There was a time when it was very popular online: you were in charge of making money to support your family and I was in charge of beauty. The person who said this sentence is a woman and should want to express her yearning for marriage. Unexpectedly, as soon as it was published online, it attracted the attention of countless women.
In contrast to the enthusiasm of women, it is the attitude of men. Most men don't agree with this sentence from the bottom of their hearts. This is also intriguing. Maybe many men don't agree with this kind of married life.
But this sentence does make many women feel that the perfect marriage should be like this. In fact, this sentence is nothing more than expressing an idea, that is, finding a man to support himself.
This is one of the simplest wishes in women's hearts, but many people have not found that this idea is actually wrong and extremely stupid.
Why do you say that? Because in marriage, husband and wife should be evenly matched. Only in this way can the marriage last long and the relationship between husband and wife will not deteriorate. In this sentence, all the money to support the family is given to the man, which means that women should give up their right to economic independence and entrust themselves completely to men.
-02-
Without independence, women can only rely on men, which breaks the balance in marriage and becomes a situation in which men are strong and women are weak. Over time, women will lose their right to speak in marriage, and if they meet some unfaithful men, the marriage will be turned upside down.
Therefore, women should remember that this sentence is only a good wish, and they must maintain their independence in real life, especially economic independence. Women should ensure that they can support themselves at all times. Otherwise, once the marriage changes, it will really be called daily life.
A smart woman will keep her career while running a marriage. This business is not too big, just enough to support myself. With this guarantee, you can face any ups and downs in your marriage with confidence.
Marriage is not as easy as imagined, but it is not difficult. Women want to get a happy marriage, not only need persistent patience, but also need some skills. Every marriage will not be smooth sailing, there will always be many bumps and tribulations. At this time, you must keep your initial heart and know why you entered the marriage.
The reason why I wrote this article is because of the contribution of reader Xiaoyou. Her story shows me what an independent woman should look like in marriage, so I want to write her story for everyone to learn.
-03-
Xiaoyou is thirty years old and has been married to her husband for five years. Although the relationship between husband and wife is not as good as when they were in love, it is not bad. Although there will be some small quarrels on weekdays, it will be fine after a while.
Xiaoyou is a nurse who works in a hospital in the city. She has been working in the hospital since graduation. This is her career, so she has always cherished this job. When she was pregnant, her husband A Qiang wanted her to quit her job and concentrate on raising the children at home, but she didn't say anything.
Xiaoyou often reads books on marriage management, and she understands that economic independence is very important for women. She remembered this, so she didn't resign.
Xiaoyou and A Qiang were introduced by friends. Two people have been in contact for a while and feel that their personalities are more compatible, so they choose to be together.
Two people fell in love for about half a year and got married at the urging of their parents. A Qiang's family conditions are average, so he can't afford to buy a house. So after marriage, two people live with their in-laws. Xiaoyou has been trying to make money, in order to buy a house of his own one day.
-04-
The marriage life of Xiaoyou and A Qiang is also relatively calm. Although it is not convenient to live with in-laws, it is good that Xiaoyou is more sensible, respects in-laws at home, does housework and gets along well with her mother-in-law.
But Xiaoyou found that A Qiang was becoming more and more irresponsible.
At home, A Qiang never does housework. When he came home from work, he lay in bed playing with his mobile phone. He cooked a good meal and told him to dawdle before coming out for dinner. The dirty clothes he wore were thrown about, and Xiaoyou was angry with his behavior.
This is not a married man, which is different from not getting married before. The difference may be that the person who served him became Xiaoyou.
Xiaoyou told him several times, but he wouldn't listen. Instead, he accused Xiaoyou of meddling. He also said, "If you don't want to serve me, don't serve me. Let my mother do housework. " Xiaoyou thinks talking to him is like talking to a cow.
The couple's feelings gradually faded, and at the same time there was a contradiction between Xiaoyou and her mother-in-law.
