Therefore, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, Tian Gefei has always believed that the daughter-in-law must stick to her bottom line, and when the other party touches her bottom line, she must not shrink back. Because your retreat and tolerance will only make the other party think that you are weak and bully you as a fool.
As a daughter-in-law, just married into a strange family, she always acts cautiously, hoping to integrate into the new family as soon as possible and live in harmony with her husband.
If you are lucky and meet a reasonable mother-in-law, your daughter-in-law's life will be easy. Because the mother-in-law will be good to her daughter-in-law, and the son will be good to her daughter-in-law. Mother-in-law knows very well that the family will be more harmonious if she treats her daughter-in-law sincerely. Because I am getting older, my own pension and my son's happiness depend on my daughter-in-law. Being good to your daughter-in-law is actually good to yourself and your family.
But some mothers-in-law don't understand this truth. Seeing my daughter-in-law enter the door, I naturally put on the airs of my elders in front of my daughter-in-law, ordered her to do housework, and asked her to be kind to her son and filial to herself. But she doesn't want to think about it. When people grow up, they have never eaten a grain of rice or had a sip of soup in your house. Why do you ask people like this, just because she is a latecomer to this family and your daughter-in-law?
In fact, the daughter-in-law has no legal obligation to support her mother-in-law. If you want to get the filial piety of your daughter-in-law, you can only care about each other and exchange feelings with each other. It is also like an emotional account, in which both parties deposit money and their kindness to each other. You can take it out when you need it.
If the mother-in-law is still eccentric, the life of the daughter-in-law will be even more sad. Because the mother-in-law has a bowl of uneven water between her children, how can she connect the bowl of water between her daughter-in-law and her eccentric children? She will not only ask her daughter-in-law to be good to herself, but also ask her daughter-in-law to be good to her eccentric children.
Therefore, women must not be weak in marriage, and don't be afraid of causing trouble. Don't flinch when you meet a problem that touches your bottom line. Be a little hard-hearted and see who dares to bully you.
Reader Yang Jingying's mother-in-law relationship is not very good. The problem she encountered was not only her mother-in-law's low emotional intelligence, but also her mother-in-law's quirks. Under the repeated bullying of her mother-in-law, Yang Jingying finally gave up her car. To tell the truth, she wouldn't even have a place to live if she wasn't car-scrapping.
Before getting married, Yang Jingying worked as a lobby manager in a communication company in the county. Because of her good looks, there are always some young men who come forward to ask questions around her. There is only one young man who always comes once a day and leaves when he sees Yang Jingying from a distance.
At first, Jing Ying didn't pay attention. Under the reminder of colleagues, Jingjing noticed Tao Qiang, who later became her husband.
Yang Jingying is not an active person. She is gentle and timid. Even if she has a crush on the tall and handsome Tao Qiang, she just keeps it in her heart.
Tao Qiang is also a relatively wooden and honest person. He blushes when he looks at the crystal, but he won't speak.
Fortunately, the county where they are located is not too big. They are relatives and friends in half the city. Tao Qiang finally found a person who both sides know and took the lead. Yang Jingying and Tao Qiang understood each other and talked about love.
More than a year later, they got married.
Speaking of their marriage, it didn't go well either, and their joints got stuck in the house.
Yang Jingying's parents asked Tao Qiang to buy a wedding room. Tao Qiang's parents promised that they would buy the house, just because money was a little tight. When they get married, they have to pay a down payment to buy a house in the county.
Crystal parents disagree. They want to buy both before and after marriage. It's anybody's guess whether to buy it or not.
Two adults are a little unhappy. Tao Qiang's parents said that Jing Ying's parents were narrow-minded and they had promised to buy it. It's only a matter of time, so why not rest assured?
Jing ying advised her parents, after all, people have promised to buy a house, so wait.
Who knows that this is two years, and my in-laws never mention buying a house again. Jingying's parents were very angry, and there was nothing they could do.
Graduated from elite high school and didn't go to college. She has been doing different jobs since the day she graduated, so she saved 60 thousand to 70 thousand. And Tao Qiang? I can't believe I didn't make a penny.
Tao Qiang also has a younger brother who is still in high school. Before Tao Qiang got married, his in-laws discussed with him and gave them every month, leaving no land for his younger brother to finish college. Then my in-laws will return Tao Qiang's salary card to him.
After the marriage, Yang Jingying did not object to the arrangement of her in-laws. Because she feels that since she is married to this family, she must share her worries for this family. Brother-in-law has a heavy burden of going to school, and it is also appropriate to share it with her in-laws.
It's just that my in-laws never mentioned buying a house, and house prices soared. If we wait any longer, the existing money may not be able to afford a small house.
Or parents are distressed by their daughters. Seeing the situation of her daughter's in-laws, Yang Jingying's parents paid 80,000 yuan, plus 40,000 yuan from Jingying, and the down payment was 120 square meters.
At my father's insistence, only one person's name was written in this house.
