I asked Mr Qian to be the chairman of my master's thesis and doctoral thesis. Twice I went to deliver newspapers, and he took out exquisite chocolates to entertain me. When I first went there, he called me Sister-"Sister" is a name for girls in Shanghai dialect. The second time I went, he called me Xiao Guai-"Xiao Guai" seemed to call me my little daughter in Shanghainese. Anyway, I found myself getting smaller and smaller in his eyes. During these two visits, I was very stiff and sat there nervously with my paper. I didn't know what to say to him and probably didn't have a chance to talk.
In April 2005, the teacher of Shanghai Normal University asked me to "accompany" Mr. Qian to attend a conference on "Local Experience and World Value of China Aesthetics". I arrived at Mr. Qian's house early in the morning. I sat in his study and waited until he was ready. Looking at one book after another, I began to be dishonest. Look here and there.
? Mr. Qian's study is connected to the balcony. The balcony is shaded by trees, a little sunny, and bloom is warm in spring. The balcony is exquisite, just enough for two chairs and a small round table. I went over and sat on this chair and that chair. I found that these two chairs are different, and one of them can be rocked. It immediately occurred to me that I heard that Mr. Qian and Mr. Qian often played chess. They must be playing chess here. As for their seats, it must be the rocking chair that Mr. Yin sat in (it was verified with Mr. Yin later that it was true). At that time, there were new books presented by teachers such as Wang Xiaohua on the small table on the balcony. The book stand is open, and the breeze blows, gently blowing the pages.
There is a proof of the manuscript on the desk in the study. I was curious, so I flipped through it. It turned out to be the book that Roger Lee commented on the Shanghai literary world. I saw the contents of that book in Tianya. As early as in the middle, I wrote that Mr. Qian fell into the water because he had a pleasant swim in the Lijiang River. Thinking of this, I smiled: this is really capable of writing, and Mr. Qian is written with such temperament.
Perhaps because my curiosity was aroused, I decided to take a closer look at Mr. Qian. I stood quietly at the door of the study and watched him describe it in the mirror. He is wearing a white shirt, which is clean and old-fashioned. You can see that he is very concerned about his description in the mirror. He put on a gray hat, which made him feel a little vicissitudes. He adjusted his hat, put on his jacket and pulled his clothes in front of the mirror. The whole process is full of an unspeakable sense of ceremony. Then, Mr. Qian said goodbye to his hostess, picked up a black briefcase that looked very old and vicissitudes, and walked out with me.
The most beautiful and unforgettable impression of Qian Lao was at that meeting. Xu teacher, who has always been talkative, is quite devoted and talks a lot about beauty. The next speaker, Mr. Qian, is just the other way around, just two sentences. I almost doubt whether he intends to do so. He said: I love beauty and have always loved beauty; Now that I am old, let's listen to your views on beauty. Maybe this is not the exact words, but this is the general idea. This sounds tragic to me. It seems that people like him have been through so much, and it's meaningless to say anything now. It's better not to say. This makes me very moved.
? On the second day of the meeting, I no longer wear such a formal suit, because usually on the second day of the meeting, everyone starts to get familiar with it. If I wear such a stiff suit again, it will be a bit repulsive. So, I put on a black-and-white floral skirt and a red cardigan with lace edges. I was late. When I saw my good friend Liu Xiaoli, I greeted her, but I didn't notice Mr. Qian next to her.
Why didn't you say hello to me? Mr. Qian squinted at me slightly.
I just noticed Mr. Qian. I didn't expect him to be so interesting. Several girls sat around Mr. Qian and chatted with him. Teacher Qian began to praise me, saying that I love beauty and will be beautiful, and that my decoration was as if nothing had happened.
? I blushed with praise, lowered my head and whispered, Mr. Qian, you have a good eye.
? You know Mr. Qian is 87 years old.
? I saw Mr. Qian again at Xiaoli's doctoral thesis defense meeting. After Xiaoli finished her defense, as usual, she took a group photo with many defense teachers such as Miss Qian. I am also very happy to take a photo with Mr. Qian-in fact, I have taken a photo with Mr. Qian once before, but it seems that this is the real photo. Mr. Qian joked that he was our prop. Thinking of the first two photos taken with him, I can't help but smile: I don't know Mr. Qian's good, so I took many photos and used him as a "prop".
? After the photo shoot, we had dinner together. I had a toast with Mr. Qian, saying that the last time I listened to his speech at the meeting, it was so concise and particularly touching, and I took notes when I came back. Besides, I am lazy and seldom write. Mr. Qian was very happy and said when to show it to him. I said to change it again (in fact, it's hard to change it, so let's make a running account). He also talked about his speech in Hangzhou, which was even more exciting. I feel embarrassed, too. What could be more subtle than this speech?
Later, Xiaoli and I sent Mr. Qian home. At his home, Mr. Qian showed me a word and asked me how to write it. Although I have practiced writing, it is difficult to speak deeply, but every stroke of that word seems to be floating in the end, as if it were very elegant. I realized that, so I said this guy might be a little floating. Mr. Qian said it was a little floating.
Then, Mr. Qian began to tell Xiaoli about me. He used two words: calm down. I was almost silent, and I felt that this evaluation really surprised me. Over the years, my life has been full of twists and turns, and my mood has fluctuated. I just try to deal with it calmly-because of my impetuous nature, I never dared to expect that I would get such a brilliant evaluation. He also said that I have my own opinions, and I can't afford it. Life is so complicated, how can you have an opinion? I'm just slowly covering up my impetuousness. The teacher Qian I know is so sensitive, so delicate, and so relentlessly encourages after-school study.
In retrospect, it has been more than ten years since I entered Normal University. Today, more than ten years later, I can say that I have begun to feel everything around me with my heart. It's so ignorant.
At Mr. Qian's house, Xiaoli and I took photos with him on the small balcony respectively. The sunshine in the early summer afternoon is particularly bright, and the mottled shade outside the window is reflected on the small round table, on the page and on us. In the quiet light and shadow flow, the extremely quiet moment is fixed in an instant. ?
? Summer of 2008