Learning ability, creativity, spirit, social ability, survival ability and practical ability are the core contents of the "six forces" quality education initiated by Happy Camp. Educating children is like cultivating a tree seedling. In order to make seedlings grow into towering trees and bear fruitful fruits, we must give them strong roots. Six forces are the roots of children's life. With a strong root system, other nutrients can be better absorbed. Therefore, "six forces" are the foundation of children's healthy growth and the six channels for children to bloom their lives.
However, the doors of these six channels have been closed by parents to varying degrees. Why is this happening? How can we help children open these six doors?
Let's take a look at these six life abilities.
learning ability
Let's talk about learning ability first. Why should we talk about learning ability first? Because most parents value this ability more. More importantly, learning ability is also the ability to acquire several other abilities.
Usually, the door of children's learning ability is not completely opened, but only a small crack is opened. Why do you say that?
Because parents don't have a thorough understanding of learning ability, they equate learning ability with academic performance. In my opinion, in order to fully open the door to learning ability, we must have a comprehensive and thorough understanding of learning ability.
What exactly is learning ability?
What we call learning ability is not only the ability to learn all kinds of knowledge, but also the ability to solve problems in the next 10 and 20 years. Think about it, 10, what kind of world will children face in 20 years? Are there many things that we may not have experienced? Does he have the ability to be independent of that strange world? Therefore, our children must learn a skill, that is, when facing new and unknown things, they have the ability to face and solve them. This is learning ability.
What is the relationship between learning ability and grades?
Academic performance does not fully reflect the level of learning ability, it is only a manifestation of learning ability. It can be said that people with good learning ability will not have poor academic performance, but children with good academic performance may not have strong learning ability.
What are the aspects of children's learning ability? How can we judge?
There are four key words: easy to contact, dedicated, persistent and conscious.
Let's talk about easy connection first. Have you found that elites in any industry are super easy to contact? Why? Because of the same industry, everyone is facing the same market. Only by capturing the information that can be used by me from the ever-changing market information can our enterprise stand out and remain invincible. This ability to capture information quickly and accurately is the ability to connect easily.
What about our children? As a parent, can you accurately judge the child's easy connection ability?
I remember a parent who brought their children to Happy Camp for consultation. He said that teachers don't like his children because they like to answer the phone randomly. Our counselor didn't understand what it meant at first, so the parent gave an example. For example, if a teacher says "East", children will say "West", but they can't help themselves and always like to talk. The teacher said that the child was intentional and often called to "complain". This aroused our interest in consulting teachers and wanted to see how children "talk nonsense". So, I chatted with the children. Soon our consulting teacher found that their so-called random answer is actually a manifestation of children's ability to connect easily. How strong is the child's easy connection ability? For example, when teachers talk about Australia, they immediately think of Sydney Opera House, koalas, ostriches and so on, and then they will unconsciously say it. In fact, what the teacher disapproves of is not the child's "easy connection" ability, but the behavior of students interrupting their teaching ideas.
In addition to the ability to connect easily, the ability to focus and continue is also important. Many parents complain that their children are not sustainable. They spend three days fishing and two days drying nets. They like it for three or five days at most. It is more appropriate to describe it in one word: I like the new and hate the old.
The root cause of this situation is that children lack concentration and persistence. Children's concentration and persistence are not enough because we have destroyed their hearing and vision in the acquired education.
For example, when a child is doing homework, you come over and see the words written by the child, and you can't help but be angry from the heart: "Did you write this?" This word is too ugly. Words are like people, understand? Rewrite!
The child was about to rewrite it when the parents came again. "Do you want to, you can write! How many erasers did I buy for you? Who will clean up the crumbs on a table every day? Do you pack? Come on. I want to write it again. "
The child came again before he could pick up the pen. "The stroke order is wrong!" Knocking on the table and saying, under the stimulation of such words, actions and expressions, can children still concentrate on continuing?
Perhaps parents don't realize that the child's hearing and vision are thus destroyed.
