Self-analysis allows us to hear our inner voice. The following is what I have carefully arranged for you: How to conduct self-analysis?
At present, there are not many people who receive remote psychological counseling in China, and the weekly analysis often seems too long. Although it is true that a few people do high-frequency analysis three to five times a week, most people still choose low-frequency analysis once a week. In the remaining six days when the psychological counselor is away, accidents will certainly emerge one after another for unstable visitors. At this time, learning self-care, self-venting, self-observation and self-discovery is definitely a skill, so you can't pin all your hopes on the psychological counselor. It is also a very good lesson to help yourself emotionally. Lynch, president of the American Honey Psychoanalysis Association, once said in a speech that psychological counseling is not to promote visitors to the end of their lives in the consulting room, but to let them internalize the functions of psychological counselors and learn to analyze themselves emotionally, observe themselves and take care of themselves.
So, how do you learn to analyze yourself for a low-frequency consultant once a week? Below, I will only share with you some methods that I personally found.
As a consultant who has done low-frequency analysis once a week for several years, I will find that consultants actually play a great role in accompanying visitors, sorting out emotions, relieving anxiety and discovering visitors' fixation complex. However, in the remaining 167 hours of the week when the consultant is away, accidents still emerge one after another. At this time, the consultant can't be like the devil in Aladdin's magic lamp, so what can you do?
First of all, you can cultivate your writing ability. Psychological counseling is a new thing in China in recent years. Before this, how did the ancients dispel their concerns? In addition to exercising Qigong, writing is also an excellent mental health care exercise, so it has the origin of Tang poetry and Song poetry and Ming and Qing novels. As for emotions, you can write them formally, for example, as an essay, essay or mini-novel. Express your views and feelings in the control of words. You can also write informally. For example, when encountering emotional storm or psychological crisis, you can try to write down your feelings with paper and pen. Don't judge whether it is good or bad, but write down all your feelings and associations about emotions.
In the process of writing healing, we should first pay attention to the truth and simplicity of feelings and the directness and power of language. You can say that I am in pain and my bones are cracked. . Instead of. I think my pain is lingering? . Try to describe yourself in a language that is not divorced from yourself, release your original energy through words, use verbs and nouns more, and use adjectives less. For example, one of my visitors once described her relationship with her mother in extremely concise and powerful language. She said? Her mother has two weapons, one is to cut her neck with a broadsword, and the other is to stab her heart with a dagger. Broadswords and daggers, slashes and jabs perfectly express their straightforward and bloody feelings.
Secondly, in the description, we should pay attention to the details. In fact, if we just talk about the outline, our life is nothing more than a few words. However, all the truth is hidden in the details. A good consultant is often a master of describing details. From the surrounding environment to the inner psychological progression and emotional ups and downs, the details are described in place, which fits the inner feelings and makes visitors feel relieved. Describing details is a process of gradually helping visitors to replace introspection. In the absence of a counselor, you can complete this step by yourself, and you may find the truth in the description of your inner details.
There are all kinds of detailed descriptions in Zhang Ailing's works. For example, in Love in a Fallen City, Zhang Ailing borrowed Bai Liusu's words. She was in a trance many years ago. When she was only a teenager, she saw the play and was separated from her family in a downpour. She stood alone on the sidewalk, staring at people, and people stared at her, through the rainy windows and layers of invisible glass covers-countless strangers. Everyone is locked in their own little world, and she can't get in with her head broken. She seems possessed. Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me and guessed it was her mother, so I tried to calm myself down and not talk. The mother she prayed for and her biological mother were two people? . This passage seems to be about Bai Liusu, but in fact it is about Zhang Ailing herself. She knows her mother's expectation, hatred, disappointment and self-exile.
In fact, the process of writing is a process of self-healing and self-appeasement. First, writing realizes the shift of attention. You moved away from the center of the emotional storm and started another thing, which means that you are no longer overwhelmed by your emotions, and you begin to have a sense of control over what you can control.
Secondly, the process of writing naturally produces an observed me and an emotional me, so that writing can separate you from emotions, you can think, experience and vent, and you can complete a mental process with refined language. This process of self-examination and self-reflection is called intellectualization. Rationalization can not only capture emotions, but also reflect on them, instead of being caught and controlled by them.
Third, the process of writing can reconstruct your story. You will describe and freely associate your emotions. The complexity behind some emotions will be seen and discovered by you. At the same time, through writing, your story has another openness. As a matter of fact, Wu Heming, a famous psychological counselor in China, has been emphasizing a point that therapy is writing? . The meaning of this sentence is about: whether writing or therapy is a dialogue between subjects around personal life experiences. When you have a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself, you will find yourself healing yourself.
Well, if you are not a master of words, you can use another method of personal analysis, that is, find a private space, preferably lying down, and start to associate freely. For example, you have just experienced an angry and depressed thing. Then, lie still and let your emotions begin to drown you. Don't control, don't excuse, don't escape, because this moment is your own time and space. Don't laugh at yourself or belittle yourself. You think what you do is ridiculous. You know, if your emotions are not taken care of, you will see more ridiculous things in your life.
When your emotions flow to a certain extent and you feel you have something to say, you begin to speak freely. The beginning of the narrative can be emotion, such as? I feel very angry? Or? Is it sour in my heart? It can also be an event, such as? This thing is terrible today, damn it? .
