? On the way back, I saw a young mother riding an electric car, and the eldest son behind the car kept raising his hand, and his palm bent upward. Look carefully, it turns out that there is a baby between him and his mother's back. I can only see the tender pink calf slipping out of the gap. It turned out that his palm was shielding the baby in his arms from the sun. When I took out my mobile phone and wanted to take this scene, the green light came on. ...
? I followed them across the street, turned right and went straight, only to see the big boy lift the baby that slipped into the seat. What a strong woman!
The sun hit me, and at last I approached my door in the dark night. Coming face to face, five people came from far away. My mother took a child, and in the terraced fields around her, three children were tall, short and fat.
? "You have four children?" I asked casually.
? "Yes!" Mom is passing by. Answer me. I followed her back and couldn't help feeling:
? "What a great man!"
? May I continue now? Or give up? After dinner and bath, I'm going by bus. I want to be an example to my children! This is her way of life. I don't want to back down. (7.21-8.4) Get up tomorrow morning and run to Cai Xia Street, and then go home by bus after lunch. 14 days, try to run if you can!
?
? I thought I got off work at 0/9: 00/kloc! I was having dinner when the phone rang. ...
? Teachers are not easy! Just have a rest assured meal.
? Please allow me to express my thanks on behalf of the wiring teacher! (Although I don't answer the phone very much [shy]) No matter how many calls a class receives, it is difficult for everyone to wait, especially when there are many hotlines! I just got a call from another boy in Inner Mongolia. I never told him that I had talked to him. Last time he talked to me, today he said he was worried that he would lose control and scold me. I said we should make an appointment. If I think I can't take it anymore, I'll hang up, okay? He refused, said a few words and hung up.
Because I have been trained that I can't establish any relationship with the caller except my current phone number, and I can't disclose any personal information about myself (he asked me if I was from somewhere just now). So I don't know what you think of this problem. What is the best way for callers who can't have a stable consulting structure?
? I think it is best to try my best to help the caller when I can take care of myself. Settings are protection for both of us. However, what I want to discuss here is how much information to disclose to callers, in fact, how to set up a hotline.
? My understanding is that our operator can't be stable, but the hotline itself is stable, so we can make callers trust and rely on the hotline to a certain extent, instead of relying on a wiring teacher.
In addition, we don't disclose any personal information of the operator, that is, everyone faces the caller as an operator, so that the caller can get different benefits from different operators, but all the help is shallow, that is, the caller can end (stop talking) at any time, without apology, farewell (freedom) and loss (because there is no opportunity to remedy). I look forward to hearing the thoughts of other teachers.
? 1. I will disclose my unimportant personal information. Some callers establish a trust relationship through their understanding of the wiring staff. 2. If I find it inconvenient to disclose information, I will tell him, "This information is inconvenient to disclose, but I am curious. What does this information mean to you? Why do you need to know this information? " Through this question, the topic is extended. This is a hotline, a one-time service. This is not a consultation, so the requirements for structure are not high. As long as the trust relationship can be established and the other party is willing to express it, it is a successful service. 4. "I said let's make an appointment. If I think I can't stand it, I'll hang up, okay? " My training is not to establish any relationship with the caller and not to disclose any personal information except my current phone number. If I am the caller, I will feel that the operator has a lot of worries and concerns when I hear these two sentences, and I will also worry that he can't pick me up. So I might have to hang up, too. "He said he was worried that he could not help cursing me." This sentence is debatable: "First of all, tell me your worries, which shows that you care about me. Thank you very much. You said you were worried you couldn't control yourself. Do you often swear uncontrollably in your daily life? What makes you want to swear? Do my words and deeds make you feel uncomfortable? Would you like to say it so that we can discuss it? ...... "6. The above personal views are for reference only.
? The fifth point is good! Consulting skills, but I still have some questions: which personal information is important and which is not, and what is the standard? Trust relationship, trust hotline? Still trust the wiring teacher?
