If you think that you will never be hit by an affair, it is as naive as a person who believes that he will never get sick.
As onlookers, it is easy for us to say: if he dares to do this, I will let him go.
As parties, we find that the hardest thing in the world is to say goodbye.
The affair is really terrible, but what is even more terrible is that you don't know how to get out of the affair storm and how to better strive for the best resources and choices.
99% recovery success rate? Are you kidding?
Many students who come for help often seek help on other platforms.
They usually encounter two kinds of emotional counseling.
The first one is "treating the symptoms".
For example, some platforms focus on sales, claiming to be engaged in "emotional recovery" services for many years, and the recovery success rate is as high as 99%.
If marriage is compared to an adult's body, then the problem of cheating is cancer.
As we all know, cancer is not a small disaster. Even in the early stage, we need to be careful not to relapse.
I have been consulting 15 years, and I have never seen a real psychological counselor patting his chest and saying that I can make the emotional compound rate exceed 99%. ...
Just like when you go to the hospital to ask a doctor after you get cancer, when will my problem be better and what are the chances of it being better?
No doctor can promise you anything.
Most people who can say such things are irresponsible consultants, or swindlers who leave when they get tickets.
Their routine is to teach you to be a scheming bitch-how to please men by hook or by crook, and the goal is for men to come back to you.
What about when you come back? How to repair trust? How to prevent derailment from happening again? How to rebuild your's relations?
That's none of their business.
Even they may not even meet the standard-they can only teach you some "fur", such as "wearing sexy underwear"-to stimulate novelty, "build a circle of friends"-to show change and "freeze technology"-to remain mysterious. ...
After three axes, there is no confession.
If the man still ignores you, he will be disconnected.
To what extent is it disconnected?
Forever and ever.
The second is "treating the symptoms".
They will tell you that your marriage problems are related to your family background, and you need to grow up in character to solve the marriage problems.
But for those who ask for help, I understand that it is very important for me to come from a family, but now I want to know, how should I deal with the harassing text messages sent by Xiaosan?
To sum up:
Fast-food emotional recovery, "treating the symptoms but not the root cause", grasping boots;
Psychological counseling, "cure the root cause", is far from hydrolyzing near thirst.
Therefore, in so many years of emotional counseling, I have tried to do it, that is, "treating the symptoms" and "curing the roots."
The most cost-effective recovery plan:
Anyone who asks for help will ask the same question: should I divorce or give up this relationship?
What relationship should be "saved" and what relationship should be abandoned?
Some relationships are irreversible:
For example, domestic violence addiction,
Gambling addiction,
Sex addicts,
Chronic mental patients,
Perennial paralytic patient
……
They need consultants more than your company. If you must do it, I will send you a Bible or Diamond Sutra.
Some relationships should not be redeemed:
For example, some people say that I saved it mainly to breathe a sigh of relief. When I get him back, I will abandon him mercilessly.
Or I kept it mainly for revenge, in order to make the junior wish he was dead!
This redemption was problematic from the beginning. I have turned my beautiful feelings into a poisonous snake in my heart and a palace fight in Zhen Huan's biography. In ancient times, women's lives had no way out except men's, and our lives were not so narrow.
Some relationships can be redeemed:
That is, people who are sincere, willing to invest, brave to face and good at thinking are most likely to recover their success.
So the most different place from all other emotional platforms is that we advocate "the most cost-effective emotional solution" instead of "the highest recovery rate".
Which of the four endings of cheating do you want to choose?
After an extramarital affair, our marriage will generally go in these four directions:
1. Haohe
After an affair, marriage can be reborn, hidden contradictions and problems are excavated and actively solved, and the quality of marriage is improved.
split up
The relationship is hopeless, but at least I saved myself in this disaster, faced life without him with a stronger attitude, and even found someone who loves me more.
painful
I make do with my ulterior motives. Although my husband has come back, I still have nothing to do with the third child.
Or even though I have broken up with mistress, I still can't repair the pain. I can only endure a seemingly calm marriage without trust and security, and live in pain day by day.