After marriage, Xiaoyou asked A Qiang to keep his salary in a unified way. In order to save money to buy a house as soon as possible, A Qiang did so. Although Xiaoyou gives A Qiang pocket money every month. However, A Qiang sometimes doesn't dare to ask her little friends for money after spending too much, so she has to ask her mother for money.
My mother-in-law thinks Xiaoyou is too hard on her son and doesn't even give her pocket money. This caused a misunderstanding.
-05-
Because of this, my mother-in-law said her innuendo in front of Xiaoyou. Xiaoyou was puzzled and explained that he gave A Qiang pocket money every month, but he was too extravagant to know how to save it. But my mother-in-law doesn't believe it at all.
Xiaoyou complained to A Qiang, but I didn't expect A Qiang's next move to almost vomit blood. A Qiang really ran to his mother and said, "Mom, Xiaoyou gives me money every month. She told me not to ask you for money in the future and told you to leave it alone. "
Mother-in-law naturally became more angry with Xiaoyou after hearing these words. Later, her mother-in-law often deliberately made things difficult for Xiaoyou, which made Xiaoyou very angry, and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law became deeper and deeper.
When Xiaoyou was pregnant, her mother-in-law didn't take good care of her and always took leftovers against her. A Qiang started the shopkeeper of cutting and told her mother to take care of Xiaoyou.
Xiaoyou went back to her mother's house in a fit of pique and told her mother to take care of herself. A Qiang even asked Xiaoyou to resign, saying that if he resigned, he would be able to take care of himself instead of taking care of himself while working.
Xiaoyou refused without thinking. It is impossible for her to resign, because it is her own guarantee. Therefore, during pregnancy, she has been biting her teeth and full of resentment against her mother-in-law.
-06-
Xiao Yousheng didn't want to live with her in-laws after having children, so she forced A Qiang to move out. Two people rented a house outside, so my mother-in-law didn't have less trouble finding Xiaoyou.
After being separated from his parents, A Qiang was well disciplined by Xiaoyou. He also understood his responsibility as a man and began to take care of Xiaoyou and his children. The couple's feelings have gradually recovered.
Xiaoyou thought that he should have moved out at the beginning.
After several years, Xiaoyou and her mother-in-law still don't get along. Just six months ago, my mother-in-law suddenly fell ill and was admitted to the hospital. Fortunately, the rescue was timely and people were saved. But it takes a long time to recover in bed.
My mother-in-law needs someone to take care of her. A Qiang's father alone can't do it. Mother-in-law asked A Qiang to tell Xiaoyou to take care of herself.
A Qiang listened to her mother's words and began to persuade Xiaoyou: "Daughter-in-law, you see that my mother is sick and nobody is taking care of her at home, and my father can't take care of anyone at all. You are a professional counterpart, otherwise you will resign and take care of my mother at home. I support you! "
Xiaoyou flew into a rage at his words and roared, "Do you want to be ashamed? That's your mother. Why should I quit my job to take care of her? You gave me leftovers when I was pregnant, and now you want me to take care of her? No! "
-07-
A Qiang was scolded by Xiaoyou. When he saw Xiaoyou's mind made up, A Qiang could do nothing. So I had to tell my mother that Xiaoyou didn't agree.
Xiaoyou is not a cold-blooded person. She told A Qiang that she could pay for a care worker, and the couple would pay for it. So A Qiang found a nurse to take care of her mother.
My mother-in-law regrets it, too. If she had been nice to Xiaoyou, would she still need to hire someone now? It's really self-inflicted
Xiaoyou is so car-scrapping in marriage because she is financially independent and her job gives her confidence. Make her feel that she can live well without a man. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can also be difficult to face.
If Xiaoyou has no job, she depends on A Qiang to support her. Then it may be more painful to live in her husband's house, and there is no money to rent a house. Therefore, women must maintain economic independence in marriage, which will be your most solid backing.