First, let me explain what perception is. Perception = feeling+perception
Sensory refers to our five senses, including sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. We communicate with the outside world by capturing the information of the outside world through these sensory systems, so as to see the blue sky and white clouds, feel the breeze, hear all kinds of birds singing and smell all kinds of flowers. These are called feelings.
Perception means that our multiple sensory systems act on the same thing. We have a subjective experience of this thing and then make a subjective definition of it. This cognitive process is called perception.
Feeling+perception = perception, and the ability to perceive is called perception.
Children with strong perception can quickly capture all kinds of information from the outside world, perceive danger and think through the five senses in any environment. Children with weak perception have no feeling at all about their surroundings. In life, she turned a blind eye and turned a deaf ear. Even if you are in danger, you may not feel it at all, let alone how to deal with it.
To develop children's perception, parents need to give their children enough time to see, listen, touch, smell and taste within safe boundaries. Let them feel, discover and explore with curiosity through self-experience. In this way, children can begin to connect with the surrounding environment, people or things in the process of exploration and self-experience. In the process of seeing, listening, smelling, touching and tasting, children gradually develop their own abilities of perception, observation and analysis.
Second, parents need to establish a safe border awareness for their children from an early age.
What is the boundary? The boundary is a requirement, and the boundary is what parents clearly tell their children what to do and what not to do. The boundary is the bottom line of parents. Once the boundary is set, it can't be bargained or changed at will.
1, 0-3 years old is the cultivation period of establishing border awareness;
The brains of children of this age are in the developmental stage of reptile brains. Parents focus on training children's conditioned reflex and forming muscle memory. Therefore, once the boundary is set, it must be strictly enforced. In the process of implementation, parents only need to tell their children what not to do without explanation. If the child crosses the line, parents can't blame and abuse the child with emotion. While maintaining a firm attitude, parents should give their children clear and simple instructions: what can be done and what can never be done.
2, 3-6 years old is still a period of stable consciousness:
Children of this age have a preliminary sense of boundaries, and they begin to have a sense of autonomy. Their usual range of activities will be expanded and their activity intensity will increase. They have many desires to try and experience. Therefore, they often touch the border in their lives. When the child touches again and again, parents need to persist and do it gently and firmly again, because only when we persist can the child's muscle memory and conditioned reflex of 0-3 be more stable, so that the child's cognition of the boundary will be more stable.
3, 6- 18 years old is the guardian and application period of children's boundaries.
6- 18 years old, under the premise of ensuring children's safety, help children improve their commitment ability and support their process from knowledge to action. In the process of implementation, parents need to manage, supervise and remind in time. In this way, children will gradually cultivate their self-discipline, self-management and commitment in the process of border law enforcement. When children keep repeating these effective behaviors, they have all kinds of abilities, so that children can use them freely and ensure safety.
Third, the setting of border content needs to refer to the following two standard conditions: safety and family cultural values.
1. Safe
Children need to grow up in safety, which includes physical safety and psychological safety. At the same time, it is important to mention here that this safety index needs to be set according to the different needs of children of different ages. For example, before the child is 6 years old, playing in the community, we adults need to follow behind and tell the child not to leave his sight. At the same time, we need to clearly draw a safe distance from our children. However, as children grow up day by day and enter primary schools, this safe distance can be appropriately extended, and children are told that the scope of safety activities can only be in the community and cannot leave the community. At the same time, you can also wear a phone watch for your child and keep in touch at any time. If children want to go to their friends' home, they need to report to their parents in advance and get permission before they can. In this way, the children can feel safe under your protection. At the same time, it also gave her space and freedom to move.
2. Family cultural values:
Family cultural values are the values that every family cares about most. What is the most important thing? What are the three views of parents? For example, a family's family values can include happiness, love, respect, trust, health, safety, filial piety, dedication, trust, honesty, harmony and honesty.
Based on the different values of each family, parents need to consider that the purpose of setting boundaries is to let children and parents grow up together in the same cultural values.
1 for example, in our family, my father and I are the kind of people who do everything, or don't do it, and do our best. Go all out. This is one of our values. Therefore, everything we say and do in our daily life and the state of study and work will affect our children invisibly. Children will grow up with us in such the same cultural values. At the same time, we often ask our children to do anything, and we don't ask for the best results. But we ask them to devote themselves wholeheartedly and do their best in the process. This is the best.
