The first type: emotional stimulation
Epstein pointed out that when people engage in certain activities together to arouse strong emotions, they are more likely to have feelings for each other. Activities that can arouse excitement include exploring, doing sports or exposing yourself to some dangerous environment. The practice method invented by Epstein is that two people lean back alternately, the other person catches it behind his back, and then tells the other person how he feels.
The second type: the balcony near the water.
Epstein said that the proximity of distance itself helps people to have a good impression. If two people consciously approach each other and deliberately let each other into their personal space, they will soon become close. Epstein's exercise method is that two people stand at a distance of about 1 m, and then get closer every 10 second until they are about to meet.
The third type: cultivate similarities.
After analyzing the research of Duke University behavioral analysis economist Dan Allaili and Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Epstein thinks that although people with great differences may be attracted to each other, people are more likely to become lovers with people who are similar to themselves, regardless of their intelligence level, background or personal charm. Some studies even found that sometimes just imitating one person can enhance each other's feelings. Epstein's practice is that two people stand or sit close together, move their hands and feet at will, but at the same time imitate each other's movements, so that both of them feel free to move, but their movements should be coordinated.
Fourth: cultivate a sense of humor.
Epstein quoted a study by marriage counselors Janet Raul and Robert Raul in 1986, saying that in a lasting and happy marriage, lovers always make each other laugh. Other studies show that women are more likely to fall in love with men who can make them laugh.
The fifth type: preservation
Epstein said that research by Greg Strong, a psychologist at Florida State University, found that when people do things together that they have never done before, it helps to enhance their feelings.
Sixth: relax the psychological defense.
Constant vigilance often makes people stay away from it. It is very helpful to relax your vigilance in front of the right person at the right time. However, Epstein pointed out that trying to paralyze the nerves with alcohol to achieve this effect will make people blind and weak. His exercise method is that two people hug each other gently, try to feel each other's breathing, and gradually synchronize their breathing with it. He said that after a few minutes, the two will feel integrated.
Type 7: Be an inclusive and good person.
Epstein said that many studies have proved that people like kind and understanding people. If others deliberately change their behavior to accommodate their own needs, such as quitting smoking and drinking, people will soon have a good impression on them. Mutual tolerance between lovers is also important to enhance feelings.
Eighth: physical contact
Epstein believes that simple touching can make people feel warm and comfortable, and touching each other's back is magical, even if they are not in direct contact. A study by Susan Speicher, a social psychologist at Illinois State University, shows that sex can also make people feel more intimate, especially for women. However, Epstein warned that people often misunderstand physical attraction as the feeling of love, and this attraction also makes people lose sight of their partner's inner personality.
Type 9: Self-disclosure
After considering the relevant research results, Epstein said that after sharing secrets between people, feelings will deepen. Epstein's approach is that the two sides write an important secret on paper, and then exchange views and discuss it. This process can last until there are no secrets between them.
Type 10: wholeheartedly
Epstein quoted a study by Purdue University psychologist Xi Mena-Ali Ai Jia, saying that mutual loyalty is the key factor in establishing a love relationship. Half-hearted people often doubt their partner's behavior and lack trust. In the long run, it will cause fatal damage to the relationship between the two sides.
Teach you a few tricks to "practice" love
Epstein thinks that one similarity of these ten formulas is that they can put themselves in a weak position, which he thinks is the most critical factor for people to have feelings.
"Soul Gaze": An exercise recommended by Epstein is called "Soul Gaze": two people stand or sit about half a meter away, and then stare into each other's eyes. The deeper you look, the better, and it is best to go deep into each other's "soul". Look at each other for 2 minutes and tell them what you see.
"Mind-reading": another method invented by Epstein is "mind-reading": write down what you are thinking on paper, and then use a few minutes to convey your thoughts to the other party through ways other than language, so that the other party can guess.
"love. Reiki ":two people close their palms, the closer the better, but don't touch." Epstein said that after holding this position for a few minutes, you can not only feel the heat, but also have a magical feeling sometimes.
The way of scientific love:
First, let your body "tell" your thoughts.
