That's who I am. I have a say. I have a history of insomnia for more than 30 years, and now I still rely on sleeping pills and sedatives to maintain my sleep. The reason for this is that 1985, I took the civil teachers' examination in the normal school and was admitted to Pyeongchang Normal School. At that time, the situation at home was that I was studying with three children and four people, and my parents were ill in bed. The task of cultivating six or seven acres of farmland falls on my wife alone. Want to give up, this is an iron rice bowl! What should I do if I go to a family? Finally, I hardened my heart to study, entangled in this contradictory life all day, anxious and insomnia. I have sought medical advice for many times, but it has not improved at all. Only sleeping pills and sedatives are the only solution.
What do I think of this anxiety and depression?
Relax, if you are sick, you must receive treatment. Don't be afraid to take sleeping pills and sedatives. You can't stay awake. Don't be afraid of being called crazy. I'm crazy. What are you afraid of? Not AIDS? What's the shame? Now the cost of medicine is six or seven hundred per month. Anyway, I'm going to sleep for six or seven hours and take a nap at noon. It is better to die happily than to live in pain.
Strangely, people say that people with depression want to die. I don't have that idea. Why should I die? My family still lives on my salary. I didn't want to die in the past, but now I don't want to die. I get a pension of four or five thousand yuan for nothing. It's strange to want to die. Some people are afraid of taking medicine and side effects. Don't be afraid. Some people go to the fields all their lives and die before they are one year old. I'm almost seventy years old. What am I afraid of? Ji Xianlin, also suffering from habitual insomnia, lived 99 years by eating and sleeping peacefully. I may take sleeping pills until the day I go to the coffin.
Anxiety is anxiety. I don't know what to learn, I can't learn, I don't know how to apply it after learning, and I don't want to learn at all. I am one of them.
Anxiety should be a common problem of modern people. When you are surrounded by anxiety, consider why you are in such a situation. Should we resist or accept? What resources are there around you? Who can I ask for help? What are the short-term and long-term goals? Where should we start?
When you decompose anxiety into these specific problems, you are already analyzing them, and analyzing problems is the first step in learning. Anxiety can be understood as the motivation of learning, and understanding anxiety is the only way to make you not anxious.
Anxiety is not a bad thing, but a manifestation of self-motivation. If there are no accidents, it will accompany us all our lives in this era of rapid development. Therefore, we should learn to be friends with anxiety and walk with it.
Katsumi Kazuo, a Japanese economic critic, once used elephant tamers and elephants as metaphors for human emotional mechanisms.
There are two psychological mechanisms represented by elephant trainer (rationality) and elephant (sensibility). In order to prevent the elephant from escaping, the elephant trainer tried to control and guide it. However, due to the huge size of the elephant, once it is out of control, it will be difficult for the animal trainer to control it. If "elephant (sensibility)" keeps suppressing "elephant trainer (rationality)", we will become slaves of emotions and be manipulated by emotions, making you unable to think calmly. Even if you try to control it and know that you shouldn't be anxious and angry, you still can't suppress the outbreak of this emotion, which can easily turn anxiety into a daily state.
Once people are anxious, they will have inexplicable ill feelings about many things and have a lot of adverse effects on people around them. How to learn to control your anxiety is something we should learn!
I recommend reading a book by Tadao Ando, a Japanese writer, without anxiety. This book does not start with empty talk, but changes a small habit with simple details to control one's emotions and relieve anxiety! Try anxiety because of the following points, let's get along with anxiety through good habits! This article extracts the methods that I think are more effective!
First, the habit of not worrying about money
1. Spend money on the blade.
2. Don't be too frugal (give up what you desire for frugality, and when you suddenly look back one day, you will find that nothing in your life can make you happy. This is unconsciously lowering the quality of life, and life is not very interesting. )
Distinguish between consumption and investment (investment means that what we buy can produce value in the future, and we spend money for its future value. Relatively speaking, consumption is an act of spending money in exchange for present value, and it will not generate value afterwards. )
4. Spend money on professional things (people who are not unreasonably anxious usually have the same habit, that is, know how to spend money on professional things, so as to solve problems most efficiently without increasing their troubles. )
Second, the habit of not worrying about interpersonal relationships.