Buying a house should have been a happy thing. But Tao Qiang and his in-laws are not happy, because there is no Tao Qiang's name on the real estate license.
In the face of in-laws and her husband's questioning, Jingying told them according to what her father taught her: "It is ok to write Tao Qiang's name, as long as you pay part of the house price."
Hearing the crystal clear answer, they collectively stopped talking.
Two years later, my husband finally got his salary card back because my brother-in-law graduated from high school and didn't go to college. Originally, my mother-in-law wanted him to repeat his studies and take the exam the next year. But my brother-in-law wouldn't. He found a job in a factory on the edge of the county seat.
At that time, Jing Ying had just given birth to a daughter. My mother-in-law said that she had to work, too, and she didn't have time to wait for Crystal to have a confinement.
And Yingying's mother is also taking care of Yingying's sister-in-law to have a second child. Jingying can only take care of herself
While taking care of herself and her children, she also cooks for a large family. In this way, the mother-in-law still dislikes her staying at home, not going out to work and eating her son's flowers.
Crystal clear is so angry that her milk is blocked, and she wants to go out to work, but who will take care of the children?
Later, I heard from my husband that my in-laws gave all the money they had saved to my brother-in-law and bought him a house in the county. Jingying is very angry.
When I got married, my in-laws said that money was too tight to buy a house; Now buy a house for my brother-in-law, you can buy it if you say so. Isn't Tao Qiang his own?
Seeing that Jing Ying was angry, her in-laws lied to her that her brother-in-law had saved money to buy it.
Jing Ying said, "Do you really think I'm stupid? After graduating from high school, you can buy a house after working for only one year. Are you kidding? "
Mother-in-law can't see her, and she said domineering: "Your father can buy a house for you, so I can't buy a house for my youngest son?"
"My dad bought me a house because you don't care. In addition, my father bought a house for my brother, and then bought a house for me. What about the room you bought for Tao Qiang? "
Jingying wants to move out and live alone, but she hates treating her mother-in-law as a demon. But the money in hand is not enough for decoration, so I have to give up.
But her anger made her husband's family realize that Jing Ying also has a temper, but her anger has nothing to do with them. It's just the recent events that let them know that if an honest man gets angry, the consequences will be very serious.
At the beginning of last year, my mother-in-law found breast lesions during physical examination. After further examination, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and needed hospitalization.
Because I just bought a house for my brother-in-law, I don't have much money at home. After a period of treatment, her mother-in-law came to Tao Qiang and Jingying with tears. She hopes that Jing Ying can sell the house and treat her.
When I heard that, I felt my head "hum" and it was about to explode.
Mother-in-law directly threw a hot potato to Jingjing. Life is a matter of life. Is it clear whether to save or not to save? The husband also turned to Jing Ying for help, trying to save his mother. He said it was his eldest son's duty to save his mother. There is a crystal clear mother who doesn't sell her house to save her. She is the gesture of their Tao Jia sinner.
It's really hard to break the crystal. Say save it. If you don't want to, you will rush your mother-in-law's usual attitude towards yourself and let her sell the house. She doesn't want to; Say no, but I can't put it down in my crystal heart. After all, it is a life and my husband's mother.
After thinking about it all night, the next day, Jing Ying spoke her decision in front of the whole family.
"The disease must be cured, I can pay. But I won't sell my house because it was bought with my father's money. I suggest that if you want to sell it, you should sell your brother-in-law's house for medical treatment first. If it is not enough, we will find a way. "
When the in-laws heard this, they were furious and cursed Crystal as a poisonous woman, bringing about their own destruction.
At this time, Jing Ying had the courage to say so. She is still a little timid, but seeing her in-laws' reaction, she is not afraid.
"Whatever you scold, I don't sell the house. Tao Qiang, if you dare to hit me, we will divorce immediately. "
Seeing that the crystal that has been weak has suddenly become so tough, my family has softened.
That's what happens between people. You are good to me, and I will be good to you. If you bully me step by step, don't blame me for being heartless.
Many family conflicts in China are caused by unclear boundaries between relatives.
Take the glittering and translucent things as an example. There is really nothing to say about not buying a wedding room before marriage, because parents really have no obligation to buy a wedding room for their children and get married themselves. However, the Taoqiang family can't intervene in the house that Yingying's parents bought for her. This is the boundary.
Crystal confinement, mother-in-law does not help, but also talk.an excellent; But there is no reason for her mother-in-law to let Jing Ying bear her medical expenses, which is also the border;
In view of her mother-in-law's usual attitude towards Yingying, Yingying can treat her mother-in-law like this; But as a glittering and translucent husband, he can't push the maintenance obligation to his wife, which is still a boundary;
Since there are boundaries, don't break them easily.
Parents can't treat their children as their own accessories and interfere if they want. The same is true between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. They are not kind at ordinary times, and they are not reluctant when needed.
Therefore, a woman, keeping her bottom line is the first priority of a happy marriage. You can be kind, but you must remember that your kindness must be sharp. Otherwise, no one can control you, especially Ma Baonan's husband.