Such a good parenting sharing, I feel like I have made a SPA in my heart. I especially like her voice, gentle and powerful, and her humor, which makes me forget my immediate troubles and really enjoy it.
In fact, when I first heard Sister Rui Rui share it, I really wanted to date her, because I was at the bottom of my life.
The relationship with her husband has plummeted, and she has great differences with her mother-in-law. The baby is unwell and often goes to the hospital. These problems I don't want to face are surrounded by layers. I feel so sad every night that I can't count how many times I have collapsed.
I couldn't help crying when I heard her say that she had a rough parenting and quarreled with her husband, especially crying in the middle of the night, not only because she said the pain in my heart, but also because someone finally understood my inexplicable happiness when I met my bosom sister.
In the process of sharing, I have been listening and thinking with the rhythm of Rui Rui's sister. How did she solve the same problem and how did I do it? Coincidentally, I became a negative textbook.
I always complain that my husband doesn't understand me. After having children, I focused on them. I hope he is as baby-centered as I am, so I get angry when I coax him to play games. During the epidemic, I stayed at my mother's house. He didn't take the initiative to call me, and I ignored him. The baby was ill, and I blamed him for not answering my phone for the first time.
But my husband never said anything about me. Even if I deleted his WeChat and my phone was hacked, he never felt sorry for me. He will try to find me, make me happy, and don't mention unhappy things.
From the beginning of last year to now, he has been working in the form of desperately saburo, and he has borne the mortgage rent and all family expenses alone. Every morning, he went to work before I got up, and when he came back, I was already asleep. He persisted for a year and a half. I know he works hard, but he never says it in front of me.
The last time I listened to Rui Jie's sharing, she said in an understatement that the relationship between husband and wife is greater than that between parents and children, and I should learn to "play dumb and show weakness". After listening to it, I immediately commented on my husband's WeChat as "playing dumb and showing weakness", and then every time I sent him a WeChat, I looked at the tip in the upper left corner and wondered if I should speak like this. Is it effective? Yes, we are much better now.
I took my baby to yingde city Chinese Medicine Hospital last Sunday. When the doctor handed me the admission notice for my signature with a dignified face, I couldn't help running out and calling him with tears. He always comforted me and said that he would be fine with me. I also arranged for my baby and I to go to Zhongshan for treatment immediately. In fact, it was that day that I really felt that he and I were the same body of real destiny. I don't want to face all this alone.
We are often together these days. He is good to the baby and good to me. He's still the same, except that I was too emotional before.
After listening to Ruijie's sharing, I really want to go back in time and keep changing my thinking and attitude. The whole family will be different. Thank you, Sister Rui, for letting me know clearly what I did wrong and what to do next.
Let's talk about three things that I feel the most.
0-3 years old, maternal love is the best and most expensive toy.
In order to make the baby happy and catch up with his development, I pay too much attention to material aspects. When chatting with friends, I often ask others what toys they bought. Does the baby like it?
I mistakenly think that children's curiosity can be satisfied as long as they keep coming up with new tricks, which is why it is useless for the baby to cry no matter what toys I buy. He wants me, and I care and accompany him wholeheartedly.
Learning in interaction, mother is the translator of baby's language.
I have to admit my mistake here. I used to watch cartoons to coax my baby. Fortunately, the baby didn't pay the bill, so I won't watch it for the time being, otherwise I really got into bad habits again.
After listening to Rui Jie, electronic products such as mobile phones and televisions can't let the baby learn. Babies learn through interaction. I think I should make good use of my translation. I am my son's best toy.
Understand the husband
Men are very hard, and many negative emotions that cannot be digested are very wronged. When angry, women use their right brain and men use their left brain. Many problems are discovered by ourselves. We can't use the right brain to translate each other's left brain.
Change your attitude towards marriage and think about how to be a good wife, instead of always hoping that the other person is a perfect husband.
I wrote a letter to my husband. I told him what I thought, and I found that he was just different from me.
We are completely complementary.
I am a senior one, I care about people, I care about everything about the baby, and I care about his feelings. And he is a real big C, who only cares about what happened and what needs to be done. When the family is calm, he gains his own time.
No matter how good a marriage is, there are 200 thoughts of divorce and 50 impulses to strangle each other. Compared with them, we are still quite good.
He is C, and he won't have a direct conflict with me, because he cares about things and expresses euphemism.
So no matter how noisy we are, the scene will not be too ugly, only I keep complaining and he is thinking.
He is C. Although he won't respond to me emotionally, he will do things and respond to me with actions.
For example, he will do whatever I ask him to do.
For example, if I want to be noticed, you will still care. It's not that I don't care. I just didn't expect that because it's C, I care more than people. A clear task is something that will be done well.
My next step
1 Take care of your baby with full love, interact with your baby more, and make your baby's best toy.
2 change your attitude towards your husband and think about each other's advantages. More is recognition and worship, continue to play dumb and show weakness.
Read the parenting book "A good mother is better than a good teacher", "The language of parents" and "You are the best toy for children"