A qualified consultant never makes sense to the visitors themselves, but teaches them to discover the truth and be able to make sense on their own initiative.
The job of a consultant is to let rational and irrational visitors learn how to reason with emotion. Or let rational visitors learn how to treat their feelings unreasonably.
It must be his reason or mood that the visitor comes to consult. On the one hand, he is unreasonable and goes too far. Therefore, there will be conflicts between reason and emotion, and fighting will easily affect the normal development of people's minds and even produce physical and mental reactions. At this time, he has to come to see psychological counseling or a psychologist.
So the counselor is a confused persuader. He must learn to assess the situation, sense motive, and attack Siirala.
When a person's reason goes too far, he quickly supports his emotions and helps visitors vent their emotions. When a person is emotional and irrational, he will help visitors to reason with emotion, calm him down and let reason nod more.
This kind of walking on the balance beam takes a lot of effort and tests skills. Then help a visitor who is not so safe and stable psychologically and physically learn to walk on the balance beam, which will test the skills and patience of the consultant.
Sometimes consultants know this truth clearly, but they just can't tell visitors directly. He should have all kinds of inspiration and inducement, wait and wait until the visitors have the will to discover this truth and finally have the ability to practice it.
Sometimes they are abandoned by visitors before they find this truth. So the counselor will also be very depressed: Are you unreasonable? Why did you run away before I told you the truth?
But there is nothing the consultant can do, because the customer is God and any truth of the visitor is truth. Visitors can be unreasonable, and consultants have to be reasonable. The consultant's reason must be based on the visitor's reason.
So many times, it's not the counselor who makes sense to the visitors. More often, the visitors instill too much truth into the counselors.
Then the counselor has to rack his brains to find out his irrationality among the thousands of reasons given by the visitors. Then carefully help the tourists see: wow, at that time, that point, I was so unreasonable!
Often at this time, the consultant can finally relax a little. Seeing is the beginning of healing, and the Long March has finally begun. It's hard! [Cover your face]
Sometimes counselors themselves are confused by the truth, and they don't know why. At this time, the counselor will spend several times more money than the visitor and ask his supervisor to help him manage the truth.
Therefore, consultants will always be poor, and their income will never keep up with the speed of expenditure. He doesn't understand what this is: why do I study so hard and practice so hard, but I always pay the tuition for psychology, but I can't make any money for psychology?
Why do so many counselors continue to do business at a loss when they can't make money? What is the truth?
Readers, I wonder who can make this clear? Who knows? Please have a try. [I want to be quiet] [Like] [Pray] @ Mingxin Xiao Yuan Let's talk about the truth about the counselor! [yi tooth] [laugh] [yeah]
Counselors may not know as much as visitors. So real psychological counseling is unreasonable. Sometimes, you feel that you have been saying that the counselor just asked a few random questions, but then you relaxed.
Psychological counselors interpret your inner world by themselves, and through psychological skills, let themselves truly realize their inner world, so as to make themselves change. But again, we won't directly tell us what we have read. It's not that we are suspense, because when you don't have an epiphany, those voices are blocked and you can't recognize them.
Therefore, psychological counseling is a complicated process and unreasonable.
When I meet a stranger, I'm full of it. I'm a stranger to psychological counselors and I'm happy to answer this question.
This question is very interesting and must be very common. Many people will probably have similar ideas. They think counselors are reasonable. They always say the same thing. In fact, psychological counselors are just the opposite of this image.
Strangers have made many friends, and their impression of the counselor is probably this: "I" asked my own question, and then the counselor kept saying, "You shouldn't do this", "You should do this", "I think that's why your question is" and so on.
In fact, psychological counselors are not like this, but may be the opposite image, so why do most people have this view? The root cause is the ignorance of psychological counselors.
If you ask these friends a question: "Have you ever been in contact with psychological counseling?" Strangers estimate that almost everyone will answer, "No.But I have seen it on TV!" " . This answer explains two reasons for psychological counselors' misunderstanding: subjective guessing tendency and misleading external information.
Misunderstanding or prejudice against psychological counselors is largely due to ignorance. We will guess what we don't know, which is human nature and applies to any professional image.