Experience shows that "body language" can often convey more information to each other and express richer emotions. So, if your oral skills are average, please remember: on the first date, what you say will hardly produce any surprising results.
According to researchers' calculations, the first impression you leave on the first date is 55% determined by your appearance and "body language", 38% by your speaking skills, and only 7% by what you say. This means that you may use some simple psychological methods (even if the conversation only involves the weather) to win each other's love. To do this, your body must be able to send some implicit positive signals to each other. The first thing to pay attention to is: never stand in front of each other with your hands crossed; Secondly, imitating each other's posture helps to make the human body feel close.
Besides, it's best to take some methods that can show your mature temperament or gentleness and charm, such as putting your hands in your trouser pockets to expose your chest. If we can find a way to keep our actions consistent, such as having a drink together, we can also achieve good results.
Second, * * * experience fear together.
Nothing brings two people together more easily than extreme situations. The tense situation may bring a major turn for the better in your life. Research shows that if a person is in a very excited state when meeting others, it will greatly increase his chances of getting romantic feelings.
This is because there is a close relationship between panic, excitement and admiration. In an experiment called "Swing Bridge" in the exhibition {Forbidden Language-Hidden -20} in the 1970s, psychologists Abdul Aaron and Dan Dutton found that if a man meets a woman on the swing bridge, he will find the other person more sexy and romantic-more sexy and romantic than when dating a woman on a low and stable bridge deck.
Of course, this does not mean that the location of the first date must be arranged under some very extreme conditions. In fact, in the relatively stable era we are now in, an experience in the playground may greatly improve the level of adrenaline in our body.
Research shows that lovers are more likely to arouse each other's goodwill after watching a movie full of suspense or tension, which is equivalent to watching those unremarkable movies. As for the reason, no one can explain it clearly yet. Perhaps the increase in adrenaline concentration caused by fear played a key role.
But there is a small exception here: although the tense environment will make those cute people look more likable, it will also make those unlovable people look more annoying.
Third, * * * laugh together
Love and laughter always go hand in hand. Humor always occupies a very important position among the factors that people traditionally think will make men and women fall in love. * * * Experiencing laughter can create a sense of closeness between strangers.
American psychologists Adoul Aron and Dan Datongbian once conducted a very classic experiment. They let two strangers play some games, such as learning to dance. In the meantime, they blindfolded one of them and let the other person hold a straw (to prevent him from speaking freely). Although the sounds made by these two people seem a bit stupid, it turns out that love does appear with laughter.
Of course, we can't blindfold the woman on the first date, but we can try to tell some jokes.
Fourth, choose the appropriate accompaniment music.
Generally speaking, musicians who play avant-garde jazz may be the most unfortunate group in the world. American psychologists' research shows that soft and simple music is the most helpful to the development of feelings.
Experiments show that soft music is more likely to make women feel good about men, while jazz or a completely quiet environment may have the opposite effect. At the same time, avoid going to serious concerts on the first date.
Five, the use of "love panacea"
Although people have been trying for a long time to make a magic medicine that can enhance each other's feelings, so far it has not been successful.
Animal experiments show that male mice can have a strong sense of dependence on female mice by injecting pituitrin. Some illegal drugs such as cocaine can also make people feel happy and increase the content of dopamine in the body. However, taking drugs for love should be completely avoided. Researchers say that physical exercise can also increase the concentration of dopamine in the blood.
In addition, the human body can also synthesize a substance called fenitidine (commonly known as "love molecule"), which can also make people excited and produce happiness. It is reported that chocolate is also rich in phenylethylamine.
Six, look at each other's eyes
Any woman with a variety of amorous feelings knows that eyes are a very effective means of emotional expression. Psychologists' research also proves that the eyes are indeed a very powerful weapon. Experiments show that when two strangers sit opposite each other, it is easier to feel close by looking at each other's eyes than at other parts of the body.
However, to scientists' surprise, the two strangers were even ready to get married immediately after the experiment! Psychologists believe that there is nothing magical about this: when we look at each other, the areas of the brain related to receiving reward information will be stimulated, which will lead to a good impression on each other.
The above is the way I introduce you to scientific love! Couples, did you do it?