In the long run, either men can't stand the depressed life, or women can't stand the huge psychological pressure, so they quarrel again, or the third party makes a comeback, or the two sides are getting farther and farther apart, and they need constant self-anesthesia to get through it. ...
4. Bad grades
All kinds of dog blood plots were staged, and both sides were black and blue, unable to fight again, and the marriage ended.
It will take a long time for both sides to heal the wounds of this war, and even never get out of the shadow of derailment.
If you encounter this war, which way will you take?
Of course, we all want to be "good" and not "miserable".
But if you let go of your instinctive impulse, it is easy for you to take the latter two paths.
Either he's gone, but his heart isn't, and you're living a "walking corpse" life.
Or let all the money be physically and mentally damaged and the whole person be wasted.
What should I do if I want to be with the man who cheated, or if I want to turn the bad thing of cheating into a good thing and get back together for a hundred years?
Counseling. A good psychological counselor starts at 1000, which is expensive, and it can't directly make the husband change his mind and let the third child retreat.
To do emotional recovery, all platforms are routines. Even if I try my best to get my husband back, should I be worried all my life?
This is the origin of the establishment of the psychological assistance group outside marriage.
I hope to teach you a framework system that can cope with the crisis and rebuild happiness without too much psychological consultation fees.
If you want to go to war, we can provide you with the most cost-effective weapon and make you a real winner in the crisis of life.
The first weapon: understanding the nature of extramarital affairs.
Women often ask me:
Teacher, why is it that we have been dating for ten years and he is still so easy to take the bait?
Do men love novelty? Is it mistress? Or am I too old to attract him?
If you have been in such a misunderstanding, you will find yourself powerless, because these problems are hopeless.
Only by seeing the crux of the problem can we find the real direction.
According to psychological principles and years of experience in marriage and emotional counseling, we find that 99% of men cheat because their core needs are not met.
In marriage, where there is "repression", there is resistance, and derailment is the most intense form of resistance.
Men have been taught to be "strong" and "like a man" since childhood, and women can express it by complaining and crying.
But for a man, killing him can't tell his depression, fragility and fatigue. As a result, "sex" has become a way of transfer, giving him a sense of conquest, value and goodwill in another relationship.
When you know that a man's demand is "I want to eat an apple", you won't force him a car full of pears and call him ungrateful.
The second weapon: the ability to control emotions.
When extramarital affairs are made public, it is often the most critical turning point of a marriage.
At this time, the biggest enemy is not mistress, but our own emotions.
Whether marriage can survive this disaster depends on whether we can control our emotions during the "outbreak period".
Only those who can control emotions can really control the overall situation. Losing control of emotions often means the beginning of the next vicious circle.
And how to deal with your emotions quickly and effectively.
When we can control our emotions, we are ready to save them.
Many students have used faith therapy, a kind of writing technique with the help of inner feelings, and learned to stop the terrible emotional storm quickly and find a sense of self-control.
Trust us privately, let the teacher teach you how to deal with emotions quickly, and don't let negative emotions spoil our affairs!
The third weapon: get rid of men's swing and repetition
When the passion of love has passed, the running-in period between a man and a third party comes.
At this time, he will gradually discover that Bai Lianhua, who is gentle and considerate, will also lose his temper, be emotional and be outspoken, which seems to be no different from his original collocation?
At this time, as long as you are not controlled by your emotions and do something that makes the person you love hate the enemy quickly, he will enter the extramarital affairs period.
Sometimes he will make up his mind to go back to his family, and sometimes he will worry about his mistress. In short, he is in a state of struggle.
Many women are suffering from the capriciousness of men in the swing period and don't believe that he can really make up his mind.
In fact, at this time, we may be too obsessed with our emotions and exaggerate the crisis of marriage; Or we didn't catch each other's pain points and became the one that the other party couldn't refuse.
How to convince men to break up with mistress?
We need to know the available resources hidden in each other's words and understand each other's core interests, so that we can really find a solution.