For example, all computer-related majors or occupations such as software engineering and computer technology will be simply summarized as "typing on the computer" and "repairing the computer"; Building engineering and civil engineering will be considered as "moving bricks", "repairing bridges" and "Gai Lou"; Accounting, cashier, finance and money are related, which can be considered as "counting money" and "accounting"
There is a psychological theory behind subjective guessing tendency, which is called availability deviation (or availability deviation).
Simply put, people's brains will be lazy, and we will only remember or accept knowledge that is more convenient to obtain and understand.
There used to be a popular video or joke called "get D, please respect my major", and I shared it with you from a stranger.
"Tang Xiao, I heard that your major in university is civil engineering?"
"yes, d. ..
"Well, go and help me move that pile of bricks."
"D, please respect this major, civil engineering is ..."
"Please talk about the nonlinear static wind stability theory of long-span plane load-bearing bridges."
"D, where are the bricks?"
As can be seen from the above, sometimes we are biased against certain things because we don't understand them, so we make subjective guesses about this matter by using some known information and finally form our own opinions.
On the basis of usability bias and subjective speculation, the following reasons lead to deeper and deeper bias: misleading external information.
Some external information mentioned by strangers here is self-mockery of people in their own professional circles and may be taken seriously. There is still a large part, which is misleading in film and television dramas. Many film and television works intentionally or unintentionally change the image of a profession without understanding or because of the need of the plot, which leads to the misleading of the audience to this profession. This situation has a particularly serious impact on psychological counselors.
Many TV dramas like to introduce the role of a counselor, or use psychological problems and counselors to explain or polish the plot. For example, many TV dramas like to tell stories about hypnotists (hypnotists, psychologists in ipartment), which leads many people to think that counselors can hypnotize, and some even think that counselors' skills are just hypnosis.
In addition to film and television dramas, there are many variety shows, entertainment and other TV programs, such as some emotional programs. In these emotional programs, some emotional instructors will say "I am a national second-level psychological counselor" and "I have a psychological counselor certificate", which will make people feel that psychological counselors are engaged in emotional mediation. In fact, the counselor's card may prove their identity. Having a counselor's card does not mean that they are counselors. Psychological counseling related technologies may help them to do emotional mediation, but psychological counseling is not equal to emotional mediation.
In addition to the emotional mentor, I am afraid there is another person named "Life Mentor"/"Cheng G Mentor", which has caused the public to misunderstand the psychological counselor. Suits and ties, impassioned talk about life on the stage.
"Do you want to be a G?" -"think"
"Do you want to be a G?" -"To"
"Can you be a G?" -"Can't ..."
"After listening to my class, you can become a G!" -"Good!"
False associations are related to misleading information from the outside world. It is precisely because these TV dramas, emotional programs and life instructors use false associations that we misunderstand psychological counselors.
Many people deeply agree after seeing the emotional mentor or life mentor speak a lot of big words on the stage, and the performance of "tears streaming down our faces" under the stage makes us more convinced that what the mentor said is very reasonable.
Because these tutors intentionally or unintentionally talk about some psychological knowledge, and at the same time flaunt that they have a counselor's certificate, or Z is a counselor, many people have established incorrect associations: ① having a counselor's certificate = counselor. ② Know psychology+be famous =Z counselor.
In fact, if you think about it, this connection is easy to break, but in the circle of psychological counselors, it is very difficult.
Have a driver's license = driver?
There is a level 4 Z book = English major?
Have a teacher qualification certificate G certificate = teacher?
It is a long way to go to solve the public's misunderstanding of psychological counselors.
Look at the definition first.
This definition is academic and simple. Let me explain it to you as a stranger.
First of all, psychological counselors should use psychological knowledge and have a theoretical basis, instead of "I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel". All consulting skills must be organized and supported by theory. For example, the commonly used cognitive behavioral technology (CBT) is mainly based on conditioned reflex in behavioral psychology.
Secondly, psychological counseling technology. Since the birth of psychological counseling, psychological counseling techniques are still emerging one after another, with more than 200 kinds of techniques alone. There are many kinds of technologies, which does not mean that there is no theoretical support. Every technology has its theoretical support. Therefore, technology is scientific, not just chatting. Each technology has its operational essentials. Generally speaking, every consultation is conducted according to certain rules. Generally speaking, each consultant has his own theory or technical school, and every consultation uses the same technical school.