How to restart children's audio-visual sense?
Help children design activities and mobilize their audio-visual experience and experience in all directions.
Children are born with super learning ability, and they perceive the world through audio-visual perception, so restarting their audio-visual perception is the key to improve their learning ability.
creativity
Among the six powers, one power and learning ability is yin and yang, and that is creativity. In my opinion, creativity is the most valuable ability, because it is the wisdom that produces wisdom, and it is also an ability that future social elites must have.
We find that children with strong creativity are usually curious, excited, full of understanding and inquiry spirit. But what is the real situation of most children?
Compared with western countries, the creativity of most children in China is often at a disadvantage. Are our children really less creative than others? I do not think this is necessarily the case. A child is born with perfection and creativity. However, many practices of family education and school education cut off children's creativity.
When the child was very young, parents used many "no's" to bind the child's body, including his hands and feet. Don't touch this and don't take that. Over time, the child's exploratory nature was obliterated.
With the growth of age, how many standard answers are instilled in children through school education, which directly restricts their ability to think independently and prohibits them from thinking freely. Examination-oriented education is not without merit, but if it goes to extremes, it will stifle the spirituality and understanding of a life, which is not in line with the way of life education.
Think about whether the children had some whimsical ideas when they were young. Remember how we answered them?
"It's a fantasy. How is it possible?"
Such a sentence, like a machete, cut off the child's creative spirit.
So how can we change this situation?
Since children's creativity is ossified by the thinking mode we instill, we should help children break this thinking mode and re-establish a set of thinking consciousness system.
For example, Happy Camp teaches children four steps to train their creativity quickly: copying, modifying, researching and exhibiting. Never done it? Not afraid! Everyone else has done it, so learn from it. Learn from others' experience through various channels and media. If you can't do it once, you will get different results every time if you try again. On the basis of constantly absorbing the experience of others, we will constantly improve and improve, and then give birth to new wisdom and become our own. In the "creativity training camp" organized by us, the coach gave the children the thinking of "turning disadvantages into advantages and turning decay into magic". The children's natural creativity really made us adults feel ashamed.
In addition, you can take your children away from the cement forest, away from the streets polluted by exhaust gas, and into the embrace of nature, so that children can explore and feel the world with curiosity and excitement. Nature is the best class. The rain is fluttering, the clouds are rolling, and the sunset can make children's hearts soar, so that they can learn to talk with mountains and rivers and integrate with nature.
Here, we lead the children into a state of silence, let them feel the wind, rain, flowers and birds, and feel the breath of all things in nature, so that the spirituality of life can be released again.
Emancipate the child's body and mind, let the child no longer set limits, and let the child's understanding, spirituality, curiosity and exploration spirit grow again, and the door to creativity will be opened.
viability
Among the doors leading to the six life abilities, there is a closed door that can't be opened. My parents have the key, but I just can't bear to open it. As a result of parents not letting go, children are deprived of their viability. Think about it, he can't even do such a small thing in life, let alone encounter greater difficulties or let him bear heavier responsibilities!
So, how can we survive?
It is also to achieve four key words: strength, self-protection, liveliness and self-reliance.
How?
One word-"practice". In fact, it is to let children have the ability to live independently, and parents should let go when they should.
What we can do is to give him a strong physical foundation and the ability to protect himself, and let him make his own decisions. The rest is to help him design his experience, let him walk the rivers and lakes, know the world, learn to adapt to different environments and live as usual.
Give him "choosing a field" and "building a field" and let the children go to various environmental fields and human fields to experience various roles. He practiced more, learned more, experienced more, and then he wouldn't panic, he wouldn't mess up, and he could live as usual. With such viability, how can our parents not trust them?
Practical power
Practical ability is to teach children the way to do things.
Once a parent said in consultation: "I am in pain now. It can be seen that the money I have worked so hard to save in my life is not enough for this boy to squander in three or five years. What do you think? " In fact, instead of leaving countless wealth to children, it is better to give them the ability to do things, because money will be spent one day, but once you have the ability, you create wealth.
