First of all, I understand your feelings and pain, but in front of you, I know your pain must be more intense than mine. When we are awake, we don't always think, we don't always wash our hands, we don't always put things away, we don't always work and study, but we always look with our eyes, and we can't avoid the corner when we are awake. Therefore, it can be imagined that Yu Guang's obsessive-compulsive disorder is indeed one of the most serious types of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which brings the most pain to patients.
Let me tell you first, you can definitely get rid of this symptom, you can definitely be a normal person, and you can definitely not be influenced by people around you.
You say you are despised and despised, but the truth is that they can't understand your pain, can they? They hit you because they don't understand you. They are not qualified, but they really can't understand your pain. You must not feel like a useless monster, because they say you, you know? Only those who are outstanding, kind and sensitive, sexy and delicate, and gifted will be hurt by severe obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Symptoms mainly bring you anxiety and fear. You avoid it because of fear, and your relationship almost collapses. On the other hand, if you want to control the lack, you can't resist the temptation of Yu Guang. The collapse of interpersonal relationship, anxiety, fear and helplessness are the most annoying and painful places of corner phobia. Indeed, as you said, it's too painful.
But I hope you don't give up. As I said, OCD can be cured.
Symptoms can buy related psychological books to understand and change yourself! Psychology books are very helpful! It is very commendable that you can have such a sense of self-help, but you will be a senior three this year. I suggest you consult a psychological counselor first, cooperate with self-study and your own feelings, and slowly get out of the pain and get reborn. Of course, you can also rely on your own strength to help yourself and treat yourself through self-study therapy theory, but I am worried that the arrival of senior three will pose great challenges to your self-treatment room.
I hope you should first establish a belief that all the pain will leave me one day if it is natural. At that time, I was not only a normal person, but also a mature, profound, steady, peaceful and elegant girl who had been baptized by great pain. Do you feel abnormal now? Then why do you think those students who misunderstand you must be normal? In fact, what you have to do is to slowly accept your symptoms and let them go, so that the demons will slowly melt themselves. Blind control will not be effective, and drugs will only temporarily relieve pain. If you can't treat them fundamentally, you may not be able to relieve the pain. If you want to get out of such a corner of the world, you have to tell yourself that I am. I accept that all my pains stem from my introverted and sensitive personality (usually because of my personality, and there may be other factors), but I don't despise my personality, let alone my symptoms! I am myself. My subconscious mind tortures itself like this because I don't accept such an embarrassing self. I don't have to ignore my true feelings for the sake of other people's subjective opinions. I want to accept who I am. As for symptoms, they are an inseparable part of me, at least for now. This is not an absolutely negative thing. It brings me pain, but it also brings me depth and maturity. I will let nature take its course, put the symptoms aside and do what I should do, so that the symptoms will subside.
So take action, study hard, work hard, the busier the better, the more active the symptoms, the less you feel the symptoms, so that you are too busy to care. Take your time, it will get better!
I guess you must want to live in a geographical location now, struggling, being troubled, being pushed around step by step from the corner of your eye, worrying about people and things in your corner all the time, so you can't concentrate. I'm telling you, when you let go of acceptance, you won't feel how powerful those anxieties are. Now that I think about it, it's really a feeling of "throwing caution to the wind" Ignore it, live well, do a good job and wait for you. However, the process will be very difficult and long, but you must firmly believe that you will get better! No matter how powerful the demons are, they can't resist the sunshine. It's from the heart.
If there are any problems, we can communicate further. I wish you a speedy recovery and embrace life!