1. End those relationships that are neither salty nor light (the so-called interpersonal relationship is not maintained by other people's ideas and preferences, but by your own preferences).
2. Spend time with people you like.
Don't dig out the differences between others and us, but discover the similarities between yourself and others faster.
4. Don't care about the opinions of a few people (those who don't worry for no reason don't care about how loud and tough the other person is, but judge whether it is necessary to listen according to their own thinking. If they think this opinion is unreasonable, then they will resolutely and directly reject it. )
Don't cater to each other's values, even parents.
Third, the habit of not worrying about work.
1. Implementing the "two-minute law" without delay (referred to as "two-minute law" for short) is a working method put forward by David Allen, a master of improving productivity. It says that what can be done in two minutes should be done immediately and never put off later. )
2. Reduce unnecessary complaints, and the more you complain, the more anxious you become (the process of complaining will not only deepen and consolidate your resentment over and over again, but also lower your status in the hearts of people around you, and from the perspective of anger management, complaining is also harmful. )
3. only consider the solution (what we have to do is put "why?" It became "What should I do next?" )
Fourth, don't worry about your habits
1. A nice guy is the root of anxiety (don't hide your thoughts just because you are good-looking or embarrassed to refuse, which will often make people around you misunderstand that you are like that, and in the end, you will often become a burden to yourself and only make yourself miserable. )
2. Consciously try to eat alone, explore some shops that you have never been to, and gradually let yourself ignore the eyes of others. This will be a very good exercise against anxiety.
When we are in a good state, we can feel life with all our senses. When we feel anxious, we can calm down, concentrate our consciousness on our feet and try to feel our existence.
4. Pay attention to your physical and mental state and thoughts when you are "in good condition" and observe them in many ways. It is best to describe it in words and write it on paper.
Five, the habit of not worrying about life
1. Deliberately break your life pattern (pattern interruption method is to try to do a small thing that you don't usually do every day. Being used to facing the big changes in the future can also make you less flustered.
2. Don't love the old, prefer the new.
No matter what you eat, you should taste it well and get happiness from ordinary three meals a day.
The most important thing between husband and wife is not the consistency of values, but the ability to accept and tolerate the differences in their values. Make clear the views and ideas of both parties, and specify what they hope the other party can do in order to maintain a good and long-term relationship between husband and wife.
5. Let yourself have a good sleep
Sixth, the habit of not worrying about life.
1. Make your own decisions in your own life.
2. When appropriate, learn to be "tolerant" and make peace with yourself.
3. Admit your little success and check and confirm what you can do every day.
As long as we live in society and get along with others, anxiety will always exist. What we have to do is to cultivate habits from some small things and slowly reconcile with anxiety!
* * * Whatever!
Look at a bloom.
Look at the scenery.
All human anxiety stems from the uncertain perception of something in the future. For example, you can imagine the anxiety of an escaped prisoner who sleeps in the wind all day to avoid arrest.
He wants to muddle through and is afraid of being caught by the police, so he is uneasy all day. Once the day came when he fell into the French Open, he quiet inside, a stone in his heart fell to the ground, without a trace of anxiety.
However, a few days later, his anxiety reappeared. Why? Because he is waiting for the trial result, will he be sentenced to death, can he be sentenced to death with a reprieve, or will he have a chance to escape from prison, will his family come back to see him, and so on. ...
The above is only a case study, but in fact, we will always encounter many uncertain events in our lives. Examination results, professional title evaluation, children's college entrance examination, weddings and funerals, family health, etc. These may cause anxiety and make people miserable!
Finding ways to overcome anxiety is actually very simple. Imagine how bad things can be, and then make plans. Even at that point, there are expected psychological preparations and treatment plans, not to mention that it may not be so bad.
Finally, the subject said that when people are dead and anxious, there is no such judgment. Actually, this judgment is meaningless. Of course, in our lifetime, we should strive to make things develop in the best direction, as we just said, "always prepare for the worst."
As long as we use our brains and strive for it, everything will naturally have the results we want more. If we accept it, let it go and let our anxiety control our emotions, what is the difference between it and pigs in slaughterhouses?
