Try to make friends with children.
Faced with the stubborn rebellion of adolescent children, parents often miss their obedient and clever appearance as children. With the psychological maturity and development, adolescent children will gradually shift the focus of interpersonal relationships to peer groups. In order to show their sense of adulthood, they often alienate their parents.
From the perspective of parents, it is often difficult to accept that children are no longer so dependent on themselves because of their growth. At the same time, due to objective reasons such as different ways of thinking, the distance between the two generations is getting farther and farther, lacking mutual understanding and recognition, and communication is difficult. ?
Adolescent children's awareness of autonomy, self-esteem and self-reliance has been significantly enhanced. If parents want to communicate well with their children, they should treat them as adults, give them enough trust and respect, and communicate with them as friends with their emotional abilities. ?
Keywords: 1: trust?
Trust is the premise of interpersonal communication, and interpersonal communication is two-way. The most effective way for parents to gain their children's trust is to keep a low profile and be honest with themselves. ?
In the traditional family relationship in China, parents often appear as inviolable authority figures above others. This tradition continues to this day, and most parents are self-enclosed and unwilling to open their hearts to their children. They are used to educating their children with sentences like "You can't do it" and "You should do it". This tough imperative tone often brings children a sense of inequality that is hit and despised.
To establish a harmonious parent-child relationship, parents should have the will to be friends with their children on an equal footing and communicate with their children in an open, democratic and free way. For example, parents can talk to their children about their confusion, stupid things they have done, pressures they have encountered, and even the opposite sex they like, thus showing a true, imperfect and approachable image of their parents. ?
Keyword 2: respect?
Trust can narrow the distance between parents and children, but as individuals, everyone wants to keep their own space. ?
Adolescent children are willing to imagine themselves as adults. Parents should understand this kind of psychology, give full respect like adults, and believe that they can handle their own affairs well. It should be noted that adolescent children are not real adults after all, and it is inevitable that they are immature and inadequate in dealing with others.
At this time, parents can observe properly, feel their children's emotions and behaviors from the side, and then give their own suggestions. Any forced intervention or direct intrusion, such as turning over diaries and peeking at mobile phones, will make children feel despised and violated, thus losing trust in their parents. When a child encounters a problem, parents should objectively evaluate the right or wrong of the child's behavior, and can't simply blame all the mistakes on the child, like "It's all your fault!" "I don't think you can!" Such an expression will make children extremely disgusted. ?
Keyword 3: * * * Love?
"Love" refers to the ability to experience the inner world of others. In adolescent education, parents should also be emotional, that is, understand the children's emotions at that time. ? Children answer with completely different positions and attitudes, and their psychological feelings will naturally be different. Obviously, an answer full of empathy is easy to break the barrier with children and is conducive to in-depth exchanges between the two sides. It should be noted that adolescent children have sensitive and irritable psychological characteristics. Once they are not understood and recognized at home, they will gradually close their hearts to their parents and choose to confide their pain to classmates, friends, even strangers and the Internet, which may bring unnecessary trouble.
What should we pay attention to when communicating with adolescent sensitive children?
1, the education of children should be separated as far as possible, and dialogue should be used to avoid public reprimand. Teenagers have the most face, that is, strong self-esteem. Therefore, the education of children should be avoided in public, especially in front of his teachers and classmates.
2, don't always say in the child's ear, how to pay for him, compare yourself with him as a child or compare other children with him, which can only attract children's rebellious psychology. It is necessary to talk about things, analyze problems in detail, and help children solve problems instead of complaining and comparing.
When children's grades decline, first of all, what we should do is not to blame, but to encourage children's grades to decline. Generally, we are already very sad and even discouraged. As parents, we should care about him, encourage him, help him build up confidence and help him analyze and solve problems in detail. Blame will alienate him from you, so that if something goes wrong in the future, he will not take the initiative to negotiate with his parents.
4. Change the fixed thinking mode. Trying to understand children from the perspective of today's times. Parents can keep their opinions on some phenomena and concepts, but they don't have to resolutely oppose them in order to make their children obedient.
5. Prevent two extremes. One is excessive connivance, and the other is blind repression. Neither will have a good educational effect. Therefore, when educating children, parents must adhere to the basic moral principles, so as to educate children to master a certain degree and prevent them from deviating from the correct life track.