How can we avoid nagging?

Generally speaking, there are three main reasons why the elderly love to nag: First, the decline of physiology, especially brain tissue, makes the memory of the elderly decline, and what they have said is often easy to forget, so they always repeat what they have said. Second, the elderly are more face-saving and always treat adult children as dolls; Or because I tried to maintain my dignity and repeatedly emphasized my own ideas. Third, the old people's contact with new things and information is gradually decreasing, which makes them always talk about what happened in the past and like to talk about their past experiences. These are all signs of a person's mental aging. How can the elderly avoid nagging as much as possible? First of all, we should be able to correctly understand and face our nagging, and realize that this is a manifestation of normal physical and psychological decline. Secondly, in order to avoid forgetting, you can make a memo for yourself and record all the things you need to do and what you mentioned. Third, we should pay attention to strengthening study. Get more new information by listening to the radio, watching TV and reading newspapers. At the same time, we should have our own social circle, communicate with friends frequently and exercise the flexibility of our brains. Fourth, we should understand young people. I believe that young people have their own behaviors and can solve problems by themselves. When I put forward my own opinions, it is also "point to stop" and "for reference only". In the face of the old man's nagging, young people should realize that it is their care for themselves. If their opinions are incorrect, they can adopt the method of "verbal dissatisfaction" to maintain family harmony. Secondly, nagging is not the same as reminding Xu Lin. Many mothers don't admit their nagging, emphasizing that it's just to remind their children often out of concern. In fact, there is a big difference between nagging and frequent reminders. A common problem in family education is that parents nag their children, especially their mothers. I once met such a boy. Every Friday, other children can't wait to pack their bags and prepare to go home for the weekend, and he is always the last one to leave the campus. It turns out that he hates going home, because once he gets home, his mother will nag endlessly. He told the author helplessly: "I am a high school student, but my mother has to take care of what clothes I wear." You see how I can play basketball with so much on! " Therefore, he is willing to stay at school for a while, even if it is one more minute. Nagging is often accompanied by anger, impatience or sarcasm, and it is a repetitive request or accusation. Reminders, whether frequent or not, are friendly, trusting and respectful, without irritability, accusation, sarcasm and abuse. Frequent reminding is the responsibility of parents, which is helpful for children to accumulate experience, reduce mistakes and improve their self-control ability. The result of nagging is to annoy the other party, arouse his disgust, affect the parent-child relationship and destroy the educational effect; At the same time, it also affects the peaceful, warm and active atmosphere of the family, which is not conducive to the healthy development of children's personality. Since nagging is not good, why does mother still love nagging? The preliminary analysis may be due to the following reasons: ① Mother's care for her children and female personality characteristics. Women are careful, sensitive, sensitive and emotional, and sometimes it is difficult to control their emotions. Women are generally not as broad-minded as men, but they think more. Plus, besides work, I have to be busy with busy housework all day, which is easy to cause emotional tension and irritability. ③ For some women, it may be a sign of self-distrust. Because a person will only repeat what he said and did if he is not at ease. People who are weak and nervous are particularly prone to nagging. If a child lives in this nagging environment for a long time, it is easy to become an insecure and impetuous person. Then, what can parents do to avoid nagging and give useful reminders when educating their children? 1. Making good family rules and not telling parents everything endlessly not only interferes with children's normal life and study, but also makes children feel disgusted and even rebellious. Parents should work out a system of family rules and division of housework with their children to create a self-management environment for their children. Parents are responsible for supervision and inspection. 2. Develop a good habit of speaking neatly. Some parents are afraid that their children will suffer if they don't listen to themselves, so they will repeat it many times involuntarily, which will make their children feel that it doesn't matter whether they listen to adults or not. If you don't do what adults say, listen to your parents' nagging and anger at most, and you won't be punished. Therefore, parents must form the habit of saying anything to their children only once or twice, let them know the consequences of disobedience and learn to bear the irresponsible consequences themselves. Don't educate children when parents and children are in a bad mood. Educating children is a beautiful thing, not just oral preaching, but more importantly, the process of emotional infection, psychological affinity, and choosing kindness and obedience, which has a great effect on the spirit and emotion of parents and children. When parents are in a bad mood, they often nag endlessly with negative and extreme emotions, turning educating their children into distress, irritability and mental burden. Finally, it is necessary to remind mothers who lack self-confidence to talk with relevant psychological counselors, adjust their psychological state as soon as possible, reduce unnecessary nagging and enhance the feelings between parents and children. A cold won't do much harm, and drug treatment can cure it, but nagging is a stubborn psychological disease, which will only make the whole family suffer. A wife complained to her friend because she often nagged her husband to urge him to repair things, but he always put it off and worried about the repairman he found. On the one hand, he saves money, on the other hand, he feels that others are not as good as him in repairing things. A friend suggested that they make an agreement to give him 15 days to repair something at home and write a memo. A month later, his wife happily told her friend that she only hired a worker to repair it once. Indeed, many times, making rules in family life can often solve the contradiction between husband and wife and avoid nagging. Secondly, it depends on whether everything is nagging, regardless of priorities. If so, try to omit unimportant things and make rules only for important things. The third is to analyze the communication process. Communication must be clear and specific to avoid ambiguity. Never accept it: do it later or when you have time. This kind of answer is the most likely to cause nagging. For example, housework should be completed within a clear time. And explain what would have happened otherwise. Fourth, family meetings or small seminars should be held frequently. Take this opportunity to discuss what to pay attention to, when to do it and so on. Fifth, check whether the relationship between husband and wife or parents and children has deteriorated. If so, it is not enough to rely solely on the previous methods, but also rely on psychotherapy or psychological counseling to solve the fundamental problem. Finally, this is the most useful point. Whispering in a child's ear what to do is usually very effective. This kind of behavior shows a kind of intimacy in life and makes children feel comfortable psychologically. Sometimes, you have to save face for him. Don't talk about him in front of your brothers and sisters. At the same time, the child is very interested in this kind of "secret information", which can also increase his sense of self-importance.