65438+ 10 16 On the afternoon, a boy of 10 years old knelt on the street in Guiyang, Guizhou, crying and begging. Enthusiastic people advised the boy to apologize to his family, but he just sobbed and dared not get up.
Only when the reporter interviewed the little boy's father did he know that the little boy used his father's mobile phone to play games and spent more than 3,000 yuan in three hours.
Letting his son kneel in the street begging is to let him know that it is not easy for his parents to make money.
For this matter, many netizens expressed their recognition of the little boy's father's practice. Admittedly, it is necessary to spend money to educate the little boy, but it is not appropriate to let the child kneel in public.
Coincidentally, in June 5438+1October 65438+May, a video of a primary school student kneeling at the gate of Jiangxi Ruichang Fifth Primary School was circulated in a circle of friends. The video voiceover said that the pupil was punished by the teacher.
The school quickly responded that the pupil was punished by his father for doing homework at the school gate because he often didn't finish his homework, which had nothing to do with the school.
In the two videos, the protagonists are all teenage boys, and they are all punished by their fathers. The key is to kneel in public. How similar these two things are!
Even though I can't see the expressions on the faces of the two boys in the video, I can imagine that they are extremely humiliated when they kneel down, especially when they are pointed at by everyone. It can be said that they have no dignity.
A boy spends more than 3000 yuan to play games. A boy often can't finish his homework and refuses to change his mind. It stands to reason that he should be educated by his parents, but I want to say that kneeling education is very undesirable.
The punishment of parents making their children kneel in public can not educate children, but will arouse their resistance. After all, no matter how big a mistake a child makes, he will maintain his dignity.
2
Some time ago, one night, I was lying in bed brushing my circle of friends, and suddenly I saw a small video sent by a colleague with the caption: "I am so angry! Let her kneel down and reflect! "
I clicked on the video and saw that it was her daughter Yao Yao who was punished by her, kneeling in the corner of the living room to reflect. Although she only photographed Yao Yao's back, I can imagine her inner collapse.
I immediately contacted my colleague on WeChat and asked her what Yao Yao had done wrong and why she should be punished. After a while, my colleagues sent me a long speech, and the tone was still so angry.
Yao Yao, a freshman, is very slow in doing her homework. She wants to drink water for a while and go to the toilet for a while. Her colleagues will not allow her to dawdle and order her to do her homework quickly.
Yao Yao was very reluctant, so he was in a daze when he wrote a word. Her colleague knocked on her forehead in anger and told her to write quickly. Yao Yao is even more procrastinating. She can't write a word well. After repeated rubbing, she quickly rubbed her exercise book.
My colleague was completely angered by Yao Yao. She grabbed the collar and knelt on the floor. She asked Yao Yao to reflect on what was wrong. Yao Yao just cried without saying a word.
I quickly comforted my colleague and let her calm down first. Parents must not be angry when educating their children, which will easily make their children lose control of their emotions and easily infect them.
I told her to quickly pick up Yao Yao and hold her in her arms, and admit her mistake to the child, saying that she should not be allowed to kneel. It was because her mother was so angry that she did it.
My colleague asked me unconvinced: "What is it that I punished her for being so disobedient? I will let her know what will happen if her homework is not done well! " I was really speechless by my colleagues.
I told her seriously: "Yao Yao did something wrong. You can educate her, but don't punish the child for kneeling." Put yourself in others' shoes. Now that you have done something wrong, are you sure your parents want you to kneel down? "
After a long time, my colleague replied to me: "Thank you for reminding me. I really made a mistake just now. No matter how wrong the child is, I can't make her kneel. Children have dignity. "
I breathed a sigh of relief and my colleagues finally understood what I meant. Let a child of a few years old kneel, it will only make the child lose his dignity, and it will not punish the child at all.
three
When it comes to being punished by parents, I have personal experience, which is why I strongly oppose parents punishing their children by kneeling.
Sister and brother are only three years apart, and fighting is common. My parents are too busy making money to care about the fight between us. There is only one way for them to discipline us, and that is to punish us.
On one occasion, my brother and sister joined a group for no reason. Dad pointed to the gate and said, "get down on your knees outside!" " "
We walked slowly outside the gate, bent down and knelt down together. When my knees hit the ground, I only had one thought, and it was best to let me die.
Even the youngest child has a strong dignity, and no child is willing to kneel down, because everyone knows that kneeling down is a kind of humiliation. The moment you kneel, all your dignity is gone.
When kneeling, the child will not think that he has done something wrong and will correct it later. What they think is why should I kneel? Why should I kneel? What face do I have in the future?
It is just an educational means handed down from ancient times to the present. Many parents think that children will know that they have done something wrong and will not make mistakes in the future.
I only remember that every time I was punished by my parents, I always felt infinite anger and unwillingness. Why did my parents make me kneel? Let me kneel down and die!
Fortunately, my heart is strong. Every time my brother and sister are punished together, I can grow up safely, but I swear in my heart that I will never let my child kneel down again, even if he makes a big mistake.
Suhomlinski said in Parental Pedagogy that flogging will not only reduce children's dignity, but also damage children's hearts, and cast the darkest and most contemptible shadow on their hearts: retreat, cowardice, hatred and hypocrisy for human beings.
Punishing children to kneel is a worse educational means than whipping children, which will make children's dignity disappear, so this method is absolutely unacceptable.
four
Wang Tao said in Rules and Love that true love is love with rules, and real rules are rules that embody love.
There is no doubt that both parents love their children. It is precisely because parents love their children that they should make rules for their children to grow up smoothly.
Parents should understand that the premise of making rules for children is love, and only the rules made for children under the premise of love are really good for children.
Kneeling, and kneeling in public, is one of the most unloving rules and a punishment for depriving children of their dignity, so this kind of education really can't be adopted.
It is the first time that a child has been trampled on his dignity, and it is the second time that he kneels in front of everyone. The punished child will really remember such a humiliating experience all his life.
We punish our children so that they won't make similar mistakes in the future, instead of humiliating them under the banner of educating them.
The boy's father, who spent more than 3000 yuan playing games, wanted the boy to know that it was not easy for his parents to make money. He can take his children to experience the workplace where their parents work, and the children will naturally understand this truth.
The father of the boy who often doesn't do his homework wants the boy to finish his homework on time, so that he can sit next to the child and write with him, so that the child can know that the student's task is to study.
Teenagers have learned the importance of dignity. When they make mistakes, they know that it is right to accept the punishment from their parents, so they are willing to accept the punishment from their hearts.
However, parents who punish their children for kneeling are actually depriving them of their dignity. What a guilty child thinks is not how to correct his mistakes, but how to defend his dignity.
Some people say that our dignity is worthless, but it is the only thing worth having. That's right. Dignity seems illusory, but it is something that everyone cherishes.
? five
Nelson said in Positive Discipline that when we pay attention to maintaining children's dignity, respecting children and being firm, children will soon understand that their bad behavior will not get the results they want, which will motivate them to change their behavior while maintaining their self-esteem.
Every child has dignity, no matter how small the child is, no matter how big the mistake the child makes, it is most important to safeguard the dignity of the child.
There are many ways to educate children. Please don't choose the way of kneeling, which hurts the dignity of children the most. Leave a dignified space for the child and let him feel the love of his parents.