? When he told me that he wanted to swear, I responded: If you think swearing will help you, then curse. I know you're not coming for me, so it doesn't have much influence on me. Don't worry about me. ..... He was silent for a while, instead of swearing, he told his dissatisfaction in a low and steady voice. When it comes to excitement, you can't help cursing, but then you will be silent and return to depression and stability.
Personal information and sensitive information (such as name and telephone number) are well known, and others are related to the operators' own feelings. For example, his favorite star and I are alumni, and I volunteered to say that it feels like chatting with friends, which can increase the sense of closeness. What are the important and unimportant personal information, and what are the standards? This question varies from person to person, such as "where are you from", which is very important to you, but may not be important to me. Just grasp it yourself. Trust relationship, trust hotline? Still trust the wiring teacher? In the dozens of minutes of answering, it is the wiring teacher, which is the real relationship between two people. Security is the most important thing.
? Because we only have one operator at a time and disclose personal information, it is very convenient for callers to "find someone". Although in connection time, it is the relationship between two people. But outside the call time, this relationship still exists. If the caller likes a lot of operators, that's no problem. See each other often. If unfortunately there is only one teacher he likes, he will be hard to find.
? The former Binzhou girl is a typical case. She established different relationships with different operators, and as a result, many relationships ended in breakdown. Do you want visitors not to find more than one consultant at the same time when consulting regularly? Whether the personal information of the operator is important to me personally is actually not important. What matters is what it means to the hotline and the caller. This is more important. I feel a little guilty about calling people, too. I don't know what to do with other hotlines.
? One of my personal feelings is that visitors with unstable relationships know it. Last time I asked him about his harvest, he said it was company. I asked him if his company was important to you. He said, but you will also leave. I said yes, the hotline can't establish a stable relationship. Then he said that the counseling didn't complete the information.
? So just build a more trustworthy relationship with each other. Even a moment of warmth is warm. Even if it is lost, it has happened before. I understand, and he just wants to find an operator who wants to feel more relaxed when chatting.
? There is a relationship among callers, hotlines and operators. Maybe we often forget the function of "hotline". I also feel that he seems to be looking for someone, not necessarily a person. He saw if he could speak like this. Of course, sometimes he hangs up as soon as he listens, which is also his choice. I have a feeling on the hotline that I am chatting with you [covering your face] [covering your face] (unprofessional), as long as you can chat.
? I just don't want him to be the second Binzhou girl. I hope our operator is a whole, and the hotline exists stably, which will give him the greatest help. Although it is very slow ... I understand that the hotline setting has no clear rules for some special situations, but it actually retains some flexibility. As for whether it is good or not, I have no experience, and I hope to hear your opinions [happily]. It is difficult to guarantee how we can help him. Sometimes we think it's good for the caller, but it's not necessarily so. Put yourself in the other's shoes. If we are on the phone, what kind of operator do we want?
? Did you call the psychological hotline?
? Is teacher Peng preoccupied?
? Yes, other hotlines. I called, and whether it's good or not, I will evaluate the hotline as a whole. Don't expect to meet a favorite operator today, and find him next time. Very helpful. Personally, I think it's good to be able to listen without being questioned. You can have any suggestions or not.
? It is common sense that the hotline operator is unstable. Is it a degree of paranoia if the caller stubbornly looks for the operator?
? I don't worry too much, just want to straighten out the logical relationship between the roles in the hotline.
? In fact, it's not easy to call for such a long time. Call one by one, talk if you want, and hang up if you don't want. This is resilience? Is it persistence? Or is the demand so strong that you don't even know it?
Discussion 2:
Time: July 2 1 evening 19:30.
Supervision theme: How to save my worldview?
I thought the loving couple had been together for many years and experienced a long period of ups and downs. The hostess resigned to take care of the sick child and took the baby to see a doctor for a day. Unexpectedly, the drunken husband and colleagues are intimate, and the hostess feels turned upside down. How to help them distinguish, and look at tonight.
