How terrible is the life of people with depression? How can we help them? The following are the tree holes I recommend to you for patients with depression, hoping to bring you help.
The secret of the tree hole
Every moment, there will be new pain in the tree hole. The others left the tree hole after being cured. Before leaving, someone said? I want to live well, okay? .
These whispers, like dandelions, set out from all corners of the country and gathered lightly in this virtual tree hole through tight and heavy laughter.
This place is called these people? Spiritual garden? Virtual depression treatment room? . What did you leave for the blogger before he died? Every road I set foot on is called lost? I feel the same way.
This group of lost people touched each other, warmed each other, rubbed each other and kept in touch.
? All the lights in the world are out?
Jiang Han suddenly can't work normally. She changed nouns and verbs back and forth, but she could not write a complete sentence. She began to retch and gasped, and everything was like going back to six years ago? Hit someone? Right now. ? It's like all the lights in the world suddenly went out. ? This is her first time suffering from depression.
In another corner of the tree hole, these changes also happened to Dai Sheng, a junior three student. With my father? The usual saying? Later, when she returned to her room, she suddenly couldn't stand up, her lower body was paralyzed and she couldn't speak clearly. Finally, she climbed into bed.
She began to be unable to eat, and her weight dropped from 120 kg to 90 kg in a few weeks. Her memory is getting worse. She used to recite a poem once or twice, but now she can't recite it after reading it for more than ten minutes. There are 60 students in the class, and her grade has dropped from 17 to 32. All the glassware in the room was broken by her. She walked around barefoot and debris got stuck in her foot. Think? Cool, huh? .
She is becoming more and more insensitive to the feelings and expressions of emotions, and she is indifferent to everything most of the time? No feeling? But it may be because of the trivial matter of buying strawberry ice cream and others giving original ice cream, and the mood broke out like the end of the world.
A life in captivity
Many people with depression feel that they belong to darkness. Every hour after dark, countless new sorrows will emerge in this tree hole. Although for them, the boundary between day and night is not clear, many times, they are all wrapped in the pain of chaos. Feel everything is dark? .
Dai Sheng had insomnia all night. During the 7-day National Day holiday last year, she fell asleep for no more than 5 hours. In the doctor's office, she said she wanted to sleep, and then she cried there for half an hour.
Ning He, who is studying in Sichuan University, can't sleep all night. When she couldn't sleep, she counted the giraffe patterns on the curtains over her head over and over again, and she was so anxious that she grabbed the red marks on her calves with her hands. I usually sleep only two or three hours a day. She said in a circle of friends that as long as she can fall asleep now, she is willing to live for decades.
Ning He once saw a picture of a man with two plugs in the back of his head, but the pillow was three hole socket. The man sat on the bed and looked at the pillow in despair. ? You think everything is wrong. ?
In order to fall asleep, Ning He tried various methods: taking sleeping pills, walking back and forth on the stairs to make himself exhausted, and once even drank a whole box of beer. She was drunk and thought she was going to faint, but as soon as she lay down, she woke up again.
Before he got sick, Ning He especially liked watching movies, but after he got sick, he couldn't concentrate at all. What do you think of the film? Not as interesting as your life? . She often cries for no reason in the classroom full of classmates. She is extremely sensitive to sound, and everyone around her sounds like it? Cut people to pieces? .
Everything is so slow. She feels that she has endless energy, but she doesn't know how to spend it. She often sits in bed all day, with almost no tears on her face, telling herself all the time? Are you going to die? .
People often leave such questions in tree holes: Why am I suffering from depression and not others? Why should I suffer such pain?
When they are not sick, they are all trying to pursue their dreams. Jiang Han studied in a famous university in China and is the backbone of the school dance troupe. Dai Sheng has a good handwriting and won many prizes for painting. Ning He's dream is to be a journalist.
But because of illness, these people have to press the pause button in the best years. Sometimes, this button will never pop up again.
Why is he so lonely? Lightning rod? Similarly, walking on the overpass, she had the idea of jumping. She wrote in the tree hole:? Life is too hard. ? And Dai Sheng, who attempted suicide five times, wrote: Being alive is disgusting. ?
These linguistic similarities have attracted the attention of Zhu, a researcher at the Computer Network Psychology Laboratory of the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences. He named his system? Psychological map? . Is this concentrated? Depression? Pain? Death? Keywords such as Weibo account number are important territories on the map. For a long time, he quietly observed the tree hole behind the dense jungle.
In his published paper, he pointed out that users with different suicide possibilities have different behaviors and language expressions in Weibo. ? Compared with other users, users with high suicide probability have less social interaction, more activities at night, less attention to others, more words to express negation and death, and less words to point to the future. ?