But in real life, many parents have sealed the door of actual power with seals.
Think about how many things we can do for our children in normal family life, especially grandparents, who have done almost all kinds of things for their children and think it is love for their children.
In fact, blindly taking care of children has lost many opportunities to experience a sense of accomplishment. A sense of accomplishment is happiness. If there is less sense of accomplishment, the happiness index will be low. In this way, we love love and even give the happiness index of loving our children.
So how can we improve children's hands-on ability?
We summed up 32-word practical software to let children master the way of doing things.
This 32-word software is divided into three sections and nine items. Everything can be divided into three sections. The first section is planning. There are three items in the planning, namely, goal, strategy and plan. The second paragraph is implementation, including system, scheduling and management; The third paragraph is a review, including adjustment, consolidation and improvement. "Three paragraphs and nine items" has established a set of thinking system for children to do things with three talents.
Give children a mind map to do things, and then design activities for them to practice repeatedly until they form a habit. For example, in the "Six Forces Training Camp" with the theme of "field battle", children will hold a mobilization meeting before each battle begins. Do a good job in pre-war mobilization and division of labor. Who will be the batter? Who is the commander? Who ambushed? What operational deployment? Is it frontal attack or retreat to the flank? How many times does it charge? How long is the interval and so on. As soon as the battle started, it was carried out in strict accordance with the pre-war deployment. After the battle, they will sum up their experience in time. Are the tactics appropriate? Which position should I change? You will find that every time a child fights a battle, he will gain something. This is the "three-segment and nine-item" effect of actual strength.
After attending the "actual combat training camp", several children designed a spring outing plan with "three sections and nine items" to impress their parents. In the plan, they fully applied the "three sections and nine items" of practical power to real life. They first made a plan, the goal of which was to reduce the pressure of study. The first strategy is to go further, but find a parent to accompany you; The second strategy is to get closer. In addition, they also divided the work among all the students, who was responsible for inquiring about the route, who was responsible for food, who was responsible for finance and so on. After the activity, we should also lead everyone to summarize and analyze what they have done well and the existing problems. Parents only need one person to accompany them all the time and be an observer.
If you want your children to do things in an orderly way, stop dawdling and be inefficient, then input this 32-word software to your children, design some activities, let them make their own decisions, skillfully use the "three paragraphs and nine items", learn to manage themselves and do their own things well.
Social power
If practical ability is the way to do things, then social ability is the way to be a man.
For children, to truly stand on the society, they should learn to do things as well as to be human. However, our parents often wrap their children tightly with love and care, which blocks the channels for children to contact and communicate with the outside world. Where are the children? Hide behind your parents and grow up "carefree".
A child once told our coach that he wanted to run for monitor. His father said, "Being a monitor is tiring and annoying. Just mind your own business." When we organize children to participate in off-campus practice activities, many parents are always around, delivering water and dressing for a while. I really want to ask these parents, when their children grow up and need to face the society directly, can you continue to stand in their way in the face of complex interpersonal relationships? Since you can't, please let go and let the children experience it in group life.
People with good social skills are often enthusiastic, helpful, tolerant and attractive.
How to make children warm, helpful, tolerant and attractive?
First of all, we should expand the safe area.
We find that many children have poor social skills because their safety zone is too small. Safe zone is also the presentation of thinking mode.
For example, people often say, "I really don't like anyone. You look at him like this, he is tired of singing! " "
What is this? Unacceptable. Everyone has his own safety zone, which can only accommodate people and things he can accept, but some people can't even accommodate themselves in the safety zone.
We have designed many activities to let children break through the safe zone in play.
For example, we ask children to meet as many strangers as possible in half an hour, introduce themselves and let them leave their names. The first sentence at the beginning is often difficult. Once you open your mouth, it will be much smoother. See, the children are ready to say something first, and then they can get the goal right and go up. When children get their first harvest, they will have self-confidence and become more and more smooth.