Finally, psychological counselors help people solve psychological problems. What does this mean? Some problems do not belong to psychology, for example, I can't find a boyfriend/girlfriend, which is a real problem. Sorry, the counselor can't solve it. Some friends will ask, what problems do psychological counselors solve? Psychological counselors can help you solve the anxiety and pain caused by not finding a boyfriend/girlfriend. Anxiety and pain belong to emotion and inner experience, psychology and the work scope of psychological counselors. It sounds a bit circuitous, even ridiculous, but it's true.
As mentioned above, psychological counselors will use psychological technology to help visitors (those who receive psychological counseling are called visitors). How to operate specifically? Let me give some simple examples of strangers.
Consulting technology includes general technology and unique technology of various schools. General techniques include listening, content response and emotional response, guidance and explanation. There are many unique techniques of various schools, such as hypnosis, CBT (cognitive behavior L method) and Morita L method, which are familiar to everyone.
The most important thing is that the counselor has no prescription, which means that the way the counselor helps people is really through conversation.
The purpose of listening is to understand the situation and collect information. Only by fully understanding this problem can we solve it. The second is to help visitors clarify their own problems and what they want to express, because many visitors have psychological pain and it is difficult to clear their minds; The third is to accept visitors and give them warm support, because many visitors may face the incomprehension of people around them and lack psychological support and security.
Listening seems ordinary and simple, but for novice consultants, it is very difficult and needs constant practice. Listening is often combined with other technologies and runs through the whole consultation process. If you keep listening without feedback, visitors will feel that they are not valued and the counselor is useless, which will lead to the breakdown of the relationship between the counselor and the visitor. And if you can't grasp the key points and listen in general, you may not be able to fully understand the problem. Therefore, it is difficult to grasp how to listen, when to listen and what to listen to.
Improper listening will make visitors feel that it is useless for the consultant to listen to my crying without giving advice!
Many consultants like to compare themselves to a mirror and reflect visitors to TA all the time. Mirror image here mainly refers to content response and emotional response technology.
Many people who don't know about psychological counseling will think that psychological counselors always repeat what I said, which is useless.
In fact, like listening, the response is not a simple repetition. Careful analysis of the consultant's answers will summarize and refine the visitors' words and help them sort out their logic simply, instead of pouring out all their ideas.
In the actual consultation, we will find that many visitors are eager to solve problems, which leads to endless consultation at first, and then even forget what they said. At this time, the consultant needs to make a content response.
Other visitors don't realize how they feel about something, and the counselor will respond emotionally, so that visitors can see, "Originally, I feel this way about this matter, and I understand why I feel uncomfortable."
This sentence will expose another visitor's problem: he can't express his feelings, or just say "I feel terrible" in general. At this time, psychological counselors are also needed to respond emotionally to help visitors break down their emotions: is it because they are sad? Anger? Regret? Or other feelings?
By perceiving and decomposing feelings, we can get visitors' views on something, so as to analyze the source of their pain.
Interpretation technology refers to the psychological understanding of visitors' statements and problems by psychological counselors, giving new meanings, reasons and explanations to visitors' behaviors, thoughts or emotions, and helping visitors to look at their problems from a new perspective.
Many visitors will enter a state of "beating around the bush", that is, "walking into a dead end" in life. Because they are troubled and influenced by the current problems, they can't fully and objectively understand the problems, and there is a problem of "insider infatuation", so they need consultants as "outsiders and bystanders" to help visitors understand the current problems.
There is indeed a technology called guidance technology in psychological counseling technology, that is, psychological counselors give advice to visitors, guide them to find the root of the problem, or guide them to conduct some behavior training.
However, not all consultants are in favor of using guidance technology. They hope to help visitors understand the problem with an objective and neutral attitude and completely as bystanders.
In addition, it should be noted that even a few consultants who use guidance skills are limited to advising or helping visitors learn some behavior training skills, rather than blaming others and forcing others to accept their methods or values as you can see.
There are more than 200 existing psychological counseling schools, among which there are subdivided psychological counseling technologies, which may be countless. It is impossible for a stranger to master all the skills of a consultant, so there is no way to introduce too much.
Hypnosis should be the one that everyone listens to the most. Hypnosis is a technique commonly used by the dynamic school (the theoretical basis of psychoanalysis), but it is not only used by the dynamic school, and not everyone is suitable for hypnotherapy.