For example, some parents' core values are freedom, so they may have more freedom when setting boundaries for their children. Some parents' core values are respect, and there may be more rules about orderly growth and respect for elders when setting boundaries. National boundaries are unique to families, and parents should consider them according to their own family situation.
Fourth, the boundary setting needs to be different according to different age stages. The content of the formulation includes the following five elements: personal safety, relationship, personality, emotion and language.
Take the boundary content I made for my 9-year-old daughter as an example:
-Personal safety (environment, behavior)
1, go downstairs to play in the community, and be sure to go home before 7 pm or 6: 30 pm.
On the way to and from school, you can't talk to strangers at will, and go home directly after class. If you need to arrange other activities with your classmates, you must inform them in advance and get the consent of your parents.
3. When you are alone at home, if there is a delivery or courier coming to your door, you can't leave the goods at the door and open the door for them to leave.
Don't play with fire at home, and don't go swimming alone.
You can't take your children to the top of a tall building alone, or go swimming in the swimming pool or river alone.
6. When taking the elevator at night, if only the opposite sex is waiting with you, you need to wait for the next elevator, or wait for more than three people, regardless of sex.
-Relationship
1, clearly tell the children who can communicate and who can't. You can't make friends by adding the contact information of strangers through the internet.
2. Get along with strangers or familiar older members of the opposite sex, or friends of the same age. They can't touch their private parts. If this happens, you need to inform your parents at the first time.
3. Under no circumstances can you drink water or drinks that have been opened, and you can't eat food given by strangers at will; Don't stay in a closed indoor space with the opposite sex;
Characters:
1. Be honest and don't lie.
Keep your word, keep your promise and be punctual.
3. Respect the old and love the young, and don't bully the weak.
Language:
1. Don't yell at your elders or grandparents (grandparents or grandparents) and say rude names.
2. Don't swear, don't swear. Don't bully your classmates with words.
Emotion:
Allow children to express their emotions, but at the same time, I set very clear boundaries for her.
1. Don't smash things, lock the door, and don't hurt yourself or others' bodies (such as hitting hard objects with your hands, hitting the wall with your head, etc.). ) when you are in the mood.
Don't make a hullabaloo about in public.
The above is the boundary content I set for my 9-year-old daughter for the reference of the subject.
5. When parents express the boundary content to their children, it is enough to be direct, clear and definite. Parents should remember: never exaggerate or amplify the serious consequences of not observing the border through threats or intimidation.
This is actually the grasp of "degree" mentioned by the subject. For example, an old man in a familiar neighborhood. She especially wants her granddaughter over 8 years old to pay attention to safety, so she often downloads many videos of young women and children being hurt by bad people because they have no safety awareness on their mobile phones. (such as a stranger knocking at the door, don't confuse it with spray after opening the door; Harassment and attack by young women and bad people in the elevator; The little girl was taken away by traffickers on the road, etc. ) The old man meant well. I hope my granddaughter can be highly alert to danger and learn to protect herself after seeing it. However, the extremes meet, and the little girl watched too many dangerous and terrible videos during that time and became particularly cautious and timid. Never dare to take the elevator downstairs to play in the community again, and never dare to sleep at night. She is always worried that she will meet bad people and be in danger when she goes out. Sometimes I even wake up with nightmares at night.
Therefore, parents must grasp this degree when conducting safety education for their children. Just tell your child what to do and what not to do. If the child is afraid to face some situations, such as the daughter mentioned by the topic is afraid of sleeping by herself, then we can sleep with the child first and wait until the child falls asleep before leaving; For example, our daughter is afraid of being alone at home and thieves, so let's not force our children to face this alone for the time being.
Finally, as parents, we should create a relaxed, happy and loving family atmosphere in the family, so that children can feel relaxed, safe, caring, understanding and support in the family. In this way, with the growth of children's age and mental development, they can not only feel that they have always been safe, but also have a stronger awareness of safety issues. When encountering a dangerous situation, we can not only have a clear aim, but also have more and more strategies.