The theme of this supervision: how to grasp the evaluation point from the expression of visitors?
What is the caller's main consulting goal?
38. Confusion of marital emotional problems. How to effectively sell forgiveness, apology, * * * love to visitors, and focus on the goal: to repair intimate relationships. Marriage has long been problematic, and it is only a matter of time before cheating. Happiness is for others to see.
Teacher Jin Ran's "golden sentence" summary: Forgiveness is to let go of revenge, not to forgive, nor to forget ... the factors that hinder forgiveness: unsafe attachment, tension, etc. Traitors should sincerely apologize and express their love to the victims; If the betrayer indulges in anger, it is difficult for the victim to forgive him.
How to make marriage move forward?
I think first of all, the tourists' reaction is normal. If anyone finds out that her husband is cheating, it is impossible to be angry and resentful. Then help her analyze her marital status and see what kind of help she wants.
The caller has cancer, physical and mental illness and obvious obsessive-compulsive disorder. Dr. Jin Ran explained it correctly. Agreed, need to vent. It is a good thing that her husband doesn't want to divorce her. It's only been a month, and I'm still in the stress period. The visitor himself is seriously ill, the child is seriously ill, the husband is cheating, and he is under multiple pressures and exhausted. * * * appease and release emotions first. You can do emotional management first in the early stage, and don't make any decisions in a hurry. Hold it for a while and take your time. Forgiveness is an ability, but it needs a process. What is the attitude of visiting? What is her husband's attitude? The good married life in the past can never go back. She and her husband are also working hard. What is the biggest obstacle? What can I do to gradually remove obstacles?
Yes, I just said that repairing intimacy-forgiveness is a goal, and interviews are all around the goal. This goal is good, visitors need this ability.
Why are you pretending to have a cat's eye?
What do visitors expect when they talk on the phone? What does he expect from himself or his intimate relationship with his lover? Or what does he expect from such a family that has experienced all kinds of hardships? From what I feel. The visitor is struggling at present. He struggled in pain, making himself more and more miserable in pain. In addition to better letting him release his feelings, we can also give him some suggestions, that is, how to face the intimate relationship and how to repair the relationship between husband and wife. So what can we do to help him? For example, you can recommend him for marriage and family counseling. We can give him family therapy. At the same time, he is also given individualized treatment, such as cognitive adjustment, emotional catharsis and release.
Emotion has a case like this.
This is my billion-dollar experience in marriage and family counseling at the Marriage Registry of the Civil Affairs Bureau. In the face of all kinds of visiting couples, some of them registered for divorce because of cheating.
I think the goal of the visitor's phone call is the same as her model. She feels that things have subverted her worldview, and she wants to rebuild her worldview quickly. She doesn't want to be confused, she wants to come out quickly. This is due to her compulsion, unable to face the out-of-control state and not going deep. On the surface, she needs to get better soon. It is probably this level and what she is struggling with these days that she deeply reflects on, rather than the reflection on the true quality of marriage discussed by teachers.
Now we have a heart, a sun and a heart. We have professionals in marriage and family counseling who can help them and give them advice. Compulsive and related disorders: narcissistic personality.
The 1 consultation gave him * * * feelings, realized his pain and gave him hundreds of millions of points. I hope this visitor has faced so many hardships in life, so many painful experiences, his child's low IQ, his own cancer, and all kinds of things he has tried to do well in life. In fact, what a tenacious woman she is, so we can actually inspire her to use her own resources.
She hasn't reached the point of reflection. Let her know why her husband is like this. Usually too strict, or my husband is a playboy, and he is merciful everywhere. Is there a crisis in marriage at present? If you want to end and continue, you must think about your husband's good and know him from the beginning. Three advantages and three principles.
In the future, I will also apply my experience and skills of consulting couples in the marriage registry to the work of heart sunshine. It seems that the cases we received on the hotline really have everything.