Anxiety stems from fear of the unknown. Anxiety and fear are normal emotional reactions. Anyone can be anxious, but not as sick. If your anxiety is serious enough to affect your work and life, then you may really need to see a doctor.
In life, some people are naturally prone to anxiety about anything, which we call anxious personality. Such people will get tired of their own personality and lead a very depressed life in their work and life. Learn to let nature take its course and do what needs to be done. If you don't worry about things that haven't happened and adjust your mentality and attitude, people will gradually stop worrying. Li Ka-shing once said: To overcome the anxiety and depression in life, we must first learn to be our own master.
Because only by truly knowing yourself, knowing what you want, and becoming your own master, can you not be influenced by the anxiety, pressure and impetuousness of the outside world, can you stop being panicked and confused when you are pursuing and running around, can you always stick to yourself, strengthen your life direction and pace, and truly realize yourself step by step.
Anxiety stems from a lack of presence. If you are really alive, your sense of existence will be fully confirmed in this process, and your sense of emptiness and anxiety will be greatly weakened.
I thought of Wang Yangming, a psychologist. Wang Yangming pointed to his heart before he died. This heart is bright, so what can I say? Wang Yangming's initial choice is not understood by others, but he has been trying to find the answer to becoming a saint according to his own inner wishes, and finally realized the truth of "unity of knowledge and action".
Real life needs courage. His life energy is completely seen, so he is completely bright and satisfied without any anxiety of death.
People's innate anxiety about death cannot be eradicated. Why do they have fear and anxiety about death? Perhaps fear is that when we face death, we find that our lives are meaningless.
Perhaps, when you find the meaning of life, you won't have to be afraid of death and feel anxious.
Life is so beautiful, don't let time slip away in anxiety.
The essence of anxiety is fear, and this psychology is human instinct. As long as you live, it will exist forever. Everyone can't escape, but everyone has a different attitude towards anxiety.
When a person faces anxiety, he will instinctively have a "fight" or "escape" reaction.
For example, your academic performance has been unsatisfactory, and the teacher has always expressed doubts about your ability. Today, he scolded you in front of other students, and other students also think that your ability is poor. So, do you resist them, or do you choose another way, give up learning and stay away from this annoying learning environment?
These are all "fight or flight" responses.
Fighting, it is easy to make people emotional, resulting in excessive performance, and escape, it will make people fall into a vicious circle of self-doubt, painful.
How to solve the anxiety problem?
Physiologically, when people feel anxious, the body will secrete two stress hormones-cortisol and adrenaline. These two things can help muscles and brains receive and use energy more effectively and accept new challenges.
Adrenaline can awaken a person's feelings, which are reflected in:
In other words, anxiety can make you more focused, so as to get more useful information and deal with things more effectively.
At the same time, chemicals such as endorphins, adrenaline, testosterone and dopamine in your body also begin to play a role, making you feel addicted. Why do some people become more depressed and brave is because they use anxiety to enhance their self-confidence and strength, make them more willing to meet challenges and secrete more addictive chemicals, which is a virtuous circle.
This is the "excitement and light" side of anxiety.
Finally, I would like to share with you the trilogy of relieving stress:
First, when you feel stressed, admit its existence and don't exhaust your energy to fight it.
Second, welcome stress, realize that it is a normal response to something you care about, and associate it with something positive.
Third, use the energy that stress gives you (the chemicals secreted by the body mentioned above) to do things that can achieve your goals and values.
Success is also anxious, and failure is also anxious. I hope you can dig out that "better self" from your anxiety.
In fact, I especially hate a sentence, that is, "He who has no long-term worries will have near worries." I prefer this sentence: "Life is less than one hundred, so why worry about being a thousand years old". Can do: "worry about the world first, and then enjoy the world", that is the realm of saints, and we ordinary people are more anxious than ourselves. But is anxiety really useful?
The ideal is full and the reality is skinny. Anxiety can't solve the essential problem, whether it is the failure to complete the task or the serious economic pressure.
Instead of spending time worrying, spend time managing yourself. For example, the essence of management lies in how you view the management of your own time and how you view the management of yourself and the interpersonal relationship around you.