According to Zhu's survey results, the average age of users in eastern Sichuan is 2 1 year, and their education level is mainly concentrated in high schools, junior colleges and universities. ? Young people at this stage often face a series of problems, such as failed love, unsatisfactory work, contradictions in family life and so on, which are reflected in the comments. ?
Jiang Han once stepped on such a line of life and death. Once, her parents got a call from the school and were told that their daughter? Maybe it's gone? . Jiang Han, who just came back from the brink of death, spent a painful week with his parents. She doesn't talk. She stays in bed all day.
Her parents were very angry with her performance and asked her to read Disciples Rules. They think their daughter has a personality problem.
But even Jiang Han doesn't know what happened. She only knows herself. Changed? .
Can fall in love and work. This is Freud's definition of mental health. For people with depression, these two abilities must have stagnated.
In their eyes, the antonym of depression is not happiness, but vitality.
? So it's not that I'm wrong, but that I'm sick?
Nowadays, the era when society knew nothing about depression has passed.
Qi Hengyi, the owner of the bar, is a national second-class psychological counselor and Baidu Depression Bar. At the end of last century, he first met patients with depression in Peking University Sixth Hospital. At that time, most of the patients in the hall had lost consciousness or behavioral ability and needed to be carried by their families to see a doctor. At that time, in the cognition of most people in China, depression was not a kind of depression? What's wrong with you? Only when the symptoms are severe enough will they be sent to the hospital.
Last year, when he stepped into the depression clinic of a mental hospital again, everyone around him was quiet and looked normal. In the past 20 years, he was delighted to find that depression, as a disease, was gradually recognized by the public consciousness.
However, when the disease really comes to a specific small family, the first reaction of the family is still a total denial.
When he first got sick, the pain fluctuated repeatedly for a year, and Jiang Han began to realize that he might have depression. 20 1 1 1 In February, she found a book while looking through a course material. The symptoms of the above depression are very similar to her own. She cried bitterly all noon and immediately decided to go to the hospital.
After the diagnosis, Jiang Han suddenly felt extremely relaxed. She cried in the hospital bathroom.
She was told that depression is not a simple bad mood, but a persistent depression, and usually the symptoms need to last for more than two weeks to be diagnosed.
She was also told that the medical community has so far been unable to give an accurate explanation of the cause of depression.
The sixth edition of Psychiatry describes the etiology of depression as: unknown etiology and unclear pathology. There are more than six hypotheses about various causes, including heredity, endocrine changes, inflammatory reaction and so on.
All the doubts that plagued and gnawed at myself finally gave Jiang Han the answer at this moment:? It turned out that I was not wrong, but I was ill. ?
Jiang Han picked up the phone and dialed all the familiar numbers excitedly. She wanted to tell each other that all her frightening changes were originally due to illness. But the response on the other end of the phone plunged her into darkness again.
? You made it yourself. ? Parents said. Almost all my friends around me think she is? Unhappy? Not at all? What's wrong with you? .
The same is true of Dai Sheng's experience. Some people say, nothing. Life is beautiful, right? What is depression, neuropathy? I don't understand. Why are you depressed when you eat and drink? Don't make trouble, just relax, okay? You're just a teenager. It's normal insomnia. It will be fine in a few days. You just don't want to go to school. What are you pretending? What depression is there, that is, full support? .
These words struck their already fragile nerves like hammers.
In order to avoid accidental injury, Dai Sheng has actively deleted more than 200 friends from QQ, and repeatedly stressed to her family what will definitely lead to her mental breakdown, including calling her, knocking on her door and asking her how she felt when she collapsed. But the family did the right thing.
After Ning He was diagnosed with depression, what was the first thing her parents told her? Don't tell your classmates, teacher? . In order to save herself, she read a lot of books on depression, bought a lot for her parents, and cried and begged them to read them, but those books were still on the shelf intact.
Many people with depression suffer from another kind of torture while they are sick. And this torture comes from the closest family and friends.
Li Xianyun, chief physician of huilongguan hospital Psychiatry Department, has worked for 26 years. She obviously felt the increase in the number of patients and the improvement of social awareness, but? Not enough? . She strongly opposes it? Depressed patients are weak-willed? This statement.
? You don't know how bumpy it is if you haven't walked the road they have traveled. It is also a kind of strength that they can survive. ? The doctor said.
20 15 joined the research team of Zhu, a scholar of Chinese Academy of Sciences, under the introduction of Cheng Qijin, an assistant professor at the Suicide Prevention Research Center of the University of Hong Kong. Between Beijing and Hong Kong, the three parties began to exchange telephone calls and emails frequently.
