What should parents do in the face of Xiao Cao? Children are a gift from heaven. This problem is a headache for many parents. We should teach children to overcome these difficulties and work together to make them have more possibilities. Now share it with Xiao Cao's parents!
How to deal with Xiao Cao's parents 1 Many children like to lie, for example, some children will have homework when the time comes and who doesn't. In fact, this is a relatively normal situation, because children of this age do not have a comprehensive understanding of morality and integrity. Parents should guide and deal with it accordingly, rather than simply beating and cursing.
First, why do children lie?
There are many reasons for children to lie, some are to escape parents' reprimand and punishment, and some are because parents are too demanding of their children and make them feel scared. In addition, parents usually lie, and children will follow suit, so to solve the problem of children lying, we must start from many aspects.
Second, don't jump to conclusions
Many parents don't trust their children enough, and often judge whether their children are lying directly through their own subjective assumptions. In fact, many times children don't lie, which will seriously hurt children. Therefore, after discovering that the child is lying, don't immediately make an assertion that the child's moral character is not good.
Third, be good at observation.
Observe children more, communicate with children more, make unannounced visits, find children lying as soon as possible, and then fix them in time without delay. If the child doesn't stop and can't accommodate him, it must be corrected.
Fourth, trust children.
When children lie, they should actively carry out positive education, point out the incorrect places, and let the children know that lying is very bad. When a child admits that he has done something wrong and promises not to talk again, adults should express their belief that he will become an honest child.
Fifth, set an example.
No matter how much you say, it's not necessarily for the children. Parents should be cautious in what they say and do, set an example and let their children have a good example to learn from.
Sixth, we should respect children.
Although children are still young, they also have their own choices and needs. Therefore, when children make unreasonable demands, parents should talk on an equal footing and explain the reasons in a negotiated tone, instead of just imposing their own ideas on their children.
Seven, grasp the discretion.
Children can be rewarded when they tell the truth. If he is found lying, he should stay calm, instead of going into a rage immediately or even corporal punishment, which will make the child more afraid. Even some parents still beat and scold or write self-criticism books after their children admit their mistakes, which seriously hurts their self-esteem and often backfires.
Eight, make friends with children.
After the children go to school, the classmates and friends around them have much longer contact time than their parents. So at this time, parents should know more about their children's friends, know who these friends are, what they usually play together, and invite his classmates to be guests at home.
Nine, put an end to lying conditions.
This is the most direct, such as letting children have a notebook to record their homework and write it on it every day. Moreover, you can contact teachers more to keep abreast of children's learning trends and avoid the possibility of children lying.
What about Xiao Cao's parents? Pinocchio in fairy tales is a child who loves to lie. In the story, he was tortured by his own lies. These days, Ms. Wang, a citizen of Zhengzhou, is very worried about Pinocchio at home. It turned out that her daughter began to lie to avoid school. ...
Story 1: I don't want to go to school. The 7-year-old Niu Niu is sick.
Ms. Wang's daughter Ningning is 7 years old and is in the first grade of primary school. When I first went to school, Ningning was very good. She gets up on time every morning and arrives at school on time. But after the winter vacation, school started again. Ningning didn't say that she had a headache every time she went to school, but cried that she had a stomachache and a leg ache.
The day before yesterday morning, Ningning screamed that she had a stomachache and rolled on the ground in pain. Ms. Wang anxiously sent her daughter to the hospital. After some examination, the doctor found nothing wrong with Ningning. After returning home, Ms. Wang worried that her daughter would continue to have a "condition" and called the school teacher to ask her to take a day off for her daughter. As soon as the phone was put down, she found her daughter standing by with a big smile on her face, holding her hand and coquetry, saying, "Mom, don't go to work, please take me out to play!"
Looking at the small eyes that Ningning prayed for, Ms. Wang suddenly flashed an idea: Is her daughter lying? After patient inquiry, Ms. Wang found that her daughter was really lying. It turned out that Ningning felt more comfortable at home than at school, so she didn't want to go to school, but she didn't dare to say. One night, Ningning's father had a headache, and his family advised him not to go to work the next day and rest at home. So Ningning thought it was a good idea and began to "get drunk today" and pretend to be sick.
Story 2: In order to get praise, the 4-year-old doll told a lie.