Secondly, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly popular in recent years. The theoretical basis of CBT is ABC theory:
A refers to objective events, B refers to our views on events, and C is the final result and feeling.
Alice believes that what ultimately leads to result C is not objective event A, but our view of event A..
If we can adjust our views on events, we can change the final emotions to a certain extent, and then achieve the purpose of regulating emotions.
Finally, Morita L method (also known as Zen therapy and radical natural therapy). The core of Morita therapy F is eight words: "Let nature take its course", which was founded by Professor Morita Shoma and named as "special therapy F" for neurosis. After Professor Morita died, his disciples named this therapy F "Morita Therapy F". "Let nature take its course and do whatever you want" is not doing nothing, but doing something, which is quite a bit of a philosophy of life.
The above is a brief introduction to the work of psychological counselors and the answer to this question.
Counseling is not a mysterious profession, but just one of 360 lines. I hope the public can know more about psychological counselors and have less misunderstandings and prejudices.
When I meet a stranger, I'm full of it.
Look at the world from a psychological perspective.
Reasoning becomes education, and there are still differences between psychological counseling and education.
Otherwise, we wouldn't charge hundreds to thousands of dollars per hour. There are more than 200 psychological counseling techniques in the world. The treatment of each technology is different. For example, psychological counselors who tend to psychoanalyze study the subconscious of visitors.
For example, from the subconscious point of view to explore the cause and effect of this person's behavior and relationship. Why didn't the visitor receive the criminal analysis? Before treatment, it was equivalent to touching the black pole road. There was a pit in front of the road, and he accidentally fell into it.
A visitor receiving psychoanalysis treatment is equivalent to adding a lamp to his journey. Although the pit on the road will not disappear, he can see the pit in front of the road with the help of light.
This is the process of realizing the subconscious. In other words, I raised the subconscious of the visitors to the level of consciousness. When this person's consciousness level expands, the probability of making mistakes will be greatly reduced.
Are all counselors reasonable? How to treat patients?
As a new profession, many people have misunderstandings about psychological counseling, and some think that psychological counselors are just preaching truth without substantial help, so they have resistance.
This kind of meaningful psychological consultation is to ask the psychological counselor about the confusion, problems and symptoms of the visitors, understand the relevant experience, the process of symptom formation, and understand what the visitors are afraid of and what is behind them. At this time, the listening skills of psychological counselors are needed. If psychological counselors have a deep understanding of the formation mechanism and laws of psychological problems, they can find the core problems in the narrative of visitors. Next, according to the information provided by the visitors, the counselor analyzes and explains the formation principle, the regularity and characteristics of the attack and the causes of the pain, gives the operational ideas of rehabilitation, and practices with the visitors in combination with the actual situation to gradually recover.
This process is to help visitors eliminate symptoms. Whether the best effect can be achieved depends on the consultant's ability and personality, the degree of recognition and cooperation of visitors, and the understanding and support of family members. If these three points are done, the recovery time will be shortened.
Blindly reasoning and listening will not have a good consulting effect.
Let's talk about it first If you think the counselor is telling the truth, then there are two possibilities: either you have not met the counselor, or you just listened to the counselor's lecture, or something like that, and you didn't really consult him face to face.
Secondly, psychological counselors generally listen more. Many people actually feel depressed and distressed because they can't find someone who really wants to sit down and listen, so sometimes psychological counselors are responsible for sincere listening. At the same time, you will record what you confide, ask questions at key nodes appropriately, and trigger you to continue to spread what you confide.
Sometimes, when people really talk to a stranger about their inner troubles, the depressed mood is better than half.
Finally, in addition to the real mental problems, of course, this needs to be evaluated by a professional psychologist. Many times, the psychological counselor is a new perspective for you to think. Instead of imposing some facts on you. Truth, not thinking, understand?
Many people are depressed, distressed and obsessed, mostly because they can't find a reason that really convinces them. They can't find it because of the limitation of thinking. At this time, a psychological counselor, a good psychological counselor, will provide you with some unexpected angles of thinking, and sometimes just one sentence can untie a knot.
I wrote an article before, and the knot is sometimes a matter of one sentence.
It is almost unreasonable for a psychological counselor to consult a visitor.
