That is, when young men and women are lovelorn, they will lead some behaviors and desires that will be punished or have adverse consequences if they are directly shown, so as to make them beneficial to society and themselves. This is the sublimation of feelings. Goethe, the great German writer, was not depressed because of his lovelorn love, but wrote the autobiographical novel Young Werther with passion, leaving a precious legacy in the history of world literature.
Emotional venting
People who are lovelorn should not bury their pain in their hearts for a long time, let alone savor it all the time. Instead, they should find some relatives and friends to talk about their troubles, vent their pain and troubles on their mood and reduce their mental load.
Emotional transfer method
The lovelorn can transfer their feelings as soon as possible and find new love, thus diluting the pain of lovelorn, healing the trauma of the soul and moving towards a new life. There is a saying that a blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise. Madame Curie's love story is the best example. Imagine young Maria not wanting to face it. "He will come back." If Leah really succeeded in her first love with her eldest son, could she become Madame Curie later respected by the world? There are three ways to transfer emotions: one is to find a new lover; The second is to join the embrace of nature; Third, take an active part in collective life and give your feelings and love to get rid of emptiness and pain.
Of course, in addition to emotional adjustment, there are many ways to treat the psychological imbalance of lovelorn people, such as psychological counseling, correct understanding, self-transformation, learning methods and obeying the law. , not discussed here.
In short, lovelorn is painful. However, as long as the lovelorn does not lose his ambition, he will rise from lovelorn. Then, we can not only avoid the psychological imbalance after lovelorn, but also make ourselves progress and grow faster and better.
Third, the self-regulation method of lovelorn
Speak freely/frankly/without reservation.
People who are lovelorn will have bad emotions such as regret, regret, anger, account adjustment, disappointment and loneliness. They should find someone to talk to and release their psychological load. You can pour out your troubles and anguish to your intimate friends without reservation in spoken English, and listen to their comfort and comments, so that your mood will be more calm. You can also use writing methods, such as keeping a diary or writing letters, to record your distress, or show it to yourself or send it to friends, so as to release your distress and find psychological comfort and sustenance.
make over
Timely and appropriately transfer emotions to other people, things or things other than the lovelorn object. For example, after being lovelorn, develop a closer relationship with same-sex friends, exchange ideas, pour out their depression, and seek enlightenment and comfort; Actively participate in various recreational activities to relieve depression and cultivate temperament; Into nature, into the broad mind of nature, can be comforted. Of course, this is a suitable way to keep close contact with other members of the opposite sex.
spill
It refers to the "I" liberated by reason, and reminds, hints and overcomes feelings with the rational "I". Think about it, love is based on mutual love and should not be forced by wishful thinking. We should respect each other's right to choose a lover. You can also do the opposite, think more about each other's shortcomings, analyze your own advantages, and get up the courage to meet a new life. It can also be imagined that lovelorn is a lost opportunity, but it allows you to enter another world full of opportunities. As Helen Keller said, "When one door of happiness closes for you, another door of happiness will open in front of you."
solve
The positive attitude of lovelorn people will update and sublimate their "self" and devote themselves to their work, so many lovelorn people have created brilliant achievements. Historical celebrities, such as Goethe, Beethoven, romain rolland, Nobel, Madame Curie, Newton, etc. Have experienced brokenhearted. They can be described as a model of renewing their "self" through struggle and actively transferring the pain of lovelorn.
Fourth, how to get rid of the shadow of lovelorn?
Ask yourself first if you still love.
Some people clearly love each other, but they don't know what they want. Don't break up because of quarreling and getting angry. If you are lovelorn, you will regret it all your life. If you still love each other, you can choose to be calm, but you must tell each other and don't make each other too sad.
Second, don't make excuses for yourself.
If you really don't love him, let him go decisively and don't try to contact him because of loneliness and frustration. Don't just look for someone to lean on just because you are sad, so that your's love will revive. Such love is meaningless.
Third, clean up the items related to him.
Although it is not easy to put it down, it is best to clean up or hide all those items full of memories at the beginning. Otherwise, everything he has can touch your heart and arouse your thoughts about him.
Fourth, take part in some outdoor activities and social activities
Socializing will help you get out of trouble. Beautiful outdoor scenery can make you feel comfortable and adjust your mood. Making some new friends can also help you divert your attention. In short, give yourself more opportunities to make friends while you still have free time. If you have someone you like, you might as well go and have a look.
5. Don't pay attention to each other's social networks.
Try to avoid constantly checking each other's social network information, because getting some recent information from each other may also lead to your persistent obsession. Try to get in touch with new information circles and avoid falling into a cycle.
Sixth, improve self-confidence.
A failed relationship may make you lose confidence. At this time, you can do some grooming or do some work that you are good at, which can help you recover your confidence as soon as possible and find your own value. Love yourself and do whatever you want. In fact, being single means more choices and freedom.