Case 1: Tong Tong, who has just entered school, wants to borrow stationery from his classmates because he forgot to bring his pencil case to school. Unexpectedly, I happened to be seen by the teacher and thought that Tong Tong's speech was not in line with classroom discipline. After class, I took Tong Tong to the office to give a lecture. When I got home, I didn't dare to mention it, for fear that my mother would blame me. I can only sulk.
In fact, many children will encounter similar things when they enter school, but why do children dare not tell their parents when they are misunderstood and wronged? A big reason is the improper way of parents' education. Some parents care too much about their children's grades and lack daily communication with their children. Parents will blame the child for not telling the truth, so the child would rather put away his grievances than share them with his parents.
So how do parents solve this problem? First of all, parents should learn to observe their children, whose emotional world is not as rich as that of adults. Emotions and sorrows are often written on the surface. If parents find that their children are in a bad mood, they should take the initiative to ask. What a mother has to do is to create a relaxed atmosphere for her child and let him really open his heart.
Pay attention to the tone and way of asking, and don't ask the child what happened in a forced tone. Don't let children learn to understand others when they don't want to.
Communication between people needs mutual understanding and care. When you love your children, you should also let them know that others need his love. In this way, children can understand and care about the wishes of others in communication and become considerate.
Take this case as an example. Parents not only need to guide their children to form a correct view on this matter, but also need to let them learn to understand the teacher. Is the teacher doing this to make everyone study harder? Let the children know that the teacher's blame for him is for the sake of the whole class, and I hope everyone will not be distracted in class. Even if the teacher's judgment is wrong, his starting point is good.
This kind of empathy makes children learn to be tolerant and polite. When you are unhappy and have conflicts with others, you should calmly deal with them through empathy. There will inevitably be friction between people. As long as it's not a matter of principle, you don't have to get angry easily. It's about putting yourself in others' shoes, understanding others and putting yourself in others' shoes. When others wronged themselves or hurt themselves unintentionally because of misunderstanding, they should be forgiven. Children understand this truth, which is conducive to being a man when they grow up.
To understand others, we need to start with the little things in life.
Many children are used to littering, or they don't want to walk more than a few steps near the trash can. This is not only uncivilized, but also easy to develop children's selfish personality. As role models for children, parents should set an example by leaving garbage in the trash can, no matter how far it is. Little things like this are too numerous to mention. Parents usually think twice, and children's good habits can be developed smoothly.
3. Guide children to solve problems
Case 2: Lele is an introverted and timid child. Xiao Wei, a classmate, is a "bully" with a overbearing personality. So at school, Xiao Wei wanted to take the beautiful things of Lele for himself, often taking them away without Lele's consent, and even hitting people because Lele didn't agree. This made Lele very angry, but she was too timid to speak and let herself be bullied.
When encountering such problems, parents should first calm down. We can't solve it by "fighting violence with violence" just because children are bullied. It is necessary to help children distinguish right from wrong and get out of trouble.
First of all, let the children know that it is a wrong performance to start hitting people by asking them if it is good to start hitting people. Xiao Wei was wrong and should be criticized.
Then, try to solve the communication problem between the two children. What action can Lele take besides patience? This is my mother's most concerned problem, and it is also the problem that needs guidance most. First try to comfort the child's broken heart and let him stabilize his mood first.
Discuss with him again. Why did Xiao Wei bully him? Is it because Xiao Wei thinks you don't regard him as a friend? You can encourage children to communicate with Xiao Wei more, help them become good friends, and learn to share interesting things with friends.
If Xiao Wei's attitude towards Lele remains unchanged. Then mothers need to guide their children and learn to protect themselves. You can also show the problem to teachers and parents and discuss with them how to solve it.
At the same time, parents also need to reflect on whether their children have any problems.
Why do you ask such a question? Although Xiao Wei's behavior is wrong. But Lele also has problems. It is precisely because Lele is not confident enough, timid and lacks communication with her classmates that she is easily considered bullied by some overbearing children. Therefore, it is also important for parents to guide their children to solve their own problems. You can give your child more praise, let him participate in more group activities, and make his personality more cheerful and generous.
Ask hard when you say it You can communicate like friends, such as "Mom is your good playmate now. What interesting things did you meet at school today? " ? Still unhappy? "
When the child speaks out grievances, the mother should give him psychological counseling and education. Parents are not required to send negative messages to their children, such as "the teacher misunderstood you, and the mother went to the teacher to make it clear." We shouldn't put all the "mistakes" on the teacher.
Mom should solve it differently on the basis of knowing the facts. If it is really the fault of the teacher or others, the mother should tell the child clearly that he has done nothing wrong. In the mother's mind, he is still a good boy, but there is a little problem in communication with the teacher, as long as the child improves in this respect.