Reasoning plays little role in psychological counseling, and a psychological counselor who can only reason is definitely not a qualified psychological counselor.
Damasio once did an experiment: Eliot was a successful lawyer, and his right brain was removed because of a tumor. After the operation, Eliot was normal in many ways, but he couldn't make any decisions, even the simplest ones.
Damasio's research proves for the first time that human decision-making is not made by the left brain that processes data and information, but by the right brain that processes stories, emotions, colors and humor, which is contrary to people's expectations.
In other words, if you want others to make different decisions, it is not enough to just provide information to others, because a person makes decisions not only by logic, but also by feeling. You need to stimulate his inner feelings and feelings in communication.
Therefore, in psychological counseling, the first thing our counselors do is to release the bad emotions of the visitors. When the pent-up emotions are perceived and released, visitors will feel relieved of a heavy burden.
When the heart is relaxed, the reason will return and the mind will be clear. We will take visitors to explore their inner world with their feelings, let them see their own thinking patterns and behavior patterns, and arouse their feelings.
The consultant only leads the whole consultation process. When visitors see the truth of a thing clearly, they will have a feeling of "so it is" in their hearts. When the feeling changes, the change comes.
Reasoning is only the transmission of logical information, which many visitors understand, but courtiers don't! Counselors solve the problem of "what makes them unable to do it".
A girl from Grade Two came to see me. She said that as soon as she sat in the classroom, she felt someone pulling her belly behind her back, which was very painful. When she got home, nothing happened.
Through consultation, I learned about the girl's experience. Five years ago, her parents divorced and she married her father, who never remarried for fear that she would be wronged. Last year, by chance, she found that there seemed to be traces of women at home, but she didn't tell her father. She consciously felt that her father should find another one.
The essence is this incident, which aroused the girl's subconscious insecurity, but she felt that she couldn't say it, which seemed to hinder her father from finding a girlfriend, so she suppressed this emotion in her heart. After a long time, it got bigger and bigger, which caused her stomachache, because she could only stay at home if she was sick, and other women were not allowed to enter this house.
After exploring these truths, she saw her real thoughts clearly, at the same time, she also dealt with some childhood trauma and had some communication with her father. Slowly, the burden in her heart was released, her sense of security came back, and her stomach was cured.
In consultation, the counselor is unreasonable, but always stimulates the feelings of the other party and feels the feelings of the other party. When the visitor's feelings change, the person will change, make different choices and be responsible for himself.
Simply put, for a professional psychological counselor, reasoning is more about the evaluation of his working principles than the means of work.
Psychological counselors follow the counseling ethics, professional skills and general processes of psychological counselors in the whole process of facing and consulting visitors. From this perspective, every qualified psychological counselor should be a reasonable person. In this way, when there are principled problems and some unexpected situations, we can be responsible for visitors and ensure the safety of consultants.
In the process of consultation, it is sometimes helpful to properly clarify the truth, that is, the general truth in the process of cognition and thinking, and to help visitors clarify and sort out the unreasonable parts of their ideas. It's not that the counselor is telling the truth in the consultation process and acting like a life mentor.
Simply put, psychological counselors do not participate in treatment, let alone face patients. In fact, the objects of psychological counseling are clearly divided, generally including groups with normal psychology and some groups with abnormal psychology. In other words, visitors have not reached the level of mental illness, so we can help them solve some psychological puzzles and problems through psychological counseling expertise and help them better cope with life events. Therefore, the objects faced by psychological counselors are generally called visitors or visitors, not patients. The word patient is usually the object of work faced by psychiatrists who need a medical license.
As for psychological counselors, it is through mature and systematic psychological counseling techniques, such as listening, * * * feelings, open questions, closed questions and so on. , relying on the professional theoretical background, to carry out the work, to ensure effective counseling, to promote the self-growth of visitors, to obtain the motivation and intention to solve problems.
The counselor is not reasonable, but accompanying the imitator to help him find the bright spot in himself. Imitators often get stuck in a certain position because of emotional block and can't see the truth clearly. At this time, psychological counselors need to use some consulting skills to help visitors clear their minds and get out of the maze.
If it is reasonable to insist on psychological counseling, there is no problem, it is indeed reasonable, only on the basis of visitors' questions, and it also includes skills such as listening, empathy, appeasement and guidance.