The earth has become a "dead ball" that cannot survive.
"Come out, come out quickly, hurry up ..." Jingjing is studying a tree that can live and be green, and it grows quickly. Other scientists are waiting for Jingjing's great invention.
"Oh!" With a loud cry, the tree was finally developed. Jingjing immediately informed people all over the world who were anxious. At this time, people have no hatred, because they don't even have basic shelter and food and clothing, which is their karma ... Hearing this news, human beings cheered. This kind of cheer is not the cheer of winning the battle and occupying the country, but the "swan song" on the line of life and death.
"Next, I want to announce the usage and introduction of this tree." Jingjing proudly said, "This kind of green and living tree is called' green living tree' for short. We plant it on the land, whether it is fertile or not. Its growth rate is very fast. It can live for a minute. When we want to go in, just press the button next to the tree root. After we go in, there is also a button in the symmetrical position. The' green living tree' can know its owner. It recognized you when you first went in. Remember, when you enter the house for the first time, if there are several people, you must enter in turn, so that it can recognize several people as owners at the same time. We need to care about the' green living tree' and water it, but we don't need to fertilize it. Ok, now the staff will send it to everyone. "
Because the earth lost its "ecological balance", some large animals on the earth no longer exist. Only those little insects are left. Although the "green living tree" can live on people, it is still a tree. Small insects that only live on the earth multiply rapidly through trees. Gradually, there are more insects. Those insects keep eating the leaves of green trees. Before long, the "green living tree" has been fragmented. The earth will soon become a world of insects.
Now people produce a large number of "pesticides" and distribute them to every household. They spray potions on the "green trees" every day. In a few days, the "green living tree" not only recovered its health, but also became bigger and more lush than before. Human beings are very happy.
The good times didn't last long. It is strange that almost everyone is ill. They can't get out of bed all day, and they don't know what the problem is.
Jingjing entered the research again ... Later, it was found that this common "pesticide" would make the "green living tree" more lush, but it would stimulate the nerves of the "green living tree" and make it attack humans.
Humans are silent again. ...
[classmate's point of view]
Environmental problems are becoming more and more serious, and it is also one of the focuses that people pay attention to at present. It can be seen that the importance of the environment and the destruction of the environment by human beings are no longer novel. However, the author writes this question in an eclectic way, describing humorous pictures by imagining the future life state, and reminding people not to regret everything they have done now while guiding and protecting the environment. The language is plain, profound, imaginative and realistic, and rhetoric is seldom used and profound. (Cha Li Juan)
[Instructor Jin Dian]
It's a good idea to pay attention to human beings and the environment and write these questions down. This paper uses reasonable imagination to reflect the problems that mankind will face. The ending is thought-provoking
However, there is no need to describe in detail how humans entered the green living tree. (Venus flashes)
[Notes after writing]
( 1)
The article takes the future environment as the main line to describe future events. The article is very attractive, the content is ups and downs, and it is very readable. It also clearly embodies the theme-protecting the environment and protecting the vegetation on the earth, otherwise the consequences will be unimaginable. Life is very realistic.
(2)
The language of the article is very delicate, the introduction is very specific, and another idea expressed in the article is also very prominent. However, the rhetorical devices in the article are rarely used. However, this narrative sci-fi composition still needs to be described by rhetoric, so as to make the article more vivid and perfect.
(3)
The most prominent problem of the article is that the materials are not new. Although the description is vivid and lovely. But for this kind of science fiction article, it should be written more "confusing". Only in this way can the theme reflected in this kind of article be better reflected.
(4)
The reviewers are very serious and responsible. The outstanding problems in the article are clearly put forward. The advantages of the article were also praised. Only in this way can we improve our writing level.
(5)
I hope the teacher will give us more time to think, so that we can write better articles.
Never save.
Anhui Lujiang No.4 Middle School Qunxing Literature Society (23 1500) Jinjing
As soon as he set foot on this planet full of yellow sand, Bei Hanzhe, the captain of the expedition team, looked disappointed again: "Is it naive to let our people die out in this disaster?" ……"
Before leaving, my sister's cry still lingered in my ears: "Brother, you must find the most beautiful planet so that God's people can continue to survive ..."
