He often dreams of terrible things more than twenty years ago. He seems to be standing on the back of a huge transparent firebird, trying to escape all his life, but he has already been burned black and blue by the firebird. The higher his morbid body flies, the less he feels the weight. The blue sky is the weight of nothingness, the weight of nothingness, but the weight of eternity.
He put his broken hand through the burning wing, and his back was pierced by one hand. He twisted his body to keep his balance, but he was thrown down and fell into endless darkness. ...
His life is often accompanied by Sanskrit bells. Poetry in one hand and wooden fish in the other. He came naked, went naked, only at the cemetery, and provided him with crisp candy he liked before his death.
People often compare his name with Master Hongyi, who was another legendary monk in the Republic of China. However, Master Hongyi has been practicing meditation for more than 20 years and strictly abides by the precepts. But he is a monk in a kaleidoscope, and the precepts are useless to him in the end.
He is Sue, a person who makes people feel fragrant and full of romance when they read his name.
1
Su is regarded as a genius and a freak by the world, but behind the genius, he often has a sad past, and his childhood experience is the origin of his life's pain.
He was born in Yokohama, Japan, and has an adoptive mother He Hexian who cares about him very much. But it was not until later that he realized that he was the child of He Hexian's sister Ruozi, and Ruozi disappeared three months after giving birth to him.
The foster mother is the last tender memory of his childhood. However, when he was 5 years old, he was taken back to Guangzhou by his father Su Jiesheng and suddenly fell from heaven to hell. Because of this illegitimate child, he was beaten black and blue in Sue's home. Sue's father has three wives and four concubines, and every wife looks down on him.
Later, when he learned about his life, he became seriously ill and was thrown into the woodshed, dying. At a young age, he suffered from the indifference of the world.
Later, whenever he talked about his childhood, he couldn't help crying. He said to his friend, "although family affairs are not enough for outsiders, every thought is sad!" " "
? 2
/kloc-in the winter of 0/908, Sue went to Japan to visit her adoptive mother and asked if her biological mother was still there. In the end, his biological mother didn't find it, but he met the most important woman in his life-Bai Zhumei.
It was a small concert, and Bai Zhu appeared with a sad and elegant guzheng. Fingers lush, playing the piano, fingers as if through the past. Sue has an ambiguous feeling about it. He doesn't understand. Does her little smile remind him of the warmth of his childhood? Is it the fiddling between her fingers that reminds him of the friction of his foster mother's palm and the temperature transmitted from it?
He met Bai Zhu after a brief encounter and wrote poems for Bai Zhu, only hating him for becoming a monk early at the age of eleven:
Ling Bo of Wushe Club is as muscular as snow, holding a poem of red leaves.
It is also a bowl of heartless tears. I wish I could not meet before shaving!
At this moment, he suddenly thought of his identity as a monk. In this cassock, it seems that he and the secular are already two worlds. However, looking back on his life, he broke more than one commandment. Shortly after shaving, he stole someone else's pigeons and broke the meat ring. Going in and out of romantic places is as happy as going home, ignoring abstinence.
In his poems, he also expressed his reluctance to give up his help:
There is no limit to spring worries and hatred, and they all sing to their fingers for a while. I have a hard time, too. I can't listen to Yakumozheng.
However, his heart seems to face the Buddha again, which is always contradictory. Only by burying this encounter deeply in his heart, did he write his thoughts in his collection and draw a portrait of the woman who was about to say goodbye. This picture of a quiet girl tuning the piano was later printed on a postcard in Zhang Zhengui, which aroused the infinite reverie of future generations.
He wore a monk's coat, but his heart was never calm. He spent his whole life trying to find and make up for the lost jigsaw puzzle. He has never reconciled with himself in his life.
? three
Cann't quit, there is greed and ignorance.
You don't need much gluttony, as long as you have a lot of sugar fried chestnuts, sweet cakes and sweets, you will be satisfied.
He is a real gourmet. If he lives now, he must build a big dessert house with candy. I can eat dozens of packets of Suzhou crisp candy a day, and the candy is under my pillow. Therefore, he was nicknamed "Sugar Monk".
Later, he had gastrointestinal problems, and the dean forbade him to eat sugar-fried chestnuts, but he still found a channel to hide under the pillow.
Perhaps, the sweet taste can make him dispel the sadness of the past?
When I am upset, I always want to eat something. This is a habit that he can't get rid of subconsciously. He found a way to temporarily fill the bitterness in his heart from crisp candy and candy. However, it seems to be a huge bottomless pit, and how much he throws in can only make him comfortable for a while. Waiting for him is a serious protest in his stomach.
He is often woken up by a stomachache in his sleep, but he is still the same after waking up, and he still can't control his mouth.
Those pains mean nothing to him. If you can't change the pain, it is better to indulge in it and fall in love with it. Besides, this kind of pain has been improved into sweetness by him. Every time I eat sweet candy, I can find an ethereal happiness and let him forget his troubles for a while. He doesn't want to come out at all.
As Chen Duxiu said, "Schumann saw that the political situation of the Republic of China he longed for was so dirty that he couldn't find any other way out. He is tired of this world and wants to die soon. " In fact, what makes him world-weary is the memory of his childhood.
In the eyes of the world, he is a "rare and unprecedented genius". Those who understand him say that he is frank and free, while those who don't understand him say that he is sick and deformed. In fact, he never pays attention to what the world sees. He is just a drifter who has not found the other side. Under the coat of frankness, there is still the melancholy that he can't give up. He has become a master in the eyes of the world, but just a simple and inquiring child.