While the tree hole is getting more and more crowded, a group of experts are watching silently in the distance, and these eyes staring at the tree hole are increasing.
? I don't need to explain, because they all know?
In that secret tree hole, Ning He has paid attention to each other with more than 30 people. What do they call each other? Sick friends? . These people are pushed and forced by the indifference of the outside world, but they naturally come together.
There, Ning He found a long-lost understanding and tolerance in reality, and her sadness, pain and anxiety suddenly became abnormal. ? I don't need to explain, because they all know. ?
Many times, they will skip the daily greetings and share each other's most secret wounds directly. Apart from illness, what they talk about most is family.
Many comments Dai Sheng left in the tree hole were directed at his parents. ? Why, poor, poor to death, poor to the end? However, I have tried. Why not regard me as the first one? ? Why not praise me? ?
Dai Sheng, who grew up in a single-parent family, lived with his father since childhood and had little contact with his mother. The teacher asked to write a composition about maternal love, but she couldn't write it, so she had to hand in a blank sheet of paper. Lesbians in the class learn to comb their hair into various patterns and always leave only a ponytail. Mom said she? Don't you love micro-life very much? She takes a bath every day, three times a day in summer and once a day in winter. Mom said she was fat? Don't like yourself? She didn't eat for five days, only drank water, and insisted on not eating because of her stomachache until she cried. Until now, she thinks she is? Too ugly, too fat? .
Ning He said that her mother has always been strict with herself and has no trust. When I was sick as a child, my mother's first reaction was: Are you pretending? After suffering from depression, she often wakes up from nightmares in the middle of the night, then squats on the ground and knocks on her parents' doors until she wakes them up and cries? Why are you all so happy, only I am unhappy? .
In their self-analysis, family is the most fundamental and secret wound of the disease.
For decades, there are many related research results at home and abroad to support this view. In 2006, Chen, the chief physician of Shanghai Mental Health Center, and other experts investigated the family function of 94 patients with depression. The results show that compared with the healthy control group, there are obvious defects in family cohesion and adaptability of patients with depression.
? Family members may have to face a serious problem first, and they are likely to be the makers of the parties' problems. Qi hengyi, a psychological counselor, said, however, family also means that they are actually the most important and effective? Medicine? . If the family can thoroughly realize their own deviation and change it, it is extremely effective for the healing of the parties. ?
? But in fact this is basically impossible. ? He paused. This is equivalent to the most ruthless and thorough slap in the face, which often means completely subverting the core values that family members have held for ten years, which is more painful than cutting the flesh and removing the bones. ?
Family members are the closest people, and it is precisely because of the loss of distance that the harm they bring will be more precise and profound, and they will inadvertently drag their sick relatives into a darker abyss.
Many times, the patient in the tree hole is at the other end of this rope.
Ning He met a patient for the first time in Tianjin, who was another self in a distant land. When they are in a bad mood, they will comfort each other, encourage each other and set goals that need to be accomplished together. Can you at least do this before you die? .
Many strangers in this tree hole will leave WeChat and QQ for each other because of empathy, make an appointment to meet, slowly change from a patient in the virtual world to a friend in the real world, and drag each other along. They are light in each other's darkness.
? In most cases, this kind of communication is positive. ? Qi Hengyi said,? If the patient is in an information island, there will be many misunderstandings and detours in the treatment. The biggest positive impact of this network agglomeration is to get patients out of the information island state, which is a good interface to connect patients and society. ?
Li Xianyun, a psychologist in huilongguan hospital, believes that depression patients gather in cyberspace, largely because their own pain is not heard in the real world. ? If you give him a chance to speak, it will be of great help to the patient's condition. ? In this sense, the tree hole bears a part? Trash can? The function of.
20 1 1 16 one night in October, Ning He suddenly received a Weibo account? Psychological map PsyMap? Private letter from:? We read your comments in Weibo. Are you all right now? What is your emotional state? Subsequently, the telephone number of Beijing Psychological Crisis Intervention Center and an invitation link of questionnaire survey were provided.
The last sentence of the questionnaire is, In this unexpected corner of the world, there are people who care about your feelings and health? . She asked several patients, and they also said that they had received the same information.
The sender of the information is Zhu Research Team of China Academy of Sciences. This group, which has been looking at the hole in the tree from a distance, gave off a soft light.
? If you let him die, he may really die?
What Ning He didn't know was that this private letter of less than 200 words was the result of repeated revisions by several experts such as Zhu, Li Xianyun and Cheng Qijin. They organize interviews, design questionnaires, and constantly want to know what suicide people want to see.
