The exact cause and pathogenesis of autism are still unclear (many similar developmental problems have similar causes). Not only parents have doubts, but also academic circles have no theory to perfectly explain its causes.
Decades ago, when people didn't know about autism, some people thought that improper ways of raising children by adults would lead to autism, especially the mothers of children. There is a saying called "refrigerator mom theory", which means that a mother's cold parenting style will make her child suffer from autism. This statement has been refuted by science and facts. Studies have confirmed that autism is a developmental disorder of the brain and has nothing to do with parental rearing patterns.
Since it has nothing to do with the way of raising, what about redemption?
Speaking of self-salvation, there may be another situation.
It's too hard to have an autistic baby at home!
The rehabilitation and education of babies is a big problem. The important thing is that the family behind it is also under unimaginable pressure! There is no doubt that being a mother is the hardest, and it needs almost a lifetime of care. Physically and psychologically, it is a great torture. Many families are full of irreconcilable contradictions because of the heavy burden, and even lead to the breakdown of family relations. And autistic babies may eventually be abandoned or sent to orphanages and so on. From this perspective, "self-salvation" is really needed.
If you have seen the public welfare micro-movie "Seventeen Abandonments", you must be deeply touched!
This microfilm is only 8 minutes long, but it vividly shows the helplessness and pain of a mother facing an autistic child. Because of years of suffering, because there was no hope, she decided to abandon her child, but she failed every time, 17 abandonment, 17 remorse, 17 redemption. This is the desperate struggle of an autistic mother.
Sometimes cure, often help, always comfort: cure the disease when you have the opportunity. You also need to constantly care for and help him (her) and communicate with him (her) with comforting words. This is the healthy mentality and rehabilitation concept that many families of autistic children need most.
Mentality is very important:
This question has been bothering me for a long time, because Yi Yi is two years old, and her speech still stays at the stage of: dad, mom, this and that. My old mother is really worried and has been looking for a solution. When she went out, she was also asking around about the language development of children of the same age, and she couldn't help feeling anxious. She looked up parenting books about language development on the Internet.
"Children who speak slowly are also smart" is a research result about language delay. The author's son also belongs to children with language delay, and tells some cases of children with language delay.
In fact, we all know that the output of language needs a certain amount of input, and when it accumulates to a certain extent, there will be output.
There is one thing I agree with in this book. The development of language is in the late stage of brain development, that is to say, language will be output only after the brain is fully developed. This is also in line with the phenomenon that most children with language delay have good communication and thinking skills.
My suggestion is that language delay should be intervened as soon as possible, but parents should not be too anxious and wait for flowers to bloom.
I hope I can help you. I am a horse, sharing useful parenting experience.
It all collapsed at first. More than ten years ago, an expert and a deputy to the National People's Congress said that my son could only attend special education schools. I was rejected by n preschool kindergartens. After reading a little theoretical book, I can't stand it, and then I will definitely commit suicide. Sell broken books as waste. Let the experts tell you what to do. I have no money, no culture and no theory, so I am ignorant and fearless. During the day, children go to normal kindergartens, and I teach them myself when I go home. Teach whatever you see, teach wherever you go, and hone yourself into a Tang priest. Tell everything. Due to the experience of being rejected by kindergarten, the NPC representative said that he could not go to primary school. I am particularly afraid to work hard for the goal of normal primary schools. I signed up for English, literacy and art classes before going to school. These classes are long-term studies. Sometimes I really don't know what to teach him, so I just teach textbooks. My son knew more than 2000 words before going to school, and he was able to write short articles independently and read many extracurricular books. My family never likes reading picture books, and I don't like picture books either. My son likes reading historical stories and science books. Mathematics has basically reached the level of the second volume of the first grade of primary school. English is basically in the third grade of primary school, and I can have a simple conversation with foreigners. I think he paints well, but it's a pity that he didn't insist on studying after school. The language expression ability is not strong, that is, to basically express one's own meaning. You can write it in writing, but you can't say it's preschool. After all, I went to a normal primary school at a normal age. Children are obviously not as sensible as other children. He doesn't listen to the teacher very much. Don't listen in class. On the first day, the teacher left me a conversation. I promised my teacher what I couldn't do. I will definitely work hard to teach when I get home. Reluctantly keep my son. The first time the teacher talked to me, I was so worried that "your son didn't attend class". He is really inattentive, but some knowledge is really learned at school, not taught by me. No matter how much I tutor, I can't teach all the knowledge in school. He can learn or take classes. I coaxed the teacher and the school, and my son got the fourth place in the class in the first semester. I won't persuade him to leave in order to reluctantly accept him. Then a little bigger, you can organize some competitions. What composition and English contest? I won some medals, and the teacher was quite happy. You can't imagine that autistic children are going to play an English debate, can you? No matter what your opponent says, I will start with "Nothing you say is right" and then spray you with my powerful memory words. Whether you understand or not. Anyway, my son is talking nonsense with foreign judges for the next hour. They came to Huludao from France. I don't understand or understand. Finally won a bronze medal. In primary school, I struggled for a little light for my school. The junior high school teacher came to see me once or twice, and my son's study was OK. The third grade children were disobedient and fought with me for a year. They were disobedient and refused to accept me. I successfully worked for myself in an ordinary high school. I wanted to find something to think about. I'll be fine after high school. I won't have a hard time with you. I also know that I have learned. The teacher never interviewed me. Occasionally I met a teacher on the road, and the teacher said that my son could let it go at will, so I was relieved. Finally, everyone disappeared. My son chose his own course in high school and told me his future plans and ideals. It's the first winter vacation in high school. I have booked my own online class, and how many questions and subjects I plan to do every day. Just an ordinary student. Up to now, the most difficult time is when I just learned that my child has problems until the first and second grades of primary school. It will get better and better after primary school. I don't think it's necessary to label children. Why are they autistic and unresponsive? He is just a child who needs to be taught n times in the primary stage. Others will understand it after teaching it once, but he is still at a loss after teaching it 10 times. It is necessary to teach a lot at any time. Besides, don't think too much about the future. The addition and subtraction within 100 is very difficult for children to learn, and may not be admitted in the future. There is something wrong with intelligence. My son is now struggling with addition and subtraction within 100, and it will not delay him from learning quadratic functions. Math is good. Besides, if you can't understand Chinese, why do you want to learn a foreign language? What China is saying to my son now is not so good. His English score in the senior high school entrance examination is 108. They have different ways of thinking, which may surprise math and physics teachers after junior high school. We can't always frame our children with our ideas. Just because you can't doesn't mean your autistic son can't. It turns out that my son is just better than me. Is this my self-salvation, or did the child save me from despair?
Children with autism are hard to find before they are two years old. A healthy and lively child is suddenly diagnosed with autism, and he may never be able to take care of his family or even himself. In addition, with tens of thousands of rehabilitation expenses every month, he needs to recover for several years, ten years or even a lifetime, which is undoubtedly a bolt from the blue for a family. Heavy pressure and unacceptable reality make it difficult for parents to stretch their brows.
Since the fact already exists, parents should adjust from the state of collapse, look forward, listen to the doctor's guidance and opinions, accompany their children to recover together, work hard to learn and make progress together, and find the subtle progress of their children. I believe everything will get better gradually, as long as you work hard, it won't be too bad.
No matter what kind of life, there is a life called enjoyment and a challenge called "going to fight" every day.
Come on, parents of stars, different lives, different attitudes and efforts, life will be different.