In the process of narration, you must be accompanied by some feelings and experiences. Don't let this go, please resort to language. In this process of free association, you may cry, laugh, laugh at yourself and let your emotions flow. When you finish this process, the blocked emotions are released, and you can enter the next stage very calmly.
In fact, in this process of free association, there is an object with you. This object may be your internalized consultant who is willing to listen to all your ridiculous and secret thoughts, or it may be a self who can protect you, accompany you, watch you more broadly and leisurely above you, and take care of you. Even in the religious field, there are traces of this object. Sodaki Kampo of Sichuan Wuming Buddhist College once told you this. If you are extremely miserable and frustrated, imagine the Bodhisattva crying her pain in front of you and getting her care. When you vent your emotions, you will be calm and won't do anything inexplicable.
In fact, in the process of free association, we first start a dialogue with ourselves in a private space, and then the state of lying can make you relax and fully retreat. In addition, an important method is used in this process, which is called focusing. Focus? Have a new experience of your struggling life. For example, a case of emotional eating addiction, if you focus on your own feelings, may have the following description:
? I don't know why I eat so much junk food. For example, I bought a healthy lunch today, but I ate a big bag of potato chips. Why should I destroy myself like this? Don't I like myself? Or I don't care? I hate putting on so much weight again.
It's like buying great food and then being taken over by something else. I can eat whatever I want.
In my abdomen, I feel a lot of energy. It is difficult for me to be with that place because I am angry with its overeating.
When I put my hand on my abdomen, it was a little easier. I remember that I was always alone when I was a child, and I had to take care of myself. I have to take on so many responsibilities. I've had enough at such a young age. (crying), I don't want to be so responsible. It wants to be free, to do what it wants, and to be taken care of. I am angry because I always have to make my own decisions and do the right thing by myself. I don't want to listen to anyone. I just want to eat, nobody cares? . (crying)
This process of free association is a process of experience generation, and this kind of experience, centered on the present, participates in exploration and liberation with intention, brings new life experience through self-experience, and lives out the transcendence of self-problems and a deeper understanding of self.
The third method of self-analysis is called dream interpretation. However, compared with the first two, we can still try and control words and narrative methods, and dream interpretation is more difficult to operate. Only after years of personal analysis and well-trained people can we have a more accurate understanding of our dreams. However, dreams are so profound and contain so much information that understanding them is also very important for self-salvation.
Yu Hua, a famous writer, once wrote an article "A Memory Comes Back", which described in detail his change from writing some traumatic articles to writing some peaceful, beautiful and brisk articles. That's because he lived in a traumatic environment in China since he was a child, and watching a criminal be shot was the most exciting thing in his childhood. These things seized him like a nightmare, forming a compulsive repetition in his works. He remembers that in the process of writing, he was extremely excited and manic, and his sleep at night and even his mental outlook were extremely anxious and urgent. During that time, in three years, there were more than 20 people who died abnormally in his works. However, Yu Hua was completely unaware of his abnormal mental state.
Until one day, he had a dream, in which he was shot, awake, cruel and excited. With the analysis of his dreams, the memories of his youth came back, and he realized that he had been in the compulsive repetition and memory of the shooting range when he was young and crazy. From that dream, Yu Hua decided to change the atmosphere connotation of his works. Later works became less bloody and peaceful, and these words and languages gradually changed his heart, saving him from the brink of collapse and mental illness and becoming another more healthy and harmonious Yu Hua. ? This is a dream, which brings enlightenment to Yu Hua.
And for us ordinary people, how to analyze our dreams? The easiest way is not to interpret your dreams by logical speculation. It's about being there, feeling your dreams, those emotions, desires, fantasies, unknowable desires, etc., or dreams can lift the veil of your defense and give you the truest look.
For example, I have a friend who once told me a dream. She said that she dreamed that she was in a house with a balcony. The house was cool and shabby, and her father and stepmother sat in it chatting and turned a blind eye to her. The balcony where she stood was stormy, with three broken windows and three broken grass curtains. She desperately urged the rescue, so that the three windows would not be blown away by the strong wind. At first, she explained to me that she felt that her relationship with her father and stepmother had been reconciled and improved? Look, the three of us are in the same room. But until one time, she had a nervous breakdown, and she told me this dream again, and the interpretation changed completely. She cried and said? Over the years, myself, my mother and my sister have been stormy outside, like three broken windows. I was so worried that I saved this and helped that, but my father and stepmother sat in the house as if nothing had happened, hanging high. I hate it? .
Perhaps this is the true meaning of this dream, but we have been defending and deceiving ourselves to protect ourselves from collapse. Dreams don't lie, but you lie to yourself. Therefore, if you want to analyze your dreams, you must have a fearless heart to face the truth in addition to certain professional skills.
Some of the above methods are explored after my personal analysis in recent years, supplemented by self-analysis. However, if you don't look for a professional psychological counselor for professional analysis first, but want to deal with yourself, unless you are a genius and a genius, obviously, he won't have as much love, hate and ignorance as us ordinary people. So my suggestion is to find a consultant for a period of professional analysis, and then explore the methods and skills of self-analysis, supplemented by personal use.
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