I feel that the child is too sensible and very upset. Children are only like children if they are willful occasionally, but it is a bit too much to be willful and unreasonable. Many parents can do nothing about their children's willfulness, especially in public or when there are many relatives and friends. They have mainly seen confrontation, cajoling, and parents, and feel that none of the above is the most wise. The following two parents have convinced them.
Case 1
At the weekend, Kiki's mother took Kiki, who is almost four years old, to Little Square to play. After six o'clock in the afternoon, my mother wanted to go home and cook, but Kiki didn't seem to enjoy herself and didn't want to go back. So she argued fiercely to see how Kiki's mother conquered Kiki who was not playful.
"But we have to go home and cook? Otherwise, Mom and Dad will be hungry at night, and Kiki will be hungry. Kiki won't grow taller when she is hungry, and you promised her mother to go home at 6 o'clock 15 before going out. We have been playing for more than ten minutes. " Kiki's mother said there was no hurry.
Kiki aggrieved said, "But Kiki hasn't had enough fun. Kiki doesn't want to go home. Qiqi wants to cry. "
"Oh, Kiki wants to cry, but Kiki is not beautiful when she cries."
"Kiki really wants to cry."
"I really want to cry, so if Kiki really wants to cry, she can't hold it. If it is not good for Kiki, Kiki will cry, and let's go home after crying. "
Kiki sad face at this time, but there was no sound. Kiki's mother added, "Kiki cries loudly when she is happy. How can you cry without sound? "
After listening to her mother's statement, Kiki gave a little groan. Kiki's mother said, "It's not loud enough!" "
Kiki cried with joy when she heard her mother's words. Kiki's mother saw Kiki's joy and asked, "Did Kiki cry happily?" Then let's go home, the clown monster is waiting for you to take a bath with it! "
Kiki looked at her mother, thought for a moment and said, "OK, but mother must promise Kiki that she will come down to play tomorrow, OK?"
"Well, all right."
"Then let's pull the hook."
After hooking up with her mother, Kiki took her mother's hand and went home with her mother. The whole process of Kiki's mother talking to Kiki was not impatient and angry, and she kept talking calmly. After listening to this mother-daughter conversation silently, I secretly ordered a zan for Kiki's mother. Silently thinking that if Kiki's mother forcibly pulls Kiki away, it will be a war!
Kiki's mother's words achieved two purposes.
First, during the conversation, Kiki's desire to play cooled down, and Kiki gradually calmed down and was able to reflect on what her mother said.
Second, Kiki was allowed to vent her dissatisfaction by crying, but she also showed her attitude. It's no use crying. Cry enough or go home.
Watch industry tourism
When the child knows that crying can't solve the problem, he will listen and see what the father does!
When my son was three years old, he bought a VCD at home. On the first day, his son watched cartoons and saw his eyes fighting. The next day, my son wanted to watch cartoons again. I said, starting today, I can only watch 20 minutes a day. Let's set the time for watching TV first. When the TV turned off automatically, my son wanted to turn it on, so he rolled on the ground and cried for nearly a while. On the third day, I cried for twenty minutes. On the fourth day, I only cried for a few minutes. On the fifth day, there was a countdown screen on TV, and my son ran over and turned off the TV himself. He also said to me, "Dad, turn it off. People say that automatic shutdown is not good for TV! "
Three "weapons" for children to achieve their goals
Crying and screaming
Crying Many children prefer "weapons", which are simple and easy to operate, achieve their goals quickly, and sometimes even "exceed" their goals. Many parents are afraid of this move, especially in public, when a child cries, parents immediately surrender.
Stalking, beating, complaining
A large number of parents can't help begging from a cute doll, and gently "grind" their parents' patience until they achieve their goals. This skill is usually used when parents have something urgent to do and are not in the mood to take their children on a trip. Impatient parents are easily defeated.
When angry, pout, don't talk, throw things, and don't eat. ...
Children who are angry, throw things around and don't eat like this usually know their parents' psychology or are used to the feeling of "little ancestors". This phenomenon mostly happens in families where parents love their children more, or grandparents protect their children.
Parents "fight" is the best policy.
It is the best policy for parents to face their children's willfulness and unreasonable troubles. Most of the children were defeated. This method takes effect quickly, which is not conducive to the feelings between parents and children and has an impact on children's body and mind. Even cajoling is not a long-term solution; Parents are the mainstay, and it is easy to raise children for a long time. .....
Stick to principles and learn to say no.
Parents must first have a certain principle bottom line, and issues that touch on principles must be resolutely rejected. Many parents think that rejecting children will hurt them, and saying "no" reasonably and correctly is a good guide and education for children.
Control your emotions.
Parents should first have a good and firm psychological state and be able to control their emotions. If parents are in disorder, they can't control the whole situation well.
The rules are set in advance and the consequences are borne by the children themselves.
You can't create Fiona Fang without rules. You should make an agreement with your children in advance. If you break the rules, you will have to bear the consequences. For example, make an agreement with your child: when dad goes to work in the morning, you must get up on time, have breakfast on time and send you to kindergarten on time. If you get up late, you have to give up breakfast, because you are responsible for your actions; Once the child is away, take his breakfast away and tell him: Sorry, honey, we have an appointment first, and we can't destroy it at will.
Take a step back.
If the child's wishes are reasonable and strong, parents can take a step back. For example, Kiki's mother asked Kiki to play for ten more minutes. After talking about this issue, the child can't say that the parents are unreasonable, and the child has no reason to refute it, but the parents can't allow the child to push his luck, because repeated concessions will make the child feel that the agreement is invalid.
"Post-war" should be cleaned up.
When the child is calm, be sure to reiterate to the child why the parents refused the child's request, because when the child is noisy, you may say that the child is irrational and won't listen to anything, so parents should explain to the child why he did it after the child is calm. Rejecting a child without giving him a reason for refusing will make him feel wronged and even cause anxiety, fear, irritability and despair.