How to make children attractive? How to make him helpful? In the final analysis, we should start with the construction of children's spiritual world, so that children can have a strong spiritual world.
intelligence
Six forces are original and integrated. Survival, study, practice, social interaction and creativity are external, while spirit is internal. They are yin and yang. Spirit is like a power plant of life energy, it is the ability to support all abilities.
A child with strong spirit, brave and confident, full of love and positive energy, has lofty goals and dreams. Let's take a closer look at the children around us. Are they energetic?
Our consultant once met such a child who didn't care about anything and was not interested in anything. Asked what his ideal and goal are, he said with a straight face, "Being admitted to a good university will make mom and dad happy." I can't help asking his parents: Is this the ideal of children or parents? Doesn't he have one thing he wants to do with all his might? Has he ever thought about what he wants to be?
Other children flinch when they encounter difficulties and say that they can't do it, which is a sign of lack of self-confidence; Some children, who have been living in their own world, never consider other people's feelings, take their parents' efforts for granted, are ungrateful, and have no love in their hearts ... What happened to our children?
In the final analysis, children's spiritual world is too scarce and their spirit is seriously insufficient. Why is this happening? Whose reason is it?
Think about it, parents work hard every day, for what?
Many parents will say that in order to give children a better life.
But do we know what a good life is like in children's eyes?
Is it better just to live, dress and eat? No, it's not enough. For children, these are only the most basic physiological needs, only staying at the material level, but life growth needs a higher level of spiritual needs.
So how to enrich children's spiritual world?
First of all, we should plant a dream seed for our children.
Dreams can light up children's lives, and with dreams, children's lives will be more exciting. In order to help more children detonate and ignite their dreams, we have designed dream-related activities in many camp activities, so that children can display their life energy in these activities.
When we plant the seeds of dreams in a child's heart, his spiritual world will be completely enriched, his life direction will be more clear, and he will be more aware of what he wants to do, what he gets and what he becomes.
Secondly, give the child the ability to love, so that he can "combine" with everything.
Love yourself and be with yourself. Being able to fully accept yourself is to be in harmony with yourself. I want to say to my parents, "Only by loving yourself can I love my children". From the perspective of cosmic thinking, when parents love themselves, their energy will increase and their attraction will increase, so that children can get energy from their parents. If the mother is strong and brave, the child will be strong and brave. If the father can take up family responsibilities, the children will be responsible and responsible. So parents should love themselves first, so that their children can love themselves.
Only by learning to love yourself can you have the energy to love others. When your own pattern is large enough, you can accept more people, even more people, and really get along with others, family, family, country and nation.
Let children love everything in the world and share the same frequency with the universe. Help the child to build a strong heart, make him a truly powerful person, and dare to go forward when encountering difficulties, instead of hiding in the corner and secretly being sad; In the face of the weak, you can be merciful rather than indifferent; In the face of challenges, you are full of confidence rather than running away. Such a child, there is a giant living in his heart, supported by strong spiritual strength. They are brave, confident and caring. They love themselves and others. They have sound personality, life value and pursuit of faith.
To give children a good education, we need to stimulate their exuberant vitality, and six kinds of living abilities are the basis for their life to bloom and the ability system for their success.
Every parent wants his child to succeed. The four maps advocated by Happy Camp recognize and define success from four aspects, including: money and career, interpersonal relationship, health and safety, spiritual life and service. And six life abilities are the abilities needed to achieve the four successful maps. The way of doing things is the foundation of career success; The way to be a man is the ability to realize interpersonal relationships; The way of survival, making children safe and healthy, is the material basis of everything; Have a strong spirit, let children have a rich spiritual life and give back to society; The success of these four maps is inseparable from learning ability and creativity. Therefore, in order to realize the four success charts and let children's vitality bloom completely, it is necessary to help children get through the channels of six life abilities, which is also one of the three core tasks of life education.
-Cao Hui's "Parent-child Wisdom"