Finally, combined with the research results, they decided that the writing of private letters should focus on expressing concern, humanizing the language and putting help-seeking information in it. They want to help these people, and they want to help them more? Do it yourself? .
According to the criteria for judging suicidal thoughts, including some negative words, Zhu used a computer to preliminarily screen about 70,000 comments about this tree hole in Weibo in the past six months. On this basis, he manually confirmed them, and finally identified 4,222 Weibo users who were at risk of suicide, and sent them private messages. Including Ning He.
? The current psychological crisis intervention still stays at? Passive waiting? If the situation is like an intervention hotline, you must wait until the other party calls for help. Zhu Dui said that if people who have suicidal thoughts can be actively found through the analysis of network data and provided with help, the timeliness will be higher. ? According to him, nearly 60% people in the high-risk group of suicide expect this kind of psychological crisis self-service.
In the interview, Dai Sheng specifically reminded? When a depressed person tells you a lot? I want to die? I don't want to suffer any more. Well, in that case, he is asking for help. Please help him. Your comfort may not make him change his mind or get better, but if you let him die, then he may really die? .
The premise of help is understanding. For people with depression, this is extremely extravagant.
The doctor prescribed Jiang Han sleeping pills and two antidepressants, but in the first two weeks of taking the medicine, she could only feel the side effects and had no curative effect. She vomited, her hands shook, trembled and yawned. Once I had dinner with my roommate in the canteen, and her hands were so shaky that she couldn't even hold chopsticks stably. The food she was holding fell off, and so did her chopsticks. Finally, her tears fell down. When the people next to her saw it, they knew that she might really be ill.
And she thinks these side effects are just compared with the pain she is experiencing inside? Not worth mentioning? . What about the pain? People who have never experienced it may never understand it? .
Dai Sheng described the pain like this: it magnified the sadness and bitterness of lovelorn love by dozens or even hundreds of times; Is to magnify the great grief of the unfortunate loss of family members several times; People who have experienced the war heard gunshots and their thoughts were taken back to the most painful time in the war. When people with depression get sick, it's like being taken back and going through it again and again. ?
Now, Ning He no longer expects this kind of understanding, but only hopes the people around him? Don't bother, just don't be the last straw to crush the camel, okay? .
She once saw a picture of a depressed patient lying in bed. Someone said to take him out for a walk, and another person lay with him. ? People with depression may need the latter more. If you want to help me, maybe you can try to understand me first. ? Ning He said,? But if you are not particularly close, don't bother, there is no need to make out. This kind of thing is contagious, just like a cold. ?
But at the same time, they are desperate for it? Impossible? Understand.
Ning He once walked out of the subway station, suddenly collapsed and began to cry. He called his friend and said he didn't want to live. The other party has been listening quietly and saying? It's okay. I'm listening. Are you crying? . Later, she never mentioned that she was out of control and wanted to commit suicide. Ning He suddenly felt very moved. Deep down, she doesn't want to be ignored or recognized, right? Terrible? And then what? Seriously? .
So when he saw the questionnaire in the private letter, Ning He immediately opened it and filled it out. She hopes that this small action can help this dark group and get even a little understanding.
Finally, the overall response rate of the questionnaire survey was 15%, and more than 600 people filled in the questionnaire. ? This participation rate is relatively positive. When doing this kind of user survey and invitation, the participation rate is usually 1% ~ 2%. ? Zhu said to:
The results show that 97.6% of users in this tree hole have suicidal thoughts to varying degrees, and 5 1.8% users have attempted suicide, among which 194 users attempted suicide in the last year, and 72 users have been treated by medical staff for suicide. In addition, during the manual inspection of 100 high-risk account, two users suspected of committing suicide were found.
Many people will never have a chance to fill out this questionnaire again. Someone always stays in this tree hole? Last words? And then suddenly disappeared.
Before the Spring Festival, a patient in Dai Sheng didn't reply and even deleted his friends. She's worried as hell, but she can't do anything except click and send the message again and again. Among the patients she knows, it is not the first time that she has not heard back.
Bar owners Qi Hengyi, a depressed Baidu bar, admits that such online groups sometimes have negative effects. In addition to extreme negative events such as fraud and contract death, on the other hand, some people will build interdependent friendships because of projection. Mutual harm that starts with dependence and support and ends with attack? .
One of the most important rules of Baidu Depression Bar is that it is forbidden to post with suicide or self-harm content.