It's better to find something to do. People are positioning themselves when doing things, which is more useful than listening to the truth for a thousand times and worrying about it for ten thousand times. But doing good things will lead to the future of Mo Wen.
A young monk who is responsible for cleaning the fallen leaves in the temple gets up early every day to clean the fallen leaves. This is a hard job for a child.
Especially in late autumn and early winter, when the wind blows, the leaves will always fly with the wind, and the young monk will spend more time sweeping the leaves in the cold wind.
One day, a monk jokingly said to the young monk, "You can shake the tree vigorously before cleaning, and shake all the fallen leaves before sweeping." . So there will be no more leaves tomorrow. "
The young monk felt very reasonable after listening to it, so he got up early the next morning and shook the tree hard. Then he swept all the fallen leaves clean, thinking that the young monk who didn't have to sweep the fallen leaves tomorrow was very happy.
The next day, the young monk went to the yard to look blindsided. There are still many fallen leaves on the ground.
Just when he was sad, the old Zen master in the temple came up to him and said, "Silly child, no matter how you shake it today, the leaves will still fall like today."
The little monk thought, yes, I hope I can shake the tree and lose all the leaves, just like people's desire for tomorrow and the future. No matter how you think and shake it, it won't fall off today.
"Living in the present" means living in the present seriously.
At present, it simply means that you should focus on your present position, what you are doing, whose life you are living, and your taste and devotion. This is the most correct attitude and concept in life.
Patients with anxiety disorder are prone to obsessive-compulsive behavior. What is coercion? Typical is some stubborn "obsession". Your deep-rooted view of something will directly affect your behavior and lead to a vicious circle.
For example, many people are terrified when they hear the word insomnia. They think insomnia is a terrible thing, and then constantly force themselves to close their eyes and instinctively refuse insomnia, but the result is more anxiety.
At this time, you can actually try Morita therapy by Japanese scholars. Accept them, accept insomnia, accept waking up early, prepare for their long-term companionship, and make them a part of our lives.
When they come, we no longer exclude them, just like facing good friends, quietly feeling their wanton attacks in the body.
Even if you take sleeping pills, it is not the sleeping pills themselves, but the comfort your scared and helpless heart gets from sleeping pills.
So let nature take its course, and you won't let the wrong thinking go into a dead end.
If you are really out of control, you can also find a psychological counselor.
1, immediately start to do those things that worry you.
Make a plan (work plan, study plan, speech plan) that you feel less pressure, and make sure that you can finish it without too much pressure. Then, it must be completed.
The plan must include entertainment and rest time, and make good use of this time to rest, adjust and recover. Complete it, not perfect.
Knowledge is absorbed by people in this way: as long as you do it repeatedly, you can master it.
2. Stop thinking about anything that makes you feel anxious and stay away from people who make you feel anxious.
Go to a movie, read a book and immerse yourself in it for a while. The best way is to work. Work can cure anxiety. Stay away from people who make you anxious, especially parents who make you anxious. They will get you into a quagmire. Say "no" to them bravely.
3. Stop "progress".
If you think an exam or an opportunity will change your life. You should wake up. Success is a luxury, without which we can still live a good life. Don't let yourself get anxious because you want to succeed. Live a good life before you succeed.
4. Do what you like.
Spend a lot of time making masks, eating melon seeds, shopping, watching TV dramas and sleeping. Anyway, I just stay away from work, lazy, slippery and serious. Watch funny programs.
Congratulations, you did it. You changed from a machine to a person.
Finally, life is short, but you are sweet! Let's stay away from anxiety and poetic habitation!
Hello, anxiety is a common phenomenon, and people are most likely to have anxiety when they encounter unknown or uncontrollable things. Anxiety is not terrible, the key is how to treat anxiety.
There are many reasons for anxiety, such as unresolved marriage and love problems, uncertainty of further education, employment problems without direction, unresolved promotion problems, and improper handling of interpersonal problems. Once anxiety occurs, people will be restless, restless, unable to sleep, irritable, insomnia, sweating, and sometimes unstable blood pressure.