She is stuck in this matter and has been thinking about it, and has not yet reached the bottom of reflecting on marriage. Real. If you cheat, if you have an affair, how can you take it home, how can you record your cat's eye and hide it? I guess it's release after drinking. It's human nature. Mainly because of lack of experience.
For such a series of blows, appeasement is the initial need.
These cognitive adjustments at this moment, if you tell him, are a bit like being reasonable, serious and fighting. This part of you. * * * Love, affirmation, encouragement and clarification of consulting objectives. Yes, to comfort * * * look at your own resources. Even if he is diagnosed with adjustment disorder at the moment, it is not enough to help him more, but it can be explained. More is to give him, hoping to give him a channel of help at the same time. Evaluation is primary and basic. Without accurate evaluation, there will be no targeted and efficient help.
For example, can the couple do a family consultation and recommend a heart sun expert?
Yes, husband and wife discuss it together, so that they can see each other's eyes and their own comments on the family. This is a social experience, but also a kind of knowledge, which is a comfort to each other. Suggest family therapy for things involving husbands, and avoid focusing on people who are not present at personal interviews. If you really wanted a divorce, if you wanted to cheat, you would have moved your property and San Xiao had raised it. Maybe children in San Xiao will have it, too.
For example: my sister's hypothyroidism, my child's neurological development problems, and I have had cancer. Do you want to study psychodynamics and family problems in depth? Why are there so many coincidences?
What's wrong with the evaluation of senior brothers at present? Can you share it? Agree with the operator's diagnosis! At present, the state of viscera is really trying to retain. It seems that he is really the family's own self-repair, and it is the kind of compulsory self-discipline that can't rub the sand. This time, he needs to rub sand, put down sesame seeds and catch watermelon, and catch family life.
I feel that visitors are more concerned about the current situation, and it makes me sick to see the community. Tourists who don't want to go home are forced and related obstacles, which have reached a very high level of anxiety. That the current events are only an aggravating factor. It's painful and it will affect your judgment. If obsessive-compulsive disorder has been diagnosed, do you need to re-diagnose adaptation disorder?
Manager xing feels great. Yes, there must be a family history, and there must be anxiety obsessive-compulsive disorder in the family history. Moreover, she wants to explain these anxious obsessive-compulsive disorders and what you said to her at once, and she is even more convinced. Visitors think that a happy marriage is an illusion! Generally speaking, the caller doesn't need to explain to him what his obstacle is. He can evaluate whether he is a little anxious, and some compulsion is enough. Really, if it rises to the level of disorder, it is better to evaluate the damage of social function, evaluate sleep and evaluate diet. You'd better go to a face-to-face consultation first.
Mixed feelings, nausea is just synonymous with many emotions. Teacher Jin Ran said it well. It is very meaningful for visitors to help them perceive and name specific emotions.
When the caller complains, can you ask the caller to talk about how he feels about his husband now? How do you feel about your family and what do you think about your future life? Because visitors are loved since childhood, it is a narcissistic personality trait to consider them. As for whether there are obstacles? Maybe he won't say it himself Generally, people with personality problems don't think it's their own problems. They need feedback from her husband or other people around them, and the information may be more comprehensive!
We'll be better together. When we are alone, we think about what we are worried about. Besides, her husband blames himself. How can she understand her husband's feelings? Make sure that the caller is a strong woman first, and then guide her to see herself ... She is so depressed that she can't understand her husband's feelings.
Class C personality traits, obsessive personality traits, are not narcissistic personality traits.
Did she say that depression means depression? So powerful, so powerful, and transferred the video from the security guard, which made the chicken fly and the dog jump.
The core of type B personality traits is emotionality and drama.
Visitors always look at problems from their own perspective, and she doesn't consider other people's feelings.
Avoid the imperfect phenomenon, and strive to create perfection to avoid it, including the fact that it is difficult to talk to TAs, seeking perfection from doctors, husband's affairs, children's mental retardation and other events have activated this belief and collapsed.
I can't understand my feelings, but I also say that I have good feelings and others envy me.
