the previous preparation, the students suddenly gave feedback that the target wanted me!
This is expected, but the target is more impatient than predicted. Imagine a person who used to spoil himself, corrected his previous problems and often appeared in his daily life. Even if he doesn't love himself, he doesn't want to bow to others.
This series of women's psychological guidance has had an effect, and a big dialog box has appeared. The emotional tutor specifically told the students to keep a high structure and immediately invited them under the pretext of returning the goods. At first, the other party disagreed with each other, and then made an excuse before the other party agreed to meet.
According to the analysis of the emotional tutor, the two broke up not long ago, and under a series of practical operations, they kept their sense of superiority, simply letting the other party analyze the changes of the students according to the energy depth of the third party, and constantly reducing the requirements and disgust.
This meeting is a dialog box for redemption, and we can try to improve redemption.
The emotional tutor system has formulated a detailed tryst plan, and conducted one-on-one speech drills for students, and conducted emergency drills for various unexpected events, and students are not allowed to fight uncertain battles. Emotional tutors ask students to collect all kinds of objects with mutual reminiscence, so as to pull up each other's anchors, go beyond the purpose of revisiting old dreams, pull up contacts, and even save them immediately.
The tryst was a success. People ask students to choose early, and they deliberately ask students to shirk being late, so as to raise each other's requirements. After the other party has suffered a wave of grievances, its warm touch on people's hearts will be even more unforgettable and shocking.
After proper guidance, the students came up with a memory between them. The other party was moved to tears, and according to the plan, the students moved in and hugged each other tightly. Since then, the two have succeeded.
The emotional tutor also asked the students to bring their girlfriend, go on road trip, to consolidate the recent complicated emotions. After returning home from vacation, the two changed the heads of WeChat couples.
Xingfu compass emotional consultation center
Tutor's conclusion
Remedy is not an easy task. Remedy pays attention to the way. Incorrect redemption always pushes her away from you. If you want to save each other, you can get rid of the incorrect way of saving, change yourself in many ways, and let her realize the essential change and become a beautiful and moving self again.