What does Qi Hengyi think is a better model that has been ground for a long time? After the recovery of depression, patients are the main ones, supplemented by professionals? . A community with long-standing psychological problems is better than a temporary gathering, and it also has opportunities for evolution and management.
? Love may not get rid of loneliness, but it can tame loneliness?
20 16 12 15, Ning He published a Weibo:? Weibo will unload. I don't know the return date. Goodbye. Best wishes. ? Her depression is improving, and that tree hole full of sadness is too heavy for her at the moment.
Ning He had hoped for the end of this year countless times, but when 20 17 really came, she sat on the ground and cried. She suddenly realized that no matter how hard she tried, the future might not be as beautiful as she imagined.
Although medical research has proved that some patients with depression can be cured, Ning He often asks his patients: Do you think we can get better? What if we never get better?
Most of the time, all she got was a long silence. Jiang Han felt completely desperate after being diagnosed with recurrence. I'm afraid I'll never escape from this clutches? .
Zhu and his team of experts are racing against this despair.
His ultimate plan is to establish an online psychological crisis self-service system. If a user on Weibo is found to have suicidal thoughts, the computer will automatically identify and send a message to tell the other person what help they can seek. If there is a reply, a professional volunteer will communicate with it later.
According to his prediction, the system being built will be launched around May this year. If successful, it will be the first system in the world that can provide self-help intervention and service for psychological crisis. ? Can only say that the sooner the better, after all, is directly related to life and death. ?
Cheng Qijin, research assistant professor at the Suicide Prevention Research Center of the University of Hong Kong, has been committed to providing help in a wider cyberspace.
Now Baidu searches? Suicide? The first result that pops up is a 24-hour free psychological crisis consultation hotline, which reads? Although the world is not perfect, can we heal ourselves? . This is the result of repeated communication between Cheng Qijin and Baidu. Before that, she promoted the appearance of Google pages in Hong Kong? Life hotline? . So far, many countries and regions around the world have completed this work, including the United States, Canada, Ireland and so on.
According to the statistics of the World Health Organization, there are about 340 million depression patients in the world. This dark tree hole is just the tip of the iceberg of great sadness.
In order to save every life that may disappear, foreign researchers have also implanted this goodwill into smartphones through programs. What will people say when 20 1 1 Siri comes out? I want to jump off the bridge? Or? I want to shoot myself? Its answer may be the location of the nearest bridge or gun shop. In 20 13, after Apple consulted the national suicide prevention hotline, Siri's answer became? If you want to kill yourself, you might want to talk to someone? Will give the number of the suicide hotline and ask? Do you want me to call them for you? .
In recent years, after paying attention to this tree hole, Cheng Qijin has been hoping that a helper's tool can also be added to the Weibo system. With so many data resources and such strong computing power, this tool will certainly help more people? .
Many times, the tools for help are real people. Someone went to leave a message for all the people who want to commit suicide in the tree hole and tell them? The world is so big, why not go the other way? . Some people teach themselves psychology after they recover from depression, become national psychological counselors, and then come back here to patiently reply to every patient who believes in him privately.
Lost, gained and recovered, Ning He began to find his life little by little. She's in love. Boyfriend came to walk with her in the early morning of New Year's Day, cried with her, and told her what? The truth? .
What setting looked at him curiously, thinking? How can there be such a lovely person in the world? . She often compares her boyfriend to the connection point between her idealistic world and the real world.
? He just stood in another world and didn't drag me abruptly, which made me feel that the other world was beautiful and good for the first time. ? She said.
On the first day of the new year, Ning He received a New Year greeting from his patient. We have to live. ?
She used to think? Even love can't get rid of the loneliness that has been produced for so long? . But now, she can gradually accept that depression is a part of her body and begin to understand. Love may not get rid of loneliness, but it can tame loneliness? .
Jiang Han also began to work again. Although she is still taking medicine and shaking her hands with a spoon, she begins to accept the fact that she may never get well, and regards depression as a long visit? My period? .
This tree hole receives greetings and goodbyes every day. Some farewell is to end life, and some farewell is to move towards new life.
Dai Sheng is looking forward to the day when he leaves the tree hole in the dark. Every time I see someone leaving because of improvement, she always shouts in her heart:? Take me with you! I envy you. I still stay here. When can I comment? I was ready for this. I want to examine you. Goodbye, thank you? . ?
In order to resist the idea of suicide, she and other people who are still trapped in the tree hole made countless wishes: to buy black and white shell-headed sports shoes; Learn to skate; Go swimming in Dadonghai for an afternoon; Tell my sister that I really love her, but I am ill; Go to Tibet; Go to a concert?
After all, her only wish is to live well.
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