How to treat anxiety correctly so as not to affect our normal life? The key is to correctly understand the objective law of the development of things and adjust the mentality. For example, children's learning problems, some parents worry that their children will be anxious if they don't study well and can't get into college, and he will unconsciously bring this anxiety to his family. When he urges his children to do their homework, he will nag and say, "Work hard, son. You don't work hard. In the future, you will be eliminated by society, you will become a useless person, and then you will live a miserable life ... "Hearing his words, the child is very upset, the motivation to do homework is gone, he is angry with his parents, and the parent-child relationship is tense. If parents can recognize the objective law of "hard work pays off", encourage their children from the positive side and build confidence in their children, life will be sunny.
Secondly, when we have anxiety, don't be trapped by this kind of emotion, but face it positively, recognize the reality and deal with it calmly. For example, some people encounter setbacks in marriage, don't know what to do, are worried and anxious. At this time, the most important thing is to calm down, find out the root of the marriage problem, and then solve the problem. If you encounter an insurmountable problem, let it be. I believe there is a better fate waiting for you in the future.
Finally, we should also realize that not all anxiety is terrible, and sometimes proper anxiety helps us solve problems. For example, proper nervousness in exams can make people more rigorous and play better.
In short, take anxiety seriously, overcome it, and use it to make it a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block.
Anxiety is a strong emotional reaction when a person realizes that his perfect state is in danger or threatened.
The perfect state mentioned here includes many aspects, including physical health, physical safety, psychological peace, career success and self-esteem maintenance; There are also parents who are worried about the safety of others, such as parents who are worried about their children's delay. Tension is mild anxiety, and fear is severe anxiety. As a psychological state, anxiety has a series of physiological and behavioral characteristics.
The physiological manifestations of anxiety disorder are: muscle rigidity, dizziness, numbness, general or local pain, poor breathing, arrhythmia, dry mouth, blushing, chills, sweaty palms, loss of appetite and insomnia. Some people don't see anything unusual in their physical performance, but their anxiety can be seen through their behavior changes: abrupt speech, incoherent speech, special expression, facial spasm, clumsy movements, stuttering, unclear thinking and so on.
Anxiety and pain are the same. Although everyone wants to get rid of anxiety, anxiety also has a useful side. It can always remind us that we can improvise and defend against crises at any time. Under a little pressure, the work will be more perfect and better. However, these are the effects of moderate anxiety, and once anxiety is excessive, it will have a negative impact.
Psychologists have proved through experiments that the relationship between anxiety level and work efficiency is inverted U-shaped, that is to say, neither too low nor too high anxiety level can achieve the highest work efficiency. But what we generally say is that anxiety is too high, so it is very necessary to learn some skills to control anxiety.
Hello, I'm a psychological counselor and family education tutor. I'm glad to answer your question.
There are two kinds of anxiety, primary anxiety and secondary anxiety.
Anxiety is an emotion. We often say that anxiety is the fear of fear.
We usually like to divide emotions into good ones and bad ones. Pleasant call: positive emotions; What makes people uncomfortable is called negative emotions.
But in fact, from a psychological point of view, all emotions are positive. Anxiety is as unpleasant as a fire alarm, but it can quickly attract people's attention and take self-protection actions. Because people are in a happy state, it is actually difficult to perceive danger.
So anxiety is a signal of self-protection and a kind of motivation. Because people are uncomfortable when they are anxious, and if they are uncomfortable, they will want to do something to relieve their anxiety. Then this "doing something" is actually the motivation to do things.
Everything has its limits, and joy can also lead to sadness, so anxiety is the same: keeping it within a moderate range can make people move forward better.
But if you overdo it, even if you are overwhelmed by anxiety, you will lose your thinking ability and become a slave to anxiety. Exceeding the critical tolerance value may evolve into: anxiety, phobia, etc.
If anxiety is allowed to exist within an acceptable range, it will become our good partner.
If it is beyond the tolerance range, it is necessary to seek the help of outside professionals in time. Because many emotions are caused by many factors: physical and psychological.
According to the doctor's advice, taking certain drugs can relieve anxiety, and at the same time, auxiliary psychotherapy can explore the causes of anxiety and make anxiety in a positive position again.