They will have good interpersonal relationships all their lives, and strong interpersonal relationships are the key to happiness. In today's workplace, success often depends on effective cooperation with others, and children with empathy and social awareness are also better collaborators.
The following is a set of guidelines to cultivate caring, polite and moral children, and the skills to put them into action.
Why?
When children are treated like that, they will learn to care and respect. When our children feel love, they will also become attached to us. This attachment makes it easier for them to accept our values and teachings.
Is the batter out?
There are many ways to love our children, such as taking care of their physical and emotional needs, providing a stable and safe family environment, expressing love, respecting their individuality, really caring about their lives, talking about important things and affirming their efforts and achievements.
0 1. often together
Plan to have close emotional contact with your children regularly. Some parents and caregivers do this by reading or doing other activities before going to bed every night.
Some people arrange one-on-one time with their children in their weekly schedules instead of letting fate take its course. For example, you can spend one Saturday afternoon every month doing something you all like with each of your children.
02. meaningful conversation
Whenever you have time with your children, take turns to ask them some questions, which can lead to your thoughts, feelings and experiences, and ask the following questions:
"When is the best time of your day? The hardest part? "
"What did you do today to make you feel good?"
"What did someone do for you today? What good did you do? "
"What did you learn at school or outside today?"
Why?
Children learn moral values and behaviors by observing the behaviors of us and other adults they respect. When we speak, the children will listen to our instruction.
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However, no one is always perfect, which is why it is important to us. In fact, by admitting and correcting our mistakes and shortcomings, we can set an example of humility, self-awareness and honesty for our children.
It is also important for us to realize what may hinder our own care, for example, are we exhausted or stressed? Do our children press our buttons in a special way, which sometimes makes it difficult for them to take care of her or him?
Remember that only children who trust and respect us will want to be like us. Adults can reflect on whether children respect us. If we think they don't respect us, consider why and how we should repair this relationship.
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Participate in community service regularly or contribute to the community in other ways. Better yet, consider doing it with your children.
02. Honesty and humility
When you make a mistake that will affect your children, talk to them about why you think you made the mistake, apologize for the mistake, and explain how you plan to avoid it again.
03. Register with others
When you find it difficult to care about others or establish an important moral quality, such as fairness, you should reflect and consult people you trust.
04. Take care of yourself
Whether you are with friends, walking, praying or meditating, take time to relieve stress, because it is very important for you, because it will make you care more about others.
Why?
Children hear from their parents and caregivers that caring for others is a top priority, which is as important as their own happiness. This is very important. Although most parents and caregivers say that taking care of children is the most important thing, children often don't hear this message.
Is the batter out?
Putting care first is largely to make children have high moral expectations, such as fulfilling promises, doing the right thing in difficult times, adhering to the important principles of fairness and justice, and insisting that they are respected, even if it makes them unhappy, even if their peers or others are unhappy.
0 1. Clear information
Think about the message you convey to children every day about the importance of caring. For example, instead of saying "the most important thing is that you are happy", you can say "the most important thing is that you are kind, so you are happy."
When you talk to other important adults in your child's life, give priority to caring. For example, in addition to asking children about their learning skills, grades or performances, teachers and coaches can also be asked whether they are excellent community members.
02. Encourage children to "solve problems"
Before letting your children quit sports teams, bands or friends, let them consider their obligations to the team or friends and encourage them to solve problems.
Why?
Children need to practice caring for others and being grateful. It is very important for them to express their gratitude to many people who have contributed to their lives. Studies show that those who form the habit of gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate and tolerant, and they are also more likely to be happy and healthy.
Is the batter out?
Learn to be grateful and caring. In some ways, just like learning sports or musical instruments, repeating it every day, whether it is helping friends with homework, throwing balls at home, doing class homework, or constantly reflecting on our appreciation of others, the increasing challenges will make caring and gratitude second nature and cultivate children's caring ability.
0 1. Hold a family meeting
Let children practice to help solve family problems, such as quarrels between brothers and sisters and troubles at school, to make eating more enjoyable.
Although as parents and caregivers, we always need to firmly support key values such as care and fairness, we can make our home democratic in key aspects so that children can express their opinions while listening to us.
