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I once read the story of a net friend.
Generally speaking, a boy in a first-tier city with very good family conditions owns two properties worth about 6.5438+million yuan, while his girlfriend, who is also the only child in the city, has a decent family, but only a small old house with less than 2 million yuan.
Although boys themselves are not capable of working, they are not friendly to girls because of the "mine" at home. When talking about marriage, the boys blacked out the girls because the two sides didn't get along.
Seeing such a story, I don't know what the hostess thinks, whether she feels pity, angry or something else.
Today, I want to tell a story. The hero of the story is my big cousin Arvin.
What kind of wife did Arvin finally find in the third-tier city of our family of three, and what kind of life is she living now?
02
Gao Jiawen was a smooth child since childhood. His parents devoted themselves to serving his son and considered every step of his life planning. Gao Jiawen also listens to his parents and belongs to Ma Baonan.
Gao Jiawen's parents are ordinary employees, but they have a frugal family style and a certain investment ability. When Gao Jiawen was in his twenties, his parents finally saved three properties, which immediately highlighted Gao Jiawen's advantages among his peers.
Although Arvin's family conditions are good, his own abilities are limited. My grades in high school were average, and I barely read one or three books. Of course, there were three more. Now, his three universities are all junior colleges.
After graduation, Gao Jiawen was arranged by his parents to work in their work unit. Although the monthly salary is not high, three properties in Arvin that don't need to repay the loan have added a lot of luster to him.
Therefore, since Gao Jiawen was twenty-five years old, someone introduced the blind date, and the condition that must be mentioned every time was "he has a good family and has three houses."
But despite this, the road to blind date is not smooth. Gao Jiawen didn't meet a good marriage soon because he had three houses. This blind date has been going on for six years.
In the process of blind date, the woman's condition was ok at first, but later, the woman's condition became worse and worse.
Maybe everyone will have doubts. Although Gao Jiawen looks ordinary, he is also a clever boy, and he has a relatively stable job. Although the future is not great, people have three houses without repayment of loans. Why can't you find an only child in a city with similar conditions?
03
In fact, the crux of the problem is that there are three houses in Gao Jiawen, so that the marriage in Gao Jiawen is not happy now, which has a lot to do with these three houses.
None of the six or seven girlfriends Gao Jiawen dated before marriage came to a good end, because the woman despises Gawain.
Yes, Awenjia does have three houses, but after all, it is not a first-tier city in the north, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, nor a quasi-first-tier city, and the house price is not that high. Together, your three houses are not worth a set in the north, Guangzhou and Shenzhen.
In a girl with similar conditions, her parents are also frugal and have two or three houses.
The girl in the city thinks that your family has my things, so why should I condescend to you? Besides, your family has nothing to do with me. You have many houses, which are also your pre-marital property and your parents' property.
But Arvin thinks I'm so rich, and you're so lukewarm to me, making me fool you all day. You don't like me and I don't like you!
So Arvin thinks there is something wrong with the girls in the city. They really can't get along.
Later, when Gao Jiawen was thirty years old, someone introduced a girl from the countryside, Xiaoxue.
Although Xiaoxue is a rural girl, what are the countryside and cities like these days? Besides, people are studying in a serious university, and now they have a job in the unit, and their income is much higher than that in Gao Jiawen.
At first, Xiaoxue performed very well, without the femininity and affectation of city girls at all, and never took advantage of it and never asked for gifts or anything. Every time Xiaoxue goes to Gao Jiawen's house, she puts on a good show and respects Gao Jiawen's parents, without the pride and disdain of those city girls before.
Gao Jiawen is very satisfied with this. He thinks Xiaoxue is his wife.
04
However, not long after marriage, Xiaoxue began to change the name on the real estate license by innuendo to notarize the real estate information, becoming more and more indifferent to Gao Jiawen's parents and more hostile to Gao Jiawen.
After less than two years of marriage, the two have changed from "loving couples" to "cohabitants", living under the same roof but never saying a word.
Gao Jiawen was very painful and asked me, "Sister, how do you think she became like this?"
I think the root cause is Arvin's psychological entanglement. He thinks that his greatest advantage is three rooms, and he thinks that three rooms are invincible. As we all know, city girl, with similar conditions, despises Gao Jiawen, an ordinary boy with low ability and low face value.
And Gao Jiawen didn't find pride in this kind of peer-to-peer look-up of urban girls, so there was no suitable candidate to get married until Xiaoxue appeared.
Xiaoxue was born in the countryside. Since she was a child, she knew how to read and read, and how to fight for it by herself. So she chose Gao Jiawen, whose personal abilities and looks are average, but whose material conditions are relatively good.
In the process of communication, I tried my best to show my best side, compliment and courtesy, plus a little look up, which greatly satisfied Gao Jiawen's self-esteem.
But the subtext of Xiaoxue after marriage is: my family condition is not as good as yours, and my work income and face value are not worthy of you. Now that we are married, why not give me one of the three properties?
Li Bei, on the other hand, thinks that this is all the property my parents gave me. What do you care?
This is the crux of the problem.
Gao Jiawen knows that his parents have worked hard for many years. These three houses are hard-won. How can he give them to a newly married woman?
But Xiaoxue thinks it doesn't make any sense to marry a man like you. Do you really think I have a crush on your incompetence?
In this regard, the relationship between Gao Jiawen and Xiaoxue has always been awkward. Obviously newly married, but not as warm as a couple should be; It is obviously a lover who looks up but doesn't look down, but it is rare to say a word a day.
05
Therefore, marriage is still pure. Marriage without feelings is only for material considerations, and ultimately it is both sides who suffer.
Besides, except in first-tier cities, when both husband and wife have jobs, it is not difficult to work hard, manage the family diligently and buy a house together.
Even before marriage, if you want to own a house, you can work hard to achieve it. Now many young people can buy a house in second-and third-tier cities by themselves.
If we treat marriage as a child's play for the sake of the house and the other party's better economy, it will really harm ourselves and others.
And those who have houses have one or two or three houses. What's the big deal? More importantly, your parents have worked hard all their lives to give you these properties, and you didn't earn them yourself. What is there to be proud of?
Just because you have real estate in your hand, you look down on each other and think you are self-righteous when you know you can't be around, so it's too difficult for you to meet a good marriage.
Feelings are still pure. People who have a house and money don't rely on their own homes, as long as they look high above them. People who are not optimistic about the economy don't need to rely on anyone to get more money.
A good marriage never depends on the other person to live a better life. A good marriage is not to help the poor, but to love each other and work together.