Yiyi said that she and her husband met in college and fell in love for more than five years. They have met their parents. Both parents are very satisfied, have met, and even set a wedding date. But recently, because her boyfriend told her a message, her parents resolutely opposed this marriage. Even if she insists, her parents will no longer allow her to marry her boyfriend.
Because her parents said to her, "She won't be happy with such a mother-in-law plotting against her daughter-in-law." Yiyi said that her parents are most concerned about the house problem. At first, Yiyi's parents said that the two families would buy a house with half the money. But then my mother-in-law said that they could buy a house directly without the woman's money. Even my mother-in-law told me: "She will help us pay off our mortgage for two years, because she said that our young people's wages are low and unstable, so we will definitely not be able to pay off our mortgage for the first two years, and she will not let me marry her and suffer."
At that time, I was very grateful to have such a good mother-in-law, but later my husband accidentally said that the house was bought in his mother's name. It is also because of this news that my parents said that my mother-in-law was calculating me and that I was helping the poor. He also said that if I divorced in the future, I would have no money, really nothing.
After listening to my parents' words, I feel very uncomfortable, because what I care about is not the house, but the calculation of my mother-in-law. So I said to my mother-in-law, "Mother-in-law, I'm not here to help the poor. Why should I pay the mortgage? " ? I thought my mother-in-law would be speechless. I don't know. My mother-in-law just said, "If you really live in peace, this house will be yours in the future."
It is precisely for this reason that my father didn't agree to my marriage at all, and made a condition for my mother-in-law, either to transfer the house to them, or both parents would buy them another suite together and only write their names. Moreover, my mother-in-law bought the apartment before, and they didn't take any mortgage, so she had to return it herself. Otherwise, he will never agree to my marriage.
Hearing this news, my mother-in-law firmly disagreed, saying that our family was planning a house, because if we were married with peace of mind, we would not get divorced at all, and naturally there would be no real estate problem involved, and we would live in that house after marriage, so our daughter-in-law would also have to bear the mortgage.
It is precisely because of my mother-in-law's words that my family disapproved of my marriage, because they said that marriage would not be happy with such a mother-in-law.
Although her parents still object and her mother-in-law still insists, Yiyi still intends to marry her boyfriend, because she believes in her boyfriend, and she also married her boyfriend, not her mother-in-law. It's okay to move out after marriage, which has nothing to do with it. Actually, she doesn't care who wrote the house. What makes her uncomfortable is only her mother-in-law's calculation.
When Yiyi told her parents her decision, her father was very angry. If she insists on marrying, she will sever the relationship between father and daughter and he will leave it alone. So Yiyi had a headache, so she asked me if she should get married.
Bian Xiao has something to say:
Although it is said that "it is better to tear down ten temples than ruin a marriage", in my opinion, I still think it is better for you not to marry. As your parents said, your mother-in-law is by no means a fuel-efficient lamp. Marriage is not as simple as you think. You can't marry someone just because you like him, because there are too many things that can affect your marriage.
As a bystander, I can see that Yiyi's mother-in-law is plotting Yiyi to leave a way out for her son. I think the important reason why Yiyi should not get married is not that Yiyi's name is not written in the house, but the attitude of her future mother-in-law.
Because marriage hasn't started yet, my mother-in-law has been calculating her daughter-in-law in various ways, leaving a way out for her son. You can imagine how calculating this mother-in-law will be and how distrustful she is after she really gets married. And even in the face of her mother-in-law's various calculations and provocations, can she really be the same as marriage in the future? That may not be true, because there are many unhappy marriages. It is precisely because of her mother-in-law's step-by-step guidance that various suspicions and contradictions have arisen between husband and wife, which eventually leads to misfortune.
I said to Yiyi: Don't think that as long as you marry the person you love, your marriage can rest easy, and their family can easily ruin your marriage. Moreover, in my opinion, this person is not a fuel-efficient lamp.
As far as mortgage repayment is concerned, I don't think Yiyi has any obligation to bear the mortgage, because according to the Marriage Law. If a house is written in the name of the man's parents, then no matter how much the woman repays the loan, the ownership of the house is the private property of the man's parents and has nothing to do with the woman. Therefore, if Yiyi pays the mortgage, she is helping the poor, because it has nothing to do with her.
I often warn the women around me that a sense of security is something I give myself, and only what I have is a lifetime. Don't be kidnapped by some people's morality, because it is worthless at all. People will change and time will change a lot, so don't put all your money on men, because the risk is too high. Once you lose, you really have nothing and you can't turn over.
In addition, women should understand that a man who lets you withstand all pressures does not love you at all!