Let children participate in making plans to improve family life, teach them the skills of thinking and solving problems, and give them real responsibility to become co-creators of happy families.
02. Real responsibility
Expect children to often help, such as housework and siblings, and only praise unusual kindness. When these routine behaviors only have expectations and no returns, they are likely to be deeply rooted in daily behavior.
03. Focus on care and justice.
Start a dialogue with children to discuss the concerns and unfairness they see in daily life or on TV, as well as the justice and unfairness they may see or hear in the news, such as people standing in important career positions, or examples of gender discrimination or racism. Ask your child about these behaviors and explain why you think these behaviors are concerned or indifferent, fair or unfair.
Step 03 express gratitude
Consider holding a Thanksgiving ceremony every day while eating, sleeping, driving or on the subway. Encourage children to express their gratitude to their families, teachers or others who have contributed to their lives.
Why?
Almost all children sympathize with and care for a few family members and friends. Our challenge is to help children learn to sympathize with and care for people outside that circle, such as new classmates in class, people who can't speak their own language, guardians of schools, or people living in distant countries.
Is the batter out?
Children also need to consider the impact of their decisions on the community. For example, breaking school rules will make it easier for others to break school rules, especially in our more globalized world. It is also important for children to cultivate concern for people living in other cultures and communities.
0 1. Children facing challenges
Encourage children to consider the views and feelings of those vulnerable groups, such as a child who just went to school or a child with family problems, and give them some simple ideas to take action, such as comforting teased classmates or contacting new classmates.
02. Dialogue
Use newspaper or TV stories to start a dialogue with children, talk about other people's difficulties and challenges, or simply talk about children's different experiences in another country or community.
03. Listen
Emphasize with your children the importance of listening to other people's opinions, especially those that seem unfamiliar and difficult to understand immediately.
Why?
Children are naturally interested in ethical issues. Solving these ethical problems can help them understand, for example, what is fairness, what they owe others, and what to do when their loyalty conflicts.
Children are often interested in playing a leading role in improving their communities, and they hope to become eternal forces. Many impressive projects, such as building care and respect and stopping bullying and cruelty, are initiated by children and young people.
Is the batter out?
You can help children become moral thinkers and leaders by listening and helping them think about their moral dilemmas. For example, "When my best friend doesn't like her, should I invite a new neighbor to my birthday party?" "At the same time, you can provide opportunities for your children to fight injustice in their communities and strengthen their communities in other ways.
0 1. Take action
Encourage children to take action on problems that affect them, such as cyberbullying or unsafe street corners.
02. Help children achieve unity.
03. Think loudly with your children.
Start a dialogue about moral dilemmas on TV programs, or give children moral dilemmas to solve during meals or other situations. What should they do when a classmate speaks ill of another child? When they see someone cheating or stealing in the exam? When they did something wrong and were afraid to admit it to their parents or caregivers?
Why?
Usually, the ability to care about others is overwhelmed by anger, shame, jealousy or other negative emotions.
Is the batter out?
We can teach our children that all feelings are ok, but some methods are useless. Children need our help and learn to deal with emotions in a productive way.
0 1. Identify emotions
Tell your child's difficult feelings, such as depression, sadness and anger, and encourage them to talk to you about why they feel this way.
02. Self-control
Three steps, an easy way to help children manage their emotions is to practice three simple steps together: stop, take a deep breath through the nose, exhale through the mouth, count to five, and try again when your child calms down. Then, seeing her upset, remind her to pay attention to the steps and do them together.
03. Conflict resolution
Practice how to solve conflicts with children. Think about the conflicts you or your children have witnessed or experienced, and the results are all bad. Role-playing has different ways of responding. Try to understand each other by listening and explaining their feelings until both sides feel understood.
If your child finds that you are experiencing a difficult feeling and is worried, talk to your child about how you handle it.
04. Remove restrictions
Use authority wisely to set clear boundaries and explain how your restrictions are based on rationality and care for children's welfare.
Raising a caring, polite and moral child has always been a difficult task, but it can be done by all of us. Nothing is more important and valuable than this.
I hope everyone will support me, thank you!