As a great people of sibillat, it is natural for him to shoulder the arduous task of finding an environment to continue his life. I still remember that 30 years ago, sibillat was a paradise-like planet, dotted with lakes and dense trees. But in just 30 years, human beings have unlimited access to resources. Today's sibillat planet is a living shura hell. The crisis of survival has been repeatedly mentioned, and only with the interstellar exploration and the task of "absolute rescue" at this time will he appear here.
"Report captain, has now reached its destination-the earth. Please indicate! " He suddenly woke up and quickly recovered the calmness of a captain. "Conduct routine detection to find traces of life." The players were divided into groups and dispersed.
An hour later, the first team returned: "Report, no living matter was found." The second group: "Report, no creature found" ... Everyone is almost back, and the test results are as usual. This is obviously a dead planet without life. Beizhe sighed coldly.
Suddenly, the team member Yisi sent back a message through the current: "Captain, come quickly, it's very strange here!" " "Beizhe cold heart a joy, don't ... The players rushed to the scene of the accident.
I saw israel by a stone wall, waving to everyone. "What is it?" BeiZhe cold sink a voice asked. "This stone wall can be opened and closed. Obviously not naturally formed. Maybe ... "Bei Han Zhe interrupted him. "Open it." When Israel carried out the order, I saw a loud noise and the stone wall slowly separated to both sides, and everyone filed in.
It's dark inside. Suddenly, a middle-aged man appeared in front of him, dressed in strange clothes, with a faint white light all over his body, which was very clear in the dark. It's a stereoscopic image. There's life here! The idea flashed through everyone's mind, but no one said anything. The person in the image opened his mouth and said, "I am a person on the earth." Hello, the child who saw this video, please allow me to call you that. Just today, no, 3059 10/3, the earth will completely perish. It's all our fault. We overexploited nature, and for our own benefit, the original vibrant earth became barren ... In order to continue life on earth, we sent some human beings to sibillat, a planet where life can survive, so that they can continue to create a new future on that planet ... Children who are lucky enough to see this video, I hope you will remember the lessons of the people on earth ... "
The image gradually blurred until it disappeared. Bei Han Zhe and the players were dumbfounded; We are descendants of earthlings, and we personally destroyed another "earth". Our hands killed the lives of two planets. ...
In extreme despair, the expedition returned to sibillat, Iraq, and no longer considered prolonging life. If you continue to be cruel, who is qualified to destroy the beauty of the next planet?
[classmate's point of view]
You described that the descendants of the earth people came to the earth to seek a new living environment because of the ecological crisis, only to find that they had destroyed two planets. This idea is very clever. Not only is the content very attractive and full of twists and turns, but the main idea of the expression is also very clear. Effectively educate people to protect the environment and benefit future generations. (Chen) According to
[Instructor Jin Dian]
This article is profound and enlightens people to protect the environment and the earth, otherwise they will regret it.
Using science fiction story, the writing intention is contained in the story, which has certain appeal.
The story is reasonable and complete, imaginative and ingenious, and the setting of waves has achieved good results. (Venus flashes)
[Notes after writing]
( 1)
The article is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and the content expressed is also thought-provoking. It records that the descendants of earthlings came to the earth to find a new living environment because of the ecological crisis, but they were surprised to find that they were descendants of earthlings who immigrated to other planets, which profoundly revealed the theme. If we don't stop destroying ecology, no matter how many planets will be destroyed.
(2)
At the beginning, I set a very unusual background for the full text. The so-called aliens landed on the earth, but the earth was a mess. Then gradually solve the mystery, the earth people destroyed the earth, and then destroyed the planet sibillat in Iraq, but turned to explore the earth. This is ridiculous, but it is not impossible. The future world should be in our own hands.
(3)
The biggest problem of this paper is that some plots are too vague and ambiguous. You can add a few strokes appropriately to explain.
(4)
The reviewer of this article is very careful and points out the shortcomings. Of course, she also captured my inner feelings when writing this article, and I am very grateful for it.