The emotional isolation of obsessive-compulsive disorder is obvious, the emotional communication between husband and wife will not be smooth, the visitor will be sick, the child will be sick, and the lover will be anxious about drinking.
What kind of intervention suggestions do you have?
It's hard for her to keep calm in the case of so many major blows. However, we believe that when visitors are critical, we also need to realize whether doctors and consultants are critical of visitors, whether they look at visitors with colored glasses, whether they always look at visitors with a morbid eye, and whether they see the positive side of visitors from the brilliance of human nature.
The tourist said that this incident subverted the world view. In view of how this world view is subverted, can it be carried out? This is a very general and abstract thing. Is it just an expression of her? This expression represents deep pain, and all emotional things belong to this description and summary? Self-awareness is quite thorough, and sometimes intuition is quite good, but when it comes to specific cases, it is still a little left and right, which is difficult to distinguish. [Yi tooth] There are too few actual cases!
What is the visitor's worldview? Tell me specifically. If it is black and white, would it be better to subvert this world view? Feeling that the caller was considerate, he put the surveillance video on his mother-in-law's side, and the circle of friends blocked his parents. People are not at home with cat's eye monitoring!
The real trouble of visitors is not the trouble of real world outlook, but an expression of inner pain. Tourists have their own conceptualization. Consultants need to conceptualize themselves based on professional evaluation. Instead of identifying with visitors. Well, that makes sense. I particularly agree with this. We interventionists use our subjective world to approach each other's subjective world.
Our subjective cognition, our previous life experience and some views on similar problems. It is possible to bring it to the caller in front of us to prove it. May misunderstand visitors.
Judging from her experience, her impulse works. At present, this caller is at least a highly functional "patient". One of the pains is that the ideal world she built was shattered by derailment. So I think I have a general evaluation of him and a general evaluation of his problems. If it is necessary to diagnose him, it is really not necessary for the time being. Yes, you don't have to diagnose anything, but you must know your visitors so that you can help them more specifically.
When all the depressed parts (her daughter, her illness, etc. ) come out, she may collapse. Still around the main counseling goal, other parts (such as obsessive-compulsive traits) may not be mentioned in early counseling. You don't need to share the diagnosis with the caller, but you will know it at work.
For example, the diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder, the general onset age in adolescence. Patients seem to have some compulsive behaviors, but are they stubborn and persistent, and they have this compulsive behavior for more than 1 1 hour every day? These are the points that need to be identified in diagnosis. However, don't rush to diagnose such an obsessive-compulsive disorder. There is a problem of adaptability at present. Yes, I do have this feeling, that is, I feel that I have experienced such great changes and events in my life, and he has experienced so many major events before, and he has survived all those negative and stressful events. This time it may be a temporary hurdle for him. How is her daughter now? It seems that she said to tell her husband at night, and that's the result. We haven't talked since, have we? 8 years old, how to treat now, where is her hope and pressure?
Tonight's supervisor is similar to Daolon Wong's Emotion on page 2 13 (the safest husband may not be safe), so you can read it when you have time. So, look at the supervision journals, 59 papers, and then look at the case sets of three textbooks, and get ready!
? Always walking by the river, how can you not wet your shoes? It seems that this view is very common in the minds of female compatriots. Girls are simple, and you think it is a false perfection. Girls are complicated, and you think you are too preoccupied. Too secular, and feel smooth. Too self-reliant, feeling narcissistic. It is not easy to be your visitor! What if everything is centered on solving the troubles of visitors? Maybe we can look through the book Emotion and see Mr. Daolong's consulting plan.
? I think this caller is very strong, and this time it involves the "backyard", which is really a big blow. I have a tumor, my child is ill for a long time, and then I will cheat. It's not easy to keep the present state. Only by seeing these can we understand the difficulties of tourists. This makes it easy to quickly and deeply understand the feelings of visitors. Instead of preaching to visitors from the beginning, you are too rational to understand her husband's unforgivable but excusable preaching.
Irrational can't go now, it's too difficult.