At this time, you will have a crisis negotiation of "temptation+threat":
Temptation:
● * * * Love: "It's really not easy for men, and now they gradually understand that there are many unspeakable hardships" to create a sense of comfort;
● Family time: excuse that children and parents need him, keep men at home, participate in family activities together, and create a sense of participation;
● Spoil: "Your performance a few days ago was so warm that I felt so happy, but you seem a little cold these two days, which makes people sad. You have to kiss and hug to be better. " Stimulate men's desire for protection, transform their identity into a "beloved woman" and give men a sense of strength;
● Flirting: You can boldly tell him, "Husband, I can't sleep alone at night without you. Small meat is good, but ... "Create a sense of temptation through sexual suggestion and bold flirting.
Threats:
● Increase the cost of his divorce.
Make him realize that if he continues to hurt you, he will be hit hard. You only have to say it once.
For example, men always spend a lot of money on mistresses. If you have the financial strength, you can take the money and stop him from spending money on mistresses.
Many times, some women have no financial strength and few cards. What we have to do at this time is to accumulate cards that can threaten him and wait for the opportunity.
At the same time, try to recover the financial rights, starting with his large expenditure requiring your consent.
Then, you learn some financial knowledge, put forward financial advice when you are in a good mood, and gradually gain financial power.
Set a deadline for his swinging behavior.
For example, I can allow you to do this, but for a year at most. If it is more than one year, I will take action.
This is to make the other person have a sense of time, not to make him think that you will tolerate him indefinitely.
The fourth weapon: negotiation skills with third parties.
After helping her husband break off his relationship, we have to face the problem of a third party together:
How to become a topic leader without being provoked?
How to formulate different strategies according to the different personality levels, personalities and needs of Xiao Saner and send her away reasonably?
How to make mistress want to give up voluntarily?
Should you come forward to participate in the negotiation?
How to prevent marital infighting and let men support themselves, from "pig teammates" to your "source of strength"?
What exercises should couples do before they formally bid farewell to their mistress?
The fifth weapon: husband and wife heal and repair trust.
When a man is determined to return to his family, the final challenge officially begins:
How to clean up the battlefield and overcome the embarrassing period of emotional repair?
What are the characteristics of a family having an affair? What kind of reflection should be made?
How to get out of the shadow of the victim and become a successful problem solver?
How to rebuild trust and emotion, how to trust him again?
How to overcome the shadow of sex and get back together?
If you don't want to "forget it", how can you really forgive and let go?
The secret of professional emotional escort is "symptomatic" and "effective"
Women who choose to protect their marriage and exclude their mistresses are usually helpless.
Many times, they are afraid that their parents dare not speak, afraid of being laughed at by others and choose silence; Occasionally, one or two trustworthy friends can hardly give constructive suggestions except scolding their husbands.
I read a lot of articles about saving my husband and repelling my mistress on the Internet, but I can't implement my own specific situation. ...
Don't worry, we will help you!
Experienced guardians can defend marriage in this battle:
? Be a woman's most stable supporter and companion, and help women to remain stable in the torrent of emotions;
? Be the most reliable strategist and sparring partner, analyze specific problems, lead women to understand the situation clearly and improve their ability to deal with problems;
? They are also the best coaches to guide women to become masters of intimate relationships.
"Emotion" and "strategy" are the most powerful enemies in this battle for marriage. The immediate escort and communication of psychological counselors can effectively help women deal with emotions and eliminate interference.
Strategically, counselors can customize the plan of each confrontation according to the types of "Little Three", and conduct communication and negotiation drills in advance when necessary as "sparring" to enhance women's combat effectiveness.
More importantly, through in-depth consultation, the psychological counselor will lead the woman to understand the usual interaction mode between husband and wife, find out the "unbalanced point" that leads to the other party's derailment, and help the woman fundamentally solve the hidden danger of her husband's derailment again.
What a woman needs is a consultant who can give her the most stable support and the most effective strategy, and is willing to accompany her through this difficult and important journey.
Trust us privately, let a professional psychological counselor sort out your marital status in detail, specifically analyze the needs and personality of a mistress and a man, teach you practical methods, let him dump a third party on his own initiative, and let you rebuild trust and love!