Not only seven or eight-year-old children can lie, but sometimes even three or four-year-old babies can lie. No, the reader Ms. Feng expressed her troubles.
Ms. Feng's son, Yang Yang, is 4 years old and goes to kindergarten middle class. Smart little guy is very popular with teachers, but Yang Yang didn't eat well when he was a child. He often takes a few bites and then goes to play. Although it is better to go to kindergarten, Yang Yang sometimes eats half and half.
Last Tuesday, Ms. Feng went to school to pick up her son. As a result, the teacher told her that Yang Yang secretly dumped the remaining rice at lunch. It turned out that the children who ate quickly and cleanly not only got the praise from the teacher, but also got a small sticker. Yang Yang also wanted praise and stickers, so he secretly dumped the rice while everyone was not looking, and then ran to the teacher and said "It's over". In fact, the scene of Yang Yang's falling rice happened to be seen by the teacher. The teacher asked him, "Yang Yang, have you really finished eating? Teachers don't like children who lie. " Yang Yang nodded and replied, "I finished."
"Children will lie when they are so young. What can they do when they grow up? " Ms. Feng is very upset.
Why do children become Pinocchio?
The above two stories are not individual cases. It is common for children to "lie".
Chen Chen's mother said that her 3-year-old son painted the walls in a mess, and asked him who painted them. He replied, "it's dad." Qiqi's father said that her 5-year-old daughter cried and said that she was ill. In order to let her mother stay with her for a while, she had to go to the hospital for an injection. Xiaofeng's father collapsed even more. He said that his 13-year-old son cheated his signature in order to get online, and then wrote a sick note to his grandmother to his teacher. ...
In the network, there are many cases in which parents spit out for this. In addition to heart-to-heart, parents are more interested in understanding why children lie.
"Children's lying is a common psychological phenomenon." Zhao Zhe, an expert in parenting education in our province, told reporters that the instinct of avoiding pain and pursuing happiness makes children born with the ability to lie. People of any age, even newborn babies, can cheat a little with expressions even if they can't speak.
Ian Leslie, a senior Australian journalist, wrote Born to Lie based on years of interviews and research. In his view, it is smart for children to learn to lie at the age of three; Lying at the age of seven shows that he is uneasy.
What on earth motivates children to lie? Ms. Li, a psychological counselor, analyzed that children's lying is related to their parents, for example, in order to let parents pay attention to and praise themselves, or to escape criticism and abuse; There are also imitations of parents, such as parents making excuses to refuse other people's requests, and children will do the same thing when they don't want to do something. "Children will unconsciously lie." Ms. Li said, for example, children around the age of two or three have rich imagination. Sometimes they can't tell the difference between imagination and reality, and say something that doesn't conform to the facts.
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What should parents do when facing Pinocchio?
"Please don't easily equate lies with the quality of children." Feng has been engaged in preschool education for many years and is also the mother of a 7-year-old child. She said that when parents find their children lying, "don't worry, from the perspective of development, it is normal for preschool children to lie or make up stories, especially when they are 2-4 years old." For example, Feng said, for example, the child said, I saw a big tiger on the road. At this time, you can try to let your child tell you more details and give full play to his imagination.
Ian Leslie thinks it's hard to lie. "If you find that your three-year-old baby told a clever lie, that's really something. However, don't praise him. " Because after tasting the sweetness, children will "enjoy it." "Pay attention to the child's first lie. If this time is not corrected in time, the child's courage will grow bigger and bigger and he will tell more lies. " Feng also said.
How to correct Pinocchio? Zhao Zhe believes that most children lie just to get out of trouble, and there is no need to severely punish this behavior. Nancy Darling, a professor of child psychological development at Oberlin University in the United States, once said, for example, a five-year-old child was found spilling milk everywhere and asked, "Did you do it?" This is asking him to lie. Let's put it another way and say, "You spilled the milk, let's clean it up together!" "
Feng suggested that if parents know that their children are lying, they should not ask them again and again, because this will give them another chance to lie. Instead of scolding, it is better to patiently inspire children to admit their mistakes. "Of course, if the child bravely admits after doing something wrong, parents must praise him for daring to tell the truth. This will motivate children to insist on telling the truth. " Parents should also match their words with deeds, never make promises they can't make, and don't lie.