(5)
I hope the teacher can find some topics that are suitable for us and we like to write, so maybe we can write better.
Yu He
Anhui Lujiang No.4 Middle School Qunxing Literature Society (23 1500) Xu Rong
Inscription-straight green stem
Pieces of jade lotus leaves
Never bend over.
Always so supportive.
supportive ...
The rain in early autumn is like a broken bead.
Roll down from the white cloud box in the sky
Rolling on flowers and plants,
"Flowing" tears;
Fall into a small puddle
Into hydrosphere and foam.
Naughty raindrops fell on the lotus leaf face.
reunion of a couple after an enforced separation or rupture
Convergence and fracture
Finally, bright pearls are formed.
Helpless tremor
"What a beautiful Yu He!
What beautiful pearls! "
-No one doesn't admire that.
Even the rocks on the shore were shaken by it.
Leave poems sung by literati and poets.
So,
Flowers and trees all bent down in admiration.
Surrender to the beauty and nobility of Yuhe.
Yu He
Indifference ...
Dangyuzhu
When it slowly merged into a brilliant diamond,
Yu He smiled and shook his body.
Let the water drop be divided into several small balls,
Slide into the swimming pool,
Spread out with a bang.
Into the gurgling water ...
The sound of running water and raindrops merged into one.
Endless laughter
With a faint scent of Yu He.
Filled the whole sky
Ps-
In the mist, a girl is holding a green umbrella.
With Yu He.
Standing in the autumn rain
Staring at the pond for a long time.
[classmate's point of view]
Sigh the author's sensitive heart and write such a beautiful poem. What makes the author so addicted to rain lotus? Perhaps it is the elegant scenery in the rain like Yu He, or perhaps it is more moved by the spirit of Yu He.
The language of this poem is clear, describing Yu He from many angles. In the face of people's praise and the presentation of flowers and trees, Yu He was indifferent, which set off Yu He's lofty spirit.
As a poem, this poem has an inscription and a postscript: this makes readers discover that everything is new and unique. (Tang Wei)
[Instructor Jin Dian]
This is a delicate prose poem, with a rigorous structure and clear organization, which is very attractive to read. The author's delicate emotions make the article's handling of details meticulous and beautiful, which is very valuable. The article is full of rich connotations and spiritual insights, and it is a metaphor for people. From it, we can read that the author is actually a clear and fresh person. (Xing) According to
[Notes after writing]
Ancient literati, with a scholarly family, often named women "Yu He", which is quite poetic. Only by watching it in the rain can you understand the meaning of the lotus leaf. Yu He will not be bound by a rich life, nor will he be greedy for vanity. Because of the praise of others, raindrops gathered in large quantities, which made him bear too much burden and finally could not escape the fate of being broken. She clearly knows this. Drops of water bring brilliance as well as pain to her, so Yu He smartly takes off her gorgeous coat and willingly becomes an ordinary but not vulgar person.
Yu Lian
Yu Ji (23 1500), Qunxing Literature Society, Lujiang No.4 Middle School, Anhui Province
Be a princess in a black dress on the dance floor and play a lonely beauty who jumps out of the bustling city. The colorful and charming black dress shines brightly, and the luxurious brilliance contains a deep mystery.
-inscription
When I was walking alone on a country road, it was raining in Mao Mao, and everything was quiet. Large flowers were clustered together and dressed all over by the rain, as if preparing to attend a grand banquet after the rain.
Rain is kind.
It always comes to this world when people need it, like a dancing fairy, waving her beautiful and enchanting limbs. Wherever it goes, there will be a green ocean, that is, she takes off her delicate dancing shoes.
Rain is lovely.
It playfully knocks on the neighbor's glass window, ticks, ticks, slides down from the window eaves, slides into a clean, warm and elegant room, and blends into a dazzling light with the lanterns in China.
The rain is beautiful.
It is the tears of the beauty in the deep palace, lamenting the changes and desolation of the world. It is also the pity of God for her. Nothing can comfort people. This is the color of the night of precipitation, and the old man has already left. In this summer evening breeze, there will be epiphyllum blooming in the next second.
The rain is warm.
It is tender as water, and only in the rainy season will there be lingering feelings. It is like the true witness of White Snake and Xu Xian on the broken bridge, and it is the source of melancholy. It is complete and independent. Who can understand the wonderful behind loneliness? That kind of rippling beauty, gentle and green, spreads around like branches and vines. ...
Rain, persistent and somewhat reserved, rain, pure, simple and natural, simple and fresh, the essence of which is created by nature.
[classmate's point of view]
This article is a beautiful essay. The author accurately wrote the characteristics of rain with delicate emotional strokes and poetic rhythm. The inscription is a beautiful scenery that attracts people's attention. Using rhetorical devices such as parallelism and personification to reflect the kindness, loveliness, sadness and warmth of rain, it can be seen that the author's ingenuity and fluent language left a deep impression on people. The ending is the classic pen of this article, punning, "its essence lies in nature." Meaningful, rhyming but touching. (Xin Li)
[Instructor Jin Dian]
This article is an excellent essay, which describes rain from four aspects, humanizes it, gives it different meanings, is delicate in emotion, expresses it appropriately, and deepens the theme by using various rhetorical devices. This is a very well-written prose work. (Xing) According to
[Notes after writing]
This paper writes the rain scene from a brand-new angle, not only from the visual aspect, but also from the auditory and sensory aspects. The expression technique is very novel, especially the anthropomorphic expression technique is used to write the rain beautifully: "it is like a dancing fairy, moving its beautiful and enchanting limbs;" It is the tears of the beauty in the deep palace, lamenting the changes and desolation of the world; Tender as water, sentimental only in rainy season ... "
This paper describes the image of rain delicately, as if there is rain between the lines, humanizing the rain and giving it different meanings, so as to achieve the artistic effect of integrating scenery with scenery.
The result is the finishing touch of the article, which describes the characteristics of rain: "pure, natural, simple, simple and fresh". If some sentences in the article are further tempered, the expression effect may be better.
Late winter and early spring
Tang Wei (23 1500), Qunxing Literature Society, Lujiang No.4 Middle School, Anhui Province
Instructor: Xing
"Tick-tock, tick-tock" There was a dripping sound outside the window. Looking through the window, it was the sound of snow melting and dripping from the eaves in early spring. Sitting by the window, crisp and sweet, like a pearl falling into a jade plate.
Looking at the scenery outside, I picked up a book from the shelf. The first volume of the seventh grade Chinese turned over the pictures in front of the book, and suddenly a beautiful picture came into my eyes-spring.
In front of this spring photo, the background is a rape flower, half of which is golden yellow rape flower and half is green cauliflower and grass. Yellow and green set each other off, giving people a sense of beauty and prosperity in life, and making people feel the warmth of spring and the beauty of nature. There is a little red between yellow and green. This is a lovely little girl. The little girl, wearing a red coat and a red hair band, is about 5-6 years old, hunched over and holding a flower basket, picking wild flowers. Such a lovely little girl adds beauty to the picture, and the combination of dynamic flower picking and static rape blossoms makes people feel lifelike. Rape blossoms, spring comes, and everything recovers; The little girl came, the spring of life came, and everything was a little more aura. Man and nature are so harmonious.
Looking at it, it seems that spring has been felt. Standing on the soft grass, the breeze gently caresses the cheeks, bringing cool air, mixed with the smell of earth and the slight fragrance of rape flowers, full of lovely and vibrant colors such as green, red, yellow and blue, as well as people wearing bright spring clothes flying kites and picking flowers, and white clouds in the blue sky, as if waving to people. ...
I really should thank the photographer of this photo. He (she) has such a pair of eyes and a pair of skillful hands that are good at capturing beauty, showing such beautiful scenery and clicking on people's hearts.
Looking at the dripping water on the eaves outside the window. I think: winter is over, can spring be far behind?
[classmate's point of view]
In this paper, the author not only describes photos, but first sets suspense to describe the scenery, show spring, and show the hope and joy of spring. Bright colors give people a lot of beautiful reverie, and also write the author's inner desire to pursue brilliant spring. When the title is "late winter and early spring", the author's writing motivation also stimulates the reader's voice. Yes, winter is silent. (Murphy)
[Instructor Jin Dian]
This article can be a lyric prose with unique and novel writing style. With a photo, it evokes readers' infinite reverie and makes people think. It is a natural law that winter goes and spring comes, but this article is unique and pays attention to detail description, which is the biggest highlight of this article. The author's delicate feelings are everywhere. It is also described from the senses of vision, touch and smell, which embodies the breath of life and the beauty of the picture. (Xing) According to
[Notes after writing]
This article is about the author's experience of seeing a beautiful picture in late winter and early spring. Praise the harmony between nature and human beings and the hope of life. The difference is that this article writes spring scenery by looking at pictures and imagination, which can give readers more imagination space. The last sentence of the article, quoting famous sayings, sublimates the main idea.
The feeling of four seasons interweaving
Anhui Lujiang No.4 Middle School Qunxing Literature Society (23 1500) Hu Qin
Sun and moon nebulae, flowers, insects and fish, mountains and rivers, lakes and seas ... they decorate our lives and bring vitality to the earth. Spring, summer, autumn and winter are the objects of literati singing. Especially the wind in spring, the rain in summer, the frost in autumn and the snow in winter can better represent the different flavors of the four seasons. Let me discuss their respective characteristics.
The spring wind, in my impression, is as gentle as willow silk and as warm as the spring drizzle. It blows dust and scraps of paper everywhere. It blows flowers and trees slowly, making them more vibrant. Sitting in this fresh, moist and crystal clear vast space reveals a quiet, gentle and fresh feeling.
Summer rain, sometimes dull, sometimes cheerful, sometimes intense, staggered and changeable. It has no tenderness and is not refreshing. In my feeling, there are only bleak and desolate. Its voice is noisy and serious, mixed with good and evil people, revealing a sad, desolate and lonely atmosphere.
The autumn frost covering the leaves, like a little star in the blue sky and a pearl, is crystal clear, which is even more flawless in the morning under the red sun. "Frost" reminds me of Li Bai's idea on a quiet night. With such bright light at the foot of my bed, will there be frost? . This picture will immediately appear in front of my eyes, lonely night, silently looking up at the bright moon, missing my hometown, there is an extraordinary feeling.
Finally, talk about the snow in winter. It's winter clothes, and the heart of winter is that you dress the earth white and generous. It is you who chose the warm clothes of the same color for the creatures on the earth, who brought the cheerful smiles of the children, and who made the originally turbid air look brand-new. Your appearance has aroused people's infinite association. Compare you to a daily necessities. Imagine you are dancing in the air with white catkins scattered by women all day. How can you not bring me excitement, brightness and purity?
[classmate's point of view]
Through the vivid description of a certain feature throughout the year, I show my love for the beautiful scenery of nature and my love for a better life. The article is full of literary colors, and uses a lot of metaphors and figurative words to make the sentences concise and easy to read. (Hu Fei)
[Instructor Jin Dian]
This paper vividly describes the beautiful scenery of the four seasons, full of vitality, as if another year had passed. The language of the article is concise and powerful, which just constitutes a picture of the four seasons. The article is clear and clear, which makes people clear at a glance, fluent in writing and clear in emotion. At the same time, the metaphor of the article is vivid and vivid, which turns the article into film and television material and adds a lot of color to the image of the article. (Xing) According to
[Notes after writing]
Life is beautiful, and the great rivers and mountains of the motherland are beautiful. Come back year after year all year round. I want to use my clumsy pen to praise the beautiful life and the intertwining of four seasons. This paper mainly uses various rhetorical devices such as parallelism, personification and metaphor to express the personality of the four seasons in many aspects, angles and levels. After reading this article, you will feel that you have been in a trip to the pictorial world, not only enjoying the different landscapes of the four seasons, but also feeling the uniqueness of the four seasons, and enjoying my feeling of blending into nature and returning to